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Chapter 26: A Bag of Tricks

Chapter 26: A Bag of Tricks

I carefully watched the clearing with an intensity that was lacking during my last visit to the area. I had to admit that I was rather surprised when I saw how close this area was to the village I had just left. I had taken the chance before walking through the portal to get a good view of the surrounding areas. Thinking back on it now, it would make sense a beginner’s village would have an area made specifically for players to progress in power.

I only had a few minutes left before the patch released and I wanted my plan to be well underway before that happened. I didn’t really have time to sit here and think about what I needed to do in order to make this work. I unleashed a sinister grin. “No time like the present, I guess.” I checked my shadow, a habit I had gotten into once I had left my dimension.

Unlike other players, who used mana, my own shadow magic functioned under different mechanics. For example, imagine a player’s mana as a bucket of water. When you cast a spell, you would pour some of the water out to fuel the spell. If you left the bucket alone, it would naturally refill over time, as if left out to collect rainwater or meditate to fill the bucket even faster.

My shadow magic was a little different. To me, My shadow was like a magical toolbelt. I could use some of it to accomplish a task like casting a spell, but just like any other tool, if you were using it on one job you couldn’t use the same tool on another job at the same time. I would have to use another tool from my belt for each additional task. Unlike players, I didn’t have to regenerate my magic power but instead could easily gather all my shadows in a few seconds.

There WAS a downside, however. When a player leveled up, increasing their mana was as easy as allocating a few stat points. I couldn’t do that. Just like buying new tools on the data net, increasing my own magic power was an expensive and difficult task. I could augment my own shadows with the shadows from the environment, but that was only a temporary thing and, if I were to stick with the metaphor, would be equivalent to borrowing a tool from a neighbor.

Right now, I was using almost all of my shadows to blend in with the darkness. I would need to lessen the strength of my obfuscation in order to start my plan. As I lessened control on some of my power, the shadows around me seemed to melt off my body. I wasn’t worried about being spotted though, I was well hidden and would be breaking cover in a few seconds anyways.

I focused and gathered the shadows I had reabsorbed in a half dozen long, thin needles that hovered right in front of my face. Once I had locked onto my target, a very smug and uppity ball of white fluff, I launched my newly created projectiles. Without waiting to see whether I would hit the rabbit that had humiliated me all those months ago, I immediately began my charge.

As the shadow needles flew through the air, they spread out a bit. This was one of the most basic projectile attacks I had developed in my dimension and used the least amount of power out of all of my attacks. As things stood now, those 6 needles took up almost 20% of my shadow power. Most of the needles had veered off course but 2 still managed to hit their marks. Snowball took a shot to his side and another in the upper thigh of his hind leg.

Snowball squealed in shock and pain as it lost its balance and fell over. Yes! Now’s my chance! I quickened my charge and closed the distance as fast as I could before Snowball could regain his senses. Despite how fast I moved, Snowball still managed to get to his feet before I got to him. Thankfully though, merely standing up isn’t enough to save you from a panther 20 times bigger than you.

I leaped at Snowball, claws extended, as soon as I was close enough and the pure white rabbit never even had a chance to widen its eyes in surprise before it was already dead. I now held the body in my jaws by its broken neck as I surveyed my surroundings.

Every. Single. Rabbit. Every single one of them was staring at me, dumbfounded expressions locked on their adorable fuzzy muzzles. I decided to take advantage of their surprise by sprinting full speed towards the edge of the clearing. After all, phase 1 of my plan was completed flawlessly, but it was phase 2 that was going to be the problem.

As I thought, my sprint was like something had flipped a switch for the bunnies. Apparently, their leader meant a lot more to the fluffy monstrosities than I had thought though. As I looked back I could see their eyes were filled with rage. No really, I mean their eyeballs must literally be being pumped full of liquid rage right now. Their eyes were glowing with an ominous red light and as I watched they started chasing me as a surging, squealing typhoon of lagomorphic doom.

