“Alright Blue.” Finn crouches next to me. His leg won’t sit still, and honestly I’m just as nervous. “We’re going to see how well you can hack computers. This first one is pretty locked down, but without any active antivirus. It’s safe and will let us calibrate our sensors. Just get in and find whatever important file is in there, alright?”

“Ok. I won’t be able to hear you, just tap me if you need me.” Here goes nothing.

My mind is once again split into two existences. I plug the data from my physical body and begin to shape the endless flow of code into a more familiar form.

When I finish I find myself back in a familiar white void. My body has shifted, no longer a mannequin. I’m tall, feminine, and powerful, better than reality. There’s no way to describe how it feels other than correct.

In front of me sits a house, very similar to Kara’s computer, just without the holes in the walls. The front door sits on a wooden porch with one window on either side. A chimney pokes out of the roof. That’d be an easy way in, but I might as well check the front door. Which is, of course, locked.

Pulling myself onto the roof is easy, this body is so much faster and stronger than my physical one. I almost don’t want to go back. If I could bring everyone in here with me I wouldn’t ever leave.

The chimney is tight, but it’s entirely possible to slowly shimmy my way down. This backdoor has to be intentional. There’s no way someone would leave such a glaring vulnerability here accidentally.

The inside of the house is barren, every shelf and table is empty, save for a single paper sitting in the center of the room. A stay thought summons the paper to my hand. The word “Test” is the only thing written on it. I guess that’s it then. I unlock the front door and step out, returning to the physical world.

“Done.” My internal clock says I spent less than a second in there. At least I can truly show off here. The laptop I was plugged into is unlocked with the test document pulled up.

“Holy shit, nice!” Finn exclaims. Jared gives him a look out of the corner of his eye, which Finn ignores. “Alright, next. This one has its antivirus on, we’ll pull you out if anything goes wrong.” He hands me another cord which I plug into without another word.

I appear outside of the exact same house once again. I could just climb down the chimney again, but there’s no way that’s going to work twice. If I can find it this easily, whoever made the antivirus certainly is aware of it. Plus if anything happens I don’t want to be stuck in a space that tight.

The front door is once again the obvious first thing to try, just in case. The second I touch the doorknob ice begins to creep up my arm, freezing my hand to the knob. A chill pierces its way into my mind, growing colder with every inch of ice that climbs up my arm. Every second makes it harder to think.

In a panic I try desperately to pull my arm back again and again, only for the thickening ice to hold strong. Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! My mind slows with every inch of skin covered. If I don’t get out now I’m fucked. I slam my free arm into the ice, only for the ice to instantly freeze my arms together.

As the ice passes my elbow I brace my feet on the door and push with all my might. The ice begins to crack, only to heal itself an instant later. I can’t think. There’s no other solution, I just have to push harder. At least the ice having to heal itself slows it down by a fraction of a percent. Glad I’ll get a few moments longer to live.

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

My desperation finds one small reservoir of strength, powering one last push. The ice cracks more and more often and the growth slows, and eventually, stops. Suddenly my hand breaks free, sending me tumbling down the porch stairs. The ice remains both on my arms and in my mind.

I can’t just leave, I have to show what I can do. I have to keep going. I’m not risking the fireplace though. I march my way back up the stairs and begin to drive my foot into the front door over and over again, making sure to stay well away from the doorknob. The door begins to creak, then break and finally splinter into the room. The login system won’t work ever again without some serious repairs, but fuck it. I really don’t care. I pull up the document and head back to the physical world.

“Done.” The ice in my mind remains, still slowing my thoughts. Once again I was in and out in under a second. If I couldn’t have freed myself Finn would have never been able to unplug me before I was entirely frozen.

“What happened? Are you ok?” Finn asks, he must be able to hear the anger in my voice.

“Give me a minute.” Talking is the last thing I want to do right now. Threads of thought are chipping away at the ice, freeing bits of my mind every moment. I just need to wait, I just need to be able to think.

“Simon, look at this.” Finn slides to the side, giving Simon access to his computer.

“Huh. Blue, how are you-”

“Shut up.” My mind is too frozen over to both listen to them and to chip away at the ice. I need peace. Even blocking out the sound would take too much concentration.

“We need-”

“I said shut up!” Monroe is hearing me yell, I just don’t care. “Give me a minute.”

I can hear multiple of them typing, I guess I can’t complain. At least I don’t have to decipher the meaning of every keystroke. Someone reaches out to hold my hand, it feels like Kara’s. I barely keep myself from yelling at her, instead I just rip my hand away.

I sit there for fifteen minutes before I begin to feel anything close to normal. Somehow Monroe waits quietly while I fix myself.

“I’m ok.” I finally open my eyes and look at everyone. Monroe is as stoic as ever, but everyone else has concern plastered on their faces. “Sorry.”

“What happened?” Kara keeps her voice quiet and calm.

“The antivirus hurts. I’m ok though.”

“As far as I can tell, you had something similar to a concussion.” Simon’s voice comes from behind me. “Do we need to stop for today?”

“No.” I still have to impress Monroe. And it should be easy to avoid making that mistake again. I’ll just be careful. “Give me the next computer.”

“I don’t think-”

“Give me it.” I already know what Finn was going to say. I even agree with him, but it doesn't matter if it’s safe, it doesn't even matter if I can’t do it. I have to. I don’t want to die.

“Blue.” Kara gently turns my head, forcing me to look at her. “You’re injured. Let’s take a break and come back to it.”

“I can’t.” Despite my best effort tears begin to well in my eyes. “I have to impress him.”

“You already have. Take a break.” Her voice washes over my mind like a comforting blanket.

“But I can keep going.”

“You’re so afraid of being shut down that you’re going to risk death or permanent injury?” Annoyance has crept into the edge of Kara’s voice, no matter how well she tries to hide it.

“At least I have control of this.” I’m not leaving my continued existence up to chance. Why doesn’t she see how obvious that is?

“Run the third test.” Monroe’s command ends the argument. Even I can tell that Kara wants to argue, but she holds her tongue.

Finn hands me one last cord.

“This laptop is networked to two others. Unlock and get the files from all three of them. And stay safe please, antivirus is on for all three.”

Here we go again.