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CHP 1. Nobody and me.

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Major Disclaimer

I definitely don’t own Bofuri, any of its elements, or anything of any other Intellectual property I reference (If you figure out the show references as I write them leave it in the comments and you’ll get… A potato or something IDK)

This goes for the entirety of the story

Thanks for your consideration

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Also, For reference-

‘Abc’-thoughts

“ABC”-Spoken words

*ABC*-Onamonapia

“ABC”-Different Language “primarily English for MC”(because he’s in Japan) 

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A wriggling.

Dark, cramped and… slightly wet?

‘This does not feel like the warming comfort of my bed and room. What the hell is going on here?’ I think to myself.

This was certainly one weirder thing I’ve experienced in my life, right behind trying to breathe underwater for a dare.

What? I was really drunk, okay! That's not the type of activities I usually get up to.

Anyways.

I still need to figure what's going o-

*Squeeze!!!*

HOLY HELL WHAT WAS THAT!

It felt like every fiber of my being was compressed and jostled at once. I think this one definitely tops the water thing for the ‘strangest experience’ competition.

After the feeling ends I try to shift myself to make things more comfortable and less cramped.

‘Okay, now I really need to figure out what's going on before something like that can happen again, that really wasn’t pleasant.’ I thought with a mental groan.

‘Alright, Mark, time to think this through’. Oh Yeah, my name is Mark by the way, If I haven’t already mentioned.

‘In my own head’

Anyway, Time to lay out the facts. I feel extremely compressed, like I’m stuck between the side of my bed on the wall. But that doesn’t explain the strange wetness I'm feeling, or the muffled talking sounds but that could just be the neighbors.

It’s like I’m completely submerged but at the same time can still breathe, although admittedly only with shallow breaths. 

Is this what fish feel like?

‘*Gasp* Have I been reincarnated in a fantasy world as a fish who is also the demon king with powerful cheats and a harem of busty girls.’ I think-talk to myself without taking a single pause.

Eh, Probably not. Sounds exhausting anyway.

So what's going on here?

I try to say something aloud but it seems like I am currently unable to.

I guess I’ll just stay in my head for now.

‘Where I’m thinking of fish reincarnation instead of my current situation.’

Speaking of reincarnation though, it's kinda starting to bring back memories of what feels like yesterday.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

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Pasadena, California, August 20, 2023

“All right, you guys can head out now” The Professor says while looking extremely tired, like he hadn’t slept for a few years.

A choir of sighs of relief ring out in the rapidly emptying lecture hall.

‘Finally out for the day,’ I thought to myself, walking towards the entrance of the building, ‘Shame I gotta’ go get groceries or I would head straight back to start watching that anime everyone keeps raving about online, “Hidden Master of Darkness”, or something like that.”

I’ve seen the cover of the manga and it definitely looks like another “OP dense Japanese MC with elf girl harem” type show so I don’t understand what all the hype is about. 

“Hey Mark!” I hear someone shout from behind me.

‘Here we go again’ I think ruefully.

I turned around to see a face I was hoping I wouldn’t see.

“Hey, John.” I say, trying to not sound upset. 

I totally nailed it.

It’s not that I dislike the guy or anything, it’s just that when he comes to me like this he usually wants-

“Mark, you wanna come hang out with me and a couple of friends. Y’know, some studying or video games if we get bored.”

-to hang out. Yup, there it is.

As said previously, I don't dislike him or his friends it's just that-

“Sorry dude, I gotta get groceries and run a couple of other errands, you know how it is, I’ll catch you next time” I say like someone who isn’t trying to flake.

“C’mon man, you always say that.” John said with a sad look on his face.

The problem is that I don’t really like to “hang out” with people. I just have a way better time by myself.

I’m not antisocial or anything like that, I don't mind interacting with others and confrontation doesn’t scare me. I guess I’m just a very rare type of introvert. Or something like that.

“Oh well, it is what it is. Catch you next time Mark.” John said with a look of defeat.

“Next time.” I say

At least my excuse was valid this time.

