The rest of Nik’s year in the Old Growth passed slowly like the seasons. The heat of summer giving way to the bright colours of autumn, the the cold of winter before the first signs of spring began again.

He’d wandered in many skins other than his own. Listen as the Grandfather Tree told him the dark tales of his people. Giving him thoughts to ponder. Did he really want to take this all on. His mind changed as the wind did, one moment ready to leave it all behind, another he was ready to bare all the burdens.

Noctus came back twice more to trick him, once in the dead of winter. In the middle of a blizzard. Nik had taken shelter in the same cave and the fey had come with the offer of a hot meal to stave off the cold night. As much as Nik wished for the hot, amazing smelling meal, but he declined and offered Noctus food from his own stores. The two of them once more found themselves falling into pleasures once more. Nik waking up along the next day the same as last time.

The final time was on the last night before Nik was to depart for home, spring was in full bloom and the days were getting longer. The owl man once more crept into his camp. This time he came with a cloak of feathers draped over his arm.

“For your return home.” He said held out the cloak, “The clothes you have on are pretty worn.”

“You’re not really trying any more are you?” Nik smirked. “No thank you, no thank you, no thank you. I deny you three times. Now come sit down.”

The fey smirked and joined him by the fire.

“So this is really your last night in the Old Growth?” Noctus sat close to his mortal lover, taking Niks hand.

“Yeah, I return home tomorrow. My year is up.”

“Still say you should stay with me,” Noctus smiled.

“I’d be gone long before you looked like you aged a day. Not the life I’d want.” Nik sighed.

“Have you decided to forget me then?” the owl man asked. “And all you’ve come to know this year.”

“Honestly I haven’t…” Nik threw another stick on the fire. “I really should by now shouldn’t I?”

“Its only the rest of you life and since you wont come with me would probably should make up you mind.”

“How about we just enjoy tonight, and I’ll deal with tomorrow when you’re gone again.” Nik kissed his neck.

“Like I said before Nikulas, you are the wild.” Noctus kissed his head.

“The let me be wild one last time.”

*********

Nik lost could of how many times that night the two of them had went around, but the fire’s embers burned low by the time the mortal side of the coin could go no longer and the two of them lay there in the dim light. Nik with his head on Noctus’ chest, under soft furs, the bird man humming a peaceful tune.

“I think you can bare it Nik.” He spoke after the fire had gone out.

“Bare what?” Nik raised his head.

“The secrets of your people.”

“I thought we weren’t talking about this tonight.”

“Just listen mortal.” Noctus nudged him up and reignited the fire. “I don’t think you realized what you did tonight.”

“I had sex with a fey under the stars.” Nik rolled his eyes. “Not the first time.”

“For the third time.” Noctus said. “Three times you were not tricked by my ploys, three times you declined to come with me to the fey, and three times we have laid together Nilakus Morel, I have no power over you any more. Nor will any fey. You are Dearbhadh, resistant. That’s the sort of man, one who cannot be tricked or tempted by anyone, your heart is ture. That in my mind anyways is a man that can lead.”

“I thought you were a Dark fey.” Nik smirked. “and yet here you are talking about what’s noble and right.”

“I am a dark fey, which means I know you hold power. Power I failed to take for myself. Power I would be sad to see you loose.”

“Yeah…this is the last time I’m seeing you isn’t it?” Nik looked him in the eye. “That’s why you are bringing it up.”

“My three chances to take you have been spent,” he ran his hand down the side of his face. “Time I moved on, and see if I can collect another.”

“You really didn’t try all that hard to collect me don’t lie.” Nik laughed.

“Usually the song thing gets people. That’s really my only trick.” The fey returned the laugh, “The other two times, well excuse to see you.”

“I’ll miss you Noctus.”

“Don’t miss me before I’m gone, bad luck come from such things,” Noctus leaned in and kissed him. “Rest now, and I shall sing you one last song.”

Nik cuddled back into the owl man and closed his eyes as Noctus began to sing;

Dheannain sùgradh ris a nighean duibhN' deidh dhomh eirigh as a 'mhadainnDheannain sùgradh ris a nighean duibh

Dheannain sùgradh ris a'ghruagaich'Nuair a bhiodh a' sluagh nan codal

******

And so the sun rose of Nikuas. The last time he’d wake up in the Old Growth, Noctus was gone, save for a few feathers. The dream he’d been living in over.

Nik rubbed his eyes and yawned. Looking around and the vibrant spring morning, in two days time he’s be home again. Would his family even know him now? He wasn’t even sure he knew himself. Or would all this growth be uprooted in one swoop and all he would do is return older, like his father had?

Nik picked up one of the brown speckled feathers and held it up to the morning light. It still held a slight Fey essence to it. Nik could sense it. The only thing had to hold on to know that it had all been real. That Noctus had not just been too many mind altering mushrooms and weeds.

As the light shone threw it Nik watched as it slowly began to fade to nothingness like they had down both times before. Except this time, he heard humming and his hand began to tingle.

A gift with no price, no interest, nor strings.

