A hero is a person who can overcome adversity. A villain is a person who causes harm to others. That's what we teach children, in order to prepare them for the future. This simple duality gives us a sense of justice when we read stories. Someone is good, and someone is evil. The hero wins; he defeats the villain. But what if the story isn't that black and white? What if we're taught to believe that everyone is either a victim or a criminal and that both these types are somehow opposites? What if the answer is somewhere in between?

The world is gray, not black and white. And humans are just as complex. We tell ourselves that the dark parts of our nature are ugly, but in reality, they might be beautiful too. In fact, that darkness might be exactly what keeps us alive. Our flaws, our fears, and our weaknesses, all these things that make us human, are not inherently bad, just as they aren't necessarily good. The only thing that defines us is how we deal with those parts of us. I wish I could say that to Yumiko in the past, to explain why I chose to stay inside my own darkness. But I didn't know that myself until much later. If I had accepted the truth sooner, maybe I would be a different man from today. Maybe I wouldn't have let so many years pass before I faced my demons.

Yumiko left me soon after. There was no goodbye. She simply disappeared, leaving me behind in that vast forest. This practice would become quite common over the years. She would disappear and not come back. When I asked the villagers about it, they told me they couldn't help. Later I learned that she would get really sick sometimes and they would take her away. So I spent my days wandering that endless forest, waiting for her return. She would come back eventually, and I hoped that in between those absences, she found some happiness. But those times were short. Eventually, she would leave again, and I would wait.

My life didn't get much better during those years. I continued to work in the fields, helping my father with their chores. Yet even though I worked hard, I never felt like I had accomplished much. I was content to live my life exactly how I had always done, but I knew that if I didn't change something soon, my solitude would become a burden. Meanwhile, Akio's life was smooth sailing. He started to help out in the village, working alongside his father. They decided it was finally time for him to join the village militia, which meant that he began training every day. His father was a Sargeant in the army, and by the time Akio was eighteen years old, he looked twice as strong as when I last saw him.

He was always smiling and joking around. Sometimes I would hear rumors about him getting into trouble with his friends, but he always seemed to get out of it without a scratch. The villagers loved him, and he even had a small group of admirers among the younger girls. Girls would throw themselves at his feet to ask him to marry them, and then they'd cry tears of joy when he rejected their proposal. At least that's what they said.

Sometimes I would see him walking through the village and I remember feeling envious. Why did he have everything? All I had was loneliness and a vague hope that one day Yumiko would come back. Then the thoughts would fade away and I would walk by, pretending not to notice. It wasn't fair. I shouldn't have had to go through all this while he was happy without care. Life was unfair.

Then one day, two years after Yumiko last came to visit me, there was a strange sound outside my window. I was still young enough that I used to spend most of my nights waiting for her to appear. I still hadn't accepted that I could find happiness without her, and I kept hoping that she would come back. That day, I heard her voice.

"Zenta?".

I rushed to open the window. I peeked out the window to see a girl standing on my porch. It was her. She was wearing a thin cotton robe that was decorated with colorful flowers. I could see her face clearly now, despite all the years of separation. She looked just as she had always done. Her hair was been tied up in the same way. She smiled at me and said, "Hi".

It took me a moment to realize what was happening. I had thought about Yumiko so many times that I had convinced myself that she was gone forever. But here she was, standing right outside my house. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I couldn't believe it.

She reached up to touch my cheek, and I was surprised by the softness of her hand. She leaned down and kissed me softly on my forehead. My heart raced, pounding against my chest. For a moment, the world went dark. I heard someone shouting my name, but I couldn't move.

"Is this a dream?" I murmured.

"No," she said and squeezed my arm tightly. "This is real."

For a second, I was terrified that this was just another trick. I tried to pull away, but she tightened her grip. I struggled and she pushed me toward her. The moment stretched on until finally, I realized she was holding my hand. We held hands for a few moments before she pulled me closer and whispered, "I missed you".

A tear rolled down my cheek. I had forgotten how it felt to be touched by someone. After so long, I suddenly felt alive again. I remembered how it felt to hold her hand. I wanted to kiss her lips, to feel her skin, but I didn't know how to do it. I grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her close. This time she let herself fall against me, and we embraced. We stayed there for an eternity.

