Helplessness

“Thank you for covering for me, Admiral,” Kristel said, barely conscious in her bed.

By the time she resurfaced from the nightmare, the familiar view of her minimalist bedroom felt foreign and did nothing to help her panic attack. It took everyone a good minute or two to help her calm down.

“Don’t worry about it, Princess. Rest well. We can delay one more day before we set off for Central.”

The Princess shook her head listlessly. “It doesn’t make any difference if we delay. Besides, we have better facilities there. If I’m not fine by tomorrow, I can rest there instead.”

Admiral Garm paused and considered, understanding Kristel’s argument. He nodded hesitantly. “Alright. Just rest for now. Frill, please send me some tea later when you have the time. I’ll be in my office.”

Frill bowed wordlessly.

With the Admiral gone, Kristel turned to her retainer. “Sorry.”

The Aria’s hand slowly moved aside the azure strands covering her forehead. “I should’ve noticed. I got…distracted.”

“We have a plan,” Frein said. He had been silent the entire time, waiting for the people to settle down. “I don’t think we can afford to wait anymore.”

“What plan?” Frill asked.

“I think it’s better if less people know,” he implied.

“But I’m—”

“Please, Frein,” Kristel interrupted. “I’m sure you can trust Frill. I can vouch for her. You can vouch for her, right?” She turned to Katherine who had been leaning at her door, making sure no one was eavesdropping. “Please?”

The two looked at each other for only a brief moment before Frein sighed. “Alright.”

Elizzel appeared beside him as if she had been there the entire time. Her sudden appearance caused the Aria to be on-guard, but she didn’t say anything. It helped that the faunel looked harmless at first glance. Kristel appreciated Frill’s reaction, but she held her hand to make sure she didn’t unnecessarily escalate the situation.

“This is Elizzel,” Frein introduced. “She’s a faunel. You probably remember her as that Forest Jaws that brought us back to the Vanguard.”

Frill scrutinized the small faunel. “You look like…”

“The second Monarch, yes. It’s a long story.” Elizzel made a curtsy. “I know this is very sudden, but please, keep my existence a secret. Exposing myself to more than just the Visitor is already a risk for me.”

“We can trust you with this, right, Frill?” Kristel asked. She was already sure what her retainer would say, but voicing it out would help convince the faunel easier.

“Yes. If you can help the Princess, I’ll do anything you want.”

“First of all,” Frein started, “don’t ever make a promise like that again. And yes, she’s here to help her.”

“Okay,” Frill reluctantly agreed. “So, what’s the plan?”

“We need you, Kristel, to fall back to sleep. Eli and I will accompany you this time. Then we’ll deal with your nightmares. Keep them at bay.”

“Keep them at bay?” Kristel asked. “You can’t get rid of them?”

“No.” Frein looked at her with a pair of black, stern eyes. “Ultimately, this is your problem. Only you can help yourself. But until you’re ready to face your fears on your own, we’ll help. Do you understand?”

The underlying reasons behind his words weren’t lost on Kristel. She was looking for an easy way out. Frein, now that she understood him better, would never give her that.

“Yes, I understand.”

“Good. Now, you still have some of that tea, Frill? The one you used on Maffelyne and the others?”

“Yes, but,” Frill paused, her eyes looking concerned for Kristel. “Can’t I go with you?”

“Sorry,” Elizzel replied. “I’d bring you if I could. But Tethering with multiple people at once is too risky.”

Deflated, the Aria stood. “Alright, I’ll go make the tea.”

Frein stopped her midstride. “Hey, don’t accidentally give the Admiral the wrong one, alright?”

Frill smiled only slightly from the jest. “I might need one myself tonight. Lor didn’t replenish our stocks before he left…” She caught herself getting distracted and turned to bow. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Katherine stepped aside and opened the door for her. “Don’t worry too much, alright?”

“Thank you.”

With a sigh, the Lady closed the door and turned to the faunel. “So, are you Tethering with Kristel to enter her nightmare?”

“You jealous?” Frein asked.

“I am. Very much. I should be Tethered first before anyone else,” Katherine replied without skipping a beat.

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“Sorry, Katherine. I don’t want to be rude. I can wait.”

“He’s joking, Kristel,” Katherine replied.

“Oh.”

“Are you sure you’re not using Heart’s Will on me?” he asked.

“If she was, I would know,” Elizzel defended her. She crossed her arms and stood beside Katherine. “And to formally answer the question, no, I don’t need to Tether with Kristel to enter her nightmare. Frein just needs to concentrate while holding her meiyal core. But I need to Tether with the people I’m bringing to a Mind Palace.”

Kristel felt a hint of embarrassment surfacing around her neck. Only a hint. She couldn’t afford the energy to be even squirmy about the prospect of a man touching her anywhere near her breasts.

“Well, that’s awkward,” Frein pointed out. “You’re actually blushing.”

“If I see you do as much as take a squeeze, I’m killing you,” Katherine said.

“Oh, you’re actually jealous.”

“Duh!”

“Guys, it’s right above my chest,” Kristel pointed out. “Not on my breast.”

“Don’t give him that excuse, Kristel,” Katherine said, snarling at Frein. “Give him a reason and he’ll chomp at the bit to sexually harass you.”

“No, I don’t! No, I won’t!” Frein almost shouted. “I only do it to you because you’re into it! You treated me like a toy last I remember. Who dry humps like a maniac while in the middle of a fight?”

“Yeah, that was kind of addicting.”

Kristel saw Katherine bite her lip and the two exchanged an intimate stare. She couldn’t help her imagination running wild despite her lethargy, and it felt taxing just thinking about it.

“Guys. I have about a week and a half left before I can legally get married and talk about that stuff. Can you save that for when you two are alone?”

“Oh, do you have someone in mind?” Katherine asked, completely pulling on a tangent.

