Chapter 4: Choosing A Name
Name Spade Class Fencer,Lvl3 Marks 9 Guild Old Guard Spawndate 959
Spade slept like a baby that night.
When he had told Ghelion goodbye and finally shut the door on his little spawning room, he had thought the nerves would keep him up all night. The small room was exactly as he had remembered it: smooth white walls broken only by a mirror and a single bed in the middle of the space. He had stretched out on the bed as the stars outside his window streaked slowly past and no sooner had his head hit the pillow than he was asleep. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as his consciousness slipped into a deeper realm, and he awaited the dream he knew was to come.
Hello? Is that you? Spade thought into the darkness of his mind. I cannot see you, I’m afraid.
I…think I do, hold on. Spade concentrated on the darkness until it was a swirling mass. A point of light appeared in the distance and then there was a loud smooshing sound as all the darkness was overcome by the light like a train cutting through the night with a light. The light overwhelmed the dark but Spade allowed the shadows to stay. He used his mind to spin the shadows into a familiar scene. A courtyard appeared with a twisted tree in its center. Stone benches lined the walls of the courtyard and hanging ivy clung to the ancient stone. Over head the sky was just giving way to morning and the stars were disappearing to shine in other skies.
“I suppose it is,” said Spade, looking around the courtyard. “Where are you?”
“Oh, right.” Spade focused on one of the benches and suddenly a woman appeared around his own age. She was dark of hair and looked what Spade would have imagined his sister to look like had he one.
Sister of my old body, that is. Spade was still not used to having a new face. Occasionally he would reach up and touch his new nose or jaw and feel as though he were wearing a mask.
The woman slowly clapped her hands. Her smile was a mixture of satisfaction and pride.
“Well done again, Spade.” She said. She stood up and spread her arms wide as she looked over her dress and body. “I am positively gorgeous. And this place,” she motioned at the courtyard. “Where are we?”
“This is my home in the East City. I like to come to this courtyard to read.”
The woman held up a finger knowingly. “Used to be your home, Spade. You gave it all up to AION, correct? That and all your contract marks which, when you finally awaken, you will find that your left arm no longer bears a single tattoo of any of your jobs.”
“Right. I know.” Spade shuffled his feet and looked away. “Look, I’m not much for praying to AION or anything—“
“Why not? You should try sometime.”
Spade waved his hand. “You can talk to him, right? Just let him know that I appreciate his allowing me to respawn.”
The dark haired woman laughed. “I am not one who can freely talk to him like that, Spade. I am but the Emissary of Dream, here to usher you into the new world.”
Spade shrugged. “Not so new for me anymore. But alright. Would you like to sit for this?”
“Actually, how about we walk around your former courtyard? I wouldn’t mind seeing your old stomping grounds as you remember them.”
With an arm extended as if to say “after you” Spade led her to the small path which encircled the courtyard. The Emissary took his arm and together they made a steady, leisurely pace. Without realizing what he was doing, Spade had imagined cool spring morning when he was making the courtyard in his mind. Flower buds were just opening around which the emissary enjoyed gently touching with a single long finger. The flowers would fully open at her touch and around her feet it seemed even the rocks and grass themselves swayed and undulated to her presence.
“You are being given rare opportunity, Spade,” said the Emissary after they nearly made a full circuit around the courtyard.
“Rare, but not unheard of?”
The emissary smiled her perfect smile. “Oh it’s happened a few times.”
“Really?” Relief flooded through Spade. “Up until I sighed the contract with Ghelion I was worried it wouldn’t work. He made it seem as though he wasn’t sure AION would accept it.”
“Your advisor took a big risk for you, Spade. He must really like you. He had no way of knowing that AION would accept it and the consequences for the failure of such a request could have been steep.”
Spade thought about Ghelion and a surge of affection and worry coursed through him.
“He’s a good man—advisor.” Spade corrected himself with a smile. “What exactly is he, Emissary? What are you?”
“I am a servant of AION, and that is all you need to know.”
“Can you tell me why he allowed me to respawn then?”
The Emissary shrugged and her dress rose and fell with her shoulders.
“I can only guess, dear. AION obviously wants you to begin anew. Perhaps he wants to give you a chance to atone for your sins. Perhaps its just for his amusement. This is a game, after all, don’t forget that.”
