Madelynn let out a sigh of relief and collapsed against Callum, resting her forehead against his arm. “Thank you,” she breathed out, her chest heavy. Marriage wasn’t only going to keep him from being sent away to die, it kept her away from Casimir. For the time being, at least. Her parents would likely disown her, but that didn’t matter much if she was going to be a Whitlock.

“Don’t thank me.” His voice was still monotone, as if the prospect of marriage hadn’t affected him at all. “You’re ruining your life by doing this. You’re throwing away your nobility.”

She tightened her hold on his arm, worried he might stand up and walk away from her forever. “I don’t care about my nobility. I’ve never cared about it- in fact, I’ve spent most of my life despising it. I care about you. I care about the way you make me feel.” She frowned as she felt her eyes well with tears again. The thought of losing him was devastating in the most selfish way. If he was gone, she was nothing. She’d thrown her life away for a fleeting moment with him, and destroyed his in the process. She thought back to his trembling hands, and the way he’d pulled away from her when she’d tried to hold his hand earlier. Casimir had likely done something unspeakable to him. All because of her.

He brought his other hand up to tangle in her hair as tears dripped down his arm. “This is not a smart move on your part.”

He had no clue. If only he knew what her other options were. If he did, he’d likely throw her out on the streets. She was no better than those she despised the most. “If our roles were reversed, you’d do the same for me.”

The couch shifted, and Elise cleared her throat. Madelynn shot up and turned to look at her, now standing uncomfortably. She rocked back and forth on her feet and twisted the bag in her hands. “I really hate to interrupt, but if you’re planning on a wedding today, we should probably leave relatively soon.” She didn’t look at them, her eyes darting everywhere except the couch, and her cheeks were bright red with embarrassment. “Roland is a three hour ride from here.”

Madelynn nodded. She was right. She’d let her emotions get the better of her. This wasn’t the time to feel sad, they needed to get moving. She squeezed Callum’s arm one last time before she stood as well, flattening her shirt with her palms.

“Alright, I’ll go and get dressed.” Callum pushed off the couch and swayed once he was standing, clamping his eyes shut in a grimace as he steadied himself. “I’ll be ready in a moment.”

He didn’t spare them another glance before he turned away from them and made his way into the bedroom. Once he’d closed the door behind him, Elise let out a long sigh, her shoulders drooping. “Maddie!” she whispered, clutching at Madelynn’s arm. “He’s so cute.”

Madelynn rolled her eyes. “Of course that’s what you’d notice.” But, she couldn’t help the smile that crept up the edges of her mouth.

“Are you really going to marry him?” Elise’s eyes were wide with intrigue, that same goofy smile pulling at her lips.

“I wasn’t joking around, if that’s what you’re asking. He was going to be killed, what other choice do I have?” Her throat was raw, likely from all the crying she’d been doing lately. “If I don’t, I’ll be married off to Casimir, which would be a death sentence all on its own. It’s a strategically intelligent conclusion to come to.”

“Mmhmm.” Elise’s lips drew into a thin line. “I’m sure those tears were all strategy, as well?”

Madelynn rolled her head back on her shoulders, gaping up at the ceiling. “Shut up.”

Just then, Callum reimerged from the bedroom. His hair was still a disaster, and he still had horrible bags under his eyes, but he now wore a pair of white trousers and a coffee-toned button up. He had a bag slung over his shoulder, likely weighed down with extra clothes.

“Are you planning on a long trip?” Madelynn asked as she watched him walk past her toward the bookshelf. He gathered a few books and placed them in his bag before carrying on his back once again.

He furrowed his brow at her. “Are you not?” All the charm and humor had been drained from him, and in their place was only resignation. “We can’t come back here.”

“Why?” she snapped, and he flinched at that before setting his jaw and glaring at her.

“If Casimir finds out we’re married, our lives will become a living hell.” He walked past her and into the bathroom, where he fumbled around as he gathered more items. “I’ll figure out our living situation after we’ve exchanged vows. I’ll also have to talk to my commanding officers about changing placement. I’m sure they’ll put me on paperwork or something otherwise as tedious.”

He joined them in the main area once again. He looked and sounded so frustrated. Madelynn’s belly swirled and knotted. Was marrying her truly such a horrible thing? Was she doing the wrong thing? She just looked down at her feet and focused on not crying again.

