Chapter 1
QUACK QUACK QUACK…QUACK QUACK QUACK
“Is that a duck?!” I exclaimed as I rolled around searching for the cause of my irritation.
I answered the phone. “If you hack my phone one more time to change my ring tone!” I yelled somewhat into the phone.
“Hey you’re up! Look you gotta get over here now!” Drew exclaimed from the other end of the phone.
“What, do you know what time it is? I am going back to sleep, find a different friend to annoy,” this is a somewhat regular occurrence. I think I need a girlfriend or maybe a wife, someone to screen these calls.
“I know you aren’t doing anything, and you passed out last night at 11 so you have had plenty of sleep,” he said clearly not understanding how much I dislike him hacking my phone.
“I am seriously going to get rid of this watch, did you get me this thing just so that you could keep track of my sleep schedule? You have problems, I will tell you what if you buy breakfast I will meet you at the Meat and Three in 20 minutes,” I rolled out of bed and stepped directly onto my belt buckle stabbing my foot and causing me to spout off a nonsensical soliloquy of curses that lasted longer than most valedictorian speeches. “OWW!” I am wearing sweat pants for the rest of my life!
“Fine you don’t have to get all emotional I will see you in 20 but be ready to spend some time at the lab. I need some help with a new project and you are going to love it!” he was talking fast like he just lost his virginity to a super model, or to any woman for that matter.
“Alright, let me shower and find a band aid, and I will be right over,” I hung up and found my lamp nearly knocking it over in the process. My phone said it was 5:30 AM on a Saturday in July, I am 32 and this is what I wake up to, FML. My foot feels like Jack the Ripper made a special guest appearance in my bedroom, my head feels like an elephant just sat on it, and my mouth taste like a litter box. I have got to get my life together. Screw it, I am just going to hang out with Drew and eat about 3 servings of breakfast at his expense, he can afford it.
While I was full of nothing but regrets and wasted potential, being a 32-year-old Electronic Technician, ex-military, ex-jock, perpetually single, and all-around mess of a man. Drew was all of that, but he was living the dream, got out and used his GI bill to pay through college and live on the government dime for a few years eating ramen and rooming with at least one other dude the whole time. He gets done with his doctorate and gets picked up by the largest software manufacturer ever conceived. Now he helps with R&D on massive video games and ensures that nobody can hack into their system. You guessed it, by hacking into theirs first. Great guy really, but all around a bit of a nerd. I got done with my contemplative shower and brushed the kitty litter out of my mouth, what did I eat? Yeah it was a whole bag of chili cheese corn chips, don’t judge me, I have my priorities. I cleaned and patched the leaking hole in my foot and limped out of the house grabbing a bottle of water for the trip.
“Hey man long time no see!” Drew exclaimed from our usual corner booth.
“We do this every weekend, why are you so excited? It is too early to be up and smiling, one of the two is acceptable, but both this early is unacceptable,” I sat down glad to get off my throbbing foot.
“Can I get you anything sweetie?” our usual waitress asked in her 3 packs a day since birth voice, taking to heart my previous statement of not smiling or showing any signs of enjoyment.
“Yeah I will take the usual, for when he is paying,” I stated indicating my jovial friend.
“Steel maker special it is Hun, you want me to roofie his coffee too?” she said with a little mirth.
“No, but decaf can’t hurt,” I said with a smile patting the hand she had on my forearm.
“Why am I up before Jesus, on a Saturday looking at your ugly mug?” I huffed as I sipped my sweat tea, that Sue brought out instinctively upon my arrival.
“Because you owe me for letting you crash at my place when you didn’t have anywhere to stay, and because you don’t have a life,” he stated in such a matter of fact way so that I knew he had thought of it beforehand.
“I really need a woman in my life, like a really smart nerdy blonde that loves video games and sex, in that order,” I reached for my already refilled tea and mentally added a dollar to the tip that Drew was going to give Sue at the end of this.
