Choices of One Who Climbs Mountains

> ”No. She’s the only reason I came to this world.” ~Frein Nivan

Frein refused countless times when Kristel offered to guide him around Atlas Sid. The Princess wanted to offer thanks in exchange for all the ideas and concepts he gave her regarding the Perpetual-Layered Milling Form. She looked just as astonished by the fact that meiyal could be squeezed down into thin layers to fill a meiyal mark, providing an illusion of an infinite vessel.

“Sorry, Princess, but Katherine’s the only reason why I’m here.” Frein gazed upon the Lady of the Void. The love of his life, the only one that mattered. There were fewer contraptions attached to her now. As promised, a healer regularly checked in on them and provided medicine for her. It was usually Jo’war, but sometimes, it was someone else.

Frein had forgotten how many times he had to apologize for being somewhat hostile to strangers. He didn’t like it either, but he couldn’t suppress his protective instinct.

Tests were also done on him, but they all returned inconclusive—whatever it was they were trying to find out. As far as results were concerned, there was nothing special about him.

“You haven’t left this room for two days,” Kristel insisted.

“Someone’s been visiting during the night. Whenever we’re asleep,” Frein said, ignoring the Princess’s persistence.

“That would be Garm Militia, Katherine’s father,” she replied before taking a step back. “Wait. You said you’re asleep.”

“Enza told me.” As if on cue, the invisible yuma made herself known, tapping a soft paw on the Princess’s leg. Kristel brushed her hand on the invisible paw and instinctively reached out for the yuma’s face.

“How long has she been in Nature’s Favor?” Without Enza in sight, she asked Frein instead.

“Turns out, the Blessing won’t demand too much meiyal as long as she keeps still. She’s been like this ever since we got to Atlas Sid, she said.”

“This feels a little weird.”

“Right.” When Kristel’s facial expression—despite all the distractions he threw at her—didn’t change, still adamant on insisting on her offer, Frein shifted tactics. “How’s your Milling?” he asked.

“A little improvement, thanks to your advice. That’s why I—”

“Show me.”

Backed into a corner, the Princess started to Mill. She performed it with a loose posture, standing and relaxing. She quickly grew tired. Clicking her tongue in frustration, Kristel planted herself down on the floor and closed her eyes.

Frein Drew Mesiffera.

Kristel’s Gathering was like any other average high-level Meiyal Arts practitioner. Almost on par with Katherine before she retrained herself to Gather with as much greed and abandon as Frein himself. For the Princess, this was a thing she should quickly rectify, but not something she could do right now, given how close they were to the recovering Lady of the Void. Katherine needed all the meiyal she could get.

Kristel’s Milling was…cringeworthy at best. Embarrassing, awkward, inconsistent. A symptom cultivated through generations of what modern practitioners knew of their Meiyal Arts. Too traditionalist. Too old. Too respectful.

There wasn’t even any need to misdirect her at this point. He could give her pointers for days, and it wouldn’t matter unless she at least changed her mindset.

Frein sat opposite Kristel and waited for her to finish. At the very least, she was doing her best not to revert her Milling form to the simpler options, though at the end of it, she barely Milled five percent of what she Gathered. The rest dispersed out of her body. And the yield was…acceptable at best.

Frein didn’t have to say anything when the Princess opened her eyes, disappointed at herself.

“Imagine a mountain,” Frein began, not caring whether the Princess wanted to protest or not. “A mountain so high, so full of dangers that people who climb them are called insane. Imagine that particular mass of land is the Meiyal Arts discipline and the climbers are its practitioners.”

“But we can use Meiyal Arts,” Kristel retorted. “We can climb mountains easily.”

Frein felt a hint of sarcasm dripping out of his lips, but held himself before it was too late. The Princess had a valid reason to be lost in this analogy.