For our time spent together I shall grant you my wings

He heard Noctus’ voice sing in his head before he watched the shape of the feather appear on the side of his hand. Light brown marks barley evident on Niks tanned skill. He looked at his had for a moment, thinking on the words.

“That couldn’t have been vaguer you know.” Nik called into the woods with a laugh.

You can turn into an owl you idiot, now go! Get yourself to that tree.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

Nik smiled and gathered his things. It would have been years before he would have been able to make such a change on his own. People would have questions, but none of them would believe the real answer.

He focused on the shape. His body shifting effortlessly, even less so than when he took other forms. Becoming a small tawny owl. It felt different than the other shapes, the best he could put his finger on it was less limited. More true to the real thing and less a copy.

He took off testing out the new wings. Flying high and looping through the trees. He’d never felt freer than he did right now. His mind never clearer. More sure of himself.

Another owl joined him for a moment. Small and brown the same a him. They looped though the trees for a bit before Nik flew towards the Grandfather Tree and Noctus flew off to the unknown.

*******

He’d spent most of the day still mulling over what his was to do. Perched up in the branches of the ancient tree, still in this new owl form, until the stun reached late afternoon. He knew the time had come.

Nik shifted back, and ran his hand along the branch on which he sat, feeling that powerful nature energy running through him, listing to the life around him. He smiled, returning some of that power into the Grandfather Tree, small flowers budding from the branches.

You are ready to make your choice now sapling? If you will bare the secret of your circles rot or forget your time here.

The Grandfather Trees voice resonated around him, as it woke from its slumber. The wood creaking and the branches rustling.

“I have Grandfather.” Nik breathed deep. “I still don’t think myself a leader but… it is a secret I will learn to bare. I will take on the rot of my Circle and keep locked away the Queen of rot and death…. I grew far to much this year to forget it all.”

So it shall be than Niklus.

The Grandfather Tree smiled.

May your roots continue to grow deep and strong. Now go home and take your place as a leader of your village.

“Will I hear it even there. The voiced of the woods?” Nik ask as the branch lowed him to the ground.

That and more sapling. As you grow so will you sense of the forest until you will hearthe whisper of a leaf.

“I look forward to it.” Nik bowed. “Thank you Grandfather for everything.”

The great tree nodded and once more closed its mossy eyes once more as Nik changed back to his owl form and made his way out of the old growth.

*********

Nothing had changed. Home was still the same cluster of earthy huts among the trees. Nik watched from afar for a bit, in the owl skin before venturing near. This trees still whispering to him. People went about their daily tasks, hear heard laughter and song, children running and parented calling after them. These were the people he was going to bare the secret for.

Shifting back Nik began his walk along the path into the village. Heads turned as he passed, no doubt at his wild appearance, long hair and unshaven, he had lived in the woods for a year alone. But no one ran, no one shouted and called for aid, they knew he was one of their own. They followed behind them as he walked home, his parents outside enjoying their midday meal.

“Blessed is the Forest for brining you back to me.” His mother leaped to her feet and hugged him tight. Nik wrapped his arms around her not wanting to let her go.

His father rose slower. Looking at his son with a knowing eye. Nik broke from his mother’s hug and approached him.

“There is much to learn in the Old Growth, many lessons I took to heart.” Nik said.

“You’ve come back a man Nikulas. Eat before the elders call for you.” His father nodded.

“And please clean your self up before you do.” His mother ran her fingers along his scraggly beard.

“Yes mother.” He smiled; this was so different from the life he had been leading but oh was he happy to be home.

**********

The elders did call for him, later that night, after he had eaten and cleaned himself up, shared the stories he could with his family; Noctus not among them. Nik heard their summons on the wind. No time to rest it seemed his new burden began now.

He made his was to the elders tent, where the leaders of his Circle held their court. Wisemen and women, who made the laws, told the stories, brought children into this world; the heart of life. The Grandfather tree said he would be counted among them.

They had gathered together around the central fire. Most of them his father’s age, some of them older. All eyes falling on him studying this new one among them. Nik bowed and kneeled facing them, placing his staff in-front of him.

“Niklus.”one of the male elders spoke. How do you come back to us?”

“I come back with the knowledge of the Queen of Rot and what us chosen are bond to keep secret and protect.” He said solemnly.

“Yes child, you now bare the burden as we do.”

“I am ready to take my place among you.” Nike raised his head proudly.

“You will not be counted among us for much time child.” Another spoke. “A man of of barely 18 cannot lead wisely. You bare the burden but must live with it powerless before you can truly understand the nature of it. For now be young. Live as you did and keep the secret.”

“So all that to be told just to do nothing?” Nik frowned.

“The caterpillar must spend a great deal of time doing noting if he is to become a butterfly.”

“I see…” Nik rose to his feet, “guess I’ll go then….”

A year of tough choices, just to be told that.

******

Nik went home to bed, saying nothing to his parents and going right to sleep. What had been the point of it all? He’d spent a year of his life mostly alone for nothing. All he’d learned. And they wanted him to do nothing because of his age.

The next morning he gathered his things and set up his own hut on edge of the village. He was too old to be living with his parents now anyways, but he had also grown used to the quiet and seclusion. That and knowing what he now, well, Nik wasn’t all that sure about being around others just yet. But he promised his mother he’d come for supper every night and assured his father he would not be shirking his responsibilities, whatever those were now.

