We cleared the tree line and entered into a massive plateau covered in perfect grass and large tents. The needles ended a few feet after the tree line ended clearly having been swept back to the edge of the forest. In the center of the clearing and surrounded by the largest tents was the most magnificent tree I have ever seen. General Sherman didn't even come close, it must have been more than a hundred feet in diameter and stood at least four hundred feet tall. The branches spread out for a couple hundred feet in every direction, I was speechless.

"That is amazing!" I said gaping craning my neck to see the top.

"Thank you." Andrea stated simply from my neck.

"It is the symbol of our strength." Hawk said seemingly having shrunk by a couple feet.

"Hey Jerry who is the gecko man?" A villager said from beyond the first row of tents.

I looked around to find Jerry, didn't see him, looked over to Hawk who somehow shrank more. "I met him at the shrine, he is a friend. He helped me to become a scholar." Hawk's eyes stayed downcast never leaving the few scattered needles.

"Scholar? Stop playing Terry! You fall on your head while you were gone? Hey now that you are back you think you can do something about these needles? They are everywhere!" The villager said indicating the few scattered needles.

"Excuse me I am Hawk's new friend Xanthos." I said stepping in front of him in a defensive gesture.

"Hawk? Who is that? Larry the elder counsel wants to meet with you and ask how your voyage went. Bring Xanthos with you if you would like to." The random villager then turned and left.

"Did he somehow remember my name, but can't remember yours? How is that possible? I had a teacher with a master’s in English that said my name wrong for 2 semesters!" I almost yelled at the injustice.

"They don't mean anything by it; all of the villagers have done it since I was a kid." Hawk started shuffling up the slight slope toward the massive tree with me in tow.

"It is one syllable! How hard can it be to remember? And why can't they believe you would be a scholar, you are real smart!" If I could turn red I would have.

"I haven't been entirely honest with you. I was never going to be a guard; I never wanted to be an adventurer. I was actually going to ask Zekros to stop the needles from falling, because it is my job to clear them off. I am a fool and didn't mean to mislead you; I just didn't want you to see me as the villagers see me, a loser." He had tears rolling down his face.

I placed one small clawed hand on his slumped shoulder blade. "Don't worry about it big guy. I see what you are going through; I have a feeling things are going to start looking up for you. I have an idea of how to help you out."

We continued until we came to the only permanent structure in the village. It was a longhouse made of what looked like large fallen limbs. It was pretty impressive, and very large. We swung the rawhide curtain wide and were hit with a foul odor and saw a small fire surrounded by 15 very large, very fat men. They varied in range from old to ancient.

"Don't mention their age; they don't like to be reminded of their mortality. They are getting close to 50, so most of them don't have long." He whispered to me.

"Fifty!" I exclaimed a little too loud earning me a scathing look from the nearest elder. Who looked like he was in his late 90s.

"Jerry! So glad you are back! We have missed you; do you have any word from our all mighty god Zekros?" The largest of the elders said spreading his flabby arms wide in a gesture to include the room.

I stepped forward again in front of Hawk spreading my arms and bowing slightly to the group. "It is an honor to finally meet the mighty, powerful elder council of the Sequoia people!"

"Pouring it on a little thick?" Andrea's voice proclaimed.

"Who is this lizard man Terry?" The large one asked.

"I am Xanthos and I met young Hawk here at the shrine of Zekros the almighty!" I said looking up at the wall directly behind the largest elder noting a human skeleton covered in a complete set of armor minus the helmet. "I have come to ask your permission to take him with me on a journey to retrieve an artifact."

"Who is Hawk?" An elder to our left asked

"Do you desire to travel with this creature Larry?"

"I would like to, if it is alright with the council." Hawk's eyes met mine and I indicated the armor with a conspicuous glance. "We would like to retrieve the Helmet of the Almighty Kaidu from the endless battle of the immortals!" Hawk said in a suddenly confident booming voice.

The entire room instantly drew in a huge breath and then went completely silent.

"It has been missing for thousands of years since the mighty Juggernaut left it in order to distract the Gods." The leader was clearly taken back by the audacity of Hawk's statement.

"No man can retrieve the helmet from the Gods; they have battled in a continuous stalemate since it was left on that killing field all those years ago." An elder to our left proclaimed.

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

"The helmet grants nearly infinite power and was only discarded so that our honored ancestor could live peacefully with his goddess wife." An elder to our right stated.

"You stand no chance at retrieving the helmet and will die in the process!" The leader proclaimed as he came to his feet in anger, breathing fast and hard probably more from obesity than excitement.

"We will and when we do I would like permission to take Hawk with me on my adventure, we will return the helmet here to the village prior to leaving."

"If you take Jerry who will clean the needles?" The question came from behind us.

I discarded this, but all the elders were bobbing their heads in agreement as if it was a real concern.

"Surely you can get the older children to clean the needles, or even the younger ones as part of a game." I offered.

The elder's heads bobbed some more. Then the leader spoke up. "Alright it is an acceptable risk, but you must bring the helmet directly to me without alerting any of the other villagers prior to you turning it over." He plopped back down in his throne, causing it to creak, but not break.

