After a couple minutes, a voice echoed in my head, “maybe this is where I belong.”
The cell I was stored in was as small as my room at home, just without a window, or furnishings. I was left in pitch black, heightening my other sense- or maybe it just drove them crazy.
There was a smell like death in the back of the room, and the far off screaming that I had heard from the execution chamber still lingered in my ears.
It reverberated through me, ever sensation echoed in my mind and mingled with the memory of that place. I thought back on how I had screamed against him, an insane wall of insults meant to keep me from giving in to despair. To fight against that feeling of hopelessness he was aiming for.
I hadn’t a clue how long ago it had been, or what time it was. My best guess was after three in the morning. They said they’s attacked at twelve, and it was an hour's drive from Derry. On top of that, we were in that room for something like an hour.
It felt like I'd been in the darkness for hours, it was probably far less.
An hour of darkness, close to sensory deprivation. Or something else entirely. I was like this as a kid, after my dad died, maybe. Or maybe it was the work, or the fact I started fighting around that time.
It was a darkness like the one that blanketed my nightmares. It was a fear for the future. It was the anti-hope. I had tried so hard to fight, but it appears that Belfast is smarter than I thought.
With nothing else to do, no other input apart from the distant screams that your imagination would link to those of your allies, there was nothing a rational person could do but despair.
I’m irrational, and even I was feeling a creeping- dark veins turned to wilful arms now as I felt that other half of me calling out from a far-away place.
Its voice was cold, and it reaffirmed, “this is where we belong.”
I heard footsteps just outside the door, stopping there. I finally began wondering what their plans for me were. I understood that they had options with Clover, they could put her to work for them which would give them stronger connections to the Mountain, or they could ransom her, make the argument that she had this coming, because she did.
Fuck, you know what I mean, her friends didn’t deserve that- but she brought it on. Her faith in herself was too strong, she thought she could rely on luck. I guess it’s a fickle thing for those indirectly involved with it.
I let her pull me, I could blame her power, or I could blame my desperation. Maybe when I looked at her, with or without my mask on, I couldn’t differentiate the face of Saoirse from the face of Clover. I had a horrible feeling that I'd need to change very soon, or I'd be walking into an unplanned suicide mission again.
Whatever was happening at the door now, I would handle now.
A white slit opened in the door, and light peered in. It was soon overshadowed by a torso.
They were quiet, I spoke first, “Out with it. I’ve had an hour to get used to this posture, if you’re one of the fomorians, I’ll be doing to you what I did to Cre-umha. If you’re Gurl, I'll just hit you in the face. If you’re the boss-”
What was my plan for the boss...
The voice replied, “No, it’s me. Again.”
I turned myself to face the door, “Do they let you talk to the prisoners? It’s just, if I was going to hire someone to manipulate my enemies, I’d keep them on a short leash.”
Adonis was silent behind the door, before putting on an act. “Ouch, haha...”
He took a breath in and tried to make a start.
“They didn’t hire me to lie. I- I really do work on trading, basically, my job was- a sort of black stock market. Drugs, parts of people, people- supernatural parts as well, but I never directly dealt with any of it, there were less qualified people for that.”
I thought about shitting on him, but he was trying to go somewhere with this, I figured he might say something he wasn’t supposed to, something I could use. Either to fight, or to manipulate.
He continued talking to the door. “I started off fine. Normal- years ago I was just a kid with some money who watched a couple videos on YouTube, got really into economics- eventually I put what I learned to use- my parents made a few calls, got me a few interviews. I landed a trial period with a place in Belfast.”
He let out a short laugh again, “You might think that’s where it started, but you’d be wrong. I got screwed over, by the people I worked for. I was a kid, sixteen, there wasn’t anything normal about me getting a- a part time job working with crypto currency and analysing company stock trends- fuck, it doesn’t matter. Basically, I was making too little money, and they fucked me over, I ended up owing them some and- well I was too deep to back out.”
The way he was speaking... honestly, the little details yet slight vagueness of it all, it made me question if he was telling the truth, an opinion I hadn’t come close to holding back when I thought he was a straight shooter. It had the desperation of a quick lie; one you’d tell to get out of a bad situation.