The froth pouring from their mouth did nothing to improve the image other than making me want to run even faster, and I was more than happy to oblige. I poured on the steam as I managed to leave the clearing. I had the advantage in speed of course, but that could only take you so far inside a forest. Unlike me, the rabbits chasing me were built for quick turns, and their small size made it easy to pass through thick undergrowth when I would have to run around those patches.

I was barely able to maintain the distance I had. I had been so focused on that, that it had taken me a mile or two before I had realized I must have dropped Snowball’s body at some point without realizing it. Well damn. There goes the rabbit stew I had planned on making. Not like I could do anything without hands anyways though. Not important, dammit! I shook my head to refocus my thoughts. The rabbit mob was still hot on my heels thankfully, I guess they probably didn’t notice me dropping the carcass.

I started working out the final steps for phase 2 in my head. Once I arrived I needed the rabbits to lose sight of me, then I could take the chance to hide from them. Once I was free of their aggression, I could make my escape. I sighed when I realized I wouldn’t be able to enter the shadows like I could in my own dimension. Just another example of how much less power I had right now. Oh well, make do with what you have instead of worrying about what you don’t I guess.

I checked the server time. Crap! I only had about 3 minutes left before the patch is released! This would be close! My plan relied entirely on the fact that Amy would be almost entirely occupied with uploading the patch until it finished. If she was occupied, she couldn’t control NPC’s to make them behave more naturally in unusual situations.

Of course, the developer’s had told the players that much or at least a version of that. They knew that NPC’s might behave more stupidly than normal for a few minutes while the server was being updated but that was about it. Best of all, the NPC’s wouldn’t have much of a memory before the patch so they would only ‘wake up’ once everything was fully implemented. A small window of time for me, but still doable!

……

Arbalest village was surprisingly busy today. Many of the players had logged in to the game in order to witness the patch and what the changes would be like. Even though over a week has gone by since the game’s recent release, there was a constant flow of new players so the beginner villages were usually consistently populated and Arbalest village was no exception.

Players ran around to complete various quests for the NPC’s and there were a few number of higher leveled players who had come back to the village if for no other reason than to show off the gear and progress they had made. There wasn’t actually anything special on display, but it was still enough to leave newcomers gaping at their surroundings.

GrammarKnotsee was currently hanging out in a the Hogsbreath Tavern. Like all the other players, he was pretty excited to witness the effects of the patch. Unlike other players though, GrammarKnotsee was fairly observant. He had noticed the various quirks in the game that broke the realism a little bit for him.

A woman stepping out to sweep the front porch of her shop when she had just swept it 2 hours earlier. A Blacksmith that had been working on the same sword for hours at a time only to suddenly finish it when another player walked up to him to hand in a quest. A group of hunters in training that never seemed to run out of arrows during target practice for 2 hours straight. Small things that could easily go unnoticed by 99% of people.

GrammarKnotsee noticed though, but that was something he liked doing. He thought of it as a means of determining how much effort developers put into the game. The fact that there was so little to break realism only proved how great the game was. Most players were currently out doing quests and killing mobs in order to experience the patch, but there was no way you can get a grasp for the changes out in the middle of the plains.

GrammarKnotsee felt that in order to notice the changes to NPC behavior, you should be where they liked to congregate the most. This was why he was currently nursing a mug of ale at the bar of the Hogsbreath Tavern. GrammarKnotsee checked server time. “2 minutes left til patch time, huh?” He opened up the chat window so he could read any player messages that mentioned anything unusual.

GrammarKnotsee was surprised to see that there indeed WAS something unusual happening in the town and read the chat window in fascination as the messages told a story of an oddity of obscene proportions.

OlympicCouchpotato- Hey does anyone have some extra healing potions

GrumpyMonkey- Yo! Paladin looking for group! I can roll with whatever you feel like doin

Vavazoomy- I am SOOO excited for this patch! I can’t wait to see how everything changes!

OlympicCouchpotato- hey does anyone have some extra healing potions

Talentedturtle- No! Stop asking!