"We agree!" Hawk proclaimed

"But first you must clean the needles one last time as they have really built up in your absence." Again this was met with bobbing from all of the elders and all thirty of their chins.

"It will be done." I proclaimed and backed out of the longhouse with Hawk in tow.

As we walked back down the slope I glanced over at Hawk to gauge his reaction. He was smiling from ear to ear.

"You are a genius! Now we can go and nobody will ever question our fate! There is no chance that anyone would ever come out alive from such a ludicrous quest!" Hawk had clearly misjudged the situation.

"I actually intend on retrieving the helmet for you Hawk. Surely they would remember your name then."

"Don't count on it. Once there was a windstorm and every needle in the area fell directly into the clearing, I cleared off every needle before the sun rose the next day, nobody noticed." He hung his head again.

“Just so that I am clear in your mind, those two things are comparable?” I asked.

We approached the edge of the forest, and then I saw Hawk bend down and grab a single needle and take it to the pile near the base of the nearest tree. I shook my head and promptly slipped on the needles landing on my tail, and then the wind started to pick up. Hawk was clearly distraught that the wind would pick up now. I stood up rubbing the soreness from my tail as the wind kicked up into a frenzy. Then I was bombarded from behind as hundreds of needles struck me in the back, then as quickly as it started it was over. Looking around there were no more needles in the clearing around us, and looking around there wasn't any needles anywhere in the clearing.

"Let's get on with this, no more delays!" Andrea's voice rang out. I patted her on the back and smiled at Hawk.

"Time to go buddy! You lead the way." He stood starting open mouthed at me waiting for an explanation that never came.

"You know I am pretty sure that I caused a huricane in order to speed this process along, so get a move on!" Andrea's voice said from my neck. Why wouldn't she just use magic? "Because I can't use anything, but a simple light spell, and a simple electrical attack. Even though I rule this world, I am still controled by the laws which I have written. I can't just do what I want when I want, in fact I am more bound to the hard written laws than you are, because I already know all of them and don't get to have fun figuring out the limitations like you do." She was getting a little irritated with me, I didn't know! "Just don't let it happen again." Andrea purred and then seemingly fell asleep on my neck.

"The battle is actually not far from here only a week’s journey that way in a valley beyond that mountain." Hawk indicated a peak that was slightly higher than our own plateau.

"Let's get this over with, you need a helmet and I need to have some fun before Drew gets back." I said catching myself at the end as we set off toward the peak.

"Who is Drew?" Asked Hawk.

"He is a friend of mine, I don't think you will ever meet him, but I am sure he would like you." Stop asking questions! "So when you say endless battle of the immortals what exactly do you mean?" I asked attempting to divert the conversation away from my programming best friend.

"Our greatest hero Kaidu was a massive man as you can tell from his skeleton in the longhouse; he was extremely powerful and collected rare artifacts from all over. He was the last and greatest hero of the gods, and performed more heroic acts than can be mentioned, for his lifetime of devotion all of the gods finally agreed on something, that he should be awarded. They got together and discussed what gift would be adequate for the greatest of men, they decided on a helmet of unspeakable power. It was so powerfull that every god worked on it tirelessly for over a week, which was remarkable considering they never worked together on anything." We walked down a well-worn path that was made from hard packed dirt. "He lived a long life, but he was lonely and unapproachable. No normal woman was good enough for him, and he set his sights a bit higher. He began to court the most beautiful of the goddesses and soon they fell in love. The rest of the gods found this unacceptable and when their daughter Khutulun was born they killed her. Kaidu was so enraged that he challenged the gods to a competition and said that if they could beat him they could have his helmet and once again they would be the most powerful beings. The competition began, and it was a stalemate, the gods couldn't beat him and Kaidu couldn't beat them in turn. In a stroke of genius Kaidu realized that he couldn't win and that the gods could just wait him out, because he would eventually die. He began to sow seeds of doubt in the minds of the gods, playing them against each other. He then would get them to reveal secrets and use those to pit them against one another even more. He accomplished all of this while still managing to support the stalemate. Eventually he simply took the helmet off and laid it down on a stone in the middle of the clearing. This caused the gods to immediately begin a war that has lasted to this day. There is a small area around the helmet that no god will allow any of the others to enter, for this reason they have killed each other, came back and started again since that day. It is said that the force of the fight is unlike anything man has ever witnessed. No mortal can possibly withstand even a single attack from one of the immortals that is why the elders say it is a suicide mission. After the battle for the helmet began Kaidu and his wife lived until his natural death in peace, and they had fifteen more children. They were all boys, and they became the first elder council empowered by their godly mother to rule over our people and protect the remains of their father. That is why the elder council is made of the strongest men." Hawk and I continued down the path unhindered.

"Seems questionable." I stated.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, doesn't it seem convenient to you that the elders were the strongest men back then, and now they use the justification from a goddess, with no witnesses to the event, and no physical documentation? This just seems like a classic case where a group of people perpetuates their own leadership by claiming divine right."

"Would someone really do that?" Hawk asked.

"You know to be so smart you can be real naive, that is pretty much the case in half the world I come from." I stated and then we walked in silence.