—We humans tend to remember the best parts of our pasts, ignoring the pain or negative emotions as if nothing happened—, Suman said, —But the darkness, too, can be a part of who we are—.

I was in shock. The memories all came flooding back. In that instant, all the love I had felt for her was replaced by anger. The sudden realization that she had abandoned me broke my heart. I don't know how long I stood there, staring at nothing.

—That's why I'm here—, I finally said.

The words were barely audible above the sobbing that poured from my throat. I turned away and started pacing around the cave. Suman watched me silently as I absorbed all this information. He never spoke. After a few minutes, I stopped and looked over at him. His eyes were full of sympathy, but he remained silent. I remembered how gentle he had always been. To think that he had once been like me must have been difficult for him.

—Do you remember what happened next?—, he asked gently.

My mind wandered back to that day. I remembered running into the woods. There was something wrong with me. I couldn't control my body. I tried to stop but my legs kept moving. No, that was later. My memories of the day I reunited with Yumiko had faded, but there was still some clarity left. I remembered that I had been confused, angry, and afraid, but didn't know why.

By that time, we were both I had seventeen years. I no longer looked like a child, but I was still small compared to other boys. She seemed healthier than ever, though. She had grown taller and stronger, and even her hair was thicker. She had taken up calligraphy during her sickness and spent hours practicing every day. She never told me what had happened to her, and I never asked. I knew she wouldn't tell me.

I followed her through the trees in one of our favorite places. We would spend hours exploring the forest together. Sometimes we would get lost until night time. Other times we would just sit quietly, talking about nothing important. One thing I did notice was that she was always smiling. As if she was more grateful than anyone else in the world.

Yumiko had always been beautiful. Even when she spent her days in bed, barely able to move. Now, she was breathtaking. Her skin was flawless, her eyes bright, and her hair shiny. It was like looking at a vision of perfection. The first sight of her made my heart race and my stomach flip. I couldn't believe she was really there. Her smile faltered when she noticed me watching her, and she quickly hid behind a tree. I felt stupid for having missed her presence. I walked over to her, trying my hardest not to stare. When I got closer, I saw that she was crying.

—Are you alright?—, I asked.

She nodded and wiped her tears. Then she looked up at me, a sad expression on her face.

—I'm so happy—, she said quietly.

Her words cut through me. My heart ached as I took her in my arms. I closed my eyes and held her tight. Nothing had ever felt better. She smelled like flowers, her hair tickled my nose. I felt dizzy. All those months without her had been agony. I had thought about her constantly. Every waking moment brought me endless torment.

When we finally parted, she took off the ribbon that held her hair in place. A soft breeze blew her bangs, and strands fell across her forehead. I reached out to brush them aside but she shook her head.

—Don't touch it—, she said softly, —It's special—.

She saw the necklace she had given me, and her eyes grew wide. She reached for it and stared at the pendant for a long time. Then she smiled and gave me another hug.

—You kept it—, she whispered.

The memory faded away, leaving me in the dark.

—What happened next?—, Suman asked.

I looked back at the fire, thinking. I could see the glow of its flames reflected in his eyes.

—Later that year, you woke up—, I said slowly.

A week passed since that night. Life was better than ever before. I loved spending time with Yumiko. She helped me forget my past, and now we had so much fun together. We talked about everything. She taught me calligraphy and we drew pictures together. I told her I stopped hunting and was finally getting good at blacksmithing. We spent so many nights sitting near the river, talking. She sang songs for me, and I listened attentively. Our relationship grew stronger every day. As I remembered, my fear grew, knowing that we would eventually part ways forever. It was hard to believe that I had ended here after such beautiful memories. I was sure that I would grow old with Yumiko, and that we would be together until the end of time.

It was inevitable, nonetheless, that our time together would come to an end. It was impossible to keep Yumiko for myself. The people around us would want to claim her for their own. Many men and women came to visit us from the village. Some wanted her as a concubine, others simply desired her affection. Yumiko, unlike me, was a social being. I was jealous of all the attention she received. And yet, she stayed by my side. People from the village wanted to be her friend; they flocked to her like bees to honey. But she only had eyes for me. At least that's how I saw it. That didn't stop them from coming to me, begging to take her away.