Baconislove- @vava yea, I know right? I’m standing here with the guards at the gate. I figured since I pass by them so much I would probably notice them changing how they act.

Tainted1- Whoa, guys. I hear some screeching sounds or something.

Vavazoomy- Really? Where are you

Baconislove- I see him actually. He's near the forest.

Tainted1- I’m over here by the forest.

Tainted1- Actually it’s getting louder definitely coming from the woods. It sounds like someone is murdering a thousand rats at the same time.

Flowerpower- Ewwww! That’s GROSS!!!

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

Baconislove- Actually, I think I can hear it too.

Talentedturtle- Really? You think it has something to do with the patch?

Tainted1- Geez, it’s actually getting pretty fucking loud I wishadshklf;nvuie

Tainted1 has died

Baconislove- WTF!!!

Baconislove- HolyshitWTF!!!!

Talentedturtle- wut?

Baconislove- IT’S THE GOD DAMNED BUNNYPOCALYPSE!!!

Baconislove has died

Vavazoomy- Wtf?

Italianburrito has died

AnAngrypenguin has died

BonafriedChicken has died

Lucky13 has died

Chaotick has died

Talentedturtle- WTF is going on?! Why is everyone dying?!

MildSanity has died

Cr1s3s has died

Flowerpower- Awww! There are a bunch of cute bunnies running in the town!

Flowerpower has died

GrammarKnotsee stopped reading the chat and looked around him. Nothing in the tavern seemed to had changed. It still had the usual crowd of NPC’s and the bartender was still mindlessly cleaning his various mugs and glasses, The usual inaudible background noise of conversation filled the tavern, and the usual waitress bustled around to the ‘guests’ and pretended to take their order. Nothing at all seemed out of the ordinary.

GrammarKnotsee tilted his head towards the open door and listened more carefully. Now that he was paying attention, he could faintly make out some sort of chittering squealing sound, mixed with the noise of screaming as people ran for their lives or died as players to slow to run had proved already in the chat.

As he listened, the squeals got louder and louder. He absently checked the server time. Less than a minute left. The squealing suddenly spiked in volume and GrammarKnotsee jerked his head to the tavern door just in time to see the first bunnies surging past the door. There were dozens of the things! He couldn’t help but gape at the spectacle.

3 of the rabbits stopped at the door and sniffed at the air. After a few seconds, they turned and stared directly at him. GrammarKnotsee felt a shiver of fear creep up his spine. What made him nervous wasn’t just the fact that there were three of them, although that could make any solo noob nervous. No, the glowing red eyes and blood-tinged froth dripping from their mouths added a tone of realism to the fear he wasn’t quite prepared for. He didn’t know why, but GrammarKnotsee decided that now was as good a time as any to identify them.

Lvl. 4 Berserk Horned Rabbit

GrammarKnotsee swallowed nervously and searched the tavern for any help only to find nothing. NPC’s remained completely oblivious to the danger standing just a few feet away from them. The horned rabbits squeaked ominously, or at least as ominous as any squeak could normally be, dragging his attention back to them as they crouched low and readied themselves to jump at him.

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World Message- Implementing Patch update. Please standby.

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The world froze around GrammarKnotsee. The horned rabbits, now caught midair, appeared no less intimidating. GrammarKnotsee found he couldn’t move either. He decided to take the opportunity to fully plan out what he would do to avoid the incoming attack.

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World Message- Patch Implemented. Thank you for playing Dreamscape Online. If you find any bugs or crashes to report, please visit our forums and let us know!

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Everything suddenly leaped into motion and GrammarKnotsee did the only thing he could. He ducked. There was a crash of broken glass as the three horned rabbits went sailing over his head. Suddenly the room erupted in screams as the tavern guests FINALLY realized things weren’t quite as peaceful as they seemed mere seconds before.

GrammarKnotsee jumped away from the barstool he had been sitting on and pulled his wand out of his sleeves. He noticed the bartender lunge to grab something from under the bar. When he stood back up, the bartender was holding a small crossbow which he aimed at the horned rabbits just now regaining their feet. GrammarKnotsee pointed his wand at the rabbits and prepared a spell.

