Years passed, and before Daymin knew it him and Baz had been at the temple five years. . Him and Baz had grown stronger, true hands of their goddess. But the place never felt like it was home. Daymin couldn’t forget when it was just the two of them.

They trained and went on missions. For Daymin the killing got easier, now he didn’t even think twice about any of it. He didn’t even flinch when Baz took a hit now, knowing his partner would rally. Daymin had found his focus and had taken the first steps on the path to becoming a Paladin. Master Geriel said he’d soon be ready to take his oaths.

And Baz… Daymin couldn’t fathom how much he’d flourished here, constantly blinding him with his light.

He’s had become fast and silent a ghost on the battlefield. Slipping in ahead of Daymin and picking off lookouts or hiding behind his friends hulking form and attacking in the wave of Daymin frontal assaults. He never seemed to waver, slashing with his swords, a true hand of vengeance. No weakness.

Daymin never saw that light from him again though. Like he had that first mission.

“The Scourger’s Light.” Master Geriel had explained to Daymin one day when he had asked about the Light. “Bezaliel has the potential to ascend to a higher form than he takes now.”

“A higher forum?” Daymin asks.

The old man began to glow with that same light. His eyes going white and two wings of white flames sprouted from his back. Daymin stood frozen in fear at the site of it, remembering that day.

“We angel bloods can take many forms. Right now, you and Bezaliel are Protectors, strong and noble servants, your wings are bright and splendorous. People see you as beacons of hope. Mine are the radiant fires of judgment, and power, my light burns to consume and destroy those who stand against our Goddess. A light both you boys have the potential of unlocking some day.”

“Both of us?”

“Your strengths lie elsewhere Daymin, but you are no less capable. Bezaliel has always been a few steps a head. Your time will come, and the Scourger’s Light will shine in you too.”

“But what if it doesn’t?” Daymin asked.

“There is no shame in remaining a Protector Daymin. Its those who Fall to the Darkness the Goddess has no use for.”

“Fall to the darkness?”

“To Fall and lose you light is a sin the Goddess will not abide. For it is to become a monster, causing fear wherever you step, and not just to your enemies your allies as well.” Master Geriel let the light fade. “My partner fell to darkness, and the day was dark when I had to end her.”

“She fell…”

“Baz will not Fall.” Master Geriel cut him off. “and thinking such things will lead to your own. Push it from your mind. Serve the Goddess faithfully and she will not let you.”

******

Master Geriel’s words clung to him as Daymin and Baz’s went about their duties, going on missions and tending to their studies. Daymin couldn’t imagine what he’d do if Baz fell. If he fell. What that would force the other to do. It be like cutting off his own arm, loosing a part of him. But that would never happen. Baz’s faith was unshakable and Daymin’s was too, so long as he had his friend by his side.

Like they were now, walking the streets of Orlbar, side by side, white cloaks around them, ghost in the snow as other people rushed past them laughing, with bundles in their arms rushing to the center of town for the Midwinter Festival. Like every year they were acting as security, so that the normal towns guards could enjoy themselves. Daymin and Baz were worth ten of them each. It was all part of their temples end of year thanks for all the offerings given by the community. Like everything it was duty.

“Wouldn’t you want to try that just once?” Daymin said pointing to a group of children having a snow ball fight.

“Its no different than training. Except I wouldn’t ever get hit.” Baz replied his eyes scanning the market.

“We used to do that sort of thing.” Dayming thought back to those early days it their little paradise.

“We did, though we never had snow. We also arn’t children Daymin.”

“I know Baz, but sometimes I miss those days you know.”

“Yeah.” Baz said no more as they continued to watch the goings on.

More people joined the fray as young and old scooped up handfuls of snow and laughed in merriment. The two angel bloods watching from the side lines. Always witnessing life but never apart of it. Why did it bother him now?

Daymin had spent years as a shadow on these streets, never caring once for interacting with others, or sharing in part of these sorts of simple joys. Maybe it was Master Geriel’s words that got him thinking, what would even make him fall to darkness? On big thing or lots of little things stacked on top of each other. Like watching from afar while others played and felt joy? What was so wrong about that?

“Baz?” he said after a bit, “Would it really be so bad if we relaxed a bit, did something like that.”

He motioned to the group that had once again grown.

“We are here so this is allowed to happen.” His friend said firmly. “Our pleasures come in the next life one or service is over.”

“You really think you can go another 150 odd years without any of that.”

“Yes, its what we were chosen to do Day, you shouldn’t question it.” Baz grabbed his arm firmly. “Besides, the last time I tried to goof off you nearly died,”

“Baz that was years ago. And we’ve both had plenty of close calls since then.”

“Frist time sticks with you though Day, like the goblins...”

“Yeah.”

“We don’t get to have a normal life. But I want to make sure the time I do have your there for.” Baz’s voice faltered a bit. “We need to keep moving, we’re 2 minutes behind on our rounds.”

“Right our rounds.” Daymin fell in as Baz marched off. Why did he even try? All he did was show Baz how lacking his devotion seemed.

