Chapter 14
Tetsu and Rei were eventually picked up and transported back to Nojiri for the debrief. The team gathered back in the library, sitting silently while they awaited Paxton’s arrival. The tension in the air was high, especially so as Tetsu thought of the previous failures behind him. He sat across from Rei, feeling more disappointment as she refused to make eye contact with him.
Nomad sat with Rowan, nervously tapping his fingers—each tap an attempt to keep his anxiety at bay. Megumi was at the Mobile Carrier receiving treatment, which further consumed him. Outside, there was a heavy amount of celebration following the election coming to an end. It's positive contrast to the room was agonizing, causing Tetsu to think even more of the reactor.
I just had to push one button, he reminded himself.
The moment had come and gone, leaving him with regret. Once Paxton entered the library, he could not bring himself to face him as he circled around the table.
“I’m gonna be quick with this,” Paxton said after turning to face them. He was missing his usual smoky aroma, instead remaining more tense with his actions. “Megumi was supposed to be our pilot for tomorrow’s flight, but we can see that she will not be present under the current circumstances.”
“Is she going to be ok?” Nomad asked.
“She’s stable, but if we don’t get her back to the fleet, she’s toast,” he calmly responded, quickly turning his attention to Rowan. “Which is why I need you to go meet Mezrich at the Munger and start doing prep. We’re leaving tomorrow morning, early.”
Rowan’s face flickered with some enthusiasm, quickly cracking a smile as Paxton gave the order. Nomad remained unchanged and continued to tap the table nervously.
Rei finally turned to Paxton, and asked, “Are the people going to be safe if we leave them?”
Paxton glanced at her for a moment, almost wincing as he replied, “We brought them freedom, they have to keep it safe now.”
“We leave them just like that?” Nomad chirped.
“We have no choice,” Paxton replied. “We have orders to return to the rendezvous.”
“And we leave the people of Nojiri to pick up the pieces?” Tetsu finally spoke, drawing the attention of the room.
Despite Paxton’s frustration fuming beneath the surface, he was silent after the two pressed into him. However, he remained composed and finally responded, “If we don’t get to the rendezvous, Megumi is not going to make it. She is going to need real medical attention. I know it’s in your best interest as well.”
“If it’s what we have to do, then we have to do it.” Rei said.
“Don’t start now,” Paxton snapped towards her, face slowly becoming flushed. “I wanted to keep this meeting brief because I wanted to talk to you, both of you,” he stared back towards Nomad and Rowan, adding, “alone.”
Nomad and Rowan slowly began to exit the library while Tetsu finally sat up. He knew that he made mistakes and tried to swallow it one more time.
The moment the doors of the entrance shut, Paxton calmy asked Tetsu, “What happened at the lab?”
“I started to go towards the lab, and I was on the radio with you.” Tetsu began to speak.
“Cut the shit,” Paxton interrupted him. “I want to know what the hell happened and why the explosives didn’t go off. You had one job kid, one fucking job!”
Tetsu did not respond, nor meet his gaze. He looked down at the table, expressionless while Paxton continued his assault. After a long silence, Paxton pressed in again, repeating, “What happened at the lab?”
“I planted the bombs,” Tetsu finally gained enough courage to defend and then stared back up to Paxton. “I encountered a warrior named Susumu, who was hired by the enemy. He was there to complete his previous obligations, and he kept me from going forward.”
“And where were you during all this?” Paxton asked Rei.
Tetsu spoke up, cutting off Rei, “She showed up and started fighting him.”
“I held off Susumu while Tetsu went to plant the bombs.” Rei said.
Paxton stared bewildered at the two as they fell silent. Furious, he started to wave his hands towards them and asking, “Then what? Why the hell did this stop you? Sounds like you were wide open to finish the job.”
“I did plant them.”
There was another long pause, only causing Paxton to yell, “Then why the hell didn’t ya set ‘em off?”
“I thought Rei was in danger,” Tetsu snapped back. He let out a frustrated sigh of regret, forcing himself to vocalize and describe his failure. “They were fighting, and the two were at a stand-still. I knew she was trying to buy time, and I thought if I detonated the bombs, he would have just killed her. I thought I could use the bombs as leverage.”
