I wonder how Fuyuki has been doing…
Just as I was about to pack my things, our teacher made an announcement.
“Takahashi-san, please stay after dismissal.”
A wave of confusion hit me
Eh? I don’t think I did anything that’s against school policy… I hope I’m not getting in trouble…
As soon as it was only me and the teacher left in the room, I went up to her and said, “Sensei, did I do anything wrong?”
She shook her head, but the concerned expression never left. “Don’t worry, Takahashi-san. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that I’m getting worried for Furukawa-san. She hasn’t gone to school for about a month, and she has never been absent before…”
I scratched my nape and responded. “I’m not too sure either…”
All of my messages to her in the past month have all been left at delivered, and each time I try to go to her house, they would say that she’s currently not allowing visitors… Think Chizuru, think!!!
The teacher smiled at me. “Just let me know if you have updates on her condition.”
I nodded. “I will, sensei.”
With that, she dismissed me.
•••
I was plopped onto the bed, staring at the blank canvas in my sight. Empty potato chip bags and iced coffee cans were scattered around my wooden table. I took a sip of iced coffee and realized that it was empty. I let out a deep sigh.
Really now? Whatever... I’ll just get some another time…
Suddenly, I heard a knock on my door. She said, “Fuyuki-sama, your lunch is ready!”
I could barely force myself to talk. “Just leave it out there.”
I don’t wanna eat… Sigh… Oh, I actually haven’t opened my phone for a while…
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I looked for my phone over the trash that had accumulated on my desk. It took me a few minutes to find it. When I checked it, my notifications were filled with messages from LINE, specifically from Chizuru-chan, or, should I say, Chi-chan.
Oh, it’s from her of all people… whatever…
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. I didn’t bother to read the messages and continued staring at the ceiling.
Ugh, what does that traitor want? I really was an idiot to believe that she genuinely cared about me. Who would’ve thought that she was the first ever person to abandon me… Promised to me that she'd always be by my side, and then the next day, she was nowhere to be seen? Do my feelings look like a sick joke to her? Well now, I know that the only person who truly cared was Koto-chan. The one who left because of my cowardice…
I desperately looked for the keychain through the trash on my table. It didn’t take a while for me to find it, but now, trash can be seen everywhere in my room. I clung onto it like my life depended on it.
Koto-chan, I was foolish enough to believe that someone would care about me like you did. I was stupid enough to trust her! I was so stupid to think that anyone would care about someone like me, someone who’s a dumb mangaka! I’m just a hopeless idiot who’s naive enough to think that anyone would ever care.
I bet that even if I die, no one would bat an eye. It would only be 1 person who disappeared out of the trillions of people on this planet. Losing a single person won’t have an effect. I should’ve done this a long time ago. That way, I wouldn’t have to prolong this misery anymore. Living in this planet has become extremely unbearable. I mean, what’s the point of life? To make you endlessly suffer until you finally meet your doom? Is this some kind of sadistic joke? Well, most people might choose to endure it but I’m no masochist.
My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. I decided to pick my phone up from the dirtied pink carpet. It was from my editor.
Ugh, her again? Why won’t she just stop bothering me every single day? She’s so persistent! Does she not know what an indefinite hiatus means? I have no plans to continue being a dumb mangaka!
My thoughts were interrupted again by someone knocking on my door.
“I’m not yet done eating, Shizuka!”
The person responded. It was a familiar voice, a voice I came to despise. Despite all this, I couldn’t help but feel a warm sensation in my stomach.
“It’s me, Chizuru!” Her voice was desperate.
Something in me snapped.
“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, WILL YOU? I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN, GOT IT?”
The girl didn’t respond.
•••
This was the first time I’ve ever heard her raise her voice. The radiant Fuyuki I’ve come to know was slowly turning into this irritable and reclusive shadow of her former self.
I should just give up. I mean, she clearly hates me and doesn’t want to see me. After all, how could she forgive me for leaving her? In her eyes, I’m someone who can’t keep her promise. I should just go.
I started to walk away from her doorstep. Memories of my last conversation with Kobayashi-san made me halt.
“Don’t ever get tired of checking up on her, even if it feels like she’ll never open up. She needs all the support she can get.“
No, no, no, you promised Kobayashi-san that you’ll never give up on her, no matter what happens. She’s just going through a rough time in her life. She needs all the support she can get, not for everyone to turn their back on her. This is the perfect opportunity for you to be able to prove yourself to her, that you will always be by her side. Don’t give up on her.
Wait… I have an idea!
•••
Few days later
When the girl didn’t respond, the warm sensation in my stomach left, making it the last emotion I’ve ever felt.
All I could do was stare at the blank ceiling. No matter how hard I try to force my body to move, it simply won’t. After some struggling, I was able to shift my position in the bed and lay on my side. It gave me a clear view of my room, which was filled with trash on the floor. Something caught my eye. On my study/drawing table that hasn’t been touched for more than a month, there was a pair of pink scissors lying around. The once-lost motivation to move returned in an instant.