Elder Jiang turned to face me, and I felt my knees buckle under the pressure of his qi. He was at least in the Spirit Severing realm, though it was difficult to guess how many severings he had completed. He was incomparably stronger than Long Guoqiang, and before that strength, I suddenly felt unsure if I would be able to survive.

"Bai Chunxue!" His voice boomed with the rabid force of a thunderstorm. "When the Bai and Long families told me that you had killed my grandnephew Jiang Hanfeng, I thought they were only pinning the blame for a family spat on you, so I clenched my teeth and did nothing. But it seems that they were right all along! It was actually you!" His face contorted with fury, and his eyes began burning with grey flames. "For your crime I will rip apart your skeleton and feed your flesh to the vultures, right here in the Central Theatre! You piece of shit, I will kill you if it is the last thing I do!"

He let out a wave of killing intent so dense that the tiles under our feet began to crack. I winced, but I remained standing. I had power now. I would not crumple so easily.

"Senior," Bailian whispered, "I am not permitted to help you with this." And then she took several steps back, back to the other side of the Gate of Glory.

"Natsuki..." I thought.

—If you wish for my power, it shall be there.

I gritted my teeth and straightened my posture with Natsuki's power. Then I stepped forward, projecting as much confidence as I could. "Elder Jiang, I will admit it," I shrugged. "I killed Jiang Hanfeng. But I did not break the sect rules, so you cannot punish me. How much face would our sect lose if the public saw that our elders went around picking fights with the outer sect disciples?"

"Did not break any rules?!" His eyes opened wide like oyster-pearls, and he clutched at his chest as if he was going to cough up blood in anger. "Bastard, you killed my grandnephew, and you did not even allow us to collect his corpse! How dare you say— how dare you say that you did not break any rules?!"

The crowd gathered in the stands began muttering, but nobody dared speak loud enough for Elder Jiang to make out their words.

"The sect rules do not prohibit killing other sect members," I laughed. "They only prohibit such killings on sect grounds. How can you prove that I did not kill him in the Public Area or in Kangtian City? In fact, since you have not found his corpse anywhere on sect grounds, is that not incontrovertible proof that I killed him elsewhere? If you wish to punish me unjustly, then expel me from the sect, and you can kill me as you would kill a civilian!"

"Sophistry!" he shouted, loudly enough to rend the skies! His cry carried such force that the trees bent outwards and the birds fled their abodes, that the sky overhead flashed white with roiling qi and the ground below rumbled and caved! "If I let you go on such a flimsy premise, then how could I carry the surname Jiang?! How could I show my face to my ancestors?! I have already wronged them by waiting until Hanfeng's corpse has gone cold! Bai Chunxue, in their name I shall kill you now!"

Elder Jiang pulled a talisman from his robes and raised it towards the clear sky. Four simultaneous bolt of lightning fell from the four cardinal directions, imbuing the talisman with the power of the heavens! Then he pointed it forward, at me, and—

—"Jiang Sheng, hold yourself."

In the blink of an eye, Elder Ouyang Di was standing between us.

"Ouyang Di? Why do you stop me?!" Elder Jiang cried in frustration.

"Bai Chunxue is correct. Since we have no concrete proof of a crime, before you kill him, you must first expel him from the sect, otherwise it will be a violation of sect rules. This is a matter of face for the sect, so I cannot permit you to act unilaterally."

"Then let us expel him, and then I will kill him!"

"Of course, but we cannot do that so easily, especially since this concerns the Bai family. We must wait for the Sect Leader to emerge from seclusion a month hence, and then have a meeting between all the elders. We do not currently have quorum for such a decision."

"In a month?!" Clutching his chest, Elder Jiang coughed up blood in frustration. "How can I wait for a month to avenge my grandnephew?!"

"We are not exempted from our own rules any more than the Buddha is exempted from his own precepts."

Grimacing with unresolved fury, Elder Jiang calmed his aura and beamed off into the sky.

Elder Ouyang turned to me. I thought of thanking her for her kindness, but that thought dissipated the moment I met eyes with her, with her glare that burned with such sunlike fury that I had no choice but to shield my eyes and look away.

"Do not misunderstand, Bai Chunxue," she said calmly. "I did not say that to preserve your life, but rather to preserve the law of the sect. You have thrown mud on the face of our sect, and for that, you will die. I will make sure of it."

She disappeared.

I covered my mouth and smiled.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

In one month, they would expel me from the sect.

In one month, I would be free.