Rei finally looked over to him, almost as if wanting to respond, but instead remaining silent as her eyes fell onto his. Meanwhile, Paxton stood silent, trying to absorb the response.
Tetsu continued, “I tried to threaten Susumu, but he ended up taking the detonator from me and we escaped.”
Paxton reached over by the table, pulling a chair from beneath and finally sitting down to get at eye level with the two. He took a moment to rub his head before asking, “He was trying to kill you two and then he just let you go?”
“It wasn’t that simple.” Rei added.
“Get the fuck out of here, simple,” Paxton barked. “This is already fishy. Speaking of, Rei, why did you leave the convoy?”
She was hesitant to respond, instead developing a distance stare in her eyes. Paxton was quick to dig in, demanding answers, but only growing more furious with each passing second. Tetsu clenched his fists beneath the desk. Watching Paxton berate Rei in front of him was only fueling his rage.
“If she didn’t show up, I would have been killed. I’m the one who blew it.” Tetsu said.
“That doesn’t matter, you were stuck in a hard place,” Paxton reminded him before turning his focus back to Rei. “You should not have left the convoy. In this life, you have to learn to follow orders. If somethin’ were to happen to you, we woulda been easy pickins. Lives are on the line, and I can’t risk you tryna go O.F.P. like that ever again.”
He went silent, letting the two absorb his words while he tried to compose himself. Before continuing, he stopped to light up a cigarette out of stress. Smoke started to pillow between the two as Paxton continued to puff away.
“As for you,” Paxton said after turning to Tetsu. “You saved her life, fine. That’s a tough call, but sometimes you may have to make a sacrifice for the greater good. It looks like she was buying time, and you blew it.”
Smoke continued to fill the room following Paxton’s continued dressing down. At last, he fixed his attention to Tetsu and quickly said, “Rei, I need to talk to him alone.”
The words sent a chill down Tetsu’s spine. As Rei began to make her exit, he nervously stared back to Paxton, waiting for him to burst. However, Paxton continued to calmly puff his cigarette, loosening his tense stance as he leaned back into the chair.
“Your brother won today,” Paxton drawled, tone the inverse from seconds earlier. “That means your family is still running this place.”
“I guess you won.”
“Naw, we both won,” he began to stare off towards the distance and away from Tetsu while he continued. “The quality of life will be much better for the people. Aside from that, I understand there is still some tension between us. You figure that sums it up?”
Tetsu glared back to him, trying to keep formal as Paxton pressed in. He stared back to Tetsu, smirking before finally saying, “I guess it does.”
“This won’t get us anywhere. We have differences, fine. I’m not going to waste time trying to fight with you.”
“Let’s rewind a bit,” Paxton’s face seemed to transform, showing concern as he lowered his cigarette and looked at Tetsu. “We have our differences, and there are things that have I’ve done that I wish I can undo. I reckon these are the types of things I’m gonna have to live with, and more unfortunately they affect you. I know you’re hurting inside, and that’s why I’m talking with you here.”
“You have my undivided attention.”
Paxton took another drag and turned his focus back to the table as he said, “We’re leaving in the morning, and as much as we could use you, we’re even.”
Tetsu was perplexed by the gesture, replying, “Even?”
“If you want out, now’s the chance,” Paxton said. He paused to let Tetsu reciprocate, finishing with, “If you need time to think about it, you have all night.”
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It was unclear what fate lay in store for Nomad and the rest of the team. Tetsu was as indecisive as ever. When he first left the town, he left his family at their lowest point, leaving them to cope with the passing of his mother without him. There was another path opening for him, and his desire to leave Nojiri once more continued to be weighed down by his guilt.
With his father in the ground, the town in ruin and under new leadership, he would find himself making that same mistake. He stood outside of the town, staring back towards the festivities. There was not enough courage in him to go and see his brother. Congratulations, I’m leaving again. They were already beyond the wire and had chosen their side of the fence. He stood in thought, scanning the area once in hopes to see Rei again.
Behind him, he could hear the leaves beginning to rustle. Tetsu did not need to turn his head to know that Nomad was approaching. The familiar, almost rhythmic sound of his footsteps in the underbrush had become recognizable in their days of training. He stopped a few feet away from Tetsu, his eyes briefly flickering towards Nojiri.