I forced myself to engage with other people only because I knew how much she need it. I tried to make friends, but I was still the same boy they had despised. They didn't understand the bond I shared with Yumiko. For some reason, she wasn't bothered by these strangers and quickly befriended them. After a while, they invited her out on trips, or to gatherings. She seemed happier than I had seen her in a long time. I was glad she was enjoying herself, but I began to worry that if she spent too much time away from me, she might change. One day I will have to let her go, I realized.

One evening, while Yumiko was gone, I sat alone on top of the hill looking down on the village. All was quiet and calm. The stars twinkled above the trees, and I watched them for a while. I had never taken notice of their beauty before. The sky was filled with countless sparkling lights, reminding me of the promise I had made that night. Yumiko had told me that when she was sick, the stars would guide her safely home. Now I understood what she meant.

After a few minutes, the wind picked up and blew leaves onto my lap. I brushed them away and noticed something strange. There were three feathers lying among the fallen leaves. They glinted in the moonlight and caught my eye. I was starting to see the world as she did. Finding immense beauty in everything, even the smallest things. I gently gathered them into my palm. I held it close and closed my eyes. One day she must leave me, I thought. She will fly away and return to the stars.

I spent the rest of the night dreaming. Images of Yumiko flashed through my mind. I saw her in the forest, standing near a small stream. I heard her voice and felt the warmth of her body against mine. I followed her to a large cave where she was waiting for me. She lifted her hand and showed me a starry sky. Her fingers pointed toward the north. She said, "We will meet there." She turned and disappeared behind the opening. I peered inside, but couldn't find her. I went deeper and farther, searching for her, but she was nowhere to be found. I started to panic. What am I supposed to do? I thought. This isn't right! I'm losing her.

I ran faster and deeper into the cave, but Yumiko was no longer there. Instead, I saw a glowing ball of light ahead. I approached slowly and realized it was her face. She smiled and beckoned for me to follow. I stepped closer and saw that she was floating in midair. She reached out toward me and gently touched my cheek. I fell onto the ground, and Yumiko's arms wrapped around me. She kissed me and whispered softly, "Don't worry, my love. Everything is going to be alright." And then she was gone. I woke up with tears streaming down my cheeks. My head was spinning and I was disoriented. I couldn't remember much, but that last scene remained clear in my mind. I looked over at the three feathers lying there, glittering in the moonlight.

It was a matter of time before she knew Akio. Between the town celebrations and he always being the center of attention, I suppose one day she would inevitably cross paths with him. There was nothing I could do about it. When it happened, I was happy for her. It was good for her to have friends. I was just worried that she might start to forget about me. People were constantly annoyed by my friendship with her. Whenever we were together in the village, they would ask her why she was so friendly to me. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind and defend me whenever someone confronted me. As far as I was concerned, she didn't owe anyone an explanation. It was obvious they thought I was undeserving of her kindness. But she stood by my side anyway.

Yumiko and Akio grew close quickly. He was the son of the most powerful man in the village, so her father soon took a liking to him. I could see how she didn't treat him differently than any other person. She spoke to him casually and treated him the way she did everyone else. Soon enough, she came to visit me less and less. I was often left alone on top of the hill, watching the village pass by below.

She told me she wanted to explore the world, but as time passed, she stopped coming back altogether. I missed her terribly. Sometimes I would sit outside my hut and cry, thinking that this might be it. That maybe she wouldn't come back again. I pictured her leaving me forever, and the thought sent me into a spiral of depression. The little girl I knew had been replaced by another woman. Someone who was worldly and sophisticated, but still compassionate. I realized I didn't know her anymore.

The next thing I knew, winter was upon us and the weather turned bitter cold. I was grateful for the snowfall that blanketed the earth and brought with it a sense of peace and tranquility. In the days leading up to the solstice festival, I walked around the village, collecting pinecones and evergreen branches. I laid them all around my house. By the time the solstice arrived, the air was crisp and fresh. I lit a fire and sat by it, gazing out into the forest. I watched the trees dance under the light of the full moon and the bright glow of the stars above. Everything seemed quiet and peaceful. I felt like I was the only one in the world.

I went over my memories of the past year and wished I had done more for her. I couldn't be angry with her, though. I didn't know what was best for her life. All I could do now was wait.

