Part 1: Just another unknown book for you.
> There was a room in an unknown place for the writer at this moment. The weather condition was also a no wonder, as only when a book opens, can true magic arrive to your doorstep.
>
> – A fragment of Unknown memories.
Nothing, then a room. A room, then a bed. A bed, then a bedcover... Instead, such bedcover was moved, as a person looked towards the now opened doors.
The darkness in the room was being purified by the arrival of light. All this happened as a masculine silhouette entered the room, and looked at the patient on a bed.
"Yo, feeling bad?" Asked a masculine voice in the same room.
"..." A person with an indifferent expression tried to look at the man. The silhouette was visible, but everything else was foggy. Vision and understanding were fighting with each other.
"What's with that look? We just met yesterday and you already forgot about me?" The man asked with a resonant voice.
"..." The other person continued to stare as if trying to decipher something.
"Hmm. Seems like our party animal here really forgot about yesterday." A sweet voice came into the room. It was a woman and she was carrying some medicine.
"Oh! Betty, you even brought a De-walker! You are as hardworking as usual." Jarl commented with a smirk. His eyes looking at the woman that entered the room.
"..." The hangover person followed suit and tried to look at the woman.
The visuals were foggy, but the shadow contours described a curvaceous body. It was carrying something in a serving tray of sorts. After the careful scrutinizing, the person returned to look towards the man called Jarl.
"Hah, you find Betty charming? Well, she is an actual beauty. But hey, why is that look in your eyes telling me otherwise?" Jarl seemed to end the phrase with a thoughtful expression.
"Jarl, you should stop blabbering so much nonsense. You know that people that come for that, usually end like this... Afterall..." Betty frowned and expressed in a preaching tone.
"..." The person seemed to still have a hangover. It seemed difficult to recover past experiences. Even trying to see was somewhat painful.
"Heh, but in general they should remember something... Like, their reason for entering this place, right?" Jarl laughed at the end, as if the person he was taking care, pulled off a real number yesterday.
"It's better if you don't tell anything about what occurred yesterday..." Betty suggested while delivering a hidden message to Jarl with her eyes.
"..." The person then looked at the room, prying for something that described where they were. As the two in front didn't say what was wanted.
Sadly, it seemed impossible to recognize anything apart from the odd colors of the surroundings. It was an attracting beauty of silver and golden yet only the glowy contours were visible. Like looking at space, darkness and beautiful stars, but hard to focus or get a clear picture.
"Hahaha... Are you trying to get information by looking at the room?" Jarl scoffed at the person.
"Jarl!" Betty exclaimed angrily. She pinched Jarls side making him twitch.
"Don't mind him. He does the same thing to everyone that comes here, indifferent to their genders. Also, you shouldn't try to see with so much effort, it can extend your recovery."
"Hey! I am not at fault for taking what they didn't want. That's not stealing. You know that they always let me take those things."
Jarl gave an argument and turned towards the person in bed.
"Hear that curious dreamer? You better not remember about that... I know you didn't want it." Jarl tried to explain something to both of them.
"..." The person thought that he may be the victim of thievery. 'Have I been robbed by this big guy?' But it was impossible to realize what happened at that moment, the memories were misty.
"See. They never remember their 'gifts' to me." Jarl snickered confidently as if that was to be expected.
"You should stop doing that Jarl... Huff" Betty sighed at the end while shaking her head.
She then looked at the person with care in her eyes and left the drink at the night table. She opened her mouth and murmured near the person.
"You are being very impatient trying to remember or understanding what's happening. You need to recover the memories you lost first."
"Well, I suppose it's just like that," Jarl added as he scratched his head.
"..." The person tried to focus but seemed to have a foggy vision or eye strain. It was very difficult to understand the meaning of those words.
"He looks restless, why are they always like this?" Betty shook her head with annoyance at their inability to help. She gazed at the person and expressed concern.
"It seems to be a side effect of knowing too much. Only people with experience and the required intelligence search for it." Jarl shrugged.
"..." The person tried to comprehend their discussion without success.
"Ok, you are really trying hard. Take this. It is a journal of sorts. You can try to learn something from it to recall past events." Jarl gave a strange book to the person.
"..." The person took the journal with a flabbergasted expression.
"Yeah, I am talking to you, don't be so surprised. We will go out... You should read it, but remember to be patient." Jarl looked at the reader.