There was a heavy silence between them, one of deep grief. Nomad’s usual sharp gaze was clouded with an unshakeable sadness. The lines of fatigue and worry etched into his face, his shoulders sagged under the weight of his thoughts. Tetsu looked over to him, wanting to say something to try and break the oppressive quiet, but his words failed him.
“Megumi’s stable,” Nomad said, voice barely above a whisper. “She’s not talking much, but she’s alive.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Tetsu replied.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Are you going to be ok?”
“Yeah,” Nomad let out a quick grunt, soon flashing a quick smile to revive his usual optimism. “What did the Major say to you?”
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“A lot.”
“Stand up for yourself. Don’t let that asshole push you around.”
Tetsu perked up, feeling a quick boost from Nomad’s conviction. The two started to walk through Nojiri, examining the damage from the battle that had taken place a week prior. The town was hardly recognizable from what it was before. Tetsu continued to stare towards some of the rubble while thinking of the reactor again.
“I just had to push a button, I had it,” Tetsu hissed before kicking some of the dirt ahead of him. He raised his hand to his face, holding his index and thumb together. “I was this close.”
“Yeah, you were close, but believe me close and done are two different things. Just be glad you and Rei made it back. I’m glad you’re alright,” Nomad replied, almost laughing as he examined Tetsu’s ragged appearance. “Sounds like that other guy gave you two the business.”
“I don’t even know what’s next,” Tetsu began to think of Susumu’s warning of staying in the valley. If the war ever settled down here, he would be able to come and take Nojiri with little resistance. He continued, “Susumu isn’t going to let me stay. I don’t even feel welcome in my own home anymore.”
“No way, fuck that. Home is where the heart is, your people here aren’t your people,” Nomad said before giving him a gentle shove. “That’s us.”
“You are my people?”
“Have your people jumped in front of a bullet for you? I don’t know if they have, but you’ve done that for us.”
“I guess.”
“Have any of those people rushed headfirst into a battle to try and save you,” Nomad continued, giving him another quick jab to the shoulder—this time prompting Tetsu to playfully retaliate. “Nobody in the place I came from would do that for me.”
“I’ve never thought about it like that,” Tetsu said before his face lit up with a smirk. “Do you think I should go with you all?”
“Well,” he laughed and really thought about his abilities in comparison to Tetsu. The young man was still quite green in terms of battle, but his talents were something to not be underestimated. “We definitely need you.”
“Would you do it even if your father just passed away?”
“I had to do it because he did pass away.”
He had never listened to Nomad open about anything before this point. There was much about the war and his new friends from Kashmir that had and may always remain a mystery. While they circled the town, the rest of the troops from Liberation had already begun loading the remains of the Delta unit into the newly acquired dropship.
Tetsu investigated the wreckage and asked, “Do you know what this is for?”
“Probably to reverse engineer it,” Nomad replied, quickly shaking his head, and continuing with, “if it’s possible.”
“I didn’t even know there was a world outside of this one, but now it turns out we’re stuck in a war spanning the entire planet. Did I get that right?”
“I don’t know about the entire planet, it’s a big world.”
“Why though?”
“Imagine two giants,” Nomad turned to him, this time raising his hands as he came to a stop. He was trying to visualize the metaphors in his head, instead playing them out with his hands as he spoke, “Two big giants that are just wailing away at each other.”
“Ok, but why?”
“I’m getting there. So, every now and then, after a fight one of the giants gets a little piece of land. They keep fighting, and then the other one takes a piece of land for himself. It gets a little bit tricky after that, because one giant says the other is bad for punching him and taking the land—even though he’s standing on conquered land with bloodstained fists.”
“There’s more to it than that.”
“That’s the hip-pocket version.”
“What made you fight for the G.E.I. then?”
Nomad shook his head, giving a sigh after hearing the same question. He sat in thought for a moment, only peaking Tetsu’s curiosity to think of Nomad’s ventures before this.
“There’s a lot of people who really believe they are doing good for humanity,” Nomad finally spoke. “The real enemy isn’t the G.E.I. because I can tell you that the Premiere and most of the high command don’t even call the shots most the time. It’s the Weapons Administration, those are the bads.”
