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Butterfly Heights
Chapter 8 - Is It Worth It to Chase After Your Dreams?

Chapter 8 - Is It Worth It to Chase After Your Dreams?

3 years ago

Ah, what should I read now? I feel like I’ve read almost every single shojo manga possible! Now I’m so bored… Ugh! Wait… Why not try to make my own? I mean, I find drawing fun, and I don’t really have anything to do this summer break…

Few days later

And done! I’m finally done with the first chapter! Just a few more clicks and publish! Now I’m gonna start making the second chapter!

Few hours later

Ugh! I can’t think of the next scene!!

Suddenly, I heard a ding sound coming from my phone. I opened it and saw a notification from my Twitter. It was a DM from the username “Kotoneko”.

Kotoneko?? I don’t think I know anyone with the username “Kotoneko”…

Opens profile

This Kotoneko seems to be a mangaka… They said, “Hi!! I know that this may sound creepy or weird, but I just want to say that I really love your new debut manga. It’s so good, especially for the first chapter of a debut manga. Keep up the good work!!! I’m looking forward to the next chapter!!”. Hmmm… Should I respond?? Eh, whatever happens, I won’t reveal to her my details, and besides, that’s my mangaka account. She can’t find anything related to me, only manga stuff.

Since then, I continued making manga and kept in touch with Kotoneko. Apparently, Kotoneko’s real name is Kotone Yuki. She also goes to my school, and we’re around the same age.

Several weeks later

This day officially marks the end of summer break. As usual, the halls of Takaju Academy were as busy as it gets. I walked towards my classroom and entered the room filled with cheers and chatter of my classmates. There she was, Koto-chan, who is sitting right behind me. I walked towards our assigned seats and turned around to face her. She had long pink hair, her bangs swept to the side, with purple eyes complementing her hair, and her cheeks were flushed. I was over the moon, as this was the first time I’ve ever seen her after we became friends. “Koto-chan! It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other!”

She averted her gaze and said, “Yeah…” She went through her bag and took out a little keychain of a black-haired girl from my favorite manga. “Uhh, I saw this at the bookstore yesterday, and it reminded me of you… Y-you can have it!”

My heart warmed at her gesture. “Thanks, Koto-chan!" Just then, three girls went up to me. One of them had long, red hair; the other had blue hair with curls at the end, and the other one had brunette hair. The brunette had a smile on her face. “Fuyuki-chan! We’ve been looking for you.”

I played with my hair and said, “Sorry about that…”

All four of us continued to talk while Koto-chan just watched us. I gave her a warm smile and continued chatting with Kaede-chan and the others.

Few days later

I saw a pink-haired girl being pinned to the wall. She was surrounded by a group of girls. One of them took her notebook.

“Heh, let’s see… Oh, shy girl, is a mangaka creating cringeworthy stuff? Hahahaha, how pathetic.” The other girls laughed with her. “How are you not ashamed of yourself for making these? Oh wait, you can’t even talk properly without looking people in the eye.”

They all laughed even harder. The pink-haired girl desperately tried to reach for her notebook, but the girls passed it around. “Oh, we’re not done with you…”

“Please, give it back!” The girl pleaded. The girl holding the notebook then decided to rip some of the pages. The pink-haired girl’s eyes widened. “Stop! Those are important!”

They all laughed in unison. “And why should we care, huh?”

The pink-haired girl desperately pleaded. “Please, those are very important to me.”

I watched in horror. Seeing Koto-chan get bullied for making manga shattered my heart into pieces.

I… how could they! Koto-chan didn’t even do anything wrong. So what if she writes manga!? It’s not cringeworthy; she’s an amazing mangaka and a sweet girl at heart! But I can’t make myself move… I…

My thoughts were disrupted by my friends. “Heh, that’s what she gets for being a weeb," the brunette said.

“What’s wrong with making manga?”

“Oh? So you’re defending her now?”

“No, I meant-”

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“What, you’re joining this loser now?”

I sighed. “No…”

•••

As soon as I got home, I logged onto Twitter and texted Koto-chan.

Fuyuki: “Koto-chan, are you okay??”

Kotone: “Those popular girls ripped pages of my notebook where I made the next chapter. I didn’t even do anything to them”

Fuyuki: “Seriously though, what’s wrong with making manga”

Kotone: “Be honest, Fuyuki, do you actually find it cringe?”

Fuyuki: “Of course not! I mean, if I did, would I be making manga”

Kotone: “Fair point, but honestly, I’m thinking of stopping”

Fuyuki: “What? Don’t let them get into you”

Kotone: “I don’t know anymore”

Fuyuki: “Listen, why did you decide to make manga”

Kotone: “Because it allows me to express myself, while at the same time, I can make people happy”

Fuyuki: “If that’s the case, then what about your fans? Are you just going to leave them behind because of some mean girls?”

Kotone: “You’re right, Fuyuki. Why should I stop because of them”

Fuyuki: “That’s the spirit”

Ah, if only I was able to defend her…

•••

While me and the girls were having our lunch, a group of girls were gathered around Koto-chan while she was eating.

“Ah, there’s our shy dork!” The other girls held onto her wrists as their leader threw Koto-chan’s food.

“Hey!”

"Oh, is the little shy girl gonna fight back now?” Her voice was menacing.

“For fighting back, you’re gonna have to eat it on the floor like a puppy.” The leader crossed her arms and smirked.

Koto-chan’s eyes widened in terror, and the other girls pushed her to the ground without letting go of their hold. “I-”

Just then, a teacher was seen walking around. The bullies glared at her before releasing her. "Oh, you’re lucky; next time, fate won’t be this generous, got it.”