The bartender shot a glare at GrammarKnotsee. “You ain’t a damn fire wizard, right? Booze and wood don’t exactly mix well with fire, y’know?”

GrammarKnotsee shook his head. “No, I specialize in water magic. I’ll hold down one of them.” GrammarKnotsee cast his frigid breeze spell towards the trio. He had focused on the lower leveled one in the middle but was surprised to see that, not only did he coat his target in a decent layer of ice, but the effects spread somewhat to the other two as well and restricted their movements. All three of the rabbits let out a squeak of pain and once more focused on GrammarKnotsee.

The bartender took the chance to fire a crossbow bolt at the horned rabbit closest to him and the bolt slammed into the rabbit’s side with a satisfying thud. The rabbit dropped to the ground and thrashed in its final death throws. The one on the opposite side leaped for GrammarKnotsee’s face.

The sudden jump was so fast, that GrammarKnotsee only had enough time to throw his arm between him and the jumping rabbit. He screamed in pain as the rabbit chomped down on his arm and bore him down to the floor. GrammarKnotsee thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse until the rabbit started shaking its head side to side like a dog with a new toy. All he could do was grab the rabbit in a sort of bear hug and try to hold it as still as possible.

Suddenly there was an impact on his gut that knocked the wind out of GrammarKnotsee’s lungs. He looked up only to see the bartender was stomping on the horned rabbit latched onto his arm and was stabbing it up under the armpit. GrammarKnotsee felt the rabbit shivering in his arms for a few seconds before it finally fell limp. He carefully pried open the rabbit’s mouth until he was able to extricate his arm from its maw.

A hand entered his vision. “Are you alright kid? Looks like that thing got you pretty good.” said the bartender.

GrammarKnotsee used his good hand to grab the offered hand and he was pulled to his feet. “Thanks for the save. I don’t know how much longer I could have lasted if you hadn’t stepped in.”

“Shit man! That thing really tore you apart.” Said another person. Now that the rabbits inside the building had been taken care of, everyone inside was starting to calm down although they were still nervous as the last few horned rabbits stampeded past the door.

The man that spoke offered a small bottle to GrammarKnotsee filled with a dark red liquid. “I got an extra healing potion you can have. It’s only of the minor rank so it won’t fix everything, but it will certainly help make things a little better.”

GrammarKnotsee smiled as he accepted the bottle. “Thanks, yea this hurts pretty bad. I didn’t bring any of my own today, I wasn’t expecting to get mauled by a stampede of beserk rabbits today.”

The bartender rubbed his chin in thought. “Yea, I don’t know why those rabbits suddenly went crazy like that. They normally hang out in the pasture nearby and mind their own business.”

“Maybe something forced them to leave? Like a predator?” said the man who had offered the potion.

The bartender nodded. “Yea, that sounds about right. I had heard of a pack of dire wolves that had taken over the center of the forest. Maybe they’re starting to spread out and are pushing out the local wildlife?” The bartender looked up at GrammarKnotsee. “You handled yourself pretty good back there. I’ll bet if you found a good group you could convince the adventurer’s guild to send you out to scout the area and figure out what’s going on.”

Quest: Rabbit Riot

Description: Something has caused the horned rabbits in sunny meadows to go crazy. Gregory the Bartender thinks the cause might be from dire wolves in the area. Go to the adventurers guild and inform them of Gregory’s theory.

Objective: Convince the adventurer’s guild to send you on a scouting mission with a party of 3-5 total to investigate the region.

GrammarKnotsee nodded. “Sure, I can do that. I’ll bet plenty of people would be interested to help out as well after all this.” GrammarKnotsee turned and started to hurry out the door but stopped. He listened to all the people inside the tavern. He half expected to hear the usual buzz of inaudible conversation he had always heard before but was surprised.

“Where the hell did all those rabbits come from?”

“How the blazes should I know? I’ve been sitting here drinking wid ya tha whole time!”