He remembered hearing of the organization in passing over the dozens of briefings in the last week. Premiere Anatoly had overseen a lot of the operations in Kashmir, but there was no possible way for one person to manage an administration that governs millions.
Nomad continued, “With how bad we’ve been hindering their offensive, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Premiere started purging them for insubordination. He may not be as evil as a lot of the baddies I’ve seen, but the lesser of evil is still evil.”
“Then answer me this,” Tetsu asked, finally matching Nomad’s gaze. “Why do some people give their lives for them?”
“There’s a lot they have done for people, but mostly it’s for security. People will give anything to walk down the streets safely at night or to ensure their own future. It doesn’t matter who gets stepped on.”
“Even if it means defending tyranny?”
“To be perfectly honest,” Nomad replied, this time turning away and staring back towards the troops as they continued to load the ship. The thought of there being a lesser of two evils rang true as he thought of Liberation. His father called it a dead end and tried to keep him from having to go into this battle. Again, his paranoia started to take over, thinking of Liberation and the O.W.O. becoming tyrannical. He then concluded, “Depends on who the tyrants are.”
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The moon cast its bright white glow on the tattered skyline of Nojiri and illuminated the streets. A chill from the night air could not match Nomad’s words, depends on who the tyrants are. Tetsu had seen the people he grew up with turn on his family and join Liberation at the drop of a hat. He had much on his mind following the mission and had spent most of the night thinking of what would wait in the beyond.
He remained perched bedrock facing what used to be the Nojuro Temple when he took notice of Rei. She had finally chosen to leave the medical bay and make her way over to him. At this time, the two normally would start their morning before the sun could even rise. The light of dawn had not yet come to the horizon. She finally limped over and took a seat on the cold stone next to him.
“Good morning.” Tetsu said.
“Good morning,” she replied, pausing again as her demeanor took a sharp transformation. “I want to apologize for what happened yesterday. You saved my life.”
“I appreciate that.”
“I also appreciate you standing up for me against Paxton.”
The warmth spread through his chest, a feeling he tried to keep suppressed. Seeing her open once more was even more of a relief following their last encounter.
“You don’t have to thank me,” he replied softly, voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside him. “I was doing what was right, that’s all.”
Rei gave him a small, genuine smile that reached his eyes. The rare sight made Tetsu’s heart ache with a sense of joy and longing. In their short time together, he found himself slowly building a bond with her. As it strengthened, he slowly began to realize his feelings and the urge to express them but feared ruining the moment. He did not want to hear the wrong answer, he did not want to drive her away. Instead, he returned her gaze with soft smile of his soft.
“Still,” she said, her tone sincere, “it means a lot to me.”
They sat in a comfortable silence, watching the first rays of sunlight beginning to creep over the horizon. Hundreds of yards away, they noticed Minoru’s carriage starting to roll down the dirt path, steadily approaching them.
“What are you doing out here this early?” she asked him, completely drawing his focus towards her.
“I’ve had a lot on my mind,” Tetsu replied. “I can’t stay in the valley, but I’m worried if I go with you all, I might put you in danger.”
“Don’t think like that,” she replied before forming a distant stare filled with grief. “I got three people killed because I didn’t kill Susumu when I had the chance.”
“I didn’t think you would be so bent up out of shape over it.”
“I don’t handle losses well,” she hesitantly admitted. “I’m glad that we both escaped with our lives.”
The sound of Minoru’s carriage only grew louder, this time prompting her to stand up and continue, “I wish I didn’t hold back I think I could have beaten him.”
“Why did you hold back?”
“I’ve killed people before,” she said, her tone more somberly while her face showed a mixture of regret and a level of intensity that intrigued Tetsu. “It’s never easy, even with the bad ones. Once he told me he was one of the many in my village, it really struck me. I realized that I would be killing somebody from my home, one of the only remaining members of the Hideo-Jin Dynasty. For a moment, it reminded me what little I have left.”
He remembered Nomad’s words, this time trying to collect them before saying, “Home can be anywhere. Have you ever thought about that?”
Rei looked back to him, visibly confused. It was a foreign concept, but she thought about the relationship with Tetsu and the others she was slowly building. In hindsight, she felt closer to them than the many people she grew up with. Everybody in the old village felt like a replaceable cog in a machine. It was cold, there were no individuals. Being among her new peers slowly began to ignite her memories of Shugo continuously trying to break her from that mold.