******

Bed was welcomed after that chilly night. The cold had gotten into Daymins bones, and he shivered as he undressed before bed. Winter had never sat right with him, nor the cold, nights like these, rest did not come easy. The Mother often said it was because he was a Sun child, with his golden hair and bright eyes, that dwindles in winter and shines bright in summer. Simply not his season. Daymin didn’t put much stock in that, he blamed it more on a childhood where every day was perfect. But to complain and blame were not godly, he simple had to endure.

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“Take my extra blanket,” Baz broke the silence. “I can handle the night with just one.”

“Its fine I’ll endure.” Daymin chattered a bit, trying not to sound too sullen or ungrateful for the aid, their earlier conversation fixed in his mind still, how there lives were not meant to have joy. Why did he need another blanket then?

“I’m sorry for earlier.”

“No I shouldn’t of brought it up… we were on mission,”

“And I should have been a bit more understanding. You should be able to talk to me we’re partners.”

“I’m a hand of Vengeance too. But its not as easy for me.” Daymin sighed sitting on his bed.

“It not easy for me either, but this is or purposes Daymin, and if I don’t shut out the doubts then, I run the risk of failure, getting you killed or myself.” Baz sat beside him.

“You’ve shut me out too.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Yeah you have, we never talk anymore unless it’s about a mission, or training. You stay silent, distant, you don’t share when your happy or struggling, so I feel I can’t either.” Daymin let the words flow out now. “My faith is strong Baz, I know the Goddess is good and just, my devotion to her is unwavering, but she brought us together so we weren’t alone in all this.”

“You feel alone then?”

“Sometimes, I know you’re not meaning to do it.”

“No I should have been more aware…we should be able to talk like this again.” Baz looked at him. “We should be able to have a snowball fight and I hate it sometimes was can’t.”

“I wont push you, but it be nice to vent about life with you before bed again.”

The candles in the room slowly dimmed a flickered out. Time for the conversation to end and them to head to sleep. Baz lay back on Daymin’s bed and got himself under the covers.

“What are you doing?” Daymin looked down at him. “We haven’t shared a bed in years.”

“Yes but I’m tired and you wouldn’t take my extra blanket, and I’d rather not listen to you toss and turn all night.” Baz made room beside pressing his back to the wall. “I always found we slept better this way anyhow.”

“Me too.” Daymin crawled in beside him, “Baz…”

“Lights out Day,” Baz cut him off.

“Right, lights out.” Daymin sighed and closed his eyes the heat of his friend helping his drift off into a pleasant slumber.

*****

Weeks passed, into the coldest, darkest part of winter, and to Baz’s credit he did try. He made the point of talking to Daymin about his days, always something. But Daymin knew a lot of it felt forced, Baz still was so stoic and focused elsewhere; all his friend wanted was the silence and Daymin tried to give him that as much as he could. Keeping things short so they both felt like they got what they wanted. Progress felt like it was being made.

Then Baz came to their room that night glowing with joy. A light Daymin hadn’t seen glow quite so bright in a while.

“She spoke to me Daymin!” he grabbed his friend by the shoulders. “While I was finishing my lessons with the Mother. I have a mission right from her mouth Daymin!”

“That amazing Baz!” Daymin hugged him. “We do we leave.”

“I going alone Day.” Baz glow subsided a bit. “Solo mission.”

“What do you mean solo mission?” Daymin stepped back. “We always worked together.”

“It’s a long-term stealth mission Day. Out of your wheelhouse, and I can stay concealed better alone.”

“No. That can’t be right, we’re a team.”

“Daymin don’t question her will, she’s bid me go so I’m going.”

“It doesn’t bother you at all then?” Daymin stood firm “we’ve spent every day of the last 25 years together. Now she wants us apart.”

“It’s just for a little while Daymin. You can focus on preparing to take your Oaths. Master Geriel said you were nearly ready.”

“Yeah my Oaths, then there’s really no turning back is there?” He kick the dirt. “Devine holy knight…. Brother Brightstar…”

“That’s our path through life Daymin. Why are you suddenly unhappy with it all?”

“Maybe I want more of a life than just mission after mission, people our age have friends, lovers, families, what do we have Baz?”

“We have purpose Daymin.” Baz looked at him. “We are hands of Vengeance.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you are happy with that.”

“Daymin listen to what your saying.” Baz got in his face. “This is everything we’ve worked for all our lives. You want to start questioning things now.”

“Why can’t we serve the Goddess and have other things that bring us happiness too?”

“Because of what we are Daymin!” Baz shoved him. “I’m not repeating it again.”

“Good because I’m sick of hearing it!” Daymin pushed back making Baz stumble.

Baz’s swords appeared in his hands, a reaction to the force of the shove. His eyes narrowed.

“Go pray and pull yourself together Daymin.” Baz held one of the swords out before slowly lowering it again. “Its my last night…

“Fine I’ll go pray for your safe return.” Daymin turned to go.