“Imagine how hard it would be to climb without Meiyal Arts,” he corrected. “How high you climb represents your stage in this discipline, your level of expertise. We all start at the bottom, but some may be fortunate enough to begin a little higher. But the goal remains the same: climb to the peak.

“Each road a practitioner takes may be different, or it may be the same as the one that came before. How often you climb, how fast you climb depends on you as the practitioner. People would even make roads, reform a part of the mountain to make it easier for the next generation of climbers to reach the same height for significantly less time. Those that took the easy road will quickly find themselves missing something.”

“The perseverance you develop from climbing,” she said.

Frein was glad the Princess caught on the analogy easily. “Correct. Whatever road you choose, they lead towards the peak. But here’s the catch: the paved road only leads halfway. The mountain is too stubborn, too demanding the rest of the journey. You have no choice but to climb on your own. But climb you do, because you want to be stronger.”

“So, that’s what I have to do? Climb on my own?” Kristel said, still disappointed but with a little more determination. “I know I’m asking a lot but—”

“No, you don’t understand, Princess Kristel.” Frein stared at her eyes to emphasize his next words. “You’re on the wrong mountain.”

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“What?” Kristel felt she was on the precipice of discovering a certain enlightenment. She understood Frein’s analogy, except the final part. It felt a little too jarring.

Frein smiled. The Princess could tell he was getting fired up.

“All schools of thought can be represented with a mountain. Even something like Meiyal Arts can be taught multiple different ways, leading to more mountains. The thing is, each of these mountains have different peaks, different heights. One is always higher than the other.

“Between the mountain you’re on and the one Katherine and I are on, which one do you think is higher?”

Kristel knew what Frein was trying to imply, so she skipped the answer and formulated her counterargument. “What makes you certain yours is higher?”

“Good point.” Frein nodded in agreement. “I can only really discern things from experiences that I’ve gathered and read about. For the record, I rely more on personal experience, but I won’t discard records either. The thing is, it’s all a matter of perspective. In front of you are two undeniable pieces of evidence that prove that the peak of our mountain is higher. Is it conclusive? Time will tell, I guess.”

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

The Visitor crossed his arms and exhaled. “Really, this is just a very roundabout way of me saying that, if you want to Mill like we do, you have to start climbing our mountain.” He shrugged.

Kristel realized what those words meant. “You want me to start from scratch?”

He nodded once. “Far worse. This is a decision you have to make on your own, Kristel. It’s a very excruciating process. Even through this path, the mountain analogy still works. You can’t just jump down and fall. That’ll basically kill off any hopes of learning anything properly. You have to climb down, slowly get rid of your old habits, forcefully forget anything you’ve learned. And once you have a clean slate, you can start climbing again.

“But I can’t tell you which is the right thing to do. We all climb in different ways, at different speeds. You might be better off climbing the one you’re on now.”

“Years of practice, training, and studies…you’re saying they’re useless?” Kristel felt a tinge of anger, but she allowed her reason to tame it. Frein wasn’t someone who took effort for granted. In her view, he was the epitome of it.

“No, of course not. You’re not making a new climber, Kristel. You’re just switching mountains. Whatever foundations you already have, you still keep.”

Frein’s brows curled to a frown. “Okay, I admit that last part’s a little confusing. But you get what I mean. If you keep relying on your old ways, your old traditions, the way you were meant to Gather and Mill, you won’t be Milling or Gathering the way I do, the way Katherine does.

“Be greedy, Kristel. Take everything your meiyal system can Gather. Don’t take just enough so you can start Milling. Fill it to the brim and Mill as hard as you can. Mill as many as you can. Don’t think about how much you’re wasting, or if your opponents will wait for you.”

Each word was blasphemous to her ears, but he was right. The way Frein Milled was considered rude, but looking at it closely, there was no universal law saying that he shouldn’t. No karmic cycle would lead to his punishment for Gathering and Milling his way. It was rude because society said it was. She was brainwashed by it. No better time to change than right here, right now.

Kristel closed her eyes and tried again.

