Then, those brown eyelashes fluttered, and Callum’s silver eyes opened just enough to gaze up at her. Madelynn jumped, her thumb stroking slowly across his jaw. “Hey,” she said wetly, forcing a smile through the frown that pulled tears from her. “How do you feel?”

Callum blinked slowly, his eyes darting around her face as if he never expected to see her again. His breaths came evenly, and his heart beat steadily under Madelynn’s other hand. He strained, his lips pulling into a thin line as his legs shifted. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, his throat sounding raw and painful.

“Sorry?” Madelynn sobbed out a laugh, leaning down until her forehead pressed against the hand over his chest. “You nearly died, and you’re apologizing?” She lifted her head to gaze at him, and his face was cold and unreadable despite the gloss over his eyes.

“I said horrible things to you,” he breathed out, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

Madelynn’s eyebrows drew upward as another tear fell from her eyes. He was trying so hard to look strong, to look like he hadn’t been wasting away just moments ago- like Madelynn hadn’t just watched the skin of his torso peel away like a rotten orange peel. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, and felt his jaw clench under fingers.

“I should’ve.” He pursed his lips like he was debating whether or not to elaborate. “I didn’t think it was going to affect me so much. I didn’t want to worry you anymore than you already were.”

Madelynn shook her head, her eyebrows drawing together. “Worry me?” she blurted. “You were-” Then, she realized he didn’t know. He didn’t know about the necrosis. “Callum, you were never hit with a hex of unhealing. You were cursed.” She paused, but his eyes didn’t show any signs of surprise. He didn’t even look saddened at the news. “It’s a necrosis curse, at least that’s what Elise said. That’s why you almost died, not the rune.”

He looked away from her for a moment and nodded his head faintly. When he didn’t speak, didn’t meet her gaze again, Madelynn cupped his cheek and turned his head so he would look at her again. “Did he- Casimir- do it to you?”

His lips trembled, and his gaze fell away from hers. He was ashamed of something. “Later,” was all he said, and Madelynn understood. Whatever had happened between him and Casimir, he wasn’t ready to discuss it. Maybe they’d fought, or maybe Casimir had strung him up and carved those long, deep lines into him while he screamed in agony. Maybe he’d done the same when he cursed him.

Madelynn clamped her eyes shut tight and nodded, forcing the thought away. “I almost lost you.” The words slipped out of her mouth before she’d realized she was even thinking them.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, his voice strained and wet with the unspoken words between them. His hand came up to rest on her back, gently pulling her toward him. His brow was taut with pain at the movement, and Madelynn wondered how deep the necrosis ran. If they’d missed any, he’d- “Please,” he said softly, his eyes hooded as he stared up at her.

Later, she decided. Later, they could discuss the semantics of his injury, argue over his dishonesty, and decide what married meant to each of them. But, for now, they could just be together. Finally, after what felt like an eternity in a cage of her own making, she could relax. If only for a moment.

And so, she scooted down on the bed and leaned down so her head was nestled between Callum’s shoulder and chin. He strained as he cocked his head to look at her. She pressed herself against him, letting his warmth envelop her completely. His hand tangled in her hair, pulling loose a curl and watching as it fell across her shoulder. Something in his eyes, in the way he saw her, had her leaning forward, inclining her head slightly, until her lips brushed his- just slightly.

The breath between them was heavy and uneven, as if each of them was nervously anticipating the other’s next move. He watched her still, his eyes full of something Madelynn couldn’t place, so she waited for him to move, to show her that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Needed him. Needed him to know how much she couldn’t lose him. How much he meant to her.

He didn’t move, didn’t signal to her that he wanted her at all, and she wondered if, after all this, he still saw her as an obligation like he did when she asked him to marry her. If so, she deserved it for deceiving him. For lying and cheating her way into a marriage for her own sake. And now, to be laying in bed with him, pressed against him with the most intimacy she’d ever experienced with a man, she felt gross. Like the weight of all her actions and misdeeds pressed down on her at once.

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But, he brought his hand up to her cheek and ran his thumb across her bottom lip, and all that fell away. He didn’t look at her like she was a whore, an obligation, or any other horrible thing Madelynn couldn’t come up with in this moment. He looked at her like she was the only woman in the world, and suddenly she had her answer.

One breath. Two. And he threw himself into the kiss. She met him halfway and their lips crashed together.

His hand in her hair drew her closer, while his other came around to brush his fingers against her hip. She shivered at his touch, her hand on his chest moving to the bed under him as she pushed herself up onto her knees, deepening the kiss.

