Probably didn’t expect me to come back, but here I am. What, you think I’m gonna let the curtains close at the lowest point? As the saying goes, the show must go on! Until the fat lady sings. Something along those lines.

I’m going to die before I give this up, alright? Stuff like valentine’s day has happened before, I just wasn’t strong enough to stop it. Guess I wasn’t strong enough to stop it this time, but I swear I’m going to keep leaping into sticky situations till I get stuck or the bad guys run out of adhesive.

For the past month I’ve been up to pretty normal stuff. Beating up drug dealers, getting shot at by drug dealers, fighting fish, you get the picture. Nothing that’s warranted a write-up, but I feel like I should give you a little ‘where are they now’. Thinking about it, I guess the best way to go about this is chronological order. BUT. I am a weirdo. So, I’m going through these in alphabetical order.

Let’s see, first up we’ll do Adonis.

Yeah, the guy who’s dating the girl in my art class, I’m telling a little story about him rather than the secret agent guy or the hit woman.

This was over the weekend, as per usual I was in the lovely town of dingle. This week the towns mascot, fungi, (or possibly Fungal? Not sure anymore.) Was finally on show. This is a big deal, because nobody has seen this dolphin in years, I’ve never seen it, the town was really busy, maybe like 10 more cars than usual.

Before you get your hopes up, no I did not see the fish. The crummy docks were closed for weather, a fact that pushes me to conspiracies. Let’s think about this logically. The owner of the official dingle mascot facebook page has every reason to lie about the appearance of dingle’s dolphin, due to the increase in tourism it brings. It is also incredibly unlikely that the dock would be closed because of weather. This is Ireland.

So, put yourself in the scene. It’s the weekend, you’ve got some time of work, and the day-cares are closed on the weekend, leaving you with your snot nosed kids. No way you’re staying at home with them, your house is a mess because they keep shitting on the floor, and your spouse won’t get off their ass to clean it up. You decide the best thing to do is to get the fuck out. Outside. Somewhere you haven’t been in a while, somewhere with a beach. You here that dolphin finally showed up in dingle again, so what the hell, lets drive 2 miles to see this dolphin.

You finally get there, and not only is it raining, there’s no dolphin. Shit. One of them’s started crying because his feet hurt. Brat hasn’t gone over 10 metres. You can’t just sit in the car with this noise till you get home, that is completely counterproductive to the objective of this drive. You go to a café, get the them both a pepsi between them, they shut up as soon as you order it. (They stop crying, but they keep screaming, obviously.) You stick around longer than you have to, just in case the dolphin shows up again.

That’s what I imagine the lady in the corner of this café was thinking. I myself was suited at the time, I just finished fighting Feoli for the day, and was looking for a cheap meal. And this place has a real cheap ‘bean meal’ on the menu so that’s what I went for. After I was half way through my meal, Kerry’s best couple come in. The girl I had a crush on and her boyfriend. I thanked god that I was Shamrock, the most they’d ask from me is another photo.

That’s at least what I thought at the time.

They came in ordered their meal, and sat down opposite from the mother. I don’t know whether the fact they were having fun annoyed me, made me go ‘aww’. Despite me thinking their relationship is pretty good, there’s always going to be a part of me that says, ‘if I grew a pair, I could have had what they have’, but I know that’s not true.

While I was thinking about that, and letting my beans digest a little before flinging myself through the rain, the un thinkable happened. They started arguing. I wasn’t really listening, but it seemed like Adonis was getting really annoyed at something TGIMAC said. She kept laughing, thinking he was doing a bit, but he made it clear to her he was being serious. I couldn’t see what face she was making at the time, her back was turned to me, but she might have been freaked out, because she eventually left for the bathroom.

Adonis put a hand over his face and wiped it down, looking worse than when he came through the door soaked with rain.

“Hey kid,” I had squeaked over to, “you don’t look so hot.” For a second, I thought, ‘that’s not true, even when mentally drained this guy still makes me look like a goblin’, but decided against saying that out loud.

“God it’s you. Shamrock, right?” He looked glad to see me, which is weird, because most people don’t remember me after the first time we meet. “One and only.” I confirmed.

“You- Your real, aren’t you?” At this point I was really worried for this guy, so I sat down. “Last I checked, yeah. You’re looking under the weather, what’s your poison?” I don’t think I used that expression right but he didn’t seem to notice.