“No, please stop,” Frein interrupted her. “Not here. I’m not saying that you can’t do it on your first try, but in the off-chance that you manage to do it, you might suffocate Katherine. She needs the meiyal around here.”

“Right,” Kristel said, controlling her excitement. “I noticed that when you were Milling.”

The thought brought to her an idea. “Let’s—”

“No,” Frein said, smiling. He read her like a book. “Sorry, I can’t leave Kat. Unlike meiyal-charged materials, there’s no harm in practicing this on your own. You can feel your own Art fatigue approaching, so stop when you feel tired. You can always come back here and show me your results if you want.”

She threw up her arms and gave up. “Okay. Fine. We’re arriving in the Flat Lands tomorrow. If you want me to bring you a blindfold so you don’t accidentally see any detail or landmark in Atlas Sid, let me know.”

“Katherine should be fine by tonight,” he said. It sounded ominous.

“What do you mean?”

He just smiled. Kristel had a notion of what was to happen. Despite Jo’war’s insistence, Frein still considered providing Katherine his own four-meiyal. He had been hard at work Milling it. Fortunately enough, Elizzel’s and the Emerald Guidance’s meiyal didn’t behave the same way Brymeia’s did. For those two types, there were no dispersion time limits, as if they were his own.

“You that sure it would work?” she asked.

“Positive,” he replied. “I’m going to give her the same amount as last time. I can’t believe it took me two days to Mill this much on my own. But Elizzel’s still asleep.”

“Maybe something’s wrong with her? You did try to Gather an Exhibit together.”

“No, she warned me about it. Faunel transformation is taxing, unless she was able to accumulate enough meiyal beforehand. But Letterman asked her to do something else, remember? Elizzel was kind enough to help us out, so I didn’t want to bother her unless it’s absolutely necessary. She said she might need to sleep for a few days.”

The mention of Letterman reminded her of that time. She also remembered that Frein still didn’t know about it. She felt conscious of the Visitor’s eyes, and she knew he could tell she was thinking about it. Eyes too inquisitive he could almost rip out the answers by himself.

No harm in sharing. “When we were fighting the Forest Jaws, someone saved my life.”

Frein was kind enough to give an interested expression. Kristel found the sarcastic gesture exhausting.

“It’s the Letterman.” It became the name they eventually assigned to this mysterious person. Apparently, Frein decided to give a more endearing nickname.

“Did you see what he looked like?” Frein asked. They also just agreed to refer to him as male, but in truth they still didn’t know anything about this person. As expected, she didn’t have to answer. “No, huh…”

Kristel shook her head. “He gave me something, though. A meiyal-charged material. Forced me to Gather it.”

“And you don’t know what it is.”

She shook her head again. “I’ve been meaning to ask if you can convince Elizzel to take a look at it for me. I’ve been afraid to look.”

“I guess I can try waking her up. It has been a while.” Frein frowned. “Why, though?”

Kristel felt satisfied that she actually piqued Frein’s interest this time and decided to push a little further. “My Exhibit is…a little scary.”

“Interesting…” Frein was in deep thought. “I’ll let you know when she wakes up.”

Kristel couldn’t determine what he was thinking, but no doubt he was storing this information somewhere. He had read every book he could find, investigated every concept no matter how trivial or irrelevant they might seem in the first place. The Meiyal Weaving from a few days back got him interested the most, until he found out the resources he would need to invest to learn it, but he never took anything for granted.

Even the first edition of The Artistic Meiyal didn’t escape his interest and he finished the entire tome in one evening. Not to mention the research about meiyal resuscitation that Jo’war spoke about, which he devoured in an afternoon tea.

But with every book he finished, his sighs and disappointment only worsened. He would close the book and always say, “Still nothing.”

“What are you trying to look for?” Kristel asked, abruptly changing the subject of their conversation. Without a hint of confusion, Frein replied right away.

“Clues.”

“For what?”

