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Bofuri: I don't want to be a nobody so I'll min-max
CHP 2. Nobody and a Brand New World

CHP 2. Nobody and a Brand New World

The next few days after my birth had been a bit hectic, with the doctors running lots of tests on me to judge my general health.

Things they don’t talk about for being aware during birth. Cutting the umbilical cord and.. Ugh… Circumcision.

For the umbilical cut I was still awake, it didn’t hurt or anything it just felt… strange. Definitely below being birthed but above intentional waterboarding on the ranking chart.

I think about the ranking so much these days I should probably take some time to make a real list.

Anyways, for the circumcision they put me under but it was still odd to go from a definite something there to nothing, it was even a bit… breezy…

Another thing above the waterboarding incident, as I am now dubbing it, is having no control over when I piss or shit myself.

As a former 24 year old, it severely hurts my pride to have no control over my excrement system, though I got used to it after around a month. Enough to where I didn’t even really notice it anymore.

Another weird thing on the list…

I should probably stop mentioning the list

Being breastfed

Normally, all for that sort of thing, but not when it's my new mom.

‘New mom huh, sorry mom, but I’m sure she’ll be fine eventually, I was an adult when I died, and we hadn’t seen each other in a while anyway..’

Being breastfed, like shitting myself frequently, is another thing that made my 24 year old mind wail like the baby I am on the outside.

Being a baby is something that has made me appreciate not remembering being one the first time I was one.

It feels a lot like what I imagine being jello feels like. Sometimes when I try to move my legs or arms will bend in ways that just looking at makes me feel uncomfortable, even if I can’t really feel it.

The first couple months of being a baby has gone by pretty fast, at least for me. Babies do really need to sleep a lot for the first couple years of their life.

But even with all the sleeping I have been doing, I have been afflicted with one of the worst conditions mankind has to suffer through.

Boredom.

I am sooooo bored!

I’m in a crib all day, so all I can stare at is the blank ceiling from when I wake up until when I fall asleep.

Parents, paint clouds or literally anything on the ceiling in your baby’s nursery room.

I was so bored I even spent a couple of hours saying every variation of “system” I could think of to see if I had a cheat or anything else of that sort. But unfortunately, no dice.

There's not a TV or anything in my room to entertain me, though I can hear one occasionally so I guess that and not having a system likely means no fantasyland for me. Yay…

Though my new mom does occasionally bring me to go shopping and the cars look like older models. Which could either mean my parents are fans of older cars or I was born in a time before I was originally.

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Confirming that theory is that now that it's been awhile since I was born, I’m starting to pick up on some common words, including dates.

‘Thank you child brain neural plasticity’

September 8, 1992, Kyoto Japan

That is the date and place I was born. I put it together myself within the first 2 weeks. Which brings up some very exciting and interesting possibilities.

Could I meet myself in the future? Like in 2015 could I go to America and try to find myself. Though that could be weird because Mark, gotta try to start being Ren, will be only 15 and I will be 23, sooooo, maybe not.

Speaking of entertainment though, I have noticed some pretty strange things. It has been 2 years since I was born, you see why I’m so bored now, which means the year is somewhere around 1994, but I noticed something weird.

I think my dad has a PS4.

Considering the cars and the fact that people are still using flip phones with only rich people getting the first smartphones this year, that's pretty crazy.

Which means either my dad is some sort of super exec at Sony, and seeing as the ps4 came out in 2014 so they probably haven’t even started development for the ps3, probably not, or I live in some fucked up anime world where the level of technology stays relatively the same as real life, but has super tech, like the Sword Art Online anime.

I’m hoping, begging, praying even, that it’s the second option.

I have always wanted to play those anime games, they always seem so straightforward and fun. And even if this is SAO world I could just wait until the incident is over and play ALO or GGO or any of the other Amosphere games shown in that “SAO alternative” spin off that was arguably better than the original show.

I am so excited to see what the future holds for me in this new life.

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It has been 4 years since last, and I am now 6 whole years old.

It’s been a long journey, and I am so proud of myself for making it this long without going crazy from being a child again.

I think the day I took my first steps was the happiest day of my lifes. And in the process of figuring out how to walk again I only fell over and embarrassed my adult mind a few times.

Definitely

Once I could walk my world opened up. I was finally able to do something other than sleep and stare at the ceiling. I could go to the family room and watch TV. Ah TV, how I missed you.

Though the quality of the programs are admittedly kinda poor.

How they figured out the PS5 while only having rudimentary flat screens I will never know and have decided to stop thinking about too hard.

About the PS5, this world really is crazy. I mean, it’s only 1998 but the new gen console of 2020 from my old world is already out, including the oculus and the play station VR headset. With the way things are looking the Oculus Quest 2 will be out by the early 2000’s. How this isn’t affecting the rest of the world's technology I will never know and like I said, I will stop thinking about it.

Sooooo, what things have I learned since last, you ask?

Walking, obviously, I also learned some rudimentary Japanese language skills, about on par with an actual child if not a bit worse. Living in Japan, I had to learn how to use it or I wouldn't be able to do anything, and there was no chance I was going to out myself being able to speak perfect English while being only six.

The reason I say slightly worse is that because I already knew English before, so with an entirely different grammar and sentence structure system already ingrained in my mind, it was pretty hard to change my mindset, but I’m starting to get it down.

Woo for child brain neural plasticity once again.

I haven’t even attempted to try to learn any writing, aside from what I naturally pick up over time due to there being like 4 different writing systems that all intersect and I don’t even want to start thinking about kanji with how convoluted that whole thing is.

I’m pretty sure my parents think I’m different in a good way due to how quickly I seem to pick things up. I must seem super awesome to them.

I mean, of course I do, I am the greatest, smartest kid/adult of all time after all!

He he he

Getting back on track, I occasionally play with other kids at the park my parents bring me to because I don’t want to stick out too much and be discovered, that probably wouldn’t end well.

I’ve decided I will never let anyone figure out my status as a reincarnator in this probably-an-anime world. In the manga's and anime's when the MC does that It always feels so awkward when they reveal themselves, like they are in a constant state of being some kind of omniscient being to their friends and they always just magic away how everyone just seems to accept it.

This pact I swear to myself. Don’t out yourself, don’t do anything to bring too much suspicion to yourself.

Things are pretty much the same for me socially as they were my first time around, I feel generally distant from everyone. Including my parents.

They’re more like big friends and caretakers to me. I just don’t quite love them the way I did my first mom.

Ah now I feel all melancholy again.

Uhhh, back to other kids.

I guess I’m going to have to get used to hanging around them again seeing as how I’m going to start attending elementary school, or as the Japanese call it, Grade school, here soon…

Again

Ugh, I am really not looking forward to having to go through the schooling system again. Especially the notoriously brutal Japanese one.

Not that anything will be difficult, I mean, I almost had a college masters degree in computer sciences before. But even then I know just how tedious and boring things can get in the later grades.

Now that I think of it, I could probably do some light exercise now that I'm young again to try and have a better “physique” or something. Though I doubt it will amount to much if my already lanky twig body is saying anything.

But oh well, not much I can do about any of it. I’ll just have to try and make the best of it.

I better start preparing mentally for having to do another 12 years of school.

Ugh…

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