“The carriage is out back,” Callum said flatly, and started toward the kitchen.

“Come on, Maddie.” Elise grabbed Madelynn’s arm and lead her in the direction Callum had gone. They passed through the kitchen and out the back door. The carriage was waiting a few feet from the door, but there was no horse attached to it.

Madelynn and Elise both stood still, studying it. Surely, there must have been a horse and rider hiding somewhere nearby.

“It’s charmed,” Callum said, as if that was the most obvious piece of information he’d given out today. “It knows where we’re going.”

He didn’t explain further and Madelynn was too exhausted to ask. Elise was the first one to enter through the side door and plop down on the bench. Madelynn followed, then Callum. He pulled the door closed then sat opposite Madelynn, his face unreadable.

Once they were settled, the carriage moved, slowly at first as it found its way toward the street, then picked up speed until it was moving at the same pace as a typical horse-drawn carriage, if not a bit faster.

“This is wicked,” Elise commented, her eyes scanning the small room. “I just started studying Essence, and I haven’t even gotten to charms yet, but this is fantastic.”

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Callum just offered a lazy smirk in response before leaning back, letting his head fall back as well. His fingers tightened around his knees and his chest heaved with silent breaths. What was he feeling? Was he disgusted? Relieved? Angry? The Callum she knew before felt like a distant memory. Whatever Casimir had been trying to accomplish, it seemed that he’d been successful. Anything that Madelynn and Callum had before was gone, erased by a marriage proposal neither of them could afford to turn down.

The cab fell silent, and Madelynn reached out and gave Elise’s hand a squeeze. Even if Callum grew to hate her, at least he was alive. And she’d always have Elise, no matter what. They’d been together since Elise was born, when Madelynn was freshly three. She was the child of one of the kitchen staff, and she was raised alongside Madelynn until she’d learned to read and write. Then Madelynn took her on as her handmaiden, though it had never been a one-sided dynamic. Before anything, they were friends. The best of friends, really, and she prayed that would never change.

They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Madelynn’s thoughts spiraled, from the impending wedding, to her parents, to Callum’s thoughts, to Elise and whether she was even content in uprooting her life for Madelynn, and to Casimir and whether they were simply falling into a trap.

However, the silence was broken when Elise’s head rolled back and she let out a long, deep snore. The sound echoed through the small cabin, and Madelynn bit her lip to hold back a laugh. She’d always snored when they were children, but never like this. They hadn’t slept in the same room for so long, the thought never even crossed Madelynn’s mind.

Callum’s head snapped up and his eyes landed on Elise. A slow smile tugged at his lips until his dimples were peeking out. “There’s no way such a monstrous sound came from that tiny girl.”

Madelynn matched his smile, relieved at the break in tension. “When we were little, I used to fall asleep, trying to stay as still as possible, pretending she was a growling bear.”

“That’s fantastic,” Callum chuckled out, though the sound was forced rather than the low, hearty laugh he’d had before.

The carriage jolted as the wheels dipped into a pothole. Callum winced, gripping his side. Madelynn leaned forward, instinctively reaching out, but she hesitated before reeling back in. She didn’t want to overstep and undo any progress they’d made toward friendliness again.

Elise didn’t rouse, but instead smacked her lips and mumbled something incoherent.

“Are you alright?” Madelynn asked, her tone hushed but urgent. He looked to be in a great deal of pain, even as the tension lifted from his face. He continued to rub at his side as he straightened and rolled his shoulders.

“I’m fine,” he said sharply. Then, he leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, planting his face in his hands. “Madelynn, why are you doing this?” he mumbled into his open palms.

“Doing what?” she asked, though the words came out more defensively than she’d intended. “Going through with the marriage?”

He nodded, and lifted his head to look at her, resting his chin in his hands. “I asked you to come and say good-bye to me so I could go off and die knowing you were safe, or at least well taken care of. I didn’t mean to guilt you into marrying me.”

Madelynn exhaled shakily, not quite sure if she’d heard him correctly. “Callum, I asked you to marry me, remember? And there’s no way you honestly believed I could just let you die, right?” That was a painful thought. Did he truly think so little of himself?

“I think you’re severely overestimating the life I will be able to give you.” He looked so sad. As if his life was reduced to this moment alone. Why was he suddenly so adamant that he couldn’t be enough for her?