Yet he had come to me. I wanted to know what all of this was for, some kind of persuasion tactic? Unbelievable. At least, it wasn’t a tactic that Belfast would use. The others seemed sneakier, smarter.
It begged the question, if Belfast isn’t the brains, then why is he the boss? Has he taken the role of a figure head? Is it because his power is just that much greater than theirs? Experience?
I did need more info. If Adonis’ wasn’t accurate, then I might at least get a read on his feelings.
“So what, you start selling people? How do you even end up ‘accidentally’ joining these guys?”
He took a moment.
“You can find them anywhere. Or at least, people they’ve paid off. Don’t think it’s dumb luck that I just so happened to live in the same area as you, Clover, Feoli, and- you know. Her. They are everywhere in the country. Denser in the north. Even if I hadn’t leaked them information, positioned the others in the hotel- they'd have come for them to get to Saoirse- sorry, Clover.”
I knew I should have avoided the subject, but I needed to know, “One of the people you came here with, Emmett. Apparently, he’s dead. You let him leave the hotel, risked the operation. Why?”
He seemed to think it was a random question, “It was a part of Gurl’s plan- she wanted us to wait until after midnight, before going ahead with anything. She’s the one that came up with that method of bypassing Clover’s... luck, or whatever it is. Belfast provided her with the file- the one the men in black had on her. It had something about ‘the monkey paw principle’ in it. The initial plan was to... to capture them tomorrow. She moved it forward to exactly midnight, arguing that a wish might’ve been made to stall us. I guess that’s why there wasn’t any of Clover’s men? Were they a few hours too late? Don’t answer, it doesn’t matter, point is, they know everything about you- everything. I mean, everything!”
I went along with him, agreeing, just to get him to calm down. Something was off. It was beyond a simple scattered lie. Though I had a suspicion, no definite thoughts came to mind. I was focused on the fact that Sea-threw Gurl had let me out, most likely because she thought I was going to get changed into my suit, not to meet up with a long-lost friend.
By that point she could hardly lie. If Adonis was right, and they did have eyes everywhere, then they’d have seen me take a leisurely stroll into that pub. Then they would have sent Sruthan after me. Then, there was a very good chance that the second worlder that had followed me, had seen my whole fight with her, and that they were completely aware that I, Emmett, had survived.
That would explain why Gurl told them ‘Emmett’ was dead, it was to try and fend off Sruthan, and it was to discredit whoever else had been watching. A Unit carries more weight than a second worlder, Adonis’ silence earlier had shown that they weren’t valued the same.
If there was a grunt going around, corroborating Sruthan’s story, then that would raise some red flags, put Gurl at risk of being labelled a traitor, or that she was double crossing.
Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t putting her neck out for me, she was putting it out for her game. Too her, saving my hide to keep playing wasn’t any different from robbing a bank for fun. It was the risk, the thrill, that’s the profile I'd built up.
But now I knew she was also in this with Adonis. It was another side to her, another hidden angle. One of many, possibly.
I couldn’t discount the idea that she had plans beyond and contradicting Belfast’s.
“Anyway-” Adonis sputtered, “they set a test in front of me, one developed by the men in black- to see if I was a second worlder, I passed and got told to stay on the lookout. And I did. Nothing. There weren’t any fish people, or robots, or you- after a while I forgot about that test and just did whatever work they gave me. Then, little over a year ago from now, I got a video. It was the boss’ power. It was him levelling a building. The other guys, the ones who smuggled and dealt directly with it, they celebrated. They were talking about Clover, and I didn’t know who that was at the time. The next day it says on the news that there was a gas leak. I dug deeper.”
“It was around then that we started getting support from the men in black, the suits, whatever you want to call them. They sent files. About the Mountain, about Clover, and about the Mountain’s Glass God. Some guys killed themselves. Very, very few defected, and ended up dead. You and me, we talked about those gods, remember? Ha, I wish... I wish I'd reacted like I did with you. It’ll sound really, really shitty, but that’s when I started to regret what I was doing.”
I couldn’t help but drop the agreeable act, “Because you started to realise that there might be consequences? You realised you were making enemies?”
