Today was the day! I could barely sleep the night before. Stretching, without even the morning light peeking through the windows, I slid out of bed. I donned my “exercise trousers” that I'd made with my mothers help after she had spent some time teaching me to tailor clothes. I'd gotten fairly adept, considering I'd been practicing for around four years already. Most of the clothes I wore I had made myself. My mother was elated that she no longer had to fix the clothes I trained in.
I made my way outside, ready to begin my training. It was almost meditative at this point, when it was so early in the morning. With four swords in my arms, dulled and dented and used solely for training, I stepped into my familiar clearing readily. There was a pair of rune-dances that I'd been practicing, intending to master them before trying my other ideas. I stabbed three of the blades into the dirt, similar abrasions impacting the ground around me from the past few years of doing the same.
I wasn't yet able to control the flow of my mana to the extent I would need in order to activate one of my runesets, but I could definitely feel the trail, the wisp of mana pushing its way through the bottom of my feet, through my hands, and even extending along my sword. It wasn't anything like the sword aura that was spoken of in legends, that came from a power not quite like mana, but rather a simple application of mana manipulation. As I practiced step by step, slowly, I breathed deeply, feeling my mana etch itself into the ground and air, and used my control to place the rune lines on top of one another to create one cohesive formation.
I attempted to use this training, as I had for the past few weeks, to alleviate the worries from my mind. To steel myself for what I had to do. I kept telling myself that today would be a good day. It was system day after all, but unfortunately that meant today I would have to tell my parents everything. At least, unless I decided to postpone it? But they deserved to know the truth about me.
I mean, I’m not a different person just because I lived a different life before this one. They wouldn't, like, kick me out or kill me right? They wouldn't think that I was a fae trick or something? At least I hoped not. I knew there would be some feelings, but I was hoping to avoid anger and ire. Sadness, disappointment, worry, I knew these would be present in some capacity, but anger, ire, rage I didn't know if I could handle.
Frustrated by my persistent thoughts pushing their way into my head I growled, throwing the haggard training blade into the ground. I grasped my head, covering my eyes for a moment as the soft rumble emanated from my throat, letting out my worries a bit. Come on, Lios, get your shit together. They're your parents, they’ll hear you out at least. Calm your nerves. I told myself to try to calm down. My heartrate was accelerating but I decided to take some deep breaths again, clearing my mind.
Stepping towards the curved saber that I’d tossed into the soft dirt, I gripped the handle and ripped it from the earth. After having briefly trained in a dozen or so different weapons I’d decided to, at least for now, focus my attention on a few different types of swords. Later I could always resume studying other weapons, and with the training I’d already done I was fairly decent with a variety of them.
I had specifically learned techniques for shortswords, longswords, curved swords, and greatswords. Despite leaning towards a dexterity focus, I knew that with smithing I’d gain quite a bit of strength that would allow me to comfortably wield most greatswords on top of the agility based swords. I’d taken to training with the large blades with Ento, who was receiving some input from the system through his [Greatsword Mastery] skill.
I completed a few of my sword dances with the saber, my current curved blade shape of choice as the local smith, Derren, didn’t know how to make many others. Our kingdom's army focused on straight edge blades, aside from sabers for the cavalry units, so that's what most of the smiths tended to learn to produce.
The runedances were a bit theoretical as of yet, without access to the system I couldn’t truly grow my magic or magic control except for through my own efforts. For physical things this was okay, but once I leveled up I'd increase my mana capacity past the point where I was currently only able to leak a bit of mana. When I gained full access I’d learn to actually activate the runes and test them so I could hopefully use them in combat. The dances themselves weren't necessarily structured. When I was practicing I attempted to use many different variations of footwork techniques to achieve the desired results, coming to the realization that in combat my opponents wouldn't sit there and wait for me to write the runes so I’d have to have some flexibility to cast my spells.
When I first started to create the dances I had to stay within a three foot diameter circle, essentially making it impossible for me to move around the battlefield. This was because in order to use my “fire wave” spell I had to write many different runes over top of each other. Unlike when writing the runes on paper, I had to stack the individual runes while using this method. About six months ago I had discovered that I could attach individual lines of mana to one another by making a connection with another strand of “sticky” mana, which, when activated with an effort of will, would pull the lines together. This let me step outside of my small circle into a larger one, giving me a fifteen foot diameter circle to work within. If I moved too far away the connection would strain and it would take far more willpower to maintain, resulting in the runes and mana dissipating. I had learned to manipulate and sense mana through effort, like with my other talents. I first felt it while doing a dance nearly a year ago, and attempted to focus on it and manipulate it. It took several tries to latch onto the energy I was casually leaking, but once I did I could easily grasp it whenever I attempted to again.