In one month, my revenge would be over, and my life would begin!

A giddy feeling flit around through my limbs, and I wanted to jump for joy, though I could not, because people were watching. So I walked forth towards the other end of the Central Theatre with a spring in my step, and Bailian walked by my side, waving to the crowd.

"Bai Chunxue, are you going to kill Elder Jiang too?" someone called out.

"Speak of Cao Cao, and Cao Cao is there!" Bailian shouted back.

"Lady Long, was this all part of your plan?" someone else called out.

"The grandeur of Mount Tai cannot be perceived but from precisely one hundred li away!" Bailian shouted back.

"What are you going to do to the Bai family now?" some else called out.

"Senior, I cannot answer this for you," Bailian whispered to me.

I nodded, and with an ear-splitting smile, shouted, "An elephant does not think to crush an ant!"

Yes, it was great to wield power, to have all these people look up to me with respect, with fear! It felt great, and yet even then, it was not what I really wanted. What I wanted most was to give it all up and leave the jianghu. That was the only future I wished for!

----------------------------------------

After seeing Bailian off, I returned to my house— the old shabby one, because there were some things I had to take up to the new one. But before packing up, I wanted to take a breather. I sat back on my chair and sighed breathlessly.

"Natsuki..."

She emerged from the shadow, something like a smile on her face.

"It seems like you have finally found your way out."

"Yeah!" I smiled eagerly. "In a month, they'll expel me from the sect. Then I can go to the Imperial University and become a scholar!"

Natsuki nodded— and then furrowed her brow.

"Wang Wujiu will not leave secluded cultivation until Long Guoqiang perishes, which should be in forty-nine days. Will you stay to finish your feud with her?"

I was still unsure if I could kill her. Sure, I had power, but I still could not get past those eyes, those eyes only ever looking far into the distance. That part of me had not changed. But—

"It doesn't matter anymore. If I can actually become a scholar, then the loose ends of my revenge don't matter. When I leave this city, I'll just forget about all of them."

Natsuki nodded. "That is wise. Of all that one can accomplish in a limited lifetime, revenge is the least productive. If there is something else you can do, you ought do it." She paused, then tilted her head in the other direction. "But what of the Bai family? I doubt you will have the choice of whether or not to deal with them."

I exhaled sharply. This question... I was not sure how to answer it.

"I feel like... if I can prove my worth at the Imperial University, they'll let things go. Even during the duel, the patriarch said..."

My voice trailed off. Somehow it felt like I was lying as I said that. Sure, the patriarch had said that things might have been different if I had had power from the start. But was that really true? After all, from the start I had been skilled in all that that makes a great scholar, and yet the family had not permitted me to become a scholar. I had had ability. All that I had not had... was power.

—"And what if they do not let things go? What if they insist on keeping you caged here? Will you kill them to break yourself free?"

"I..."

I held my head in my hands. Kill them? How could I kill them? How could I kill them, when... when...

"—They're my family."

I heard no response, and when enough time had passed that I thought Natsuki might have disappeared again into the shadow, she finally sighed and muttered,

"It is impossible to kill family. This is my understanding of what normal humans believe. However, the laws of the jianghu are different. Here... life weighs far less."

"Then... what should I do?"

Natsuki stepped forward.

"You once offered me the souls of all the Bai clan in exchange for your revenge, so somewhere deep inside you, you must understand that the relationship you believe you are owed by blood does not exist in your heart— and I can assure you that it does not exist in theirs, otherwise I would have taken their souls. When you understand this fact on three levels— not only subconsciously, but also rationally and emotionally— then you will be able to kill them without regret, and you will have nothing to fear."

I looked up at her. She was standing over me, frowning slightly, the way she had frowned on that day we had first properly met, though now I could see the proper form of the white rings in her narrowed eyes, though now fed upon the blood of those I had killed, her face was suffuse with color.

"I... I don't think I can do that. At the end of the day they're family, and family is... absolute."

Her frown deepened. "If you were placed in a situation where you had to choose between killing them and yourself dying, which would you choose?"

I turned my gaze down once more.

"They wouldn't..."

No. Perhaps they would. After all, why did they set up that duel with the Long family? From their perspective, the only possible outcome had been my death. But even then... even then...! Even then I still believed that with time, all of it could be fixed! With time, I could prove my worth! With time, they would come to recognize me! As long as death did not intervene, time would resolve our problems!

Yet that was not an answer to her question.

I sighed, and I could not finish a response.