When the sun rose on the first day of the new year, I woke early and ran out of my house, hoping to catch a glimpse of the sunrise. I was greeted by a beautiful sight. White clouds hung over the horizon, billowing upward in the sky. A few rays of sunshine broke through the clouds, casting a warm light on the forest below. For some reason, I felt at ease. Something in the air made me feel like everything was going to be alright. I stared out into the forest for hours, watching the sunlight cast its golden glow across the leaves of the trees. I was overcome with a feeling of contentment.

A month passed without any word from Yumiko. I kept busy, working at the forgery most days. I spent my evenings reading books that she had given me. Most nights, I would write letters to Yumiko, but never deliver them. In my mind, she should know my feelings toward her. No matter how distant she seemed, I knew she was still alive. Somehow. And I didn't want her to forget about me. My father laughed at me when I told him I wanted to marry her. He thought I was joking. That I knew my place and that she was in another realm from me. I argued vehemently against his opinion, insisting that I was worthy of love. If Yumiko chose me, then I would accept her. Forever and always. He scoffed at my claim, but he eventually relented.

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"Do what you want" was all he said. "But be careful."

One evening after work, I took a walk through the city streets. I was lost in thought, trying to decipher some of the strange events happening around me. I was paranoid, fearful of something I couldn't quite put my finger on. As I walked, I realized how much I missed being with Yumiko. I hadn't heard from her in weeks. I found myself wondering if she was safe; if she was healthy. I began to imagine terrible possibilities. I pictured her in bed, fighting for her life. I was consumed with worry, which made me angry. I cursed myself for being so foolish. Just because I dreamt of her didn't mean I knew anything at all about her. I was making assumptions based on nothing more than a few vague memories. And yet I continued to cling to hope, despite all logic and reason.

I stopped in the middle of the street, seeing a group of people walking past. I watched them go by, noting but levity and their demeanor as they went. I turned away, feeling frustrated and anxious. I needed to calm my nerves. I had been pushing myself too hard these last few months. I was believing I deserved what was happening to me. After all, I was a coward. I was afraid. I was weak and pathetic. I hated myself for not acting sooner, for letting her slip away from me. I knew what I had to do, even though it terrified me. I had to go to her.

As I sat on the edge of a nearby bench, my anger dissipated. I anticipated my actions. I knew exactly what I would say to her. As long as I spoke the right words, she would understand. I imagined her smiling at me as I promised her everything. My heart raced as I stood from the bench. I started walking. I was almost there. I could feel it. I would fix this. I would make amends. Once I told her, everything would change. I was certain of it.

I stood outside her house for what seemed like an eternity. I was excited but also nervous. I had never been inside her home. Her family never allowed it. They were very private about themselves. I knocked at her window, then waited patiently while I caught my breath. Finally, I heard footsteps approaching. I assumed it was her mother, but instead Yumiko opened the door. She looked at me with concern in her eyes. The expression made me uncomfortable. I felt like I was being judged. It was difficult to believe we once shared such a deep bond. We were so connected and comfortable together. But then I remembered how she left me behind. I couldn't tell if it was pity or disdain that filled her stare.

Yumiko stepped aside and gestured for me to enter. I hesitated a moment before following her lead. I wasn't sure what to expect. I had no idea what she was thinking. But I did know I was ready. I was done running. I was going to ask her to marry me. I was finally going to take control of my own destiny.

We entered a large sitting room. There was a fireplace and several chairs. I followed Yumiko's path as she moved through the room. She paused near a dining table. I noticed there was only one chair. Yumiko smiled at me, giving me a slight nod before returning to the kitchen. I sat down, unsure of what to do next. I stared at the table, unable to find the words. I tried to think of something clever, but I couldn't come up with anything. My mind felt numb.

—I was sure you would come sooner—, she said over her shoulder. —It is good to see you again—

She returned with two cups of tea, placing them on the table between us. I reached out to take one but Yumiko stopped me.

—You are a friend, not a guest—, she explained. —Please don't drink without telling me what you want—.

I nodded and placed the cup back on the table. I focused on her face, searching for any signs of deception. But nothing changed. I couldn't decide what to say. I wanted to explain what happened, and why I was there. Instead, I remained silent.

"What would be the point?", I thought. "She wouldn't listen".

Yumiko picked up the cup in front of her and sipped from it. Then, she set the cup down, looking directly into my eyes.