“Trust me I never forget that part.” Spade gazed at the twisted tree in the middle of the courtyard. “Then do I have some orders to follow?”
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“The answers to all of your questions can be discovered by simply playing. Engage with what AION has made for you. This world is your proving grounds.”
“That’s not very reassuring, Emissary,” said Spade. “How am I supposed to know whether what I am doing is what AION wants?”
“And here I thought you never cared what AION wanted,” responded the Emissary. “This is good to hear, Spade.”
Spade shrugged. “I don’t I guess, but I want to make sure I am not stepping on his digits—so to speak—if I just wander around the world doing my own thing for a while.”
“To thine own self be true, Spade. That’s all AION ever commanded of us.”
“Must you be so coy? Straight answers would be nice for once.”
The emissary squeezed his arm. “It’s how I was created, Spade. Please don’t think badly of me. We are each of us a slave to our destiny, no? Speaking of destiny, what new name shall we call you?”
“I really don’t know. What are my options?”
The Emissary tapped her finger on her chin thoughtfully. Names were an important part of her job. Spade imagined her thoughts leaping through complex computations and examining every possible future for a new name for him. Names had to be portentous, after all.
“How about Errol?”
“Errol? What kind of name is that?”
“It’s a swashbuckling one.”
“Is my future going to be ‘swashbuckling’ then?”
“Perhaps.” She snapped her fingers. “Lazarus? You are coming back from the dead, after all.”
“I’ve never heard of such a name. What does it portend for my future?”
“Not all names are about ones future, Spade. You’re old name for example could have several meanings.”
“How so?” He asked.
“Well, a spade is a shovel, as you know. What are shovels used for?”
“For burying things?”
The Emissary smiled. “Funny how your mind goes there immediately. I would have said ‘for uncovering things,’ but its your interpretation, I guess.”
“You could say that I ended up burying my old life, so maybe that’s exactly what you saw in my future the first time I spawned.”
“It could be so,” she said. “But humans are too difficult to predict to be 100% accurate. Anyways, I have another for you to consider.”
Spade waited expectantly.
“Chase,” she said simply.
“Chase,” repeated Spade. “Does this mean I am doing the chasing or being pursued?”
“Why must it be so intense? Perhaps the name means you will chase your dreams.”
Spade examined the Emissary’s face as she covered a smile.
“You are more inscrutable than ever before, Emissary.”
“I am a reflection of your mind, in a lot of ways. Maybe it’s you who has become more inscrutable.”
Spade sighed. It was easy to talk in circles with her if he wasn’t careful. “So those are my options? Chase, Errol, and…what was it, Larry?”
“Lazarus.”
“Which do you like the most?” asked Spade.
“Now there’s a question I rarely hear. New players usually argue with me or want more details about what their names portend. The truth is the name itself means less than why the players selects it. A players’ future is built upon their choices, not random fate tossing a name at them.”
“Then what is the point of letting us choose at all? Surely there are more important decisions that we are going to face.”
“Do not underestimate the power of a name, Spade. In the Old World this concept was little understood by most. AION has attempted to allow his players a chance to decide their fate. Now then, to answer your original question” for the first time she stopped walking. She tapped her chin again. “I like Chase.”
“Why?”
“No reason of import, I suppose. I think that Lazarus is more fitting, and perhaps Errol would describe a younger man best. Then again, I had heard you were chased to the island so perhaps this name was decided long before you came to me.”
Now it was Spade’s turn to think. He looked at the sky which was still as he had imagined it. The time of day would not change unless he willed it to change. His courtyard seemed to hold its breath in anticipation of his decision. No, he thought. This isn’t my courtyard. It’s just a dream. And even the real one far away no longer belongs to me. It is the property of a dead man.
“You are right about one thing, Emissary. I am no longer a young man. And grand adventures full of danger are not something I am going to be seeking. Willingly,” he added.
“So not Errol, then”
“No. Lazarus does have a ring to it, I must say. But it also sounds a bit too grand for someone who is technically a new player. Also, I have not returned from the dead, I am a new player entirely. The old me is gone forever as soon as I awaken. Perhaps Lazarus would cause me to cling to my past and try to recapture all I lost.”