With another defeat weighing her down, she was finding herself struggling to grasp what individuality meant. Hideo wanted her to be ruthless, to be a more capable fighter than he ever could, and she knew that she could not hold back in the fights ahead. She started to rub her head while the sound of carriage rumbled closer.
“I’ve never had to kill anybody before, but I know what it’s like to not have friends or to lose family.” Tetsu said again.
“I’ll tell you one thing about having to kill,” she said before turning back to him, “when you kill somebody it feels like you’re killing a piece of yourself, but sometimes you must. If you’re coming along, you may be put in that position.”
“Do you think you’re going to kill what makes you a person?”
Rei took some time to think about it. Every day since Shugo passed felt like she was trapped in a struggle. She wondered if the battles ahead would turn her into someone just like Susumu. The possibility was haunting, and she was finding it harder to grasp the reality of such. Minoru finally rolled up to the two, calling out to them as he steered the horses towards them. Tetsu slid off the rock and stood to face him.
“You’re up early.” Tetsu said.
He walked over towards the horse closest to him to show his hand. The animal’s lips flapped about, spreading saliva across Tetsu’s nose as it let out a quick whinny. He pulled back and quickly ran his sleeve across while Minoru began to chuckle.
“He’s not well mannered towards royalty,” Minoru said while he reached into his coat pocket for a cloth. After finally grabbing hold of the tattered piece of linen, he gently tossed it towards Tetsu, staring in awe as it fell towards the dirt. Tetsu lifted the cloth from the dirt below and brushed it over his face while Minoru had tried to keep from laughing. Instead, he asked, “Your brother won, are you excited?”
“I haven’t really thought about it.” Tetsu replied.
“You both look like pure hell. Compared to where we were a week ago,” Minoru went on again and looked at the two as he finished his assessment. He had remembered trying to patch up Tetsu’s shoulder and said, “Looks like an improvement, if you believe that. I know not one of us expected everything to go like this, but at this point I’m just thankful we’re all still alive.”
“Compared to what I came from, you’re very fortunate that your family and most the town made it.” Rei added.
“Almost all of them,” Tetsu said before found his thumb in his mouth again, still nervously biting away as usual. “Do you think I held back on somebody? That guy who shot my father, I could have finished him earlier and maybe he would still be here.”
“I think I rolled in at the wrong part of this conversation.” Minoru said aloud.
“We’re both in a bit of a,” Rei said as she waved her hand in the wind for the word, “trouble?”
“What would that be?” Minoru asked before giving the reins a gentle tug.
“It’s about doing something that should be done, but holding back,” Tetsu spoke, “I could have pressed a button and blown up that entire facility. I would have killed a lot of people, and I don’t think either of us would have made it back alive.”
Minoru let out a grunt, and said, “That’s just a hard decision to make.”
“What would you do?” Rei asked him.
“I don’t know,” Minoru replied as he stared up towards the trees. Still deep in thought, he continued, “I’m not a fighter, but if its them or me, its them.”
Rei and Tetsu knew that moment would present itself sooner or later. With the crew preparing for the evacuation in the morning, neither would have long to make peace with this.
“I’m going to go with the others today, I don’t know when I’m coming back.” Tetsu spoke up, causing Minoru’s eyes to perk up. Rei had started to back away from the two, leaving them in peace as they conversed.
“Well son, you’ve always wanted to leave this town and find your place in the world. I can’t say every decision you’ve made has been good,” Minoru chuckled and leaned towards him, “I know, I’ve been watching you grow up. How old are you now?”
“I’ll be eighteen in a few days, I think.”
“Well, what do you know,” he had stopped short again. After a quick pause, he looked back towards the town to get another glance at the devastation. “Things are going to be getting harder around here, so it might be for the best.”
Rei had stepped forward and said, “We’re ending this war, and we will return.”
“No doubt,” Minoru replied. “You’ve done a lot to help us, and I won’t you both to remember that this is still home. I know you don’t have one, Rei, but don’t ever forget you are welcome. As far as I see it, this is your home.”
“When I do what I have to do, I’ll keep that in mind.”