With that, the bullies left. My friends all laughed at the sight, while I was left speechless.

“Too bad the teacher came; it would’ve been entertaining to see her eat it from the floor," the readhead snickered.

I-I… Koto-chan… is it even worth it to continue making manga? Seeing you get mercilessly bullied over this… should I even continue? I… I’m too scared; I can’t bring myself to let go of Kaede-chan and the others. I feel like suffocating over the thought, but seeing them laugh at you… I… I don’t know anymore! What’s even the right thing to do!? I… I have an idea!

“I’ll be going to the bathroom for a moment.” With that, I went to the main library’s cafe to buy food for Koto-chan. That way, Kaede-chan and the others won’t get mad at me while Koto-chan gets to eat.

After a while, I arrived at the cafeteria and went up to Koto-chan in a subtle way and gave her the food I bought. I went up to my friends and continued eating with them. I couldn’t help but stare at her, and she seemed to have noticed. We locked eyes for a few moments before we both averted our gaze while our cheeks were flushed.

•••

At the library, while me and my friends were studying, I saw Koto-chan, who seems to be doodling something. It didn’t take a while for a group of girls to come. As usual, the leader grabbed her notebook from her.

“Fuyuki❤️Kotone… Ooooh, so our shy girl is not only delusional but isn’t even a proper girl, and to think that the Fuyuki Furukawa, the prettiest girl in school, and the daughter of Prime Minister Furukawa, would ever like YOU of all people? And you didn’t even address her with her surname, but you went on and used her first name. Girl, you need a reality check.” The leader of the girls smirked. Koto-chan looked at them with her lifeless and soulless eyes and didn’t mutter a single word.

“Let me get this straight. Girls should only date boys, not fellow females, got it.” Koto-chan just stared at them.

“You know what? This is getting pretty boring. Girls, let’s go and spice things up.” The girls gave the notebook back as the leader had a mischevious grin while walking away.

I just watched the scene unfold without doing anything to stop it.

Ah, I can’t even do anything to save Koto-chan… I’m still acting like the coward I am… You can’t even save the person you love… Wait… love??? But I only see her as a friend… Whatever… I know that the right thing to do is to defend Koto-chan, but no. I still continued doing nothing. What a friend am I? I can’t even do anything to help her…

•••

Since that day, Koto-chan has been completely isolated from our peers. She would always be mocked for her sexuality and for making manga, while I did absolutely nothing but watch her worsen.

On Twitter

Fuyuki: “Koto-chan, how are you feeling?”

Kotone: “Ah, feelings… dear Fuyuki, it’s been a while since I’ve last felt such things”

Fuyuki: “Wdym??”

Kotone: “Fuyuki, thanks for being there for me. I really do appreciate it, but it’s not enough”

Kotone: “Btw, I quit making manga”

I could help but sigh.

I guess this is the day, huh? I mean, is there even a point to continue when all you get is being ridiculed? Even I’m contemplating whether I should stop too…

Fuyuki: “Well, if that’s your choice, then I’m not stopping you”

Kotone: “When the day comes, don’t stop”

Fuyuki: “Huh???”

Kotone: “You’ll eventually know when the time comes”

Kotone: “Don’t let your talent go to waste. I’m sure that you’ll make it big”

Fuyuki: “Koto-chan, what are you saying??”

Kotone: “I’m sure that you’ve heard about the fact that I like you. The thing is, it’s true, and I don’t regret falling for you. Whether or not you like me back, I just wanna say that it was nice meeting you.”

That was the last message that I’ve received from her.

I sent her countless messages and called her numerous times, but never got a response. This made me decide to go to her house. It didn’t take a while for me to arrive at her place. I got out of my car and rang the doorbell. The door was opened by an old lady wearing a maid outfit. She greeted me with a smile and said, “Are you Fuyuki?”

As my mind was still filled with worry, I answered the old lady with, “Yes, can you lead me towards her room?”

“Why yes!”

So many what-ifs came to my mind as we walked towards her room. Out of all the what-ifs, the worst one happened. Inside her room was her lifeless body, with pills scattered around her bed. I stood there motionless. Tears flowed uncontrollably on my face. I went up to her lifeless body and shaken it as hard as I possibly could.

“Koto-chan! Koto-chan! This is just a silly prank, right? You’re not dead, you’re not…” I shook her even harder.

“Koto-chan! Please wake up! This isn’t funny. Please!”

All hope that I had was lost. I stopped shaking her body and my tears continued flowing.

“Koto-chan, I’m sorry! I should’ve not been a coward. I should’ve defended you! I… KOTO-CHAN!!”

This is all my fault. If I only defended her and didn’t watch like a coward. You killed her, Fuyuki! You killed her! And now she’ll never come back! You’ll never see her smile! You’ll never hear her talk! You’ll never be able to feel her warmth! She’ll never be able to know how you feel! That’s right, I’ve probably been into her since the start; I was just being in denial, huh? Well now, I really have no hope. I blew my shot and let her get hurt. Great. I mean, I don’t really deserve her. She’s way too good for me. Should I even continue making manga? My first love literally died because of it. She died because of manga… and me…

Her final words echoed in my mind.

“When the day comes, don’t stop”

“Don’t let your talent go to waste. I’m sure that you’ll make it big”

I guess I will, Koto-chan, but only because you want me to continue. Seriously though, the only thing that manga does to people is hurt them, not make them happy. I will never lose someone over manga ever again.