As I lost myself in my training with the four blades, I became aware of someone watching me. I glanced over to the edge of my house, where Maya leaned against the wall. Through the training, she, Ento, and Ralphy had become my friends. The other two were busy with apprenticeships but would sometimes have time to train with me. Maya, being a year younger than me, had seen less noticeable growth than the two boys, only by the fact that she was unable to access her system for another year. I waved her over, normally she didn't arrive until just after sunrise and it was still a bit early so I shot her a questioning look.
“Todays the day, aye Lios?” She bounded up to me, a slight flush on her face from having been noticed. She always seemed a bit flustered when I noticed her, despite me knowing about her watching me every day thus far.
“Aye, it is,” I muttered a bit as I settled into a stance my father had taught me, and resume my briefly halted practice. There was a thin sheen of sweat covering my body and damping my hair. Despite being only ten my body rippled a fair bit with my muscles as I moved. I was lean, but clearly strong for my age. This time I was simply moving through the motions slowly, giving myself micro corrections as I noticed mistakes in my form. I noticed Maya's eyes following my movements.
“How exciting!” She exclaimed though something in her voice gave me pause. It sounded as if there was something weighing on her. Perhaps I was just paranoid. Even still, I finished my current dance and turned to face her.
“Is something the matter, Maya?” I gently asked. She wasn’t just someone I was teaching anymore, she was more like a sister and a friend at this point.
“Well, um... Not really.” She trailed off. I watched as she looked away from me and chewed the inside of her cheek. Thinking she walked around me until she reached where I had stabbed her spear into the ground. It was a bit rusty, as I often left it out for her to practice whenever she felt like it I let her think in peace as she fell into a stance and started moving like I had been. “What are you planning to do after you get your system?” She finally asked, I could hear a hint of worry in her timid voice. She had greatly grown in confidence the past couple of years, but still had her moments. As do we all.
With her voice shaking she turned toward the woods, away from me. “What am I going to do? Hmm... I’ll keep training. And hopefully get an apprenticeship at the smithy. Maybe in four or five years I’ll leave, and start to adventure.” I replied, hoping to alleviate her worries.
I stabbed my sword into the ground, no need to worry about damaging the steel, and walked behind Maya. I wrapped my arms around her, a little self conscious about my sweatiness. “Don’t worry, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.”
She reached up, and held my arms for a few moments before speaking. “Okay... But why the smith? Aren't you trying to be a swordsman?” I laughed a little at the question, a chuckle escaping my lips.
“Well, yeah, but I have other plans too. One of them requires me to have a good amount of smithing experience, if I can actually pull it off.” I pulled away from the hug. It was nearly time to talk to my parents. It had to be today, maybe supper?
I stepped back, shaking my head and whipping my clammy hands off on my trousers. My heart was thumping in my chest. I sighed and clapped my hands on my cheeks, reddening them and causing Maya to look back at me with concern. I should probably just get it over with before father had to go to work, that way I couldn't chicken out.
Maya took my hand, concern clear in her eyes. “Is something the matter, Lios?” the younger girl asked quietly, looking up at me.
I nodded, before closing my eyes and taking a deep, exaggerated breath. I inhaled to a count of five, held it for a few moments, then exhaled to another count of five. Her eyes were on me the entire time, even with mine closed I could tell. I squeezed her hand, smiled, and reached out to ruffle her golden hair. “Yeah... There’s something but I can't talk about it. Thank you for worrying about me, Maya. There’s just something I have to do, that I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for,” I said, shaking my head. I looked over to the treeline, noting the colors rising over them. It was time to decide, now or later. Swallowing I looked over to the door, weighing the options
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On the one hand, if I spoke to them now I wouldn't have system access. If I waited until I had system access I would stand a better chance if they kicked me out. I’d have a better opportunity to convince people to hire me for work. But if they kicked me out now, I’d still have the same opportunities to work after just waiting a few hours. Alternatively, if they were going to kill me, waiting wouldn't help, and neither would going now. It was a risk no matter what I did.
I took another deep breath, turning towards my friend, and said, “Sorry, Maya, Just a lot on my mind. I don't think I can train you today, but you’re more than welcome to practice with the spear on your own.” I started towards the door, when I was nearly halfway there I looked over my shoulder and shot her a genuine smile. “And thank you for looking out for me.”
