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Billy’s Appraisal

Billy and the Great Wizard Pope King Jerry were once again alone in the void. A plane where, no matter where one looked, all that could be seen was darkness.

"System? Monster training? What are you talking about?"

Jerry shook his head. "Wow, you actually don't have a System in your world? Such a strange concept, I didn't even believe it when I read that on the spell... No matter, I shall explain it quickly."

Jerry waved his wand, and a series of diagrams were scattered throughout the void; painting the darkness with an uncountable amount of peculiar images.

"The System is what gives all living creatures their strength. This strength is measured in levels, and you gain levels through killing other living creatures, " Jerry pointed towards the diagram of a man stabbing a dog with a stick, " and all living creatures give a certain amount of energy, which is dependent upon their level."

Billy froze. "So you can get stronger just by killing other creatures, no questions asked? Why are people not going around slaughtering each other all the time then? How has society survived?"

Jerry shrugged. "Eh, it happens sometimes. I Just have to send someone with a higher level to keep the peasants in their place. If I receive rumors of illegal leveling, I usually send a noble to slaughter all living creatures in the area. "Jerry clapped his hands and giggled. "Oh, how I love it when that occurs! I get to dish out divine punishment upon heretics, and I get a large amount of gold from the highest bidding noble! It is a shame our population is too small to do that very often now..."

Billy wiped the sweat from his brow, and forced out a smile. "Yes, that sounds absolutely delightful. I respect your ability to lead!"

Jerry smiled. "Thanks, I get that a lot." He then pointed to the diagram of a handsome Great Wizard Pope King, with massive muscles, being praised by a large volume of voluptuous women.

Jerry coughed. "Now, lets get back on topic. Levels are very important in this world. It is nearly impossible to defeat someone with a higher level than yourself, except in certain rare cases," Jerry pointed to a diagram of a handsome Great Wizard Pope King, with bulging biceps, using the power of friendship and God to defeat their foes. "Occasionally, by exposing oneself to the eyes of God whilst brimming with emotion, you shall be filled with a divine power; the power to slaughter all the fools who stand in your way!"

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Billy raised an eyebrow. "The power of friendship and... God?"

Jerry shrugged. "Yeah, don't count on it though. God has some rather... strange criteria when it comes to these sorts of things." For a quick moment Jerry frowned.

Billy nodded his head. "Of course, your majesty. I thank you sincerely for this information"

Jerry nodded. "Yes, of course. Now, " Jerry put both hands on his staff and grinned, "let us proceed with the appraisal!"

A wave of golden energy was released from the staff, and it crashed upon Billy. The golden energy crackled as it surged throughout Billy's entire body, casting the room in a golden hue. This energy continued searching every cell of Billy right until-

-it suddenly stopped.

Jerry's eyes bulged, and his mouth hung wide open. "Oh my God. You have a Divine Ability!"

Billy nodded his head. "Yes, of course, a Divine Ability... what's that?"

"Divine Abilities are unique abilities crafted by God! They are all extremely powerful, and once harnessed all but guarantees immense power. There has been no other time in history where multiple humans had Divine Abilities in one era! This is clearly the beginning of something marvelous!" Jerry clasped his hands together, and mumbled a prayer towards God.

Billy licked his lips. "So I have an extremely powerful and unique ability? An ability that ensures I am immensely powerful?"

Jerry nodded.

Billy grinned, and rubbed his hands together. "Alright! How do I activate it?"

"No damn clue."

"... What?"

Jerry shrugged. "I can't appraise a Divine Ability, it is too powerful. Since you can't figure out how to activate an ability without getting it appraised, you're not gonna be able to figure it out until you find yourself a Divine Appraisal Stone."

"A Divine Appraisal Stone? You don't have any?"

...

Jerry stared at Billy for a second. Then, he began to shake with laughter. "One does not just casually possess Divine Items. Those are hand crafted by God themself! If God saw that you were just letting a holy gift from the heavens rot in some vault, you would surely be eradicated!"

Billy frowned. "So how do I acquire a Divine Appraisal stone?"

"You don't. You can only hope God gifts you one. It will most likely be a reward for overcoming many dangerous journeys." Jerry stroked his chin, "However... you could perhaps try guessing the activation. A skill is activated by saying a phrase, and enacting the corresponding body movements. It is theoretically possible to happen upon it through pure coincidence."

Billy closed his eyes. 'A Divine Ability from God... I am sure I can guess it! If it is unique then I am certain it is related to my personality in some way...' Realization dawned upon Billy. He opened his eyes. 'Of course! I can easily figure this ability out. Nobody knows me more than I do!'

Time slowed to a crawl, and a strange wind began blowing throughout the dark void. A golden mist gathered around Billy, as if to witness what was about to occur. Billy stood tall, and thrust his hands towards his chest. He raised his eyes towards the heavens, and proudly roared for all to hear!

"Nipple Hardening!!"

But nothing happened.

Billy furrowed his brow. 'Damn. I was completely confident in my chances of success there. What went wrong?'

Jerry was frozen. "... That was a joke, right?"

Billy scoffed. "Of course not! I merely guessed that a Divine Ability would have something to do with my personality. I am still completely confident my Divine Ability involves nipples in some form..."

"... Let us just proceed with the tour." Jerry waved his hand once again, and they began with the tour!