—Why did you come here?—, she asked. —Is it really just to talk?—.

I paused for a moment. I glanced down at my hands, noticing how tense and stiff they were.

─You're nervous, aren't you?—.

─Yes. A lot has happened—.

─Why did you come here at all?—.

I sighed, trying to collect my thoughts. I looked around the room, hoping to find inspiration from something else, but found nothing.

─To talk. Just to talk—.

─There is more to it than that. I can see it on your face. I sense it in your voice—.

─I'm sorry… I was just hoping to fix things—.

─Fix them? What is there to fix? You have always been honest with me. If anything, I should thank you for that—.

─There's something else—.

─And what is that?—.

─It's complicated—.

─People are complicated. That doesn't mean they need fixing—, she said.

─Yumiko-san. I… I love you…—.

I couldn't assimilate what I just said. I didn't even know I was going to say it. Yet there I was, saying the words and knowing they were true. I hoped she would hear them.

─Love?—.

─Yes. I love you! I've always loved you. Since the first time we met—.

─I don't believe you—.

Her words cut deeper than knives. They pierced my heart. It felt like someone had ripped it open. I tried to speak but my throat closed up. I couldn't find the strength to deny them.

─But I am serious—.

—You only love what I can give you—, she responded.

─I… I don't know what you're talking about—.

─There more you need something, the less you understand it. That void in you, filled by me…—.

─No. Please stop—.

─That isn't a lie, is it? You love me because I help you. Because I make you feel safe. You love me because there was no one else. Is that right?—.

─No! I never said any such thing—.

─You don't have to. Your actions prove it. You came here to be close to me. To be near me. Because when you look inside yourself, you realize I am all you have—.

─Please stop—.

—I'm sorry, Zenta-kun. I wish you'd told me this earlier—.

─You would have refused me. You would have rejected me—.

─Maybe. Maybe I would have. But you have to trust me. I knew you were lonely because I was too—.

─You're wrong! I fell in love with you for who you are. Not for what you can offer me—, I said, fighting back tears.

─You say that, but you don't really know me. The way you act is because you think that is what I expect. You've convinced yourself that it's the truth—.

I stood up. I couldn't stand being in the same room as her anymore. My mind went blank. Nothing mattered except leaving. But at that moment, different voices rang out. One was familiar, but I couldn't place it. Another was louder, more insistent, and sounded like it was coming from another room.

─What's happening?—, one of the voices called.

─Who is that?—, the other voice asked.

Yumiko remained seated, unmoving. Her eyes were unfocused and distant as she listened to what I assumed was her family. She seemed unaffected by the interruption. Then, I realized who was calling Yumiko's name.

─Nakajima-san?—, I thought, suddenly remembering where I heard that voice before.

─Yumiko?—, Akio said as he entered the living room. He was dressed in his usual blue suit. His red hair was combed neatly, though some strands still stuck to his forehead and temples. He had a slight frown on his face; as if he was troubled or worried.

─Zenta-kun? What are you doing here?—, he asked.

The image struck me as a hallucination. A dream. Something I imagined because I was scared. But he was there, along with his father and Yumiko's family. All of them were staring at me. None of them had noticed I was there until now.

─Akio-san?—, I said. My voice failed as I tried to say his name.

─What is going on here?—, Nakajima-san asked, as he approached us.

─Nothing—, Yumiko said before I could respond.

─He's a friend. Someone who came to visit—.

─I see. Good then. Now, why don't you come with us? We'll talk about the preparations. Zenta-kun. It looks like you're feeling unwell. Perhaps we should take you home—.

─Preparations?—, I asked, suddenly realizing what the voices were referring to.

─For the wedding. It's all settled, so now it's just a matter of getting everyone together—.

─Wedding?—.

─Yes. Yumiko-san told you, didn't she? We`re getting married—.

That phrase sounded like a foreign language. I couldn't follow the meaning. I wasn't sure how to react. I felt like I was trapped within myself. Unable to move. Unable to breathe.

─What do you mean?—, I asked.

─It's all arranged. It's very nice, actually. A little small, but nice—, said Yumiko's mother.

I shook my head. I couldn't reply. My mouth opened, but no words came out.

─What's wrong?—, Nakajima-san asked.

─My… I'm sorry. I'm fine—.

