I came crashing into Hawk's house panting and out of breath after running solid for a half mile. "Hawk, I need your help!" I was sucking wind and the room was spinning a little.
"You always need my help, what do you need now?" he replied from the hearth where he seemed to be preparing a soup.
"I lost all of my clothes!"
"I can see that, was it Lianne?" He asked not even bothering to look over at me while he still tasted and added a leafy seasoning to the pot.
"They are GOD LEVEL artifacts! I need them back, now!"
"They are GOD LEVEL?" he mocked.
"Yes, each item is a special one of a kind artifact that together make up one seriously powerful set of clothes. I am just a normal adventurer that can't beat up a rat without them," I was finally catching my breath, but now I was getting intoxicated by the heavenly smell from the hearth.
"You got yourself into this mess now get yourself out of it," he said sampling the soup then shoveling out a large helping into a loaf of bread with the middle scooped out.
"You think you could point me in the right direction? It seems like you have dealt with this sort of thing in the past," and while you are at it pass a bowl.
"How did she distract you?"
"She jumped naked into the river with me and tread water while asking me if you were gay," might have been an insensitive way to break the news to him.
He spit his mouthful of soup out after nearly choking on it, hit himself in the chest and asked, "What? Why would she ask that and what did you tell her?" No comment about the nudity? Guess she is something of an exhibitionist.
"I told her she should ask you and that she probably didn't have to get naked to do it. She seems to think that since we were hanging around each other and I stayed here last night that we must be more than friends."
"Friends? When did we become friends? At what point during our brief relationship have you worried about my opinion or asked anything about me that doesn't have to do with you?" He advanced dwarfing me with his massive frame.
"I know I have been kind of self-centered, but I am working on it. Plus, I have let you have all the loot that we find, and where I am from you only do something like that for a real friend. I will get better at expressing myself; I really like you," I backed away slowly and bumped into the chest we found the day before.
Hawk noticed and looked a little embarrassed. He just hung his head, "I know how it is to have trouble expressing yourself, I am sorry that I overreacted. So much has happened the past couple weeks and I am having a bit of an identity crisis. It isn't a small thing to give someone a chest without knowing what is inside here either," he spread his arms for a hug.
I stepped forward not wanting to ruin the moment but really, I haven't hugged someone that I am not blood related to since that time on the sub when we found out we were missing Christmas. It wasn't bad if I am honest. "We don't need to make a habit of this, but it does feel nice to have someone to depend on. I promise I will do better; my best friend and I have known each other our whole lives and I don't have any other friends. I guess I am a little out of practice with making new relationships. I might apologize to him next time I see him, right after I kill him," I said after we awkwardly separated.
We were just standing there for a few seconds, until Hawk handed me the bowl in his hand and went to get another one. We just sat and had a nice meal together, then we started talking about Lianne and the likely location of my priceless artifacts.
"She is the daughter of the lumber jack? That would explain the sturdy build, bet they put down some carbs in that house," Hawk just stared at me. "Food energy, some foods have more of it like pasta, sugar, potatoes, and pancakes," I informed him.
"We have potatoes, and yeah he can pack away some food, huge man. Whatever you do don't tell him that his daughter swam naked with you. He can put a full size hundred-year-old tree down in less than thirty seconds, you wouldn't be much of a challenge," he indicated all of me.
"What is the game plan then? We must get them back, I think they may return on their own over time, but I don't know how long that will take. I know that nobody else can wear them in the meantime, but I sort of feel naked without them even if I don't technically need to wear clothes," I said while leaning back and rubbing my belly.
"Just follow my lead, and whatever you do don't contradict anything that I say. You screw this up, and we could end up cut in half," he told me faking a swing with an axe.
We arrived at the large log house just before noon, turns out sleeping in here is not seeing the sun rise. The house was perfectly identical to Hawk's house, just scaled up. Every board was almost half again as big as the ones in Hawk's house. I looked over at Hawk and asked, "Why is everything so large? Is he compensating for something?"
"No, he is just so large that he can't fit in a normal sized house comfortably. He had to scale up the house to exact values in order to be able to walk through the door without hitting his head. He is the largest man in our recorded history, and probably the strongest too so don't mess with him!" He stared at me accusingly.
"Hawk!" Came a booming rippling gravel grinding voice straight from the largest chest of any man I had ever seen. He had to be over nine feet tall and well over five hundred pounds of nothing but muscle. He had long wavy black hair that was already wet with either water or sweat. He wore a long beard with only a few grey hairs, and he had rosy cheeks. He started again while pulling back a hand the size of a frying pan, "you never come by and visit! To what do I owe the honor," just then a strong wind kicked up as the hand rushed forward at prodigious speed and the air sang with the rhythm of his hand's flight. It connected solid right between Hawk's shoulder blades. There was a deep boom like a base drum being hit with a baseball bat and I knew that all the air had left Hawk for the rest of time.
