Billy sat on a hill, overlooking vast plains of red rock. A single road carved a path through the dusty plains, leading to a city far in the distance. Even from far away, The Great Wizard Pope King's Mighty Heaven Piercing Tower was clearly visible. It was perfectly smooth, round cylinder standing tall and erect. It looked like a flagpole had been taken from Earth, and plopped on an alien planet; only it was a million times larger.
'How large is that tower? I can see it from miles away, and it reaches far past the clouds...' Billy turned towards the local forest. 'I am definitely in a strange new world. The trees have green trunks, and leaves colored red and purple! I don't think there is any grass at all, only endless fields of dusty, red rock.'
Billy reached into his pocket, pulled out a small scroll, and tore it in half.
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Name : Billy
Level : 1
Level progress : 0/100
Physique : 10
Mana : 10
Will : 20
Skills :
ERROR : Appraisal Blocked
Passive :
Level Growth x2 : Increased Leveling Speed. Increased Leveling Gains.
Stat Growth x2 : Increased Stat Growth.
Skill Master x2 : Increased Skill Acquisition. Increased Skill Proficiency.
Heroic Aura : Increased likelihood of seducing female humans. Increased likelihood of instilling Desperation status effect in seduced females. Increased likelihood of instilling Obsessed status effect in seduced females.
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Billy buried his head in his hands. 'How can this world be so cruel? I am but a pure, innocent homosexual. Why must my "Heroic Aura" curse me with the attention of desperate harlots? I can't even escape the female gaze in another world...'
Billy remembered all the times his female coworkers had stared at him with strange looks on their face, and how they had trembled whenever he was nearby. Billy collapsed to the ground in tears. 'Every place I go, women can't even handle my presence! Why must I be cursed with such an attractive figure? I can seduce any girl I want, but I am gay! I guess that is the fate of men as great as me. I have no other choice but to bear this immense burden all on my own! A true hero must be willing to make sacrifices, for it is his duty! Still...'
Billy sat up and pouted. 'Why can't the passive skill seduce guys though? That is totally unfair!'
A cute young man skipped towards Billy, and waved enthusiastically. "Hey Billy~ You finished checking your status? "
"Just finished, Mister Trainer. My physique has finally reached ten. I think I'm ready for some skills."
Mister Trainer began clapping. "Amazing! You are getting stronger so fast! You are truly blessed~"
Billy stared off into the distance, and watched as a pair of strange birds flew high into the sky, as if reaching for the top of the world. "That's one way of looking at it..."
Mister Trainer began skipping away. "Well, let's get going! Once you learn these skills you can try leveling~"
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Billy watched Mister Trainer as they skipped away. 'Damn, they are hot! Why must love between us be forebidden? Screw you, Great Wizard Pope King Jerry!'
The last week had been hell. Living together in a log cabin with a handsome, fit young man, and training shirtless together everyday. They even shared the same bed! Yet, nothing would ever come of it...
Billy got up and followed after Mister Trainer.
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Billy and Mister Trainer walked through the local village on the way towards their training area in the woods, and Billy admired the now-familiar sights of the quaint little hamlet.
Golden rays of sunlight bathed the town in warmth and merriment. A breeze carried with it the smell of baking pies, crisp apple cider, and horse shit. The village children were out running around; spreading mischief and fun. The young kids were laughing with glee as they beat each other bloody with sticks, threw stones at the funky-looking kid with glasses, and played around in mounds of horse shit.
The men of the village were out in the rocky fields, tending to a bulbous mound of gyrating flesh called "Grainnut Sacks". These sticky, throbbing, fleshy plants fermented a special nut inside their cyst-like sacks. Once the sacks were ripe; they would pop, and spew out sticky clumps of goop that contained the nutritious Grainnut. The men tending the Grainnut fields, for no particular reason, smelled like horseshit.
The women of the village gathered at church, and gleefully gossiped as they partook in a series of delightful religious ceremonies. The women would periodically whip themselves, and would recite prayers to God and their great ruler; the Great Wizard Pope King of Humanity. The women, also, smelled like horseshit.
