“Though we met a few adventurers on the first… or was it the third floor…? They were kind of a rude bunch.” I said as I scratched my head.

“They weren’t rude!” Gretzel said, hitting me with her small star-shaped God item wand; Star Destroyer that my master gave to me before. It kinda hurts actually, being hit by a motherfucking God item. “They were dead, eaten by a group of dragon fucking slimes from hell!”

“And thanks to your freeze spell earlier, they taste good with the strawberry syrup that Elaiza has.” Xinthia said, eating the frozen baby slimes on a stick that she poured the said syrup on.

Gretzel took a bite on Xinthia’s stick. “Frozen slimes with strawberry syrup… this will fucking sell on the capital!!” Gretzel exclaimed.

“What about some mayo syrup?” I opened a portal to the fridge. “Here it is… Charan!” I smiled.

“But Elaiza… that’s a dildo.” Xinthia said as she walked towards me.

“No, you just shake it like this.” I said as I shook the dick mayonnaise dispenser.

“Ohhh…”

Instead of pouring the mayonnaise on the frozen slimes, it spurted out on Xinthia.

“It came out a lot. The thick and slimy mayonnaise….” Xinthia said as she licked her fingers that she dipped from the part that was spilled by the mayonnaise.

“That’s it!!” The demon said.

Her blonde hair turned into white and her eyes turned black and red.

“All of you will die here!” Her cute voice turned into a deep demonic voice like those in horror movies.

“Calm your tits, Kaneki Ken.” I said as I opened two warps to get my Flame Blade and Frozen Zweihandler. “Or we will do it the hard way.”

“Those are two big black dildos’. You do know that, right?” Gretzel said.

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“Wrong sword, but it is sure a hard way.” I said, not losing my cool.

An arrow flew. It was Xinthia’s.

The arrow got blocked by the Demon Queen’s barrier.

“Who on Ather still uses a bow and arrow in this day and age?” The Demon Queen said with a smug smile.

“Well, it was a thousand years ago when I saw this movie on a different dimension where a guy was using a bow and arrow against robots. I just want the poor guy with no power to go home with his kids and drink some chocolate milk.” I said. “And a former master swordsman who thinks that bows are cool like those kids who thinks that 80’s music was better but in truth, they are just lazy to find good shit on the internet.”

The arrow pierced through the barrier and cut through the Demon Queen’s arm that casted the barrier. It split her arm like paper as she yelled in pain.

“Arrow Creation.” Xinthia said as she made another arrow on her hand.

“Oh, damn. That’s got to hurt.” I said as I tried to close my eyes. But in the end, I just had to look. My ears wagged itself.

“At least she knows a regeneration spell.” Gretzel said. “Anyhow, what’s our mission again…?”

“Some collector wants to use a demon horn as a dildo. And she wants the Demon Queen’s horns because it has three sizes.” Xinthia said.

“I’m impressed that you said that with a straight face.” Gretzel said with her unimpressed face.

“Oh great Mother…” The Demon Queen started to chant her spell. Spell Circles appeared around her and on her back as she closed her eyes and started to float into the air. “Grant your child the power to burn the skies and evil doers into ashes.” She then opened her eyes.

“Meteor Rain!”

Meteors were then summoned into the ceiling and is about to fall on us.

“Dispell.” The half-dwarf-half-high-elf witch said as the meteors turned into dust and continued to disintegrate into nothing.

“What!?” The Demon Queen exclaimed in frustration. “I can’t believe that a little girl just cancelled my high level spell….”

I opened a portal near the Demon Queen’s cheek so that Gretzel can poke it with her small hands.”Mana Drain.” The little witch smirked.

“Thanks Elaiza, I finally touched a Demon’s cheek. A queen’s at that!” She said. “It’s really soft. How do you maintain that?”

“Thanks for noticing.” The Demon Queen who just lost all of her mana as her hair and eyes turned back to normal. “I’m actually on a vegan diet as I drink a lot of water.”

“That sounds stupid.” The little bitch remarked. “But if it worked on you, I might as well try it.”

And that’s when I knew that I had to do it to her.

I opened a portal to her head just enough to get her horns in. I closed the portal, cutting her horns as I opened another portal just above my hands,her horns falling at the palm of my hands.

“Nothing personal, Demon Queen.” I smiled to her. “We’re just doing our job. You know what they say; Those who can’t earn gold might as well have their souls sold.”

The mana-less Demon Queen tried to run towards us but I managed to open a portal for us to go home just in time.