When we arrive back at our new room in the castle, everyone is there. I suffered the only injury in the group, so Blix tends to me while Briareth investigates the poison the High Priest had, and Faladel and Istere try to wake up the Queen. Istere has taken her beard and her disguise off, so when the Queen finally opens her eyes, her first word is her daughter's name.

“Istere?” She asks. “Is it really you?”

Istere’s golden eyes widen, as if surprised that her mother recognises her. “Yes, ma, it’s me. It’s me.” She says gently as her mother reaches up and caresses her face.

“Oh! I knew it!” Her face breaks into a beatific smile. “I’ve finally reached you! His Holiness promised that the special retreat would do it! The rituals never worked before, I was beginning to lose hope, but–! Oh, I’m so grateful! I’ll have to give a huge donation this time around. Tell me dearest, how have you been? You’re older now, you look so lovely! How is the afterlife?! The other dead spirits haven’t been bullying you, have they?”

Istere starts to tear up a little as she smiles back. “Ma, I’m not dead! I never was dead. I’m alive! I’ve been alive all these years!” It’s clearly a relief to share her identity with the person who probably mourned her the most.

However, the Queen doesn’t seem to understand. Her still cloudy eyes blink in confusion at her daughters’ face. “What?! But that can’t be! You are dead! I mourned you, I went to your funeral. Wait, where are we?” She asks, finally looking around, taking a second to review her surroundings. “This doesn’t look like an afterlife, this looks like… a study?”

Her confusion is obvious, and Istere struggles to explain. “You’re back in the castle! You’re safe now. The High Priest– he was drugging you, using you.”

“That doesn’t make sense honey, the High Priest is a holy man, he’s a man of the church.” The Queen says firmly. “I can accept that you’re alive, that you’ve been alive all this time. Even if you did neglect to contact me.” She hesitates for a few seconds, pain crossing over her face as she realizes that she wasn’t considered trustworthy enough to tell, but then she continues as if nothing happened. “But even though you’ve miraculously survived for this long, that doesn’t mean you know everything. Those herbs were blessed, they were going to temporarily take me to the afterlife so I could visit your spirit. They weren’t drugs. The High Priest would never do anything so unscrupulous. This is another one of those mad ideas your brother put in your head wasn’t it? I bet it was his idea to hide the fact that you were alive from me this entire time too?!” She pushes herself upright, turning to glare at the rest of us.

“Where is he?! I know he’s around here somewhere! I want a word with him!” She shouts, her tone still commanding even though she can barely lift her own weight. “Who are these companions of yours anyway? They certainly don’t look like company a princess should keep!”

“Ma.” Istere says calmly, but I hear a hint of repressed frustration in her voice. “These are my friends. Blix here helped me survive after dad tried to kill me and –”

“You’re my step-son’s captain of his guards aren’t you?! Where is he?!” The Queen demands of Blix, cutting off Istere. Blix looks uncomfortably between Istere and the Queen, obviously not sure how to explain things.

“I’ll get to that shortly.” Istere says, trying to calm her down, “In the meantime, the rest of my friends here are Balderk,” I bow, assuming we’re supposed to all be pretending to be good dwarven citizens. “Briareth,” Briareth does a fancy swooping bow, that I have no clue where he learned, “and Faladel.” Istere finishes. Faladel doesn’t seem to get the message, and only nods perfunctorily.

The Queen sniffs, staring at us, unimpressed. “Istere my dear, what were you thinking! Only one of them appears to have even some sort of semblance of courtly manners. He is… Alright, I suppose.” She nods towards Briareth, “But the other two are just awful! Practically ruffians! The first one bows like a commoner, and the second one he didn’t even try! He’s so… tall too” Her face twists in disgust, and then her eyes flare with alarm “He is a dwarf isn’t he?! He isn’t one of those horrid elves that escaped that your father told me about! He said that Yaluda was harboring those elves, but I didn’t believe him…” She trails off, staring at Faladel.

“Ma.” Istere sighs, obviously more than a little fed up now. “Yaluda didn’t break the elves out, I did. I found out that you were captured–”

The Queen interrupts her again. “You did what?! Istere, you have to put them back right now! Those elves are dangerous criminals! They could hurt you, ruin your good name!”

“Ma, you’re not listening!” Istere shouts. “They are my friends! They’re not dangerous, they’ve been helping me!”

“They’re using you!” The Queen shouts back. “Just like your step-brother used you and nearly got you killed! Where is that scum?! I want him here right now to answer my questions!”

“Well then you’ve got him!” Istere shouts back. “For the past two years, I’ve been Yaluda, because Yaluda was the one who died!” She hesitates, realizing what she just said. More gently she continues. “Ma, everything you thought was Yaluda for the past couple of years, it’s been me. I took his place, it was the safest decision.”

The Queen flops back onto the couch, staring at the ceiling, a look of shock frozen on her face.

“You…” She eventually says, “You’ve been Yaluda.” It isn’t a question. But Istere confirms it.

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“Yes ma.” She starts tearing up. “Yaluda died that day. Father’s guards killed him, they tried to kill me, but I got away. He’s been dead ever since, and ever since I’ve been him.”

“So that one week after…”

“I was learning how to be Yaluda with Blix’s help. He found me, he protected me, and now we protect each other and work to make this castle– this kingdom a better place. We work to fulfill our dreams.”

“No.” The Queen shakes her head. “You work to fulfill your step-brother’s dreams. You work to fulfill his dreams!” She points at Blix, her finger shaking. “My daughter never would have maligned a priest, much less the High Priest– my little Istere wouldn’t even have thought of breaking out convicted criminals from jail to help in some hairbrained scheme, to– to what?! I don’t even know what you’re trying to do here! It’s all well and fair to say you’re trying to make the world a better place, but what are you actually doing?!”