─Are you sure?—, he asked.

─I am. I'm sorry. I forgot I was at your house. I won't cause trouble for you again, so please forgive me—, I said to Yumiko, who was watching me with concern. I barely could maintain my composure while going for the exit. They watch me stumble away, confused, wondering what happened. I was halfway down the entrance before I started running, hoping to catch my breath.

─Zenta-kun?—, I heard Yumiko call after me.

I didn't look back, not wanting to embarrass myself further. I ran through the grass until I reached the open field. There, I collapsed on the ground, unable to continue. And then I sobbed. Sobbed uncontrollably, struggling to breathe. Yumiko finally caught up with me, sitting beside me.

─Zenta-kun! What's wrong?—, she asked, grabbing my hand.

─I can't believe this. This isn't real. I dreamed it all. It's all a nightmare—, I cried.

Akio had gone after her too but stopped a few feet away, as he saw us on the ground. She made a gesture to him to leave us be and then sat next to me. I continued crying, pressing my hands into the dirt, trying to hold back the tears.

─Why did you lie?—, I finally managed to ask her.

─I didn't want to make things difficult for you—.

—Akio-san? It is a cruel joke?—, I said, trying to convey my thoughts without saying anything aloud.

─We are arranged. There's nothing I can do to change it. Please stop —.

─You are going to marry Akio?—, I asked, managing to choke out the words.

─Yes. This is how it has been decided—.

─We've known each other since we were children. We grew up together. Even if our families didn't know each other, I would have asked you to marry me. You know what I feel about you. That's why I had to tell you—.

─That wouldn't have changed anything—, she said.

I could see that she was shaking her head from where I was. We both stared at one another, wordless. I felt stupid and weak, like a child. I wanted to apologize, but I didn't know what I had done wrong—.

—Does he loves you?—, I asked.

─Zenta-kun…—, Yumiko began, but I interrupted her.

─No. I need to hear him say it. I have to know—, I said, gripping Yumiko's hand.

─It doesn't matter—, she said.

─Listen to me. I love you; I always have. You're the only person in the world I care about—, I said, squeezing her hand even more.

—I'm dying, Zenta-kun. We both know this will happen—.

─No, you're fine. You're not sick anymore. You shouldn't worry about things like this—, I pleaded.

─No. Three years from now, I won't be alive anymore. The doctors already confirmed this—, she said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

─Yumiko…—, I said, not understanding what else to say.

—Akios-san is… strong. He took the news well. My father arranged it because he was afraid my children could suffer the same fate as I am—.

─What? Why didn't you tell me?—, I asked.

─Because I knew you'd come after me. If I told you, you would try to save me. If I marry him, I'll die happy. At least this way, I know my family will go on—.

—So it was me all along?—, I asked, —I'm weak. I'm not cut out for this kind of thing. I don't deserve you—.

─No, Zenta-kun. You don't deserve the pain of watching me die. Akios-san is a good man. I trust him. I know he'll take care of me and my family. So, I'm asking you to let this end—.

I started crying again. I couldn't help it. I had never shed tears over Yumiko that weren't of happiness. I wasn't prepared to see her like this. All those dreams about our future together, the plans to live happily ever after, they were all lies. They were just a fantasy created by me to keep myself sane. I had never had a chance with her. I didn't deserve her, I realized. I fell into my own despair, hearing her speak so calmly and rationally, while I was losing my mind. She probably saw how much I loved her, and she knew it was pointless.

—Please. I'll die too—, I said, choking on my tears.

─Don't talk like that—, Yumiko said, —You're a beautiful person. I know you'll do great things. All that love inside you will bring warmth to people around you—.

─No, Yumiko. You're wrong. No one else has ever loved me except you. Not a single person, in my entire life, has spoken to me as kindly and cared about me as you do. Everyone else thinks I'm worthless, stupid, or too weak to handle anything, but you believe in me. Don't you understand? I'm alive because of you—.

She smiled at me, a sad smile that reminded me of when we first met. I tried to hold her hand, but she pulled away.

─I'm sorry, Zenta-kun. I have to go now—.

She stood up and walked away. I wanted to scream at her, to beg her to stay. But my body was paralyzed with sadness and regret, unable to move.

─Yumiko…,— I said, trying to call her back.