"Sometimes things look more normal than they usually are. Well, you look like this after learning of some mysteries." Jarl shrugged and left the room.
"Don't mind him, just try to find the little bits of unusual things in the journal. It may be helpful when you want to retry that." Betty smiled and walked outside the room.
A warm sensation came from the book in your hands. Is this karma? resonance? Or is it just warm after being inside a guy's pants?
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Part two: Understanding the journal.
Time passed and the visuals returned little by little. You look around yourself and recognize your surroundings.
You stare at the journal, which has a very rough exterior. It seems rather sturdy, somewhat comparable to some plastic or slick metal.
The book had no real cover. Only some symbol markings. But on the glowing light of it, you could see a strange note attached. It seemed to be a little prank by someone.
> "A Grumpy Reader's Journal"
You may think 'Is this a joke? I am not grumpy... Well...'
You calm yourself as a cardboard price tag wasn't the actual cover of it. So you don't even know if that's the name of the book, a brand of a phone, or something that shouldn't be there.
There is no author's signature on the book. Just some strange symbols on its back that aren't relevant.
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You open the book. Your fingers adjust magically the glowy light. Their movement changes the visible black spots acknowledged by your mind.
There are some unreadable parts at the start. With that in mind, you decide to jump towards the prologue and content table, but you get a horrible surprise. The owner and author of this book didn't make one.
With an indignant feeling at the lousy piece of a journal in your hands. You try what a reader must do in due time. Overcome the hurdles and break the rules. In summary, you skip.
The whole thing seems damaged. A book without order and no wonder. This was probably what you wished to never appear at your sight.
A journal with badly stitched pages. Its material feels as varied as those psychedelic colorful pictures. An intent of fusing a shoe with an Edinger beer would have made a better result.
With the mind helping drink in hand, you find that the damn thing is an analogy to Schrödinger's raccoon in a box. Wow, this drink is good to de-block yourself.
Now, you finally understood the Frankenstein abomination of a book you are dealing with. The journal is some kind of badly stitched collection of different stories or events.
A puzzle.
It is composed of different parchments, which makes you deduce, that different people wrote the many parts which it is composed of.
With laziness but a lot of free time, you create a sequential table of content. One made after scrutinizing those patches for the titles. What seemed to be a bunch of disorganized pages, looked better after the touch of your hands.
You look at the work that's done with a smile. Your mind is filled with only one thing.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
> Finally, my laziness laid off. This must be some gold, or I'll just need some raccoon to throw.
>
> Spoiler: Spoiler
>
> Because you are not smilimg obviously. You are probably frowning? Or changing expression now?
>
> Did this stop your reading?
>
> Well... Thinking of something stupid you did?
>
> The Last Warden Neuron - AKA the crazy one.
After finding what your crazy thing did when alone in a museum, you muse at the remembrance of such events. Singing alone at home, shouting in your room, or throwing a lonely naked party when exiting the bathroom...
You end up cursing everything to the empty drink at the little table. What the hell did they give you... No wonder you became a party animal the forgotten day...
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With a better sight and a clear mind, the book before you awaits for resolving.
Among the stories of the book, you found some of them inaccessible, others damaged, and some complete. You order those and make a list of the pieces that you found possible to access.
1. A discovery of...S ...t ...e ...r ... Someone seemed to have eaten or spilled something over it. You can try to get some words after going to that chapter.
2. A strange discussion. (Almost complete)
3. A tale of logic and chaos. (Only the title remains)
4. A fragment of Karlimea: A chronicle of an empire. (Incomplete)
5. (Unknown). Burned.
6. (Unknown). Pages were stolen or taken out.
7. Snared Origins. (Complete)
8. (Unknown). A dragon-dog must have bitten this page of homework.
9. How to take care of this book. (Only title and a big list of contents remain.)
10. Something everyone needs. (Almost complete.)
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Of many patches in the book, only ten are somewhat discernible. Three are completely lost by karma or doggos, One only has a title, and 6 are at least accessible.
The many other patches were in dire. How many stories did such a strange thing have? Why did the author create a chimera of pages and conceptions? You didn't know but were curious to deduce.
Spoiler: Spoiler
Not really a spoiler, just some raccoony bad pun for uncertain purposes.