“I–” Istere’s eyes widen, and I instantly get why. She can’t tell her mother that she’s trying to kill her father. That would only make things way worse. “I’m going to create peace between the elves and the dwarves.” She says instead.

“But why?!” Her mother asks incredulously. “This war is destined. We’re winning! Your father was just talking of sending more troops so that those stupid elves can finally be wiped out and we don’t have to sacrifice any more of our children!”

“Do you even hear yourself, ma?” Istere asks. “Those new troops that father was talking about– they’re literal children! We are talking thirteen year-olds being sent to the front lines! Meanwhile, we have a way to stop all this slaughter right here!” She gestures at Faladel and Briareth.

“And what are you going to do with them? Sign a peace treaty?! Istere, you’re a princess, not a prince! Just because you’re dressed as Yaluda, doesn’t make you the heir! You have no power, and thank goodness you don’t, or you’d make everything so much worse! You could end up causing a civil war like this if you were a boy! Just,” The Queen sits up again and grabs Istere’s hand. “Admit that you were wrong about all this nonsense and come back. I can make your father see, make him realize you aren’t a threat. We can cover all of this nonsense up. Things can return to how they were.”

A tear slides down Istere’s cheek. “You’ve always been like this, ma. I don’t want to go back to the ignorant child I was before all this! My brother made me see things for what they were, you and father always tried to keep me in ignorance. And then Father went and killed Yaluda for doing the right thing, simply because it made him scared that his son was growing a spine, and now you blame Yaluda? You’re in denial. Denial about Yaluda! Denial about my father! Denial about me! Even denial about your beloved church! We have evidence! Evidence that they’re corrupt and have been misusing church funds for years, running a drug ring, avoiding taxes, and embezzling donations. But even if I showed it all to you, you’d never believe me! You’d never understand that things can be different from the way you see them! That you can be wrong!”

“I can be wrong!” The Queen argues. “But I’m not wrong about this! This isn’t who you are!”

“You don’t know who I am! You haven’t known for years! And that’s the problem!” Istere shouts back, and then she calms down. Quickly. Just a deep breath, and then all that anger and rage are contained. Constrained behind an iron mask of pure will. “I’ve changed mom.” She says firmly– no longer arguing, but just setting a boundary. “I’m not an eighteen year old who’s desperate to mold herself to your desires anymore. I haven’t been for years, and you haven’t been seeing that. I’ve grown into my own person with my own desires, not my brother’s, not your’s, not anyone else's. I’ve learned that I can be a woman, and I can want power, and I can change the world, and that those aren’t exclusive. What will it take you to see that? To see me?”

The Queen blinks at her. “What are you talking about Istere? Who’s forcing you to say these hurtful things?! I’m your mother, of course I know you. You’ve been brainwashed, deluded by your brother’s friends and these– these elves. But we can fix you. We can return things to normal. I’ll talk to the High Priest, maybe he has some herbs that will make you feel better–”

“No! No herbs!” Blix cuts in suddenly, breaking the invisible wall between us and the Queen and Istere. “There was no brainwashing, no need for fixing. This is the path Istere herself has chosen, and if you can’t accept that, then I believe it is time for you to leave.”

“You have no right–!” The Queen begins.

“You overstep your boundaries, Blix.” Istere snaps, interrupting her mother. “I would appreciate it if you stayed out of this discussion.”

“I’m sorry Your Highness, but as both your friend and your designated protector, I cannot stand by and watch this in silence any longer. The Queen may be related to you by blood, but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate this.”

“I know, Blix.” Istere says. “And I thank you for your input. And,” She turns to face her mother. “He does have a point. We are getting nowhere with this discussion, ma. I think it’s time that we both take a break. Do you agree?”

“Yes,” The Queen admits, swinging her legs onto the floor. “We both got a little heated back there, I think it best if we take a break for now. But please, do think about what I said. These– these new friends of yours,” her face twists as she says the words “they aren’t good for you. They’re using you. Once you come to your senses, I’ll be waiting. Your mother is always here for you dear.”

“Of course.” Istere says stonily, “And,” She grabs a paper off a nearby table. “Remember to take what I said into consideration as well.” Her face thaws a little, “When we told the church that we knew what they were up to with all the drugs and tax avoidance, they immediately went and threatened your life. So don’t go back to them, just lie low for a little while. Please.” She passes the paper to the Queen and then says. “This is proof of their treachery. A letter the High Priest himself sent us.” The Queen slowly takes the paper, her lips pursed. “And if you ever loved me at all, if any of my childhood really mattered, don’t tell father about this. About my identity, about the elves. Somewhere deep down, you know he’ll have me killed.” Istere finishes.

The Queen sighs and says “I’ll do what I can to keep you safe, my daughter.”

Istere turns back to Blix. “Can you escort her out, Blix? Blindfolded of course, we may need to move soon, but that doesn’t mean we can let even more people know about our location.”

Blix bows, going to help the Queen to her feet, but she pushes him away and stands– only a little unsteadily– on her own two feet. She submits to the blindfold without comment, but she doesn’t look happy. And the whole room waits in silence until the door clicks softly closed behind them.

“That could have gone a lot worse?” Briareth offers, first to break the silence.

“It could have gone a lot better as well. I forgot how set in her ways she is.” Istere groans, sitting on the couch her mother just vacated. “First with Faladel’s protests to killing, then with Ludgera and that Yamat kid, and now this rescue! Why is nothing going right?!”