His new home was sparce but, Nik didn’t really need all that much. A bed and some cooking gear, he’d made due with far less. The first night he made a little fire and sat silently watching the flames dance about, smoking some subpar weed he’d found in the things he’d left at home. Try to let his mind settle from the anger he still felt.

Caterpillar in a cocoon…

What sort of bullshit was that? Shouldn’t they want his voice among them, the bunch of old fungus. The youngest of them was older than his father. It be years before they would even look his way. Nik would have no one to talk to about the burden of the Queen of Rot. His father could have been one of them, but had chosen the forgetting. Nik thought he was a coward, but at the same time was regretting his choice just a bit.

Maybe he should have went with Noctus…No that wouldn’t have solved anything. Though he already missed the Fey. But that was probably his anger wanting someone to vent to.

He took another toke and his mind began to settle.

It was a test, he knew. To see if he could really live with it, or would he blab to the first person who asked. Few people had welcomed him back, let alone tried to have a conversation. All his friends had their place in the Circle, new lives and responsibility, no time to check in it seemed. No one was lining up to hear where he was all that time.

Life had moved on without him as it always did. As nature did, there wasn’t even a celebration, not that he wanted that.

He poked at the fire with a stick and watched the embers crack and spark. It would get better. Growth was slow and he knew that. The Grandfather Tree called him sapling after all, maybe he did need those years on him.

Nik settled and continued to smoke the old weed He’d start a better crop of this tomorrow. Not like anything else needed his attention.

“Nik?” a voice broke him from his pensive trance.

“Who’s that?” Niks head went up and saw a man standing across the fire from him. “West?”

“Yeah…” the newcomer shifted awkwardly. “Thought I’d come see you… since your back.”

“Don’t feel you have to West.” Nik smiled a bit. “It’s been a year.”

“That and your father broke up with me for you.” West laughed.

“Yeah that didn’t mortify me at all.”

“You look well Nik.” West sat down beside him.

“You too.” Nik scanned his old flame, he came wearing a cloak of light blue fabric. “Your in training then to be the new envoy with the temple in the South Growth.”

“Yeah,” he pulled the holy symbol out from his shirt. “Mainly its just a lot of traveling.”

“Its an important relation for the Circle.” Nik passed him the joint. “want some?”

“I’m good thanks.” West declined. “but your year… how’d it go?”

“It was a year.” Nik said. “But I’m stronger for it, I guess.”

“No committal as always.” West laughed. “I missed you.”

“I thought of you.”

“But didn’t miss?”

“Will you be annoyed if I said no?” Nik looked to him.

“We were nothing but physical anyways, not annoyed at all.”

“I’m glade you understand.” Nik smiled, “the physical was always fun though.”

“It was.”

“You got someone to rush home for, or you want to get physical for old times sake?” Nik looked at him after a moment.

“Always so forward.” West laughed, drawing closer. “I got no where to be.”

“Good.”

The two of them embraced, and soon fell into passion. It wasn’t even comparable to what it had been like with Noctus. Fey had that presence and that a human couldn’t rise to, no matter the connection. But it was something, and that all Nik really needed was something to occupy his mind.

*******

West stayed the night. For Nik it was nice for a change, waking up to someone there. His head not burry on the events that passed between them. Some sense of normalcy. They woke, and parted ways having their own lives to get back to.

Nik life became a quite hermit on the edge of the village. Setting himself to patrols and gathering plants for the village healers to make medicines from. Speaking with and helping the animals/ His new sense of the forest making this hard plants easy to find and wants of the creatures easier to comprehend. He did this quietly and took the praise for his efforts with a smile, and life went on.

There was often an their approval that Nik had fallen in line.. It felt a little uncomfortable with the weight of the knowledge on him. But Nik enjoyed this quiet life none the less.

But then he began to have followers…

At first it was a few of the younger children tagging a long behind him as he walked the woods asking questions and wanting to learn. He took them under his wings, and showed them the difference between certain plants and how to do the simplest of druid craft. They’d run away happily to show off their new skills.

The older ones came later teenagers and others his age or a little older. Asking questions about his time in the Old Growth. Nik answered as best he could, telling them of the splendor, and presence of the place, the peace that he found in those trees. They listened intently, showing up on his patrols or at his fire at night. Bringing food or other things to trade for stories or advice on training.

He met new people, new lovers, but no one he ever felt close enough to start anything with. For all the stories he told he, could tell no one thethe tale that ate at him so. For some reason people wanted listen to what he to say. It took a while for Nik to notice but when up to ten people were showing up to walk with him at a time, it was hard not to.

“People can sense the growth in you lad.” His father said. “and are drawn to it.”

“I don’t want the special attention.” He sighed.

“They are looking to you for guidance, its not special attention its respect.”

“Respect I’ve really done nothing to earn.”

“Then earn it.”

Fathers had a bad habit of saying things like that without any actual guidance of their own. How was Nik supposed to be a guide if he didn’t know where he was even going?