He hunched over the table to meet me eye to eye, “Just answer me this; those people weren’t killed by a satellite, right? Everybody- my girlfriend TGIMAC, she saw that thing with her own eyes, but nobody believes it was real! I- I didn’t believe you fought real monsters, after I thought about it, I realised everybody was right, it was just a movie shoot, or some kind of performance. But I watched that thing make craters that I can still see to this day. Leave graves in its wake. Just tell me I’m not crazy!”

He looked down at the table, he had both his hands resting on it, fists clenched.

“I sincerely wish you were. Crazy, that is. But your sane.”

I got up and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m not going to let this happen again. At least, I’ll die before I let you, your family, or your girlfriend come to harm.”

I thought to myself as I slid my glove from his shoulder, I made that promise the first time I put on this mask.

I began to leave just as a knot started to build up in my throat, but he told me to wait. I turned to see him fumbling with his wallet, he pulled out two twenty euro notes and held them out to me. I just looked at him, my jaw hanging a little. At first, I thought that he was just going to pay the bill.

“If you’re going to do that, you’re going to need to eat more than a bowl of baked beans.” This was far too much money to give away, but I figured he wasn’t gonna take no for an answer. “Thank you.” I took it with both my hands and put it into a pocket on my belt.

Before I left, I told him, “I’ll try and explain things a little if I see you around, but for now, just- just try not to freak out your friends, ok? You can’t convince them. So just… blend i with them, don’t let it get to you.”

I don’t know if that helped him any, but that’s the best I can do for him, tell him I’m looking out for him.

Next up is Axel.

Most notable thing that happened in the last month between me and him was his departure, now by private means. Me and Axel left the hotel pretty early in the morning, too early in fact, we were waiting on Bob to fly in on his helicopter thing for like ten minutes. I carried him, his luggage, and robots down to the field Bob said he was going to land in. One of his canines, the southern belle one, got a little broke on valentine’s day, though it was better off than Cam, who was reduced to a head, and one of those anti-gravity disc things, Axel said the other major one probably floated into space without Cam’s controlling it.

After I carted all of that down to the agreed spot. Me and Axel got to talking.

“Duuude, I am so glad that you hooked me up. I don’t know if it was just my sex suit or if it was her, but that was, like, best of my life. Top three at least.”

I knew he was just saying this to fuck with me so I just ignored him.

“Alright, I’ve got to ask though-” I turned to him thinking he was going to say something important, “How was Ae?” I cringed up at that, “Nothing happened. Not even close. Didn’t go looking.” I was probably green and red now.

He whistled, “Damn, really? Yeah, you don’t seem like the kinda guy who can do casual sex. Don’t worry dude, you’ve got a ton of other stuff going for you.”

“Uh?” I tried to think of what he could possibly mean by that, but nothing came to mind, “The fuck are you talking about?”

“You know. You’ve got great connections. Me for starters. You seem to be pretty good friends with not just the only dealer on this piece of turf, but also the most important person in Mt Bastard. Well, if you forget ’bout they’re namesake. Hmm now that i think about it, i probably have a better relationship with her than you now. I mean, she’s never gonna forget about that night, that’s for sure.”

Before he could lose himself in that Shit eating grin, I had two questions to ask.

I piped up awkwardly, “Is she really that important? I thought there were around a hundred people under this Bastard guy?” I theorized for a few seconds, before turning to him startled, “Now that you’ve brought that up, Isaac and you both called her princess, is that literal?”

He spat out an imaginary glass of water at that. “You really don’t know anything do you? She’s not his daughter, but if she was she wouldn’t be a princess. Bastard remember? She was raised by him as far as i know.” He was about to say something else, but didn’t. I didn’t want to push any further into something that might get me into trouble.

I was beat by half a person, i doubt i could take 100.

“What makes you think me and her are friends? This vacation of yours sorta put us on a truce. After you leave, we’re just gonna go back to fighting, I’ll try to mess up her operation, she’ll keep her guys on my back. Only reason i’m around today is because I’m tough. If she could kill me, she would.” I looked down at my feet. My shoes were still covered in dust from that day. I’d forgotten to wash them.

Axel let out a droning hum.

“I wouldn’t be sure on that.”

I looked back to him again, “Uh?”

“If you’re such great enemies, then why’d she practically beg me to code you back together? You were more than dead; you were unrecognisable as ‘Shamrock’ to anybody other then me. There’d be no evidence whatsoever. But she asked me to try. I’m certain she worked a little bit of her magic, or whatever it is, as well.”

