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Bladedancer (Ravos Rebirth vol:1)
chapter 31 - confessions

chapter 31 - confessions

They pestered me often during our travels. It had already been several months since leaving Kynnesville, and since sharing that dream with Sky. A couple of months since Liana started to teach the foxes about mana as they were developing a higher than average intelligence for beasts, likely through our connection and the mana they absorbed during my second class selection. They often teased me about how I had joined them in their dreams but they had yet to join me in mine.

When I asked Liana how to invite them into my soul space for a dream she had stared at me for a solid minute, confused and curious. What followed was a lecture on the dangers of inviting others into one’s soul space which had me wondering why she was the exception. She then clarified I should be able to tug on the connection with them when I went to sleep and invite them that way.

So I did just that. One night, after a relatively long day at the forge while we were stopped in a fairly small town with a population of around eighteen-hundred people, as my head hit the pillow I reached out through our pact. I felt the two foxes curl up beside me, warming my sides as they accepted the invitation. For some reason, I couldn’t help but feel nervous.

After seeing Sky’s soul space as Brioche’s den, and seeing Luka’s as a vast plains filled with groundhogs, bunnies, and flowers, I was maybe a bit worried they’d find my soul space as lacking. There was beauty there but no creatures to play with, not yet at least.

With My eyes closed, despite my nerves, I quickly fell asleep and dragged them with me. As usual, we opened our eyes at the small chapel. Immediately, Sky bounded around taking in the smell. Hearing the sound of nonexistent birds, the rustle of squirrels fat from being fed by campers. Luka sniffed at the ground, coated in pine needles and cones. A few acorns adorning the forest floor.

Then Luka surprised me. “Tour?”

I stood there flabbergasted a few moments. They still couldn’t speak normally, so when did he learn to telepathically send a message? Did Liana teach them that? As I stood there wondering about it Sky plodded back over to me and headbutted my calf. She yipped in consternation, “Can you talk to me too?”

“Yip yip.” she intoned teasingly before sending a thought to me in a high pitched, girlish voice. “Show around?”

“Since when could you do that?” Finally, broken from my stupor, I started walking down the trail towards my core. “Okay okay, tour time.”

“Pointy ears teached us papa.” Luka flopped his tail back and forth as he ran a touch ahead of me, Sky following. We walked for a little bit until we reached the tree, where I showed them the river and the cairn that was protected by the oaks roots. They seemed confused as I showed them the rocks with my loved one’s names painted on.

“This is where I keep my memories of those I have lost.” I explained slowly as I held up a stone for each of my family members who I would likely never meet again. “This stone was for my brother, Aaron.”

“Brother?” Sky questioned as she sniffed the stone. She and Luka couldn’t speak overly well, and still refused to explain how long they could, but even with simple words I could get a general idea of what they were saying.

I sat down on one of the roots and looked at the foxes. “I guess I haven’t told you about my past. Not that I really could have before now but...” I proceeded to explain about my other life. About waking up in this new world and the god that had brought me over. The foxes listened well. Sky crawled into my lap as I was speaking to them, and Luka sat at my feet looking up at me. As I finished the story I started to show them more of the stones.

“This one belongs to my grandfather. I lost him when I was a kid. And this is for my other brother Zack. My sister, Zoe, hers is over here.” I was smiling as I remembered them. Often times it was difficult to do so, but it was also nice to think about them. It was difficult as my chest ached when their images flooded my mind, when their smiles and laughs met me. I missed them, so so much. My memory skill was a touch brutal, as it allowed me to remember and feel the emotions people sometimes forget feeling. Love and loss and yearning precipitated inside of me, but I welcomed it this time rather than push it away.

“This black rock with the pink paint is for my girlfriend Jessica. Yaknow, I was going to propose to her soon. Bought a ring and everything.” I knew they pups didn’t know about marriage and proposals, and much else of human culture, but even so I lamented. “Of course, here’s a stone I made for Brioche, for your momma.”