─Goodbye—, Zenta-kun. I hope to see you soon, in the next life. Maybe then we can start anew—.

I was left there alone, staring at the ground. I could hear the wind blowing hard against the trees. It brought me nothing but sorrowful memories. My heart hurt so badly that I thought it might burst. Tears streamed down my face as I looked across the clearing to where Yumiko sat. I saw her smile in my head, her voice when we first meet, and her gentle touch. She was gone. And I would never see her again.

─Yumiko—, I whispered, but my voice sounded hollow.

And then, my sobbing slowly began to change into a chuckle. I started laughing with tears filling my eyes. I laughed louder and harder, holding my stomach. I laughed until I couldn't breathe until my lungs burned. I laughed until it felt like my chest was going to explode and blood flowed from my nose onto the ground.

At the cave. Suman watched me as I was laughing again. My laughter echoed through the rocks and the cliff. I was on my knees, my hands clutching the stone floor of the cave. I was doubled over, my shoulders shaking with each laugh.

─Why are you laughing?—, Suman asked, curious.

I couldn't stop. My deranged laughter grew louder and louder until it shook the very stones beneath us. I jumped on top of the stones, cackling madly.

─It's funny! What did you expect?—, I bellowed, my voice echoing throughout the cavern, —My life is a joke. My death is an even bigger one!—.

─Are you alright?—, Suman asked, concerned.

─I'm fine! Just laughing at my pathetic fate!—, I screamed, —I'm in hell! in Hell! It was not enough to suffer every day of my mortal life, I had to be punished for eternity! That's justice, isn't it?!—.

Suman just stared at me, confused.

─What?—, I asked, still laughing, —Isn't it funny? Why aren't you laughing too? You've been here for the same, haven't you?—.

─You think I want to spend eternity in this cold, dark cave?—, Suman growled, —I came here to escape my misery, not to relive it—.

─Yes! that's the spirit! —I cheered, dancing in place, —Let us celebrate our lives, our miserable, pitiful deaths! Let us rejoice at having lived such short, pathetic existences!—.

Suman sat on his haunches, looking at me with wide eyes.

─You don't understand! This is a celebration! A party! We can't let them take away our joyous moments, no matter what! God punished me from the day I was born. But then he kept giving me hope, and I thought I might actually make it out, somehow, someday. And then I found you two! I thought maybe, just maybe, I could start feeling something. But I was wrong. He teased me, on and on, leaving me alone, mocking me with all these people who only care about their own happiness. He put the most beautiful girl I ever knew right before my eyes and told me to chase after her, just like he always does as if I were some kind of experiment. He made her leave and come back to me, over and over again, like a dog chasing its tail. But I know how it ends, don't I?—, I said, my voice growing angrier by the second, —She leaves me for a man who already had it all! He'll never give me anything! Not a single thing!—, I screamed, standing up, my rage burning through my veins, —So why shouldn't I get drunk on my despair and revel in my pain?! I should laugh! I should dance around! I should sing songs of my failure and my misery because that's what life is, isn't it? Nothing more than a series of disappointments ending with your own death!—.

─Stop! Stop it, now!—, Suman yelled, grabbing my arms.

─No! No! I can't stop! I feel so good! So alive! So powerful! He took everything from me, and I'm taking it back! I didn't come here to die! I came here to live! To live my life as I wanted to! I deserve this! I deserve to suffer, to be miserable, to be humiliated, to be mocked, and to live in pain! I am not ashamed of myself! I am not ashamed of my suffering! I do not regret a single moment of my life! I have earned every bit of this, and I will enjoy it!—.

—What did you do?!—, he shouted, pulling me toward him

─I… I—, I stammered, fighting his grip, —I killed him—.

─What?—, he asked, stunned.

─I killed him, I killed Akio—.

My own words paralyzed me. I turned my head away, unable to look at Suman.

─Why would you do that?—, he asked, confused.

─Because he had to die, Suman. Because every minute he existed it meant another minute of suffering for me, another second of humiliation, another moment of being alone, while he got to be happy. He had to die. He needed to die. I killed him. And now I'm here—.

I slowly stopped smiling. I looked at Suman, seeing his face made of stone. His eyes, deep as they were, seemed to bore into mine. Then, he smiled.

─There it is. There's the demon inside you—.