Something about what he said made me go wide eyed.

“If she really, and I mean, even if she thought you were annoying, don’t you think she might call some stronger Units in to take you out? Like you said, there’s nearly a hundred of ’em now. Hey, you think that agent’ll let me smoke in his carrier? I’ll light one up now, fug it.”

I was feeling something in my stomach at this point, and this time it wasn’t sick. Finally. After my first fight with Feoli, I finally felt just a little like a hero again. Although there’s no way for me to know for sure, I feel like I might have made a difference in Clover’s life, that maybe if she could come to care about her enemy, then maybe she could come to care for the people she’s affecting with her business.

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I guess Axel got “Don’t go thinking she’s into you or anything. She’s not. She’d have just asked you to have sex with her in that case. This isn’t like a movie or an anime, people are more complex than labels like friend or enemy, good or bad, you can’t get far being one or the other. She probably has something to gain from keeping you alive.”

He was probably right, but it’s the fact that there’s a chance I can help. That’s why I’m able to fight Feoli every weekend.

“Shit! I almost forgot!” Axel nearly dropped his blunt as he turned to me, “You gonna explain what was up with that whole Jesus act you pulled? You poofing into existance wasn’t with coding skill or luck. You never did break down your other skill for me.”

“Uuuh…” Now would be a very good time to think of a subject changer, brain.

“Wait, you watch anime?” I slapped my face internally. There was no way that could get him off my back.

“Well, you watch anime, too, right? Like come on you’re a nerd in the 21st century.” I tried to keep him on this, “No? I’m a nerd, but just for super heroes. I don’t know if it’s normal for a grown man to watch Japanese cartoons in Boston, but here in Ireland, we typically stop watching cartoons at seven.”

He laughed out loud, sort of crazy like, “Oh wow, you expect a seven-year-old to understand the complexities of evangelion? You know who watches anime? Robbin Williams, Kanye, uh, there’s plenty more but i can’t think of any. You can’t stand here and tell me anime isn’t main stream, even in this fly over state, when it’s practically netflix’s flagship genre. What else are you gonna watch, ‘Tall girl 3’? ‘Kissing booth 4’? Don’t give me that shit.”

For once his smile faded slightly, I raised my arms defensively, and apologized. Once Bob came to pick them up, I was left alone to think about how hurt a billionaire can get if you don’t watch the same shows he does.

I’d do one for Bob, but I haven’t seen him. I think it says a ton that when a space craft kills thirty people, they only send one guy to check it out. I don’t know what it says exactly, but it’s not good. I can tell you that either these guys don’t care much about their clients, or they have bigger fish to fry at the moment, and quite frankly that doesn’t give me much hope for this world.

I would say something for Clover, but I only talked to her once and it’s not really a conversation I want to repeat. I might as well give you the gist. For reference, this was nearly a week after valentines, and I just wanted to call in on Clover and maybe ask if she wanted to hang out. That little speech Axel gave me got me thinking I should try to become better friends with Clover, that I should try and persuade her rather than punch her business to death.

So, with hope for some sort of redemption in her future, I phone her.

Before I could say anything, she started talking, but not to me. She must not have looked at the number, she probably planned on calling Ae when she got back to Korea, something like that, because there is no way someone can go into that much detail about something so dirty, so depraved, right off the bat, unless they had made plans to talk about this stuff with somebody else.

I’m not trying to shame either Clover or Axel for the things they did that night, but don’t want to know about it, let alone have it described to me. I have no clue how long I was on the other end for, maybe a hot, disgusting minute, of stunned agony, before she mentions some real nasty stuff and I decided to hang up.

The next time I saw her, she didn’t say anything about that, we just hung out like normal people. That got me thinking though, if we were really good friends, would she talk about that sort of stuff, and that’s the point I need to get to convince her to stop, right? Like if we were friends, talking about that wouldn’t be uncomfortable anymore.

I guess right now what I’ve been thinking about which comes first; I get her to give up dealing and then I can call her my friend, or do I become her friend so that I can convince her to give it up? I know I’m an idiot, so there’s a chance I could fall for the evil super hero trope. Hell’s paveing, right?

The most disturbing thing about this whole situation is that she can still laugh and joke, meer moments after being tangentaly involved in that tragidy. I can almost understand Axel’s detachment from all this, this isn’t his home, but Clover’s lived her for a month. A part of me wants to be angry at them, but then i think to myself: They’ve lived like this for years. I’m on my third month, scary to think i could end up just like them, jaded.