“No, I- I realised I was wrong. I grew a conscience, I guess, hah.”
I didn’t have a reply for that. He had said that, and yet here he was two years later, standing at attention while people died in front of him.
“I don’t... I don’t deserve your pity. I’m sure you haven’t got a clue what I'm talking about, but... things were going good until then. My parents, my peers, I had their attention. I was some sort of genius to them, something special. Things were good, so I thought I was good. But if I was good, where was my God? I wasn’t special. I was nothing compared to the boss, the enemies- the money didn’t mean anything. It carried no weight.”
“Eventually we got word that some of Clover’s people had become active again, and it just so happened that they were going to my town. And all of a sudden, I realised that I no longer had a choice. There was no backing out. Me and a couple other guys kept watch over the area, we noticed a large order of guns, that sort of thing. Nothing big.”
He pushed against the door, “It was the anticipation, or maybe it was the fact that I was beginning to think I'd gone crazy. Either way, there was a point where I just couldn’t do it anymore. I tried to end it. I didn’t have the guts.”
He started sobbing I don’t think he was talking about ending his career.
“I had to keep going, or they were going to kill them! You- heh, you’ve got a secret identity, right? You have people you’re trying to protect too, right?”
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His speech wasn’t filled with scattered excuses any more. It was just a desperate plead.
“Yeah,” I lied.
“You know,” he sniffled, “I was telling that guy about this the other day, Emmett, I mean. I told him that you’d helped my relationship with- with my girlfriend. Truth is, you started it.”
I looked up at the sliver of light, wondering if he’d finally caught on.
“It was a week before we first met. I- I was hanging around inch beach, because one of our guys had overheard that there was some kind of ‘show’ there. He didn’t see it, but the fact that a hyper realistic puffer fish monster had apparently beached itself on the shore of a remote beach- it's something they want checked out. So I did, just from the car park. I’d asked around, but couldn’t find any information. Somebody tells me they only appear only on weekends. It was a Thursday.”
“I went back to my car, and... well, one thing led to another, and I reversed my car into her easel. I was nervous, and she was in a weird spot, and seriously, who sets an easel up in a car park? I told her as much, and she told me that it didn’t matter, I was still paying for it. I just got a pay check, in cash, so I ask her how much. I didn’t have the change for a tenner.”
“I uh, might have blinded her a little. I had something like five hundred in my wallet. I told her that I'd give her twenty for the easel, and the painting. I left with a smile on my face. She wasn’t. I looked at it in my car- and you know, that’s the type of thing I liked her for, not this ‘Sea-threw Gurl’ crap- ah, no offense but, she isn’t the same, you know? It’s like she’s someone else.”
I stayed quiet. It was at least better than the silence. I couldn’t bare that.
“Then I saw her at school, like I never saw her before. So I talked to her. And I thought, this is definitely good. There was nothing evil about this, my life was good, finally and definitely. Then she asked if I'd give her a lift to the beach.”
I said, “And that’s where you started to realise that you were just bringing another person into it.”
His back pressed against the light, “Yeah. I just got a feeling from that place. My legs were all shaky, the sky was dark- I knew that there was something wrong about it. The beach I mean- always felt like I was going to sink into the sand. So that second time that I went there- I forgot she was even there with me. It was my first time seeing something like Feoli’s monsters in person. And I just- looking at the masses crowded around that thing like it was some sort of show, it drove me crazy.”
“I freaked out, asked my girl how she could just laugh. Then she pointed. And she reassured me, ‘that’s just how the show goes, right? The monster stomps around, and then the hero saves the day’. And I looked closer, and you- you were there. You were fighting it. Suddenly, I had to get closer. I don’t expect you to remember now, but I got a picture with you. It wasn’t for work. I actually held off on telling them.”
He turned around again and spoke through the slit.
“Whatever side you're on, is the right side. So-”
I let out a sigh, smiling to myself and lowering my head, “I can’t believe you ever sold anybody anything. Crypto or drugs. That was the worst pitch I've ever heard.”