“Why there has to be a Visitor.”

“Oh…” Kristel realized how much she had taken Frein for granted. “I didn’t think about that.”

He just smiled. “It’s why I don’t bother asking. Right after I arrived, every person I meet who finds out that I’m the Visitor only looks at me with pity and understanding. That quickly tells me that they only know I’m about to die. They don’t know why I have to die, or why I chose to in the first place. They simply accept and move on.”

“But you didn’t ask them.”

“I did at first, but no one knows anything. You sure as hell don’t.”

Kristel shrugged and shook her head, accepting his point. “Yeah, I don’t.”

“Only four people so far have had any significant connection to the Visitor. Katherine, Schrodie, Elizzel, and Rindea.

“Schrodie knows why I have to be here, but refuses to tell me. She says I have to discover it on my own so that I make my own decisions. Which is fair. Katherine is connected somehow, but we’re both not sure exactly what it is, except for the fact that she brought me here.

“Elizzel’s here to help me, but her memories about Visitors are gone. She’s basically just acting based on her nature as a faunel. Rindea’s probably the most involved. She told me I have to find something, but I can only find it if I can take a Glimpse Through Destiny.”

“What does that mean?” Kristel asked.

It was Frein’s turn to shrug. “Beats me. The more solid clue I got from her is that another faunel was involved during the inception of Visitors. Alphazzel.”

The name rang a bell and Kristel instantly reacted. Frein caught it like a waving signal.

“You know something?” he asked.

“Alphazzel wrote our history books,” she said.

“I already read all your history books.”

“The ones on M.O.B.I.L.E. Library sure. Those are revised editions for ease of academic learning. Alphazzel’s scriptures are more precise and are guarded in the High Palace. I can give you access to those if you think it will help,” Kristel eagerly offered. If Frein wouldn’t accept her previous thanks, this would surely make up for it.

“You don’t have to break even with every favor I make for you, Kristel,” Frein said, smiling. “We’ll always help each other out. That’s what friends do. But I’ll take you up on your offer. It looks like I know where we’re going next.”

Satisfied, Kristel reverted to a thought she had been meaning to ask at the start of this conversation. Frein, always reading her like a book as though he was Blessed by Heart’s Will—which, at this point, she wouldn’t be surprised to find out—simply beckoned the question over.

“You never really told me the reason, Frein,” Kristel began and somehow found it appropriate to gather her courage, “why did you choose to become the Visitor?”

“Haven’t I told you before? Katherine saved my life. Multiple times. I’m here to return the favor.”

“As if I’d buy that.”

“It’s the one I’m selling.” Frein’s smile was clear. For the first time, Kristel felt what it was like to read someone like a book.

That smile. Tired, yet staying strong. Detached to the self. Clinging desperately to someone else. He wasn’t trying to repay Katherine.

Katherine was the only one he had left.

Frein’s smile turned somewhat embarrassed. No, ashamed. Kristel felt a connection. As though she had entered a room that this man kept locked away in the darkness.

“I see…” Kristel didn’t know what to think of it. There were no illusions of grandeur. No desire to save the world. There was only the wish that the one he cared for the most be the happiest one of them all. But—

“I know,” Frein said. “It doesn’t make sense. If I wanted Kat to be happy, we could’ve just stayed on Earth. But unlike me, she has more people who care for her. I didn’t have to ask, but I know the longer Kat stays on Earth, the more likely she’ll lose the ability to return here. And I couldn’t find it in my heart to keep her away from all of you.”

Frein looked satisfied as he stared into Kristel’s eyes. “I’m glad I got to know she’ll be in good hands when I’m gone.”

Kristel felt her world turn upside-down. Anger filled her heart, doused repeatedly by pain and sadness. She was utterly confused.

“It’s so selfish…” she cried. Tears fell uncontrollably, and her hand hurt from clenching too hard.

Frein simply continued to smile. “It’s the most selfish thing one can do.”

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