“Day…”

“What?” His head snapped back around.

“Forget it.” Baz dismissed his blades. “Doesn’t matter anyway.”

*****

Daymin said his prayers for Baz’s safety. How could he not? He didn’t want anything to happen to him. As much as it pained him to think of Baz leaving, he knew Baz was right, if it was a stealth mission Daymin would just be a liability. What hurt him more was his reaction to Daymin wanting more out of life than missions and praying. Daymin didn’t think that was too much to want for.

“Goddess…” he prayed. “I find myself wanting… thinking that there is more to life than simply service…I struggle my goddess… please do not think me weak. I try so hard, but I do no have his resolve.”

All I ever ask of you is to try my Brightstar. The voice of his goddess spoke to him. Her light washing over him. Her divine fingers running through his golden locks. You are stronger than you may think, and such emotions will pass. And the wanting will stop once more.

“Yes oh Vengeful One.” He bowed his head deeply. “thank you for blessing me.”

Daymin shook as Her presence left him, a pit of sickness growing in his stomach. She said all this would pass, that the wanting would stop. She’d forgiven his errant thoughts, but hadn’t he already done the damage? Baz had drawn his swords ready to come to blows, over what he had said. Daymin had shoved him. That wasn’t them.

Collecting himself, Daymin left the temple and slowly started making his way back to their room. Running his hand along the stone walls as he went. This really was it wasn’t it? All he ever would need, all he should want. Was it really that simple? Had he really been that selfish for wanting more? Wanting a life?

His faith would have to fill him for now, something at least to keep him from feeling empty with Baz gone. Maybe he’s be more resolute man by the time Baz was back. Then maybe they would be them again.

Baz was packing when Daymin got back to the room. A small bag with the bare essentials, he was leaving at first light and thing way he wouldn’t be scrambling. His deep purple eyes locked on Daymin as he entered and went to lay on his bed and kicked off his boots. He wasn’t starting things again, nothing he said would matter anyway.

“How were your prayers?"

“She told me these feelings will pass,” Daymin stared at the ceiling. “So don’t worry about it,”

Baz went back to his packing, checking thing over and over again. Tightening the straps and loosening them again making sure things were to his linking. He set the pack in the corner and readied himself for bed. Lying back on his own bed and looking up as well.

“I’m going to the High Forest…” Baz finally spoke after their candles snuffed out. “Not that far, less that three days travel.”

“Alright.” Daymin replied. “You should get some rest you’ll need your strength for the journey.”

“Yeah,”

Daymin listened as Baz shifted in his bed, the sounds of covers being undone and slipped under. They were done now it seemed. Daymin rolled over on his side and closed his eyes.

*****

A few hours of restless sleep past and Daymin woke to Baz mumbling in his sleep. The odd word of word in Celestial audible.

Don’t go….

Stay…

Day…

He held his breath at the sound of his name, as the words repeated again a few times before Baz went silent again. His body still tossing restlessly. Daymin sat up and looked through the darkness to his friend. Baz never stirred this much.

Daymin rose and slowly walked to Baz’s bedside. Watching him suddenly ease as he drew near. He sat down on the side of the bed and watched as Baz settled into deep slumber This was going to be hard on both of them, wasn’t it?

Stay…

Baz mumbled again. How Daymin wanted to. they were supposed to be beyond this. Midwinter had been different, he told himself. But they both always found and excuse didn’t they. This could be the last time for a while, maybe ever.

Daymin lay down beside his friend and Baz instantly seemed to reach for him in his sleep. His hand grabbing onto Daymin’s wrist. Daymin smiled as his eyes grew heavy. He’d deal with Baz’s ire in the morning.

*****

“Day, get up.” Baz softly shook him awake.

Daymin opened his eyes, it was shortly before sunrise, Baz still lay beside him in the bed, a hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry…” Daymin began to move.

“Don’t be…” Baz stopped him. “I have to go soon.”

“Don’t remined me.” Daymin rolled onto his back. “Part of me hoped you would have just slipped out. I wouldn’t have noticed.”

“Like I’d do that.” Baz sat up. “Not to you anyways.”

“Baz, I don’t know what else to say if I’m honest,”

“How about good luck?”

“Yeah that.” Daymin sat up. “Just come back okay.”

Baz pressed his forehead to Daymin’s suddenly, took in a deep breath at the connection. Day closed his eyes and savoured this last moment.

“At the end of the day, I’ll come back to you I promise.” Baz said and he drew his head back and got out of bed.

Daymin nodded as his friend began to dress for his journey. Taking his time as he put on each layer. Daymin watching him as he did, taking him in, bathed in those first rays of winter sun. He didn’t have any more to say. Nothing better, than what had passed across Baz’s lips.

When he was ready Daymin rose and dressed quickly and the two of the walked to edge of town, their silence comfortable one more. One more knowing glance, and trusting smile, passed between them before Baz began his solitary walk down the road. Daymin watching until he was out of sight.

Only then did he cry.