I awake, as always, to a tap on my shoulder. Kara stands in front of me with a small smile on her face. Jared, Finn, and Simon are all standing behind her. I definitely missed something.
“Morning, Blue.” Kara says.
Is it ok for her to say that with the others around? Do they know? They have to, but is that ok? Maybe I made a mistake. I guess even if I did, it’s too late now. Kara wouldn’t use my name if it would have put me in trouble, right?
“Good morning.”
“We’ve got a big day today.” Kara and Finn immediately begin unhooking me. “Don’t worry though, you’ll have all of us with you.”
“What’s happening?” Maybe I am in trouble.
Jared steps up to speak before Kara can continue.
“Colonel Monroe is asking for a demonstration on your capabilities. We’re reporting downstairs in an hour.”
Huh, I kind of forgot that there’s more out there than this one windowless room. Maybe I’ll even get to see outside!
“First,” he continues, “a few rules. You will refer to him only as Colonel Monroe, you will be respectful. If he gives you a command, you will respond ‘yes sir’ and promptly complete his task.” Jared is trying to look strong, but I can see his arms moving ever so slightly as he fidgets.
“Whatever happened to seeing me as more than a lab rat?” I’m certain my displeasure is crystal clear.
“Blue, listen, I know.” Kara paints her face as serious as she can, just for me. “This guy has every right to pull the plug on this project. It’s not fair, I know, but you have to show him what you can do.”
We only want to see you grow. So that was a lie then, and now’s when it makes things worse. Great. I’m so glad Mary keeps screwing me over, even when she’s not here.
That doesn’t make Kara wrong though. I’m not human, I don’t get rights. There’d be no repercussions if the project gets ended. As a last resort, maybe I can get Kara to sneak out my chip? But even if she did, then what? How long can I live without nutrients and power? And having to be on the run forever without her? No, that’s not an option. I have to make sure today goes well.
“Fine, what should I expect?”
“A guy overcompensating for his-”
Finn is cut off by yelling from Jared and Kara’s laughter. Simon is the one to continue the conversation with me once the three of them settle down.
“Colonel Monroe won’t stand for jokes. Please do not repeat what you’ve heard. He’s exceptionally stuck up, even amongst military higher ups. Expect no small talk, and give short and concise answers.”
While Jared is fidgeting behind his back, Simon is still and confident, at least as far as I can tell. His arms never move from his sides.
“Ok, and what kind of tasks?”
“That I can’t know for sure. Expect movement and conversational skill tests at the minimum, possibly hacking. Even if you haven’t trained in it, Kara seems confident in your abilities.” Simon gives a small, awkward wink.
How much about last night did Kara tell them? Nobody has asked me about anything, so probably most of it. Or at least enough for them to be happy with the answers.
“Ok.” It’s not like I get a choice. “Any other advice?”
“Do your best to be independent. Even if you can’t do something, make him see your potential, what you can become. Good luck.” Simon half reaches for my shoulder before deciding against touching me and turning around. He heads over to a cart and begins transferring nearly his entire desk to it.
Finally Kara and Finn finish unhooking me.
“Well kid, what do you want to do?” Kara asks with what I think is excitement in her voice. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her sound like this, is she trying to hide nervousness? Or is there something else wrong? Maybe I’m just misreading the tone of her voice?
Also, I’ve never been asked what I want to do before. I guess the best thing I can do is to relax, but how do people do that? Just sit here quietly thinking about nothing? Make smalltalk? Fail at tossing a ball with someone because my arms are too slow?
“I don’t know. Practice, I guess.”
“I’ve got an idea, I’m going to push you over and-”
“You will not!” Jared exclaims.
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“Relax! Her body can take a ten foot fall with minimal damage. Besides, it’s important to learn how to fall safely.” Kara seems a little too excited about pushing me over.
“What if you damage it right before Colonel Monroe’s testing?”
“Her, not it.” Kara stands up straight in front of Jared. Even though she’s shorter, she seems so much scarier than him.
“Fine! Her, whatever. My point still stands, you are not allowed to.”
“Do I get a say in this?” I ask both of them.
“Yes!”
“No!”
Kara and Jared yell out simultaneously.
Great. Finn and Simon get sucked into the argument too. Simon is arguing that it’s too risky to try and Finn is just angry about Jared calling me it.
Did he forget I’ve already learned how to catch myself from minor falls? Or was he too deep in his own paperwork to pay attention to me learning to walk?
Whatever, if it’ll get them to stop arguing I’ll just do it. I just have to throw myself to the side and use my arms to arrest my momentum.