Billy smiled as he strolled past decrepit mud huts, created using horseshit, that the villagers considered home. 'Ah, what a disgusting, rotten place. Oh, how I hate every second I spend here!'
Mister Trainer looked towards Billy, and smiled. "It is a wonderful town, is it not? Everyone here is so nice~"
Billy's smile grew wider. "Truly, nothing can compare to this town!"
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"Eek! Billy, come quick! I need you to kill this spider."
Billy frowned. "Sure, but why can't you do it? It's just a spider..." Billy squashed the spider that had been crawling on Mister Trainer's ass.
Mister trainer sighed. "As I told you, Trainers are unable to kill living creatures and level up. That includes icky, grubby insects."
Billy shook his head. "Even insects..." Billy rubbed his hands together. "No matter. I am ready for training!"
"Alrighty! Come stand over here..."
Billy rushed over. "Alrighty, what do I do no-"
Mister Trainer stood behind Billy, and grabbed his hands. "Okey Dokey! So, to activate the skill you need to shout 'Physique Enhancement!', and perform this specific series of hand movements..." Mister Trainer demonstrated the movements using Billy's hands.
Mister Trainer stepped back. "Alrighty! Now it's your turn!"
Billy stared at his hands. 'Those hand movements were rather simple. I think I have it figured out. However...'
Billy blushed. "I don't think I got it yet, could you show me again?"
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Several hours later, Billy had mastered Physique Enhancement. He had also learned two weapon skills.
"Basic Thrust! Basic Swing! Basic Thru-"
Billy was currently testing out the new skills on a group of criminals that had been sent to him from the Capital.
Billy wiped the sweat and blood from his brow. "Wow, skills are great! My physical power skyrockets when using Physique Enhancement!"
Mister Trainer nodded. "I can't imagine life without them! I still can't comprehend this world without skills you tell me of..."
Billy grinned as he stabbed his spear into the back of a criminal who had been trying to crawl away after losing her legs. Suddenly, Billy stumbled. "What was that? I suddenly felt a surge of strength!"
Mister Trainer whistled. "That must mean you have already reached level 2. That's an impressive speed, your passive skills must be pretty good."
Billy took out an Appraisal Scroll, and ripped it in half.
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Name : Billy
Level : 2
Level progress : 355/1000
Physique : 200
Mana : 200
Will : 400
Skills :
ERROR : Appraisal Blocked
Physique Enhancement : Multiplies physique by 1.25 for 500 heartbeats. Body fatigues faster
Basic Thrust : Stronger thrusting motion. Body fatigues faster
Basic Swing : Stronger swing motion. Body fatigues faster
Passive :
Level Growth x2 : Increased Leveling Speed. Increased Leveling Gains.
Stat Growth x2 : Increased Stat Growth.
Skill Master x2 : Increased Skill Acquisition. Increased Skill Proficiency.
Heroic Aura : Increases likelihood of seducing female humans. Increased likelihood of instilling Desperation status effect in seduced females. Increased likelihood of instilling Obsessed status effect in seduced females.
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Billy froze as the status information entered his brain. "All my stats are twenty times as high as they were before! This is crazy!"
Mister Trainer laughed. "Twenty times? Your passive skills must be amazing! Growth between levels is usually around ten times more. I wonder how strong you will be at level five? I can't wai-"
At that moment, a villager raced towards them, screaming. "Quick, Hero! A monster has attacked the village!"
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The Great Wizard Pope King Jerry sat at the very top of his tower, looking out across all the human lands. From this high up not a single man, from the poorest peasant to the richest noble, could hope to escape his gaze.
Jerry held a Divine Appraisal stone in his hand as he looked in the direction of a nearby village. "Oh my, a level 3 monster has attacked! Seems like I will get to properly evaluate the Hero's potential..."
Jerry crushed the Divine Appraisal stone in his hands, and a golden energy was released. The energy tore through the air; ripping through matter at the atomic level. Jerry waved his hands, mumbled an alien chant, and the energy began to seep into his skin.
"Finally! I think I gained a level! It has been far too long..."