This one they took particular interest in, of course. Luka sniffed it before giving it a respectful lick. Sky whimpered a bit in sorrow before rubbing her head against my leg like a cat wanting scratches. Both sent me an image of thanks and gratitude, as well as comfort. After a few moments of silence and remembrance, Sky sniffed at the two remaining stones.

“Ah, my parents. Lucas and Skylar, were their names.” I smiled as I took them out. It took the foxes a few moments to realize the names were so similar to theirs.

“Ah, enough sad things! A tour is what ye wanted so let me show you something more.” I stood abruptly, the stones that I had taken out moving themselves back into the cairn and other stones covered them up. I lead the way from the shore of this beach and up to the Kings Rock where I often sat to condense the mana of my core. The wisps of elemental mana still refusing to coalesce with the core danced and played with each other.

“Pretty,” Sky sent me looking up at the ball of floating mana.

After that we slowly made our way through the rest of my soul space, hiking well trod trails and looking at each of the waterfalls that adorned the mountains around us. I took them to the valley, a place I had visited many a time in my prior life. We wended our way on the paved roads towards the mountain trails and streams.

We didn’t get to see everything as, after a few hours, we were shaken awake by Adrien.

Groggily, my eyes opened and I felt the foxes stir beside me. I looked up and grumbled softly at seeing Adrien standing above me. “Fine I’m up, I’m up.” I grumbled as he ruined the journey.

Sky yipped up at him in consternation while Luka playfully attempted to nibble on the swordsman's hand. Being a good sport, he let the fox bite considering Luka could hardly harm Adrien.

It wasn’t long after we were so rudely awakened by Adrien that we departed the small town. I didn’t even get the name of it nor did I particularly care about it, what I did know was that we were growing near to Ironfell. Weeks away, in fact. There was one other, slightly larger, settlement before we made it to the city of adventurers, and after that we’d be there. We carried on down the well trodden roads, dirt rutts dug by carriages scarring the path.

For the most part, we walked in a comfortable silence, with me spending most of the time considering why Adrien seemed down. For the last few days on the road, since leaving town, Adrien and even the rest of the group had been acting cagey. It wasn’t so much that they were avoiding me - tough to avoid me when I traveled with them - but that they were nervous about something. While I was concerned I didn’t want to pry so we kept on our merry way, sticking to the usual routine.

As I walked I attempted to coerce the elemental mana within me to come out, to follow my direction. I did some workouts, mostly just running ahead to do some calisthenics or practice some of the more recent techniques I learned from Adrien and Elric. They had been teaching me during the entire journey and I could feel how much my swordsmanship had improved. Before, I was lucky to land one blow during every hundred spars with either of them. Now It was closer to one in every twenty, and I could tell they had even increased the difficulty over time as I grew more used to their styles and abilities. It also helped that I had been gaining some levels here and there.

So for the day I ignored the suspicious behavior of Adrien avoiding looking me in the eyes, the entire group skirting around a variety of questions like what they planned to do when we reached the large city of Ironfell, why they were going there in the first place. Several days had passed with me asking these questions as I grew more and more excited for the Festival of Rhosha. When Adrien had told me the story about her back in Kinnesville he had said she was challenged yearly, but the event now only took place once every decade. That we would make it in time was amazing, and I was thrilled at the idea of competing.

I had been told there was a bracket for each class rank. As in, I would likely be able to compete with others who were level 125 or below, while Elric and Adrien would have to compete with others who were level 250 or below. That there wasn't a tournament for those higher level than that wasn't overly surprising, few exceeded the level 250 threshold. Each class upgrade came with their own challenges, the biggest being that one had to reach the level in the first place without dying. As one grew in level, the harder it became to level up further. The more experience was needed, the more insight was needed to upgrade skills, and the more dangerous the foes one would face would be. In the early levels there wasn’t much variance in the monsters and beasts one could hunt for experience, but as mortals grew so too did beasts and monsters. And so too did their capabilities become more varied.

This was to say, that there were not enough interested swordsman who were over level two hundred and fifty to hold a tournament for just them. Some years a few would express interest and put on an entertaining exhibition match to entertain the masses and prove which of these rivals were more skilled with a blade, but the last time that happened was seven decades ago.