“I’m telling you! This is just more proof of the conspiracy! No one else would have a reason to make a horde of rabbits run through the town!”

You and your damn theories! If you tripped over a loose cobblestone you would say it was part of the fucking conspiracy!”

“Should we go to another bar? What if more of those things come back?”

“Are ye daft or something? You wanna go out in the streets WITH those things? No thanks, I’m keeping mah ass planted firmly on this fuckin barstool!”

GrammarKnotsee smiled to himself. For the first time, there were actual conversations. Things were already more believable now. He vowed to himself to try even harder to find anythings that would break realism. First, he would work on this quest, but then he would talk with as many of the NPC’s as possible and th-

“Hey! Quit standing there gawking like an idiot and get to the adventurer’s guild!”

GrammarKnotsee jolted with surprise at the bartender’s outburst. Right, he HAD been standing there like an idiot. Without another word GrammarKnotsee turned and left the building, heading towards the adventurer’s guild to complete his quest.

……

“What is wrong with you?! I thought I told you not to cause trouble! I swear! I turn my back for 15 minutes and when I turn back, I found an entire village being ransacked by a horde of rampaging rabbits! I can’t believe you would-”

I sat in on my throne, which I had changed to a gigantic lazy boy to fit my large frame and was now reclining. Not even 5 minutes had gone by before Amy had popped into my dimension and started haranguing me on the trouble I had caused for the village I brought the rabbits to. Apparently, it was called Arbalest village since Amy had mentioned the name several times during her tirade.

After the horned rabbits started chasing me I had made my way to this village and just before I reached it, I was able to see a player walking along the edge of the woods. Seeing an excellent opportunity, I made a 90-degree turn and hid behind the tree cloaked in my shadows.

As blood crazed as the bunnies were, it didn’t take much to switch their aggression to the much more available and easily reached player. Seconds later, the poor player was dead and the bunnies charged mindlessly forward murdering their way into the village. From there, there was only chaos.

Once I lost my pursuit I popped open a portal to my dimension, made some virtual popcorn, and plopped down in my throne/lazy boy to enjoy the show through my portal’s window. It sure was nice to see all the craziness, the only downside was being unable to read what the zone chat was saying. I imagine it must have been pretty entertaining.

“Are you even listening to me?!” Amy yelled. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?!”

I shifted my gaze to meet hers. “What? I don’t plan on doing it again if that’s what you’re wondering. I always liked messing with people. You could say we’re even. You locked me in a dimension all by myself for months with no warning or preparation. You didn’t think I wouldn’t get back at you, did you?”

That got her to shut up. I could tell she wanted to say something, but whatever Amy wanted to say, she and I both knew it would only make her sound dumb. Amy started blushing furiously. “Fine, if that’s how things are going to be…”

Notice: Requirements for a new trait have been met.

You have earned the trait Trouble Magnetism.

Trouble Magnetism- After causing excessive problems for those around you, your presence has been associated with bad luck. Likelihood of your luck making things worse for you has increased.

Achievement earned: Superstitious- You have come to embody one of many superstitious beliefs around the world. As the first black cat to represent bad luck, you have earned a special bonus reward

Aura of Misfortune- an aura of bad luck hangs on and around you. People that are within it find it 25% more likely for things to not go their way.

Warning: Due to the nature of the aura, there is a rare chance it can be applied to the user in specific circumstances.

“Oh. That was a lot more effective than I expected it to be.” Said Amy. She shrugged her shoulders. “Oh well, It serves you right.”

I gaped at the notifications and before I could even come close to feeling indignant, Amy had vanished in a flash of light. After a few pointless sputters I settled for muttering dark nothings to myself and sinking into a mild depression.

“Way to ruin the mood. Damn party pooper.” I turned to stare at the still rampaging rabbits in the village and, with a sigh, waved my hand to dismiss the view. “I can’t even enjoy the mayhem anymore… I’m gonna go take a nap.” I changed my current lazy boy into a king sized mattress and buried myself in the covers.