The Emissary gazed at him with a blank expression, but somehow Spade felt as though she was proud of him.
“So,” she said. “Chase it is, then?”
Spade offered his arm again and with a smile she took it. The pair continued their circuit around the courtyard.
“It wouldn’t have been my first choice, but I feel as though there is little baggage with such a name. I could choose to chase or be chased. Dreams and desires, plans and goals. To chase after something would mean I am in charge of my own destiny. Yet the name also suggests I could become the hunted if I am not careful. Is that fair to say?”
She nodded slowly. “I think you are correct.”
“So it’s a knife’s edge I’ll be living on.”
“But one which you sharpen yourself, Spade.”
“Spade no more, Emissary.” He said.
She beamed. “So it’s decided? Your new name will be Chase?”
“I think so,” he said slowly. “I’ll take it.”
“Chase,” she repeated, seeming to savor the word. “I must admit a part of me still likes Errol, but, perhaps I will offer it to another.”
“You could always save it for me when I respawn again, Emissary.”
She laughed. “Oh I don’t think you will be given that chance again I am afraid. No one has ever respawned twice.”
“Only joking,” he said returning the laugh. “So, I don’t think you need to give me the run down about the world, right? I am quite the expert now. Lived there for 25 years after all.”
“Trust me…Chase,” she smiled again as she used the name. “You are no closer to being an expert on this creation than you were when you first spawned all those decades ago.”
“Truly? I was just a child then. You don’t think I know more now than I did when I was ten years old?”
“In many ways children know more about the world than full grown adults.”
“I don’t really understand your meaning, Emissary.”
She was quiet a bit. But when she spoke she seemed to be trying to hint at something else altogether.
“We are all children to AION,” she began. “But none so much as those who Spawn as actual children. You must promise me that you will help to guide these young ones.”
“Children?”
“All the children,” she said.
Spade waited for her to talk some more but nothing was forthcoming.
“Emissary,” he said at last. “Are you telling me to guide some young people once I spawn?”
She glanced at him. “I am not telling you anything. I am just the Emissary of Dreams and I do not deal in contracts. Just, I think you should consider helping new players. I think AION would wish this, also…”
“What is it?”
She sighed. “I cannot say much, Spade. Things in the world…well…things are becoming complicated…change is coming.”
Alarms bells rang in Spade’s mind.
“What do you mean?” He grasped her arm and locked onto her brown eyes.
“I have said too much already,” She said and then looked at the sky. Spade followed her gaze and saw that his morning sky was now turning a blood red like the sun setting over the field of battle.
“What’s going on?” Asked Spade. “I didn’t tell the sky to change.” He imagined it as it was and tried to change it back. The sky would not budge and instead turned a darker shade of crimson.
“Don’t bother,” she said. A weary sound entering her voice for the first time. “I have said too much. I think you need to be getting along now.”
“Wait, Emissary. What do you mean by change? And did AION change the color of the sky? Isn’t this MY dream? Is that even possible?”
“Spade, I—” she looked conflicted. “All I can say is no, AION did not change the sky.”
Now the ground began to shake as though an explosion had rocked the earth some distance away or an earth quake was rumbling somewhere in the deep.
“What’s going on? Emissary? Where did you go!?”
She was gone. Spade looked everywhere but he was now alone in the courtyard. Overhead the sky was now turning dark as though a storm cloud was boiling overhead or something gigantic had blocked out the sun.
Emissary, thought Spade, sending his thoughts far and wide. The darkness was slowly closing in. The ivy on the walls was being consumed in shadow and the shades were creeping along the ground like long, thin fingers. If this isn’t AION who is it?
Spade thought he heard her whisper a name low and soft.
Again. I can’t hear you.
Say it again, please! Spade flung his thoughts into the void as it consumed him. He was alone with only the barest whisper of a name in his mind. Now the tendrils of shadowed were twining and twisting their way around his legs, up his torso and around his shoulders. He tried to claw at his face as the shadows began to cover his mouth and eyes.
The emissary was gone. And Spade choked on his scream as he succumbed to the darkness.
———
BANG BANG BANG BANG
Chase awoke in a small bed in a small white room. He slowly opened his eyes.
BANG BANG BANG BANG
Someone was at the door.