She gave me a concerned smile, trying to think of something to say but before she had the chance I was already inside of the house. Inside, my parents were chatting idly and having breakfast. My father drank transparent tea in a wooden mug, and my mother was peeling a suncitra fruit and slicing it. The smell of sizzling sausage wafted throughout the small abode. Already plated were some over easy eggs and crispy home fries with onions. My father put down his mug in order to equip his guard uniform, a set of well maintained, hardly damaged armor. He was in the midst of putting on his greaves, always starting there as it was hard to lean over with the leather and maille cuirass.
Upon entering I took my seat, fidgeting nervously. I was sure my parents wrote it off as being nervous for the system integration. “Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you both about something extremely important.” I said, my voice shaking but my conviction clear in my unwavering eyes. The dark blue, nearly purple, irises were steely.
My parents exchanged a look, and stopped what they were doing for a moment. “Let me set the rest of breakfast, Lios,” my mother requested, distributing the suncitra slices between mine and fathers plate, she didn't enjoy the flavor. She quickly forked a couple of sausages for each of us before sitting down across from my father, with me in the middle.
“What do you need to talk about? Are you telling us you like boys?” My father attempted to break the growing tension, making myself and mother chuckle a little bit.
My heart rate slowed down at the small laugh I let out. “No, well, I mean I don't not like boys. Prefer girls though,” I replied candidly, I didn't think it was necessary to hide my attractions.
“Wait really? I mean I don't think we care but I was just kidding.” My father blushed a little, probably expecting the question to be ignored.
My mother, playing with her food, interjected, “Is it about what class you should select at level ten? You don't have to decide yet, ya know.”
I took a deep breath, swallowing my anxiety. I tentatively took a few bites of food, feeling the tension rising. Thankfully, neither of my parents pushed as I contemplated how to approach this. I’d had ten years of prep but still wasn't sure how to broach this subject. In the end I decided to be blunt, straightforward. “I... I’m not from Ravos. Please give me a second to explain before you ask too many questions,” I requested as father looked like he was about to interrupt. Both of my parents put their forks down and leaned back, expectantly. I saw my fathers hand clutch the handle of his sword, which was leaning against the table as he was getting ready. He didn't draw it, but I could tell he was considering every possibility.
“I’m... I’m not a changeling if that is your concern. The whole story is a bit long, so I’ll skip to the most important details. I was born in another world, possibly another dimension. When I was twenty seven I... I died. I’m not sure how, or why. But I died. The story really starts with the next event. I woke up, floating, in this white void. There was nothing, nothing except some music I didn't recognize and a... god... Their name was Miamora, probably an alias.” At this my parents exchanged a look, the expression of concern on their faces deepening.
They motioned for me to continue. “This god offered me a few different options. They aren't really important, only one is. They offered to allow me to reincarnate with an amount of my memories intact. Anything that could be perceived as too advanced or dangerous to this world was purged. And then, I was in a different void. I was... I was in you, mom. In your womb. Next thing I knew you were um... Birthing me.” I felt a bit awkward with that last point, still clearly remembering my birth, not a memory I wanted to retain. I had spoken quickly, but clearly, worried that the longer I took to relay this information the more likely it was that they’d react adversely. Or that I’d lose the ability to talk.
My father removed his hand from the handle of his sword and opened up his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it. He rubbed his face with his hand, and looked to my mother and back at me. “This wasn’t a... a dream?” My fathers voice shook.
“I mean, there’s always the possibility but I don't think so. I remember a lot from my life before, more than a dream would provide I feel.”
“And this god, this Miamora, you said?” My father was rubbing his chin, on which were few hairs. My mother often complained about them stabbing her but it didn’t stop them from kissing. “Elaine, have you heard of a Miamora? In the greater or lesser pantheons?”
“I haven’t...” I was relieved, they were taking this far better than I expected.
“A are you not... not upset with me?” My voice was shaky, I had expected a bigger reaction. I still did. What I hadn’t expected was for them to simply accept it.
“Well... I’m confused more than anything. Are you certain you remember an entire other life, that this isn’t a strange story you concocted?” My dad resumed donning his armor, getting prepared for the day as a vice captain of this towns guard.
“I’m sure. I wouldn’t lie about something like this.” I looked toward the ground, trembling slightly. “I’ve wanted to say something about it for so long, but I decided to wait till today.”
My mother, seeing me tremble, got up and wrapped me in a hug. “Oh I can only imagine what was going through your mind... I guess your behavior makes a little more sense, don’t you think Zeke?”
My father laughed, breaking me out of my wallowing stupor, and nodded. “It really does. It really does. Listen, Lips, this is huge news. Your mother and I still have to get to work, and I think process this a little. Why don’t you go out and train or play or something and we can pick up the conversation around dinner?”