I focused on thoughts of this tournament as we walked, considering if I should compete. On the one hand, I doubted I’d reach level one twenty five in the next four months, and doubted even more that if I rushed it I’d be able to develop my skills to match my level. A few times I started to ask questions of my companions or even spark up conversation. Okay, fine, the comfortable silence was much more awkward than I would like. Elric still treated me normal but the others kept throwing glances to Adrien so I stopped making conversation and instead went running ahead.

It wasn’t until two days later that I found out why Adrien was being so awkward. We had made camp, and I had finished all of my nightly trainings. The others were sitting around the fire nursing bowls of stew that I had made with some groundhogs Luka and Sky brought back. Even the foxes had their own bowls of warm, delicious stew. I poured a bowl for myself, having just given everyone theirs. I figured I should probably cook a little as that was my initial promise when I begged them to take me with them.

I sat down on a log, the wooden bowl in my hands pleasantly warm and the steam washing up to my face, bringing with it an herby, earthy and meaty scent. I groaned internally as I started to eat, not waiting for it too cool down. I used some herbs that my mother had shown me for medicine as well as some veggies we bought at the last town.

It was crazy to me that it had only been around five months of travel with this group of adventurers. Even crazier to think that aside from my time in Kinnesville and the battle with the wyrm, not much of interest had happened. Growing up, especially after having lived an extremely mundane life before, I had fantasized about my future adventures and the legend I would write into this world. So far, my journey had none of that.

The most I could claim to have done was help my party of much stronger teammates in distracting a sand wyrm, maybe even saving another team member from that same foe. At least I made an impression on the lass in Kinnesville, Kristen, but even so my quest to forge a legend was beginning rather slowly. The only other claim to fame I could attribute to my story was gaining a seed in my early levels, which would undoubtedly aid me going forward, or could even detriment me if it proved too powerful for me to handle down the road. But, to my frustration, I still had difficulty controlling it. Especially the elemental mana surrounding my core. Each time I attempted to use it, when it did relent, I experienced significant backlash.

Once, when I attempted to force the lightning mana to work with me, the spell exploded much like the fire blade spell did. The lightning mana wound up exploding upwards and paralyzing me for forty minutes, refusing to allow me to turn it into a blade. Thankfully, when I used the pure mana from my core the spells still worked, though it was growing harder to control it. It was infuriating and confounding. I was doing all that Liana said she and those she was trained with did. Even though I had more affinities, they shouldn't be rejecting me so severely, according to her.

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Why cant I use my mana? Is it because of the seed? I asked myself as I enjoyed the hearty stew. I ate slowly, paying no mind to my companions as they were talking to each other. I sent a message to Luka through our pact. “Luka, how do you use your earth mana?” I asked him knowing he couldn't reply very in depth just yet.

According to my team, bonded animals developed telepathic communication abilities at relatively low levels. It was in part due to the shared traits between beasts and their bonds. I wasn’t sure what traits they had that carried over to me. Maybe something about being a free spirit and wanting to explore, though that was already something I had. Either way, during each class evolution I’d likely take on more of their traits and instincts. Just as they'd take some of mine when their races evolved.

Beasts didn’t have classes but gained racial evolutions. They could potentially learn a similar amount of skills but for them they were more like instinctual abilities. They did not select anything, except for during their evolutions. It was really interesting, and I couldn't wait to pick up a couple of books related to the subject. Unfortunately, nobody in my traveling group knew much about companion pacts or beast evolutions and so couldn't provide much insight.

Luka just responded with a shrug and sent a message saying he just does it. It comes naturally, in other words. I shook my head in frustration, not receiving the insight I had hoped for.

“Lios. Lios, Ravos to Lios!” I pulled myself out of my stupor and looked up to see Adrien, looking amused, standing over me. The tattooed man looked a bit shy but was still able to laugh at my zoning out.