Not that it hasn’t ever been…

Definitely.

Me and John head away from each other while I try to get back on track.

I head outside of my college to get started on gathering groceries.

“Milk, eggs, cleaning supplies, toiletries, etc…”

‘Thanks mom, way to go off on an extended business trip and turn me into a coming-of-age protagonist.’ I think with faux anger.

She goes on trips occasionally leaving me with the house to myself for long stretches of time. There was one time it lasted almost two months back when I was in high school. 

Although now that I’m in college she just lets me live at the house instead of the dorms seeing as she’s hardly there anymore these days. So I guess it’s more of an “Of age” story.

While walking, I see the sign of my college.

“CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY”

‘Ahh, Good ol Caltech, it was a nightmare to get in’ I think nostalgically.

I had either wanted to go here or MIT in Boston but that would have been much harder and I already lived in Pasadena so I was probably going to go here from the start.

It was still a challenge though.

Back on track once again

Really need to stop going on mind tangents.

I head on my epic journey to retrieve basic living supplies

Halfway through my trip I realize I won't be able to get everything at one store and will have to go to another store on the other side of the damn city. 

So I make a quick stop back at my house and start my long trek to get the rest of the items on the list.

On my way back to my house I found myself thinking,

“Ah man, at this point I’m gonna have to put off watching that show until tomorrow, ugh.”

Trying to get back to my home quickly I start to take some shortcuts I know of that take me through some of the rougher places in the city and across some streets.

And then it happens

As I’m going to jay-walk across another street, because only tourists use crosswalks, I notice some bright lights coming at me from the side along with the accompanying blaring horn, sounding like the playing of the trumpeter.

I whip my head to the side at an incredible speed just in time to see the truck coming straight at me, too fast to stop in time.

“HOLY SHI-”

*BAM*

Blinding pain racks through my body as I go tumbling across the pavement. The road rash probably hurt more than the impact due to the pure shock I’m experiencing right now.

‘Ow, Ouch, Owie Owie Owie that really hurt’ I somehow thought to myself past the agony and feeling of bleeding out while splayed on the pavement.

‘Can’t believe I got a visit from truck-kun, I didn't know he was international’

At this point I’m probably using the jokes in my head to try and ignore the existential dread pertaining to the fact that

‘I’m about to die’

That was my last thought.

R.I.P Mark Schmitt 2000-2024

Gone too soon

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Okay, So now that I’ve established what happened I can say one thing for certain.

‘I’ve been isekai-ed’

That's crazy, I meant the reincarnation and truck things as a joke.

 And what's more crazy is that the voices around me even sound vaguely Japanese.

I guess I have to live with this now. Maybe I’ll get to have the amazing, op fantasy adventure I’d always dreamed of. 

Or maybe this is just another world exactly like my own and I will have to go through all my schooling again… ugh.

Alright, let me think about this so-

*SQUEEZE*

AH, this time is even more constriction than the first time. I think I’m about to be born into my new life.

Here I Go—

~1.5 hours later~

Hah, hah, hah

I have been born. Or is it reborn, who knows.

When I first open my eyes the searing pain is back.

‘AH AH too bright too bright’

I rapidly close my eyes to try and stave off the pain and after a bit it goes away.

Okay let me get my bearings. 

I can hear frantic talking around me and I’m being cleaned and passed around.

Now I'm sure, this is definitely Japan, I can even make out a couple words

“~~~arigato~~~~~~~~sugoi~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~nanda~~~~~~~~desu ka~~~~~~Ren Tabito~~~~~~”

‘Ren Tabito? Is that my new name? I guess I’ll have to learn to live with this. My new name huh?’

While I’m pondering my new name, what must be the nurse holding me smacks me on the ass.

‘HEY WHAT THE HELL LADY, that was totally uncalled for. I will no-’

But all that comes out seems to be the wailing noises of a baby. After I start to cry everyone seems relieved. 

‘Oh come on what the Fu-

And thus started the new life of Ren Tabito.

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