I’ve been meaning to talk to Feoli about what happened with Isaac, but every time we’ve fought, she just leaves immediately after making her monster. A part of me is worried that she killed him, but I remind myself, when I broke Isaac’s arm, (an action I am feeling guilty about), I’m pretty sure the armour didn’t actually break open, it just dented a bit. Well, a lot, actually, but what I’m saying is that she probably couldn’t break through it at least. Not to mention the fact he is backed by a freaking Old Testament, spinning rings of eyes god. Pretty sure things play out well for the faithful, and if not, then shit, I just helped kill a king.

I joke, but that might be partially due to me not actually having much of a concept of how the world really works. I’m the guy who can pull bodies out of the ground and keep running around in a corny green suit. Suffice to say, my naivety seems like it’ll catch up to me some day. And I don’t think I’ll be able to keep going after that.

Guess i’m indecisive, I don’t want to become pessimistic, but i don’t want to be optimistic either.

Mullet got a job at a gas station.

Righ,t let’s get to the first thing I did after a fucking mech destroyed the streets I grew up in, and killed the woman I bought my groceries from every week. I walked around town looking for my shoes.

The damage, compared to something like a natural disaster, was pretty minimal, mostly due to the fact this was a manmade disaster, done with purpose, with direction, and entirely localised on a single street. The first place they started to repair? Guess what highschooler has the money to rebuild her business.

I went to quite a few places looking for my shoes. In the wake of a crisis it’s not weird to see a kid walk around without any shoes, hell, who’s really looking? I checked the remains of the quarter, along some of the streets I fought her on as Shamrock, populated areas.

If you didn’t read the last post, well everything before this is really confusing, but the gist of this bit is, I gave Tayanita, Clover’s bodyguard/maybe servant, my normal clothes, because she didn’t really have anything decent at the time. Clover had her wearing a bunny girl outfit at her party, as some kind of punishment. For once, me and my classmates that were at this party are on the same wave, we both have no clue why she got people to cater her party, let alone people dressed as rabbits. I know I’m one to talk, but it sorta seemed like she hadn’t been to many parties with people her age.

I couldn’t really care less about my t-shirt, got that as a three-in-one for 4 euro deal, but those are the only shoes I have other than the ones I have for my suit. And I don’t know if you know this, but shoes are really expensive, like 30+ Euro. But I can’t really expect any someone to back me up in a fight when they’re wearing heels, and seeing as I was changing out Sam for Shamrock at that point, I thought I might as well hand over my stuff right then and there, to someone who needed it.

One flaw in that is, I can’t exactly ask Clover as Sam where her henchwoman lives, so I wandered through town for an hour or two, on the off chance I saw this girl. I don’t actually know anything about Tayanita, except for the fact she seems to be good with a gun, put pretty poor in hand to hand, and that she’s from America. I don’t think I ever mentioned her accent, did I? Didn’t really think about that earlier, she was either just a bartender at the time, or was shooting me, so not really relevant enough on either occasion.

I eventually got the idea to check at Clover’s place, but before I got there, I bumped into her. I tried and seem like I was hung over from last night, feign disinterest. Though I guess I did have a migraine lingering in my head, given the self-discombobulations. I walked straight past her, but that was enough for her to take note of me.

“Hey, kid.” I turned, half faking dizziness, “Yeah?”

I waited a few seconds before I pretended to put it together. “You. Shit, uh, you got my shoes, right?”

She lowered an eyebrow, “Not on me if that’s what you mean. They’re back at my place.” I furrowed my brow. “Right, yeah, just give them to Clover, I’ll pick ’em up from her on Monday.”

Before, she looked like she was in a sour mood, grouchy. After I said that, her demeanour changed, she seemed calm and collected, with a slight smile she said, “My place isn’t far from here, not even five minutes, I don’t have anything going on right now, this is a better time than any other.”

Something was definitely off.

“No, it’s really best I get them Monday. I’ve gotta… run a few errands. Busy times, especially after that… satellite crashed.”

I hated saying that, dispite the advice i would give to Adonis. The story being reported, being shared online, and worst of all, believed, was that an old cellular satellite fell out of orbit and landed right in the middle of town, any remains of the structure were blown to dust upon impact, and that giant figure was just a combination of the fire and smoke from the crash, and mass hysteria. As I’ve said earlier, this was orchestrated by people. The fact that everybody is chalking it up to an act of God, to put it simply, disgusts me.