“Yes Adrien, what is it?” I took another spoonful of stew to my mouth, it had cooled down a bit while I was lost in thought. The flavor was still pretty good, and I was pretty impressed with my cooking. Still, what I wouldn’t give to have some good beef stroganoff.

“I have to tell you something. Please let me speak till I’m done, then ask any questions you may have.” His voice took on a grave tone, and I shifted in my seat to show him he had my full attention. And not just mine, the others were watching intently. They each were shifting in their makeshift seats, seeming somewhat nervous. Even Elric, the typically calm and collected, looked away as I glanced at him and wrung his hands a bit.

“Okay you're starting to spook me. What is it?”

“First. I would like to apologize on behalf of my party. We have spent the last several months debating how much to tell you.” His accent was entirely missing for once. He inhaled deeply before slowly releasing it. “We are not all that we said we are. Like you we have a few secrets and the main one is our identity, the second it what that means for you.

“Liana is the third princess of the elvish kingdom, Arwin, to the south. She was sent to the kingdom as a vassal, a representation of the alliance and peace treaties between Jorial and Arwin. Elric is a member of a powerful merchant family from the north, from Marthis. I grew up with him and his father, as a means to establish a connection with my family, asked that we allow him to journey with me. I don't know if you are aware but Marthis is an oligarchy of sorts, it is primarily run by the dwarves but there are powerful families of other races as well. His father is the representative of the human families within their counsel of elderfolk.”

My eyebrows furrowed but I didn’t interrupt. I briefly considered that they could be playing a prank on me, but quickly wrote off the thought. They were each being too serious. This time when I looked at Elric he simply gave me a half smile and nodded at me. I felt a bit of frustration, not quite anger, building up inside of me. My cheeks were flush as I glanced at Liana, realizing I had been traveling with an elvish noblewoman for months. Zach would be sooo jealous if he knew. Unbidden, a thought of my brother and his adoration for playing elves in video games, and Lord of the Rings, came to my mind and I had to stop myself from smiling as I refocused on Adrien.

“Amelia is the inheritor of the Crimson Keep, although that is a title that doesn't hold much bearing as the current keeper has been alive for over five centuries. The Crimson Keep is a... holy land, of sorts, for the undead kingdom. It isn’t an official nation but more of a-”

“The Undead Kingdom is more like a guild that monitors the activities of undead citizenry. The Crimson Keep is essentially the Rulers Seat of this guild, and is where those who represent the various undead races meet to ensure that our kind are living fruitful lives without risk of endangering mortals as well as where we gauge the discontent revolving around our peoples. Of course, not everyone accepts vampires, lich’s, ghouls, death knights, or the other ilk of the Nethermaiden, so my progenitor and those of the other races use the Crimson Keep to ensure the mortals have no reason to or plan to eradicate us.” Amelia interjected to better explain her lineage and the importance of the keep. I opened my mouth to say something but not before Adrien continued.

“Just so. Thank you Amelia. Lastly, I am,” He paused for several seconds, clearly more nervous than the others were, “The second son of His Majesty, King Trayarch Airos. I am second in line for the throne although I have little interest in ruling Jorial. My elder sister is instead the one slated to take the throne upon my father’s retirement. As for why I believe this information to affect you, Lios of Arborton, well its a bit complicated really.

“I fear that when I return to the capital, to which we will depart after the tournament of Rhosha, my father and possibly a few others will learn of you. No specifics but they will likely know about your seed and your class to a small extent. It will interest both my elder sister and my father and you will receive an invitation to the capital. When this happens, you will not be able to lie to either of them, my father possesses many great abilities including surface level mind reading and his retainers have lie detection skills among other things.”

He stopped talking and looked at me for a few moments as I thought about it all. I frowned deeply and looked at each of my traveling companions in turn. A lot of thoughts were rushing through my head. That I was being betrayed, that the oath they took upon revealing the seed was obsolete with his fathers ability. That he knew of all of that prior to taking the oath. It made me feel justified at keeping my bigger secret but, his confession also made me want to stop hiding behind it. I was fearful how people would react to it, but I didn’t think these people who had become my friends, would react negatively. Still it made me glad I waited to tell them, considering his father, the king for gods sakes, would know about it as soon as he talked about me. There was one very important question on my mind as these thoughts raced through my head.