Kristel felt immediately cornered. Frein seemed interested and even Elizzel was curious.

“No,” she replied. “No time.”

“Hmm…” Katherine mused and Kristel felt even more cornered.

“That’s your ‘I’m obviously considering to use Heart’s Will on you now’ face.” Kristel leered at her.

“Well, I am.”

“Please don’t.”

Katherine narrowed her eyes and considered for a while. “Alright, I won’t.” Frein was audibly disappointed, but he didn’t press the issue.

“In any case,” Kristel started, “you should avoid talking about those things when others are around.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We were just trying to defuse the tension while waiting for your tea,” Frein explained.

“Got a little too into it, I suppose,” Katherine said. “Sorry,” she added in a shy, cutesy way.

“I have to suffer this every night, don’t I?” Elizzel asked.

Before anyone could answer, Frill knocked on the door.

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Frill felt restless. Again, for the third time, she was left alone while those she loved went to venture into the unknown. She looked on helplessly as those who could do something, who could influence a change, made their moves while her legs remained paralyzed with indecision.

“Lady Katherine,” Elizzel started. She embodied a person of knowledge despite her petite form. But somehow, Frill could sense she was also worried. “I need you to remain here until we return. The chance is miniscule at most, but if the Nightmare influence proves to be too much, you might have to fulfill your duty after all.”

What does that mean? “You mean, if you fail, Lady Katherine has to kill her?” Frill asked hastily.

“Not just her,” the faunel implied.

“Alright,” Katherine replied without any hint of hesitation. “But I trust you guys.”

How could she agree to it with a straight face?

The Lady turned to her. Crimson calm eyes hid her worry underneath. “It’ll be alright, Frill. You just have to trust Frein.”

Frill turned to the man who had been Milling with the intensity of a raging current. Through her observation Meiyal Art, he shined like the brightest star as he devoured the meiyal in the entire room and possibly beyond.

“I can’t even quantify it anymore,” she commented.

“Frein came up with a Meiyal Art, Mesiffera. It’s like an empowered version of the observation Meiyal Art. Technically, it should give you more details.” Katherine admired her lover while singing his praises. “We should probably learn that when we have the time.”

“Help me out here, Eli. We should Mill some four-meiyal before we go just in case,” Frein said, briefly opening his eyes. He was absorbed in his task that he didn’t even care if people were talking about him.

“I thought you don’t need to Mill beforehand?” Frill asked him, not minding if she would get ignored.

“Technically, correct. But since we’re entering someone else’s Mind Palace, meiyal might work differently,” he explained while resuming his Milling. “We don’t want to accidentally deprive Kristel of her own meiyal while we’re inside her Dream.”

There was an irony in his brightness now. A darkness so bright, it was like staring at nothing. Frill had to erase her Meiyal Art.

“It’s not something I’ve fully explored on my own,” Elizzel commented, her voice echoing from within Frein. “So it’s better to be prepared since we can afford it.”

“What’s this four-meiyal?” Frill asked, but Frein had already zoned out everything else.

Katherine answered for him. “It’s four types of meiyal: his, Brymeia’s, the Emerald Guidance’s, and Eli’s.”

“He integrated with Emerald Guidance?”

The Lady then proceeded to recount to Frill the events that happened during their time in the edge of the Nightmare Lands. How Elizzel offered help. How the faunel could help Frein bypass the meiyal-charged material restrictions. How they got ambushed by a Deep Nightmare. She even showed her scar that ran from underneath her chest down and across to her pelvic bone.

“I didn’t know… how?”

“How I’m still alive?” Katherine inquired with a smile while gesturing over to Frein. “He gave me his four-meiyal. I don’t think you’ve experienced how integration with a meiyal-charged material enhances your Meiyal Arts to incredible levels yet, so I’m not exactly sure if I can explain to you the difference. But the amplification from four-meiyal is quite surreal. It’s like exploring the irony or extremes of a Meiyal Art in a sense. Wonder if it can go five and beyond…”

“Milling it is a hassle, though,” Frein said as he breathed out, breaking his concentration. “Pressing four sources together so that they all combine as a single entity isn’t exactly something I can do on the fly like the common two-meiyal. Eli has to help me out for that.”

“We’re ready. We just have to wait for her to have a nightmare,” Elizzel echoed.

But Kristel slumbered like a log. No signs of a nightmare at all.

“If she doesn’t get one tonight, that’ll be quite the irony,” Frein pointed out. “I might need some coffee.”

“Maybe the tea helped her out?” Frill asked.

“If so, then we should just give her some to help her sleep.”

“Guys, quiet,” Katherine hissed and gestured towards the Princess.

Kristel stirred about. Her face frowned and pained moans escaped her lips. She tossed and turned and her breathing began to drag. She kept mumbling incoherent whispers, shouting some of them in a fit of panic.

Frill caught the Visitor’s stare just before he turns to Katherine. “Well, here goes nothing.”

Frein gently placed a hand on Kristel’s meiyal core. Frill could tell he was being careful about it, enough that he angled himself awkwardly just so there would be no chance for him to even accidentally touch the Princess inappropriately.

She kept her observation Meiyal Art active to see what was going on. Frein and Kristel’s meiyal cores lit up, and a sort of link connected the two. It looked similar to a meiyal fusion, but Frein didn’t glow and turn into pure meiyal. Instead, he lost consciousness and collapsed beside the Princess.

Frill tried to move the Visitor to a more comfortable angle, but his hand remained fixed on top of Kristel’s meiyal core. She gave up after that.

“Hey,” Katherine said, motioning for another chair beside her. “You up for a chat? I could use more of that non-sleeping tea.”

“I’d love that,” Frill replied. “Let me bring some to your father first.”

“Alright. I’m not going anywhere.”

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