When I first wake up, I’m disoriented. I’m not outside, I’m in a cave-like structure. Faladel and Briareth are nowhere in sight, and for a second I can’t even remember how I got here. Then it all comes back.

We need a plan. Not my strongpoint, but I did try to think of a couple, along with any other information that could help us out. Rolling out of bed, my feet land on the cold stone floor and I wince, scrambling to find my shoes. After finally getting dressed and finding my way back to the main library– I only got lost twice! –I join the others for breakfast. Faladel is there already, but Briareth hasn’t come down yet. The Librarian offers us more sandwiches for breakfast, and I accept happily. They’re pretty good, considering that the person who prepared them is probably insane. After Briareth gets down and eats, we combine our thoughts, and end up with four workable plans that Faladel writes down on a large handy chalkboard the Librarian gave us.

* Convince the Royal family (king, prince or both) to give up on the war. They have the final say on everything since they control the army. The nobles might be unhappy, but it works.

* Convince the Prince and church, pressure the king and nobles into agreeing. With the normal people on our side and the heir to the throne, we can threaten an uprising if they don’t agree.

* Leak the information on the Scourger with the prince’s support, let the king and big nobles take the fallout, and while everyone’s upset, say the killing could end permanently. Go against the church doctrine directly when everyone is divided.

* Same as above, but work with the church beforehand, and convince them to be on our side, so we only have to take on the king/nobles.

I try to explain to Faladel and Briareth that there is no way the church will work with them to end the war since it literally preaches there is no way elves and dwarves can live together peacefully. I don’t seem to get my point across though.

“According to the Librarian, they seem to be much more a political group than a religion. If they’re out for their own benefit, I’m sure we can work something out.” Is Briareth’s take on it.

Faladel takes Briareth’s side, but mentions that I might have a point. “They’d have to do a bunch of finangling to make their sudden doctrine change seem legit to their masses of supporters.”

“Yeah, but that’s their problem, not ours.” Briareth concludes. Faladel adds an extra note to the fourth plan (Details pending) And then says, “So, which plan do you guys think will work the best?”

“All of them seem impossible.” I admit.

“Two and Four still need help.” Briareth says, “How exactly would we get the church on our side? Blackmail? Bribes? They already have significant political power, and without the war they lose almost all of it. There’s no concrete way to win them over.”

“My favorite is still the first one.” Faladel says, studying the chalkboard. “Somebody once told me that simple plans are the best,” Briareth makes a strange sound, and for a second I think he’s choking on his sandwich, but he’s actually just chuckling. Glancing at Faladel’s purposefully straight face as he continues talking, I realize who it was that probably told him that.

“Plan three just has too many areas where things can backfire.” Faladel continues, “What if we can’t leak the information properly? What if the dwarven population is so blinded by church doctrine that they’re willing to sacrifice a couple hundred soldiers to wipe out the elves? What if the army sides with the king and nobles instead of the prince? We could easily accidentally start a civil war if something goes wrong.”

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“If plan three is out, plan four is also out.” Briareth says after he recovers from his chuckling fit. “All those details that could go wrong, plus the lack of knowledge on what to do about the church, just makes it feel like the most unrealistic of the lot.”

“I agree.” I say, studying the board carefully. “I don’t like plan two either because that relies too heavily on the church supporting us. I think we should try to go with one first, and then improvise if things start to get off track. There’s no way any of these are going to work out perfectly. So maybe, if the king and prince don’t want to support us, we threaten to release the information about the Scourger ourselves. Honestly though, at that point they’re more likely to kill us outright.”

“Don’t be so morose, Balderk!” Briareth chimes in. “They wouldn’t dare kill a diplomatic retinue, right?” He glances at me, and then at Faladel. “Right?”

“I have a feeling they wouldn’t care that we’re diplomats, Briareth, not from the way Balderk expected to be treated when he arrived in our court.” Faladel replies.

“They’d totally kill us.” I confirm. “We’re at war. You guys make valuable diplomatic hostages, but even better trophies. We have to come up with a pretty good reason they can’t kill us outright.”

After thinking hard for five minutes straight, I’ve got nothing. Faladel tried to toss out a couple of ideas, but none of them were any good. Briareth though, looks like he might have something. When I ask him what it is he hesitates. “Well… it’s kinda unconventional, and morally gray, and would need some really good acting to pull off.” He glances at Faladel nervously.

“From the looks you’re giving me, I’m probably not going to like it.” Faladel sighs, but then gives in. “Tell us.”

“We bluff. The way Balderk describes his actions points to him being arrogant and self-centered. He'll probably only talk to us if we appear just as powerful as he is, if not more so. We say that we have a similar weapon of mass destruction available that is tied to us magically and will go off if any of us die. Since the dwarves don’t seem to know much about elven magic, they’ll probably fall for it. Instead of a poison gas, we can say it’s a magical strain of plague or something. We’ve never used it before because we don’t want to wipe out all dwarves from existence, or maybe it would cause quite a bit of harm to us as well. But if we’re threatened, we’ll use it. That sort of thing.”

“Threaten them with a similar weapon…” I muse. It’s clever, I have to admit. “That could work, but what if they try to call our bluff?”

“Well then, we’re dead.” Briareth says simply. “And so are the rest of the elves. And a couple hundred dwarf soldiers.”

“No pressure or anything.” Faladel adds on sarcastically. “You’re right, Briareth, I don’t like it. Especially since I’ll be the one trying to pull it off. But I don’t see any better option either.”

“Wait, why can’t we just have Briareth pull it off? Am I missing something?” I ask.

“It’s because Faladel is the highest ranking member of this expedition. He’s going to be expected to do most of the talking.” Briareth hesitates and adds on, “Well, we could disguise his identity I suppose…”

“Briareth, I was imprisoned for 22 years there.” Faladel cuts in, “If we try to disguise me, and my cover happens to go up in flames because a random guard recognises me, the whole peacemaking operation could be blown. I can’t let that happen. I’ll do the lying, it’s the best way to ensure we don’t die right off the bat.” He sighs. “Be honest you two, what do you think our likelihood of succeeding at this is?”

“At making peace in general, or everything going according to the plan and making peace that way?” Briareth responds immediately.

“Making peace and surviving,” Faladel confirms, “even if we go terribly off-plan. I’d put us down at somewhere below twenty, but above ten.”

“Forty-three point nine three percent.” Briareth says grinning. “What?” He asks, staring at our shocked faces.

“First, that’s nothing to be happy about. We’re still more likely to die than not to die.” I reply. “Secondly, why is that number so high? And so specific?”

“Ehh.” Briareth shrugs, and continues grinning. “What can I say, I have great confidence in our improvisation abilities. I also like choosing deeply specific numbers for no reason. It makes me seem smarter.”

“If you say so.” I turn away, going to ask the Librarian for more of those sandwiches.

“What about you, Balderk?” Briareth calls after me.

“Two… no make that three. Three percent!” I call back.

We’re insane to try this. But at least we’re insane together.