“So... are you going to stop doing that shitty accent now that I know?” I tilted my head and smirked a little bit. I wasn’t all that angry even if I should be. The fact that he was so terrified of talking about, to the point of being nervous for days, that they all were, told me how ready they were for me to be upset. How much they all expected it. But, even though I should have been, it felt good to find out their truths. They took a stance of vulnerability by telling me, and the fact they kept their identities secret in the first place gave my rage pause. They were trusting me with their truth, as I had evidently wrongfully trusted them with mine.

Adrien started to laugh deeply, a bellowing chuckle. “Thats the first thing you say? Unreal.” He kept laughing for a few moments as the others also did.

“Truthfully, there is much I want to ask and say but I feel most isn’t helpful. I’m pissed, of course, but I now understand why you tend to take so much burden on your shoulders. This must have been eating away at you for a bit.” I frowned at them each. Glancing in their directions I noticed some of the tension was back from me expressing my ire, albeit politely, vanished from the accent comment. “When I’m called to meet the king, as you said was likely to happen, how deep will the interview go? How likely is it that he will uncover my own secrets?”

“It... if he isn’t aware of the existence of it it’s unlikely he will know to ask for it, but the fact that I know there is one more big thing you are reluctant to share means its fairly likely he will have curiosities about it and will ask questions to learn of it. My father is a king first, he will want to determine if the various assets in the nation, especially those who have the capacity to level a city,” He gave me a pointed nod before continuing, “is not a threat to the nation. So, he will probably require you to share it even if it is only with those closest to him such as his advisors and my sister.”

“So, in short, he will learn of it even if I don't tell you.” Adrien nodded with a look of confusion and guilt on his face. “In that case, mayhap I should stop hiding behind it? It does tend to be exhausting keeping things like this to myself. What do you think, Prince?”

I noticed Amelia start to smirk as she leaned forward. Any hesitation when it came to sharing her and her friends secrets gone, replaced by excitement at finally learning mine. Adrien looked shocked for a few moments before he nodded. “I would be honored to know what you have been holding onto for so long, especially at a young age. There is also truth in what you say, keeping up the facade is draining on the best of days. After the wyrm incident I wanted to tell you but had to stop myself. We were tasked with traveling through Jorial and to help the citizens and smaller towns that rarely got attention from adventurers but we had to do so while our identities were hidden for political reasons. If the people knew it was me who was helping them there is a chance they’d advocate I take the throne rather than my sister, who is much more capable in such a position. That, and, we didn’t want to have local lords fawning over us and inhibiting our goals of evaluating the state of the nation.”

I took a few seconds to process this, and tried to quell the impulsive urge to confess everything. Whats the worst that happens? They don't believe me? I get locked up for being crazy? I guess Adrien or Elric could kill me... that would kinda suck... I mused for a few moments before I stood up abruptly, much to the curled up fox’s consternation.

I started to nervously pace as everyone silently watched me consider it. “Okay. I trust this will mostly stay within this circle and possibly that of the leadership of this nation?” I received solemn nods in return. “Okay here goes. Im from another world. I was born there, lived there for almost thirty years, and evidently I died. I’m not sure how. After I died I met a god, Miamora, whos form shifted and twisted chaotically. I was in a white plane and given a few options. Number one, to go to hell. This was the gods favorite. Two, to remain in the white plane until my soul dissipated. Three was to be reborn back on my old world as a different person and with no memories.”

I took a deep breath even though I had already revealed all that would be necessary to toss me into a looney bin. I was speaking quickly and needed to slow it down a little bit. “And lastly, I would be reborn into a new world with no possibility to return to mine, with all of my memories intact save for those deemed dangerous for this world. This god was also the one that planted the seed within me. I’m not sure why I was allowed to be reincarnated like this, and honestly I don’t truly care, but I feel as though that god wants something from me. No idea what.”