Hawk didn't even move; he just smiled and returned the gesture aiming at the large man's shoulder. Hawk's hand moved so fast that I lost sight of it midair then it connected with a smack that echoed through the trees and I could feel the concussive force of the blow. The large man just smiled down at Hawk and they clasped wrists in a more formal show of greeting.
"You hit like a Man! When did you grow up and become so strong? Your dad would be proud, you know we used to" He began, but was cut off.
"I know you have told me before, but first Bjorn meet Zanthos my new companion and friend. We are going to go on an adventure in a few days, but it seems that he has misplaced his clothes. You think he could work with you for a day to save up enough to buy a new set?" Hawk's wolfish grin grew even more as he saw the realization brake across my face that I would have to cut trees down all day.
"I can always use an extra hand! You have any skill in the art little man?" He kneeled like you would to talk to a child.
"No, but I love to learn. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two. You seem to know what you are doing," I smiled up at him, 'Gee mister you're really strong!'
"I am sure I can! Like you already Zanthos takes a big man to admit he doesn't know something. Takes a bigger man to listen to someone who does."
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We both went behind the house and he handed me a normal sized axe and then the most grueling day of work in my life began.
Ten minutes after dark we finally emerged from the trees back into civilization. I had gained and leveled the 'Lumberjack' skill to a level of 'Intermediate 1' which was apparently the most amazing thing Bjorn had seen since his first set of breasts.
"That one is a fast learner Hawk, never seen anything like it! Every hit was perfect like he had been doing it for years, I would have sworn you were lying if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," he was shaking his head at me. He then indicated all of me, "just look at him, does he look like the type of man that can swing an axe?" This is becoming an issue.
"Let's call it beginners' luck." Hawk said while smiling at me.
My luck stat was still abnormally high, and every swing I made gave me a prompt of perfect hit and some added damage to the tree. Apparently, they had a sort of mini game set up for felling trees. Sort of like a bowling or golf game with a swaying power meter, except there was no GUI and I was very good at it.
Bjorn reached into his pocket and pulled out a small copper coin and handed it to Hawk, who pocketed it immediately. Bjorn then laughed, "you got me this time, never thought he would make it through the day!"
I kicked Hawk in the shin, because I couldn't lift my arms to punch him.
Bjorn just shook his head, "You two young lads are more than welcome to stay for dinner. My little Lianne always cooks way more than I can eat. She has taken good care of me, some day she will make a fine wife for a young man, but she isn't in any hurry," he just smiled at his own internal joke.
"We really must get going, the traders are heading out this evening so Zanthos needs to get those clothes," he looked over at me.
"Oh yeah, I need those clothes, for the adventure that we are definitely going on soon," I suck at acting.
"They won't leave for hours! It is the least we can do, you were a tremendous help and I know you must be tired. That work will take it out of you until you get used to it. I insist," Bjorn said as if it wasn't an offer we wanted to refuse.
"Alright, we will come, but no dessert just the main course. We still have some stuff to do before we go to sleep." Was that some insinuation he was aiming at me? I hope he isn't getting the wrong idea about this. Then I noticed Hawk eye browing me to death.
Oh yeah, play along, "Lots of stuff, that we need to do. Before we go to bed, lots of packing and stuff," I am not helping out my reputation with this family.
Bjorn just shook his head and went into the abnormally large door.
Dinner was just as expected carbs, with a side of carbs, dipped in lard and more carbs and served piping hot. Lianne almost dropped the giant serving tray that was her father's plate when she saw me walk through the door. We didn't talk at all during the meal, not sure if that is a cultural thing, or if this was just the result of the strange situation we were in.
I had to break the silence, "So good to finally meet you Lianne your father brags about you constantly I am glad that you live up to the hype. That was a good meal!"
Lianne eyed me with suspicion, "Thank you it was my mother's recipes, to be honest I am not nearly as good as she was, but I try. Don't believe half of what he says, he has a biased opinion," she smiled at her father from across the table.
"Well he said that you keep a clean house, serve good food, tend a small garden, have child birthing hips, and I am paraphrasing here, but an ample bosom. Seems like accurate information from where I am sitting," she actually blushed, most likely a show for dear old dad.
"He is always trying to convince somebody to take me off his hands. Truth is he would be lost without me," she smiled and began clearing plates. I grabbed mine and Hawk's then started to follow her out the room.
Bjorn spoke up, "Great idea, Hawk and I have some catching up to do since he doesn't come around much anymore, and I am always working. Be a lad and give her a hand for a few minutes while we talk."