It was nothing like the kiss they shared at their wedding- sharp and calculated. This was loose, passionate, longing, as if all the time they’d spent together and, even more, all the time they’d spent apart- all that piled together into this single moment.

She’d almost lost him- her only chance of survival in such a cruel world- and she’d almost let him slip away. Callum- her husband, her hidden friend and lifeline- nearly left her the same evening they’d finally been bound together.

Madelynn poured her thoughts into her lips, opening her mouth against his in an invitation. Tentatively, his tongue poked out and licked a stripe across her bottom lip, and she met it with her own. His hands both wrapped around her waist, pulling her down onto his chest as she shifted to straddle him, careful to keep her weight off of him.

Her teeth drug against his lower lip and he groaned, his leg coming up between her thighs before he gripped her arms- firm but not painful- and lightly shoved her away from him.

Madelynn pulled away from him, his sudden aversion toward her leaving her feeling hollow and naked. She pushed herself back to one side of the bed and leaned back to sit on her heels. Had she overstepped- crossed some unspoken boundary between them? He watched her, his mouth open as he panted. She felt like crying as that same cold, stonelike emotionless expression fell over him once again.

But, his eyes were wild, pearly blue and silver dancing around in his irises in a way that was painfully reminiscent of the gold in Casimir’s. She’d wonder about that later, as well. She just stared down at him, the beat of her heart mirroring the rapid breaths escaping her open mouth. Callum swallowed hard, his adams apple bobbing, as he leaned his head back, digging deep into the pillow as he groaned deeply, in a way that left a pressure building in her lower belly. “As much as I’d love to-” he cut himself off, his nostrils flaring and his eyebrows raising as his eyes drug down her body before slowly creeping back up to her eyes- “I can’t.”

She blinked at him, cocking her head to the side. “Is it because I’m-”

“It’s not because of anything about you,” he cut her off, his tone laced with frustration. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, crossing his ankles. “We’re married.” He held up his left hand, showing off the thread laced tightly around his ring finger. “But, there are a million things I have to do before I can afford to lose myself in-” He swallowed again, a shiver taking hold of him.

Madelynn breathed deeply, willing the ache low in her belly away. He was right. His body was broken, he needed rest. Not to mention Elise in the other room or the blood crusted under Madelynn’s nails. And they did have a million other things to worry about- the Vanguard, her parents, finding a permanent residence, Casimir. Her head throbbed as the thoughts poured in, so she just nodded and shifted once again so she could cuddle against him.

He grunted as her knee brushed his torso, and she gave him an apologetic look before wrapping her arm around him, drawing little circles on his stubbled jaw with her thumb. She pressed her lips against his collarbone as his eyes slipped closed.

“You aren’t allowed to die,” she whispered against his skin.

He breathed out a laugh, a flexing of his chest and an exhale through his nose. He didn’t open his eyes as a small smirk stretched across his lips. “Or what, you’ll kill me?”

Madelynn let herself melt into him as she felt an easy smile creeping up on her. “If you decide to go and die on me, I will personally reach into the afterlife, pull you out, and send you straight back as many times as it takes for you to realize that you can’t leave me.”

His dimples peeked out as he opened one eye to look down at her lazily. “Noted,” was all he said before he closed his eyes once again. Madelynn’s eyes slipped shut as well, feeling a much needed sleep pressing down on her.

Even as Callum’s chest moved against her, his muscles still trembling lightly around her, her mind brought her back. As sleep consumed her, her eyes fell back into that moment, watching his face drain of life, his skin breaking away and sticking to Elise’s fingers.

Sleep came easy, but Callum’s warmth did little to keep the nightmares away. She dreamt of finding the rune, the green ooze bubbling over and spilling onto the floor around him as his skin peeled away from the muscle. She watched from above as she did nothing to save him, as he screamed in Agony while Elise scrambled to save him. As Casimir drug long, lazy, evil lines into his beautiful face. And she did nothing- could do nothing- as he suffered and faded. She couldn’t help him.

Even when she jolted awake and found Callum still sleeping soundly next to her, when she felt his chest still moving and felt the air emerging from his lips, she couldn’t shake the fear that crept into her tummy. She wrapped her arm tightly around his chest and breathed in his scent- metallic sweat and dirt- as she repeated the same mantra in her head. She couldn’t help him. And as sleep consumed her once again, she decided that had to change.