Maybe those pages were glued together or virtual-water damaged. What was this glue or things hidden inside them... Think... If you were a raccoon, you will probably want to find something tasty and crunchy.
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Part 3: Reading a little. Just before... Doing something more productive.
Looking at your amazing ordered work, you lazily think of the better order to solve this dilemma. As rules are meant to be broken, you will start by the end and smallest fragments.
Suddenly, you find something hilarious. You can't believe what you see and decide to look again.
After looking again, —at the organized titles, — you try your hand at what you find a joke.
Someone actually wrote a way to take care of this book. However, it just seems that no one in their right mind followed it.
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Fragment #9: How to take care of this book:
You find a long and boring list of book caring stuff. Will you read it all? Seriously?
1. Pet and pat your book every now and then. Make it go for your pen as if its life depends on it. It's good to play games with them.
2. Give your book food, the same food you eat and some beer. Yeah, beer and wine will make your book mellowy.
3. Books need a cozy environment, a dry and warm place to rest. Like they can do photosynthesis... They come from trees, right?
4. Books Need Communication. Communicating with your book is relevant. Understanding is the beginning of knowledge. (Grammar is only important until you can understand it. If you give it too much orthography, your book will become excessively proud. It will make only some old fogies laugh. Yeah, it would just spat too many of those bad but gentlemanly jokes. But it can also become a crazy OCD). Look at this disgusting thing to test:
, snd
5. How to bath and trim your book, so it doesn't look like a bookworm. Use brand products, eucalyptus or waxy scent...
6. Give your book some hugs. You need your book to get experience, it needs to get touchy. Experience is based on sensing and perceiving. Even books need some love and ratings. They need to be motivated to grow and don't go suiciding behind blue whales. It's also a song by sLimBizness.
7. Sleep with your book if it feels insecure or it's scared of lightning. Books are scared of water, fire, food, drool, sunlight... They are weak little things that are scared of even a rabbit! But remember they are scared most of a creature called a READER. Especially when they are rated low. They are sad and weak creatures, that need our protection.
8. Brush your book's pages with... (seems broken here. It says something like wax, but that may be misinterpreted).
9. Fill your book with stories. Stories help your book to dream and become better. Don't overfill it with... (seems broken here).
10. Learn how to dispose easily of ink... if your book makes some poo poo disaster. No one likes ink overflowing inside their bookshelves, libraries, and houses.
11. Books need to evolve. Remember, it is of utmost importance to help your book evolve, cultivate or grow. Remember to not give your book a nasty personality when written. Also, snacks can be indigestible and make them change. Don't give your book black materials if you write with black ink.
12. Cliches and Repetition? A book's growth can be associated with the number of pages. So repetition, or maybe not? Do repetitions make the master? Your book will evolve based on the experience the writer has. Be careful not to.... (Also broken here)
13. The plot! Your book needs to be made for something. If you give your book a dark plot, you are prepared to make everyone suffer. If you make your book based on mood it might turn out like that. A book is like a reader of itself. Imagine you give your book a male gender but it thinks different... You should be a good parent and understand it before... It... H... g... a...
14. Give your book a cool title, it deserves it. Naming your book can also be something to look forward to. Your book might get a life! You will finally have someone that does the homework or thesis for you!
15. A baby book needs to be revisioned constantly. It needs to learn how to unfold itself and not to bite a page. Just imagine a book as if having... Eh... Many tongues... It might hurt if you just bite one... You don't want a damaged audioguide or syllable spaced story.
16. The ending! If you end your book, remember to leave an open ending. When you close the ending the book will die. The ending defines the last goal of your book. It's better to give them something impossible. Beware, as it can make your paper pal unstable.
17. The style. It defines your book's flow of thought. Your book's personality is highly influenced by that.
18. Books like to eat knowledge, images, stories... Well, they practically can eat anything, books aren't just made of paper... Still, your book's appearance might return to a paper form after some conditions.
19. The cover! The cover of a book holds the mysteries inside of it or its continuation. Each cover has a different effect on it.
20. Take some parental control, books might lose it when seeing those special books depending on their gender.
21. Teaching a book its language. Some unknown languages will make you crazy. Teach your book something you can understand. If you teach your book quantum mechanics, materials science, neuroscience or advanced calculus... Be prepared. The level of your book can make it spout nonsense or coherence.
