Love is such a foolish thing. Yes. I am pessimistic about love. And that's okay. Call me young, call me a doomer, but that's okay.

Every romantic interest I've had was left unrequited. I was called "creepy" or "weird" for being so... different. You see, I grew up neurodivergent. And even when I tried to communicate with anyone, particularly with the opposite gender, people think it's me picking them up, where I was simply looking for someone to talk to. Why? Depressed. I was too depressed for a long time because of the way many of my peers had treated me.

The way Humans interact with me was disgusting. They said I was ugly and gross for having mannerisms different from theirs. I am not above Human. Could be below since I am so disgusting to their eyes. I was treated like scum, and when I die, people will begin talking about what a good friend I was to them. They say I am exhausting since I speak so deeply and think with depth. Because I am neurodivergent. I am called "mad".

BUT NAY, I say! I mustn't apologize for my nature! They have no right to call my autism an excuse for my nature. They cannot psychologically hurt me any longer! One time, the one I loved had a boy confess to him in front of my classroom without thinking of the psychological repercussions. She knew I loved her, but she did it anyway. One time, a girl I loved walked out from a Taxi with a guy who I hated, who belittle me, emasculated me, and I thought about taking my own life the next day after. One time, I was beaten by a girl I used to like. A metal bottle was beaten on the top of my head and she acted like she was the victim. Maybe I teased her a bit, but that was how I acted... How I saw love... since that was how I grew up seeing love from parents, grandparents, and family I knew... I was horrible at love. One time, a kid I once knew belittled me every single day because I was so different from him. I had differently-abled nature, different-colored skin, and he made fun of me for myself being "cringe". And if I die, I want you to know that you'd likely be the one who killed me. You are killers. You killed me for treating me differently. And I will return, and burn everything in this establishment from the ground, simply with my words. Simply by speaking up against the abuses my kind and my people receive. And the worst part is I am a nobody, and had the audacity to speak up against such abuse. A nobody with a purpose. A nobody defeated you. And you will hate me for I spoke against the abuse I received. But, if hate I will receive, blood I will find. These people, who judged me, turned me into a monster, if I have to be a monster to stand up for myself and others like me, then so be it. But I will not want to hurt anyone. No. I will build a palace of words that people like me will learn to stand up for themselves. Those different. Those called "weird". The autistic and the neurodivergent. We are not idiots. Our flaws are not weaknesses... Are not excuses... They are what makes us. So stand with me.

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