“And what kind of life do you think I want? One of happiness? Of knowing my husband loves me for who I am? That’s all I want.” She gnawed on her thumb nail as she mulled over her words. They were true, but they felt like poisoned lies falling from her mouth. If he loved her, like his letter said, she would never forgive herself.

“You don’t know me, Madelynn. You haven’t seen what war does to men. This isn’t a happy life that you’re walking into.”

“Why are you trying so hard to convince me that saving you is a mistake?” she snapped, bunching her hands into fists. “Is it not enough that I care for you?”

“It’s not!” he bellowed back, before sighing and leaning back looking defeated all over again. He sat silently for a moment, his jaw clenching and unclenching as his hands trembled in his lap. “I will never be able to give you the life you deserve. You will always live in Casimir’s shadow. He will never let this go.”

Madelynn scrubbed her hands over her face. She had to tell him. If she didn’t tell him now, she never would, and she’d live a life of regret. “He came to my house,” she blurted, still covering her eyes in shame. “My parents were going to force me to marry him.”

His face scrunched in confusion. “What?” He shook his head, his hair flying around wildly. “Say that again?”

Madelynn sighed, slumping forward. She looked him in the eyes as she spoke, forcing herself to face the consequences of her actions head on. “He came to my house to negotiate the terms of our courtship with my parents. Elise showed me your letter after I found all this out, I promise. We ran from my parents house after that.” Her breath hitched in her throat as tears threatened her resolve once again. “I swear, I had no clue he had anything to do with you being sent away. All I knew was that I couldn’t lose you when you were all I had left.”

Callum just stared at her, his face emotionless. Then he licked his lips and cocked his head to the side. “So, you’re telling me that after all that, you came to the ever so logical decision to marry me? Are you daft?”

“Are you listening to what I’m saying? I was going to be married off to him, and you’d be dead. What logical decision would you have made if you were in my position?”

Callum’s hands came up to cover his mouth. “You are an idiot,” he said plainly, and Madelynn scowled back at him. “Why didn’t you just run away? Go fuck off to some other city across the country. You’re a beautiful girl, you could’ve found some wealthy Lord to take you in.”

Madelynn wanted to scream. Why wasn’t he understanding what she was trying to say? “I don’t know how many different ways I can say this to you before I lose my mind.” She reached out and pulled his hands into hers. He tensed, but didn’t fight her. She pulled him forward until they were eye to eye. She spoke slowly and deliberately, her eyes trained on his. “I cannot live a life without you in it. You are the only person who has ever seen me as anything besides a bargaining piece in some twisted game of marriage and politics, and I will gladly throw away any life some wealthy Lord could offer me so I can spend my life feeling the way I did when you told me my personality was the least appealing thing about me.”

He closed his eyes, but his lips quivered and he breathed out shakily- and for a moment, Madelynn thought he would burst into tears. Instead, he sat up a little straighter as a smile grew across his lips. “I don’t believe that’s exactly how I worded it.” He chuckled, low and breathy, and Madelynn let out a huge sigh of relief, slumping forward until her head was in her lap.

“So can you please stop acting like I’m doing some horrible crime against humanity by marrying you? This is what I want, and nothing you can say will change that.”

His hands pulled away from hers and came to grip the sides of her face, pulling her up to look at him. He was smiling still, but it was softer. Kinder. It was the Callum she knew. “If this is truly what you want,” he started, shifting forward until he was sliding off the bench. Madelynn gawked at him. What the hell was he doing? “Then, let me ask you what I’ve been wanting to since I watched you tear into that Young Man on the dance floor.” He fell forward onto his knees and gripped one of her hands in both of his. She stared down at him, her belly swirling. “Madelynn Hawtrey, will you marry me?”

Her mouth fell open and she gasped. “Oh, this is so sudden! What will my parents think?” His head fell forward as he laughed, and she waited until he’d regained his composure to give him her answer. She bit her lip as his eyes met hers once again. “Callum Whitlock, I would be honored to be your wife.”

He grinned up at her, as if they could pretend this was all fine, but all she felt was dread. Even as she carried on with him, laughing and joking, all she could think about was how little he knew. That her decisions weren’t made out of love, but desperation. She was a self serving, manipulating little whore, and that was all she would ever be.