“I need a million dollars and a quantum processor, but that doesn’t mean I am going to get it,” he said off handily while giving his coffee a suspicious glance, followed by an accusatory glare at Sue who was already grabbing our order from the back, well most of it. Mine was going to take at least two trips by itself.
“I know for a fact that you have a million dollars squirreled away, and you have like 10 quantum level or above processors in your lab, don’t give me that when I am making legitimate complaints about my actual garbage life,” Sue sat down the first of my 3 heaping piles of steaming food, this one being a triple serving of hash browns with everything that the cook could round up in the back, and a LOT of grease.
“Whatever man look I just had a huge breakthrough on that big project and I need some alpha testers. My boss said that you are an absolute perfect candidate!” he started in on his massive waffle, I love this place!
“You are talking about that Skynet level, really shouldn’t screw around with stuff that we don’t fully understand, super AI virtual pocket universe thing that you are working on, right?” my eyes bulged as I locked in on the perfect bite with every ingredient smothered in cheese and just a little too large for a normal jaw to handle, but my fork scraped against empty plate as Drew had stolen it right from under me. I attempted to stab his hand, but he was too quick, fueled by energy drinks, caffeine pills and at least one black coffee with caffeine before Sue had cut him off. Compared to my sleep deprived zombie like state he was moving at super human speed.
“You touch my food again and I will stab you in the eye!” I held his gaze with more conviction than was entirely necessary.
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“Seems like I am paying for it, so it is actually my food,” he said through a huge mouth full of the perfect mix of hash-browns, grease, and whatever else this place threw in there.
“Whatever, you know that was the best bite. Alpha tester sounds dangerous have you tested on anyone else?” I asked still emotionally wounded with the loss of my hash browns.
“You would be the first, they said that I can’t use it at all, and that we must log a few hundred hours before they will let anyone else use the software. You will have a few disclaimers to sign, including but not limited to an NDA and medical stuff,” he had already moved past his waffle and onto his southwest omelet that looked like no less than 5 eggs.
“So, I will be signing on to test some really sketchy software, in a secret lab, under threat of legal action if I open my mouth, and to top it off I have to do it for hundreds of hours?” we both already knew this was a done deal, just some friendly negotiations before the paperwork.
“Yeah and it pays a hundred dollars an hour or something like that,” he said off handedly as his fork squeezed a hefty amount of cheese, peppers, and onions out the end of his omelet.
I nearly spit out the massive bight of link sausage that I had just taken, but instead settled on a choked swallow. “A hundred bucks an hour, for hundreds of hours? Seriously, what are you developing a virtual ED pill?”
“No, it is a fully submersed massive online role-playing game, I am responsible for security and seamless integration with the host. It is currently in closed server testing, which is why we must go to the lab,” he sipped on his coffee with a grimace, then he shot me a glare.
“Alright I am in, but I want that pay in writing and it would be nice to get a check every session, instead of having to wait until the end of the week,” I really need to learn how to play hard ball before the chickens are up.
“Fine I am sure someone in HR can take care of that, now we have to document everything that you see and hear in the simulation so don’t say anything that you don’t want the board to know about. Like that time that…” He was cut off by my toes lodging into his shin as Sue came back to hand us our check and give Drew her personal cell phone number. Something she did every week.
“I know you get lonely in that huge house, Sweetie don’t hesitate to give Old Sue a call,” she said with her liver spotted hand resting on his shoulder. Drew just shot her a toothy smile, stood up kissed her on the cheek and laid down a fifty.
“Keep the change Sue, and keep this between you and me, I don’t want John coming after me with a shotgun,” his mentioning of her husband of forty years was a low blow, but she just smiled back.
I was nervous at this point, Drew was the cheapest person on the planet. Dropping a fifty for breakfast and not getting change was not normal. This must be a big deal.
“He is with me, I think you have a message saying that he will be doing some contract work for us over the next couple months,” Drew told the “I never really left the military” guard in a casual, it is a Saturday voice. The guard checked his notepad like it was the Bible and scanned it with his finger.