“Sure, that’s fine. Are you really not upset?” Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes as my mom pulled away from the hug.
“We’re not upset, Lios, just need to process. Okay?” She looked me in the eyes before pressing her lips against my forehead. “Now, go out and enjoy your day. We’ll talk more at supper.”
I nodded and quickly left, taking my plate and a couple extra sausages with me. Unlike my fears, my parents seemed very calm about the bomb I had just dropped. I quickly made my way to the training circle and snatched up the curved saber, leaving before Maya could see the tears falling down my cheeks.
She called to me as I neared the forest edge, but with tears in my eyes I ignored her and rushed through the woods. I hopped over felled logs, ducked under low branches that I’d considered chopping many many times, and found my way into the clearing with my furry friend and her children. The moment I broke into the clearing I heard her warning growl until she realized who had approached her. Then, with all of the energy a recovering momma fox could muster, she leapt at my chest excitedly. She was chittering, laughing the way foxes do.
She had been pregnant the last few times I saw her, but it seemed by now she had given birth. My heart fluttered at the thought of seeing the cute babies for the first time. For a moment, my worries and concerns were abandoned.
As I caught her she jumped out of my arms and rushed to her covered den, a hole she had dug that now contained the mewling puffballs that she recently gave birth to. I let a smile twist my lips as I watched her. Sitting down, my back against a log, I let her bring me the kits one by one. Like her, they were a gray, silver, and black mixture of fur. The small critters barely filled the palm of my hand. She brought me another one, then another. And finally a fourth kit was dropped before me. I pulled the sausages from my pocket, absently feeding her one as I gently pet the unbelievably soft kits.
My attention was split between the momma fox, the mewling adorable kits, and the timer in my vision. I attempted to play with brioche to distract me from the conversation this morning. I was unsuccessful. I wondered what my parents were thinking, if they thought I was crazy and were trying to make me feel better earlier. I no longer worried about them kicking me out, but now considered they may contact the local priest to verify my sanity.
After a while of feeding Bri and playing with her, she took her kits back to the den so they could nap. I stood, and began performing the first sword dance I'd designed using the runes from the Kota language- a beginner friendly rune language. Due to it being a beginner language, the rune sequences could only be so complex, but anyone who truly understood it would be able to make them work for most applications. I wasn't sure if the sequence I’d designed would actually work, given that I couldn’t activate it just yet, but it still felt good to practice. This particular sword dance only contained a few runes, and I could complete the runes with around 12 steps. The runes I used were meant to gather surrounding mana, convert that mana into a wave of fire, then push the wave of fire into the area surrounding me.
I could only focus on training for around two hours before I sat back against the tree. I couldn't stop myself from crying as my negative thoughts overwhelmed me. I was panicking a little bit, my anxieties bombarding me. It didn’t help that, despite actually being close to forty years old, I still had the emotional control of a ten year old. I was scared that my parents wouldn’t recognize me as their son, once they started to consider the implications of my confession. That they'd disown me or worse. I wasn’t sure if reincarnation was a common thing in this world. By their reactions, I'd assume not. What if they told someone? What if it was something that placed fear into the hearts of the church of the Divines, the primary religion on Ravos. What if they kicked me out? Could I survive? I still didn't know much about this world save for what I've read.
In spite of the memories that I had from my past life, my parents were still my parents, as far as I was concerned. They had raised me, they were there with me from the start. They taught me everything I knew. Heck, aside from a few kids my age they were the only people I really interacted with. I had spent the last ten years of my life pushing my past down, trying to forget about it. It would do me no good to dwell on it, not when the people from my memories were gone. Not when different rules applied here. But now I felt lonely, helpless, and alone.
I don't know when it happened, but eventually I fell asleep. It was probably a combination of emotional exhaustion, the cool subtle breeze, the sounds of the Deepbloom forest echoing off of the trees, and the tepid, soft sunlight bearing down on me. I didn’t have much by way of dreams, rather all I had were snippets of nightmares. I couldn’t figure out which of them were worse.
I dreamed of how my parents might react when I finally returned home. How my father might come to the conclusion that I was in fact fae, that I was a threat to the town. How he’d kill me without warning, tears in his eyes, or worse, devoid of emotion. I dreamt of being forced to find my own way in this world as a ten year old, even with the system people wouldn't take me seriously, especially the adventurers guild. Not to mention the nearest guild office was in the closest major city, Port Airos, the capital of Jorial. My mind took advantage of my old memories, highlighting the deaths of my family and friends. I even had a snapshot of how I imagined everyone reacted to my dying.