But just so regular people don’t think I’m crazy, I say it was an accident.

She kept that same look on her face, at the time I thought that maybe she was just more comfortable, what with the threat gone. “You’re going to wait a week, for what appears to be your only pair of shoes?”

I looked down and let out an awkward laugh. I really didn’t want to involve Sam anymore in this then he already was, giving shoes to a stranger, that’s ok. Hanging out with this girl any more than necessary? Nope, off limits young man, enough homocidal chicks for you.

But I did need my shoes.

“Well, I’m heading back there anyway, tag along if you feel like it.”

She turned and walked away from me. This might have been a slip up on her part, but she was walking back the way she came. That was a red flag. And I ignored it, because yeah, I need shoes.

We got back to her place, a modest home in comparison to Clover’s, though still dwarfing my own in size, and amenities, as far as I could tell from the hallway.

She went on ahead of me, she shouted from down the hall, “Come on, I left them in my back hall. Sorry, they got beat up last night.” I expected as much. We weren’t going to be able to do this in the hall. To simple. Too many windows. I walked down the hall after her, took a turn right to find her kitchen devoid of life, excluding the potted plants. It was pretty nice in there. Minimalist, regularly cleaned by the looks of it. I scanned the room looking for her, before entering fully. I was saying something, I don’t remember what, she responded with silence during a ten second period, while I searched the floor for my shoes.

Then I heard her whistle from my side. I honestly have no idea where she came out of. I think you know what she was pointing at me.

“You don’t look surprised. Guess I’ve already had you in this position before.” More often than she knew.

“I had my doubts. When you threw up? That actually got me. I did appreciate what little you did to spur me on, to take my mind of any suspicions. Not to mention when you got teary later last night. But it would be just too much of a coincidence, that you would be at that door, that you would come back to the party after everybody already left, and of course, our chance meeting today.”

I didn’t say anything. Her friendly expression had faded, she was being real with me. There was a fire in her eyes when she had her sights on a target, I know this because I’m typically her target.

“You know what really tipped me off, shit-head? She doesn’t call herself Clover at school, and seeing as the only people who knew her by that name were our people, Ae, the green guy, and Right, that narrows the options quite a bit, doesn’t it? Either you’re working for Right, the internationals-“

She looked me up and down, “-or you’re that green fucker.”

I kept the same expression I had when I came in, one of general disinterest, apathy. I looked tired, because I was. I was all of those things.

“I already told you I knew more than I let on, remember? I told you I knew about ‘Saoirse Rowan’s’… whatever shit it is you do in the quarter. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out from the fact that the girl living in a fucking mansion doing shady dealings, selling magic luck juice, is probably the ‘Clover’ mentioned on the label. I don’t care. I don’t care about any of this shit. Not much of a difference between this scifi shite and normal drugs. I’ve seen people lose there loved ones to both, I’m sure some dirty bastards profiting from it, only big difference i can think of is that one’ll get you no matter how fast you run from it. So yeah, give me my shoes. “

She looked madder. This was honestly the outcome I was hoping for. She first and foremost thought I was a spy, that was the idea she got in her head, that covered up the truth, that I was Shamrock. I didn’t want her to linger on that thought though, I didn’t think she was stupid, if she thought about it for long enough, looked at me from the right angle, with the right lighting, sayonara Sam.

She kept quiet, I met her gaze head on, I looked right at her, eyes half open, sunken, “I just want my shoes.”

I’m pretty sure I avoided telling any lies. I don’t think being honest makes what you’re saying any more believable, I just find it easier to keep cool when I’m being honest about my thoughts, how I feel.

“You seriously gonna make a mess in your own kitchen, just because one person in this shitty town isn’t stupid enough to think a fucking monster is a goddamn satellite?”

I think she was still being sincere. She slowly holstered her pistol, and grinned.

“Whether or not you’re a spy, I’m starting to like your tongue. You got a name? Or are you so hung over you don’t remember that?”

I said without even thinking,

“Fuck off already. Rori. With an I. You got a name, or was I wrong, and it actually is ‘bunny bitch'.”

She replied, appropriately enough to a lie.

“No, that’s not exactly how this works. You can call me Taylin. And if you bring that up again, you better believe I’ll dirty any room in this house with you.”

Another reason I don’t like lying, is that you usually get a lie in return, and there’s nothing worse than forming connections on deceit. They grow thin pretty quick.

Here’s to hoping I don’t have to be Rori any time soon