"Sure, just don't tell him that I told you that one story. I think Hawk is a little embarrassed by it," Hawk glared at me as I backed out the room to help Lianne.
"What are you playing at?" She attacked me as soon as we were out of earshot.
I held my hands up and backed against the wall while holding the empty plates, "Just wanted to help clean up, the least I can do for such a kind and gracious hostess," I said in a voice that would carry through the whole cabin.
She stepped close, real close, then she reached out and plucked the plates turned and walked to the back of the room. She grabbed a scrubbing brush out of a wooden bucket and started to clean the polished wooden plates as she spoke under her voice, "You know what I mean, why are you hear and why does my dad like you so much? I haven't been allowed alone with a man in five years, you cut a few trees with him and he just throws you at me," either the brush or the plate was going to come apart with the force of the scrubbing. Not sure why she was being so forceful I almost licked the plate clean after I sopped up the grease with a chunk of bread.
"We got along well right from the start, he said that I was a natural with an axe and he had never seen such a 'wee' man fell a monster tree so perfectly. He has a way with words," I trailed off as she turned on me holding up a dull knife used to spread honey.
"You listen to me! Just because I swam with you doesn't mean you have a free ticket to all of this," she indicated her curvy figure. She then started exclaiming her points with thrusts of the knife into my scaled chest, "you see a set of tits and think you have a claim to them? You want to soften up dear old dad and skip me all together? That isn't how I work!" Each sentence drove me back a little until I bumped into something solid, and you guessed it wood behind me.
"You have it all wrong! We aren't even the same species; I don't even know if that would work!" Be happy to give it a go though, maybe in a few years when you get a little older.
Her face turned a little pink but she didn't stop, "You know it would work, I saw the way you were looking, and that little pouch might not be see through, but it isn't hiding much," she pointed to the sack covering my admittedly not fully flaccid member.
Pretty sure I don't blush instead my scales got a little darker, my throat swelled, and my mouth sat slightly ajar. Overall not a good look.
"You should leave before I tell dad why you are really here."
What? She is still hung up on the wrong idea, I reached out and lowered her hand and said, "I just need my clothes back. They are important to me, and only me. I can give you some gold if you need it but I need my clothes, you don't know what I had to do to get them," I had to smell a dragon god's fart for one thing.
She looked away embarrassed, then spoke softly, "I sold them to a traveling hob tinker," was all she said.
"You what?" I almost screamed but caught myself.
"I needed some money, and I knew you could walk around without clothes. They looked primitive so I didn't think they would be all that hard to replace. I didn't know they had sentimental value," she had tears in her eyes.
Now I feel bad? This sucks can't win an argument with a woman in a video game! I put my hand on her shoulder and pulled her chin up a little, she stood a good head taller than me and said, "You couldn't know, just help me find them. They are very important to me. What do you need the money for? I am sure Hawk and I can help; we aren't going to be very busy after we get my gear back," female party member? Fingers crossed!
The tear that had been forming started to fall down her cheek and my heart broke a little, not as much as when I met Andrea, but close. She started to speak, "I am going to lose my mind if I have to spend one more month in this village! I need a change of pace, something other than endless chores and trees. I would even settle for sleeping in a house that isn't identical to every other house, maybe an inn. I need more from life than this," she twirled in place showing off her tattered apron and worn shoes, causing her long shiny hair to cascade in the air. She continued, "This life is perfect for dad, but I need some variety! Something fun, adventurous, mysterious, or just different for a change. You have the right idea, no roots nothing to hold you down," she started back in on the dishes.
She continued in a more relaxed voice, "I can't hurt my dad though. I wasn't kidding earlier he would be lost without me. He is a great man, but I am holding him back. I look just like my mother and he feels too guilty to start looking for a new wife," her shoulders were slumped, resigned to continue this life.
"You know maybe the reason he hasn't taken a wife is because you do all the things he expects of a wife. If he didn't have someone he trusted and loved in the house he might be a little more motivated to find someone," here I am giving life advice. I wish there was a small list of "right" answers to pick from, this is way too hard.
"Maybe, but I can't bring myself to try. I only got one silver for those clothes, and that will only pay for a few nights on the road. I need more money and I need someone I trust to watch over dad. You think I could go with you to the mines?" She suddenly swirled brush still in hand slinging droplets of soap and water over the area.
I was stunned. How did she know about the mines? Is she some sort of fortune teller or farseer? Wait didn't someone mention hobs owning the mines or something? Maybe that is what she meant. Staying silent too long, will need to answer soon. I opened my mouth, silence, tried again, more silence. I am not saying that I was stumped I mean no words came out then I noticed that Lianne wasn't moving at all.
Not this again!