“Are you Xanthos?” he asked with a questioning glance.
“Yeah that is me, my parents have a thing for ancient Greek culture,” I replied, choosing to use my civilian veteran’s ID.
“Thank you for your service Mr. Periwinkle,” he said with a flash of too white teeth.
Yeah, yeah, my last name is Periwinkle, and my initials are XP. My parents think it is hilarious too.
We got to the lab without any further hassle, but I did make note that it was very far underground, and Drew had to scan both eyes, his right hand, and I am pretty sure he spit into a trough.
“Alright give me a few minutes to set up, just strip down and put that suit on over there, then stand by the decontamination station,” he stated pointing to a booth of clear glass with about 20 shower heads aiming inward. I did as he asked and then a low hum started in the back of the lab as he stood up and walked over.
“Is that a generator?” I asked pointing to the back where the hum could be heard.
“Yeah, there are three, one for the pod, and two more for back up. The board doesn’t trust the AI yet, so we don’t hook it up to the grid. This room isn’t even connected to the rest of the building, it is magnetically suspended, with a Faraday Cage built around it. There is a massive fuel cell that will run the pods for a couple years, and giant battery bank to run the room when the generators are off. Cool stuff!” he exclaimed as he punched in a few commands on the chamber that I was apparently about to step into.
“Doesn’t all of this concern you? I mean if they take these sorts of precautions, what makes you think this is safe?” I was getting even more nervous than when he gave Sue a near thirty-dollar tip.
“Nope, I am the one that told them to do all of this,” he said offhandedly. “They go,” he scrunched his neck up making a double chin, “’How can we absolutely guarantee that no one will steal our technology?’ and I replied, a magnetically isolated room with a Faraday Cage would do the trick. Two weeks later here we are,” he closed the door and I was dowsed with what I assume was carbon dioxide and disinfectant. Luckily, I shut my eyes and held my breath.
“Don’t worry it knows when you are ready by scanning you continuously, you don’t have to stare daggers into me,” Drew said while finishing prep on the pod.
“Whatever, what is next?” I asked stepping out, feeling like a lab rat or a super hero.
“So now we will start integration, we will start with partial submergence. Basically, a simple program to get you used to the experience where we can talk, and I can get your signature. You will create your avatar, and I will gift you a starting item of your choice. Well actually just choose what I tell you to, your voice will be recorded while mine will not, so don’t indicate that I guided you in any way. This is important, I am not supposed to help you in any way. I got them to agree to let your player character be transferred when the game goes live, so just make sure that there is nothing that looks suspicious about your decision and if I prompt you don’t argue,” that would be difficult we always argued.
“Alright, alright, now where is all this paperwork I am supposed to sign?” I asked looking around.
“You can just sign it digitally when you get into the pod, you will get a few prompts so just agree to them and you will be good,” he finished up with the pod and was moving to his workstation at the other end of the room.
“Seriously, like my phone agreements? This is supposed to be all official and stuff, thought I would get a fountain pen or something,”
“We are all digital here, I haven’t seen so much as a TPS report the whole time I have been here. If you would be more comfortable I can have one of the corporate lawyers write something up and send it your way next week, but you are seriously going to want to get started on this, it is going to be amazing like nothing you have ever experienced,” he was clearly getting excited and even though it was still real early in the morning I was starting to get excited too.
“Alright, fine, lets just get this over with,” I laid down in the pod, and noted that it was the most comfortable thing that I had ever laid down in. Think of a shiatsu massage chair made of gel insoles, but there were also these pistons that maintained even pressure on the entire body. It was heaven. “Wake me up in a few hours I think I am going to listen to those generators and dose off for a couple years,” I called out.
“Now just shut the lid and get ready for some awesome stuff!” he said ignoring me.
When I shut the lid, all light left the space and a small screen showed up above me, I quickly read through the pages and accepted the term with a checkbox that assured me it counted as my digital signature. Turns out the pay was a couple hundred dollars an hour. What are they going to do with this game?