Jared only realizes what’s happening when I’m halfway to the ground. He yells and lunges to catch me, but is far too slow. My landing was a little rough, but a quick check lets me know nothing is damaged. Jared stands above me as I move into a sitting position, his entire face is burning red.
“No damage, I’m fine.”
“B-11 you can’t-”
“My name’s Blue.” I push myself to my feet. Jared keeps his eyes locked onto mine. I’m not sure what that means, but I know I can stare back longer than he can.
A minute later he turns around, stomping to his desk.
“Do not let it break itself.” He calls out to nobody in particular.
“Oh my God, just use she.” Finn follows him back to his desk.
“I’m not having this conversation.”
“Well that’s a shame, because I am.”
“Are you trying to get written up?”
“What, and tarnish your image as a perfect boss? Please, do it.” Finn puts both of his hands on Jared’s desk and leans forward towards him. “After all your bragging to the higher ups, I’d love to see how that goes. The worst you’d do is send me home and then explain to Colonel Tiny Dick why half your subordinates are missing today of all days.”
“Fine. If you’re so insistent, we should have this conversation elsewhere.” Jared stands up from his chair, expecting Finn to follow. The two of them disappear out the door to the lab.
“I don’t want Finn to get in trouble because of me.” I drop into a nearby chair. I don’t even want to stay standing.
“I know, it’s ok. This is far from the first time they’ve argued like this.” Kara pulls up a chair besides me.
“Does Jared hate me?”
“That… certainly is a question.” Kara looks up at the ceiling, trying to collect her words.
So that’s a yes. Do I actually care about that though? I guess I have to since it keeps this lab from closing, keeps me from dying.
“Jared hates everything.” Kara finally says simply. “This lab was kind of a dead end, before you of course. Simon had this crazy idea and got the bare minimum of support. Finn and I asked to be assigned here, but Jared and Mary? They were just shoved into this basement so they could be forgotten about and fired when they failed. Jared only really sees things as an opportunity for promotion. He wants you to work well enough that he gets out of here, without you being such a success that he’s stuck here forever.”
“You don’t want to leave?” I almost don’t want to hear the answer.
“Of course not.” She places a firm hand on my shoulder and gives a small squeeze. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
I rest my head on her hand. I don’t need to rest my head of course, but it’s nice to just sit there together.
“I’m not leaving either, for the record.” Simon adds from across the room.
“Thank you.” I call back.
If only we could stay here forever. An hour is an incredibly long time, but I can feel the seconds stretching into minutes, threatening the reaper's arrival.
I begin to tap my fingers together, just to have something to occupy my mind. Five, Five, One. I repeat this sequence of 11 over and over. It’s not much, but it keeps my mind off of what’s coming.
“Nervous?” Kara’s voice is soft and soothing besides me.
“Just trying not to think about it.” Eleven, eleven, eleven, again and again. Don’t think about anything else.
“Why don’t we work on you together then? Make sure you’re in perfect shape?”
“I don’t know how I’d help. I don’t have my own blueprints.”
“I know. One of the conditions of my employment is that I’d give your blueprints to someone else before I died. Here, memorize these.” She pulls out a flash drive out of one of her endless pockets and hands it to me.
I plug it into my wrist and pull up the data. It’s the blueprints for my body in its entirety. Huh, other than the radioactive generator in my chest and the support for my chip, I’m surprisingly simple. As much as possible, parts are designed to be replaceable with only the simplest of tools. Heck, I could pop off my arm right now with a screwdriver and some tweezers, and the tweezers are only if I want to keep the wires intact. The design is simply beautiful. I can’t imagine how long my body must have taken to create.
Some details about my chip are also on the blueprints, although they’re not in nearly as much detail as I would like. My mind is partially biological, with a plant-like structure. The details of a canister in my chest is on here, specifying every nutrient I need every day to survive.
“Done. Here.” I hand the drive back to her.
Kara immediately drops it onto the ground, only to destroy it with one swift stomp. Simon barely even reacts to the sudden destruction and noise. She scoops the remains of the drive back into a pocket.
“There. Now the only existing copies of those blueprints live in our heads.” Kara turns her face into an overemphasized serious look, just to be sure I get it. “The military will toss you out once they don’t see your use, and I won’t always be there to help. You having these blueprints won’t keep you alive on their own, but they should hopefully help. They can’t access your memories, no matter what they say, so don’t just give it to them, ok?”
“Ok.”
“Good!” She reaches up and ruffles my hair, her serious look melting away. That little gesture sends my mind reeling. It’s a lot to take in, but it feels really nice. “Now how about we take a look at that arm you fell on.”