I stopped speaking as the group stared at me for a solid minute. Elric was the one who broke the silence.

“I’ve never heard of that happening. No wonder you wanted to keep it a secret. All this time you’ve talked about loss as though you experienced it and I didn’t understand.” His voice was gruff as he stood up and walked towards me. He held out a hand and smiled a toothy smile that lit up his face. “A pleasure to properly meet you, the name is Elric Proste, heir of the Proste spice empire!”

I took his hand and shook it. “Alexilios, heir to nothing and formerly known as Isaac Duran.” The others came towards me, smiling although there was some concern on Liana’s and Amelia's faces.

“How old were you when you died? Didn't you kiss that young girl in Kinnesville?” Liana asked and I blanched.

“Well, yes, but it was nothing more than that. Why do you think I feel so weird with girls my age liking me?”

“Come now, he’s still a boy. Not like older women are gonna help satiate his needs.” Adrien teased from the side. “Adrien Airos, second in line to the throne of Jorial.”

“Amelia Silverblood, inheritor of the Crimson Keep, and adventurer extraordinaire.” Amelia took my hand next, a glimmer in her eyes. “Soooo, what were the stories about vampires where you're from?”

“I’ll tell you later, there’s many of them. I can share a good many stories on the road. I used to be quite the reader, though now it feels like I’m able to live in the books I read.” I shook my head, recognizing how absurd everything was. Cant believe I just told them... am I still so impulsive? Oh well, feels good to be honest about who I am.

“Liana Wyspyn, third to the throne of Arwin. I have so many questions but they can wait. I am sure you have your concerns too.” She gave me a hug instead of a handshake and whispered in my ear, “I can’t imagine how hard it’s been. Know that you can rely on us.”

It truly felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders as she said that. I smiled as a tear or two or five rolled down my cheek before she released the hug. “It was difficult. Terrifying even. I was pulled away from everything I knew and when I started growing up again I was frustrated, at first, but soon came to realize I had been granted a second chance. One that I refuse to squander.”

I looked over at Amelia, “So, was the secret worth the wait?”

“Hmmm... I dunno.. I mean do you know how many people are reborn with their memories intact?” She acted as though it was barely news but I could tell that she had been just as shocked as everyone else.

“No, I don’t, how many?”

Adrien was the one who spoke next, to my surprise. “Not one recorded incident that I’ve heard of. But, as a side note, what was your world like?”

I laughed at the curiosity that expressed itself on everyone's faces. I started to explain about Earth, how it had no mana and levels. How everyone was so much weaker but how we made it work with technology. I again tried to explain things that had been ripped out my head, things I should have known but no longer did in spite of my memory skill. After a bit I was asked about my personal relationships, hobbies, even my pets and as I described different things their curiosity only grew.

The next few days were spent telling stories while we wound our way towards the last small town before the million strong city of Ironfell, the largest city on the boarder of Jorial. I was in the middle of telling a story from nordic mythos and we had devolved into a discussion about the possibility of how many gods there were, what gods actually were, when Luka came scurrying back from his recent hunt.

“Well, I mean, it can’t be a coincidence that your world has worshiped how many gods? You said around three thousand?” Elric pointed out. “Between all of your worlds pantheons I find it difficult to understand how the world as a whole came to the conclusion there was only one god. Even if they disagree on the details.”

“Yea, I don’t really know. I mean I never held much faith in gods, and even after meeting one can’t bring it to myself to show them any true reverence. But I agree, its hard to imagine they didn’t exist at all after meeting one and learning of this worlds deities.” I shrugged as we walked. The landscape was the same and a s boring as it had been for the past few months. Grassy hills rolling over the horizon and sparse trees littered the plains to our left while an arid desert was only a few miles to our right. We hadn’t encountered much that needed to be killed and so, aside from some hunts, barely had any action outside of my training with the boys.

“I mean, the fact that your world had so many maybe means that the gods were regional? That doesn’t make much sense either. What if-” Liana was cut off by a yip as Luka came charging down the road, sending me images of smoke and the scent of blood.