22. If you don't want your book turning into a pervert or a complete fanatic of stickman fights... Never ever draw or sketch idiotic things on its corners. Those are sensitive to almost every book.
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613. Give yourself and your book some claps. Every story should receive some praise with what it brings... And a Mud... l ... e... A Mud... a ... k... is the best! If you don't praise your book or give it its favorite... It will become a bad example of a story.
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Okay. You have the book and an organized table. You also finished reading the ninth fragment.
How about reading the tenth fragment since it's small and it might bring you happiness?
You decided to stop and jump-read the last one. Maybe that many things to take into account made its owner neglect it... I mean, 613 clauses can become a sin to the poor creature and create a hell of a book. It's easy to 'be bad and spoiled'.
At this point, you haven't found out what this book is. You don't even know if you want to continue. But you remember something...
The guy named Jarl suggested you read this. He is a good guy right, so you should continue reading right? You will read right?!
> - An energetic raccoon throw is the best way towards happiness. ~ by Everyone.
No, Wait! Something is missing...
What was the thing he stole? You don't remember what he said... But curiosity makes the raccoon move. And so, you want to find out whatever it was that happened.
Is a book the initial magical construct of some AI lifeform?
Nevermind... Lets just read The tenth fragment: That which everyone lacks?... You quickly turn the pages and find the chapter you wish for, or some force made you read...
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Fragment #10: Something everyone needs: (Was it changed? This was a memory test sponsored by raccoon industries.)
> Maybe you don't know. But everyone that takes care of a book or is making one... Needs something.
>
> Something that isn't lacking... Like cookies. Your inner cookie gentleman will munch and munch with djbot's music.
>
> However, more important than souls analyzing the magic of language... More fulfilling than praising someone for good work... Is...
>
> Understanding.
>
> -So, thy deserves a reward, as knowledge shall be granted.
>
>
Give yourself a happy applause. Every reader deserves one.
Give the raccoon a pat/throw/comment/review. Especially a throw, raccoons love to be thrown.
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What is it?
You don't want to leave?
Ah... You don't see the next button...
You are saying that you need something extra?
Then, how about a beer or a joint? A brownie? That hidden...
Why does everyone become receptive to one of those?
Eh? You are still unhappy with that?!
You know... When people are grumpy because someone is playing with a reader, it just means that you are hungry.
Wait... You aren't?!
Then... How about some love?
You don't need love?!
No! Everyone needs Love!
What love?!
How about one or two cats?
You don't like cats?!
How about a cat with some boots? Legendary boots! Rainbow named! Spanish race cat!
So... It's a no... Hmm...
Then how about a dog?
You don't need one?
But... I have read it... Everyone likes Corgis!
You are allergic to cats and dogs?! Do you already have one? You don't want to take care of them?
How about taking care of a raccoon, they are more intelligent... Right?
What? Raccoons aren't pets you say?! That's discriminating!
Ok... It seems that even a trash panda can't make you smile, huh?
Then, if you aren't a guy seeking some achievement... are you perhaps a dark-sider?
What is a dark-sider, you ask?
Well, a dark-sider is one of those that dwell in discord... They are experienced people that know the vilest part of stories... You know... Everyone needs to grow up and get traumatized at some point...
You don't understand if you are?
How about understanding me? I am trying to give good service and advice here...
Eh? You want me to understand you?
Hmm... You are right... Everyone needs to be understood, huh?
You read this... But you find it funny or stupid?
Okay, good... I know what you want dear reader...
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.
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> Something everyone needs... MOAR CHAPTERS!
>
> That my friend is the truth of the universe. The only truth a reader will always follow.
>
> By ~ Unknown readers that will never hi5 the trashcan panda.
Thanks for the applause, but only if you didn't throw the raccoon.
Please pet-pat, fluff and give some food to the raccoon. Don't worry it will wash its little hands or paws before taking a bite.
Viva The Trash Panda!!!
After reading that, you find yourself praising and shouting idiotically... Or maybe not.
But, don't underestimate the raccoon. It will reappear when you don't expect it.
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(Scratching sounds... Nope, it is I typing the notes at the end... Oh... Yeah, I have a Raccoon picture... Maybe you guys are right and I am just getting jittery... Don't worry I don't carry rabies! The Raccoon was the one up there. It pranks readers because they throw it.)
In fact... Just know that throwing it will make you happy. You can leave a comment if that felt good or fun to do.