He swallowed, his breath ragged, “Do you know how countries are made? I don’t mean the politics and history- the british empire was founded by the Mountain, and after the collapse of the empire, the Mountain still stands. The Spainish empire, Egyptian pharaohs, the Holy Roman Empire, they were all controlled by Units from the shadows. Ireland is on the verge of that. The creation of a new kingdom-”
I hung my head lower and asked, “Do you hear yourself?”
He just kept going, “The boss is right. With no reason to stay, Clover will pull out or she’ll go all in.”
I pushed my back straight, shouting up, “Or she’ll call the fucking Mountain in on your ass! Five Units can’t beat a hundred.”
He hissed back at me, “But seven would take too much effort. Isn't that why the Circuit Board were allowed to flatten our town with zero repercussions? Haven’t you ever asked- who makes the law? It isn’t the police, it isn’t the politicians, it’s the one who’s really in charge.”
His voice lost that pleading tone, I don’t know how else to describe it other than ‘pulling’.
“And there is still time for you to be the one.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” It wasn’t a serious question, he’d finally lost any comprehension, his shifting tone and focus all but confirmed my earlier suspicions. This fucker was on something.
I thought I would laughed, but I found that to be impossible. It was the realisation that they were controlling him with more than threats and money.
“The boss led these people into the supernatural, but it’s been a slow fucking crawl. He’s only got all this because he absorbed smaller groups with pure overwhelming power- and because he’s selling the subterrainium they have you cuffed in for an astronomically low price. Heh, I bet that’s why Bastard hasn’t done anything, he’s gotten greedy.”
I shook my head, “Bastard won’t sell Clover out.”
My eyes widened. What made me think that with such absolute certainty? I’d only ever seen the back of the man’s head.
Adonis just pushed the thought out of his way, “You don’t know anything about Bastard, he’s too smart, too old to not see what’s happening with Clover. She’s become a liability. There was the Battle at Babel, she handled that well enough, freed a prisoner of war, which is nothing compared to the fact that she nearly caused an international incident. Then there’s this: directly disobeying orders to not engage- with seemingly no plan whatsoever.”
He whispered, again trying to appeal to me, “I’m telling you, if that girl stays with him, she’ll get cut off the second it becomes advantageous to him.”
I humoured him, just to get him to talk a bit more, “What would you have me do, lick Belfast’s boots till he lets me out of these cuffs.”
Adonis laughed, “Well, that’s the only way you’re getting out of those cuffs. They’re indestructible. You’d need to rip them apart atom by atom to destroy them.”
A voice in the back of my head asked, ‘Who said anything about destruction?’
I hushed it for then, just until I was ready to listen.
I did listen to what Adonis said about ‘atom by atom’. If Belfast’s ability can strip something apart atom by atom, or put it together atom by atom, that corroborated of it being related to some kind of element manipulation, regardless of which state of matter it’s in. That begs the question, what about that is Schism potentially opposed to?
It wasn’t the fact that he was controlling an element, nor was it the fact he was mass producing a rare material- if either of those were the case, then my shackles would have fallen off.
Or at least, that’s what I'd assumed there was a chance that Schism had no intention of honouring that deal, seeing as he technically never agreed to it.
There was also the chance that he had no intention of honouring our deal. Period.
Was I seriously going to trust him simply because he gave me a costume?
A voice told me that there was nobody that I could trust but myself.
That I couldn’t rely on Clover because she was fallible, and that I clearly couldn’t trust anyone else.
That voice said I was primed and ready to use SP2.
“As it stands,” Adonis finished, “You only have two options, both of which are only viable under the pretence of you joining us: first, you could simply join us. You don’t need to do anything differently, you just fight who they tell you to fight, nobody who doesn’t have it coming to them, rival gangs, foreign Units- eventually you’ll grow in position- I know for a fact, that what you’re doing right now doesn’t pay. I’m a fucking millionaire, and I've been doing this for two years- my biggest win has been bringing in you, Feoli, and Gurl.”
“Second option?”
“Do I even have to say? Get out of those cuffs, and at the first chance you get, kill him. It’d damage the company, sure, we’ll lose a major asset-”
I eventually roared out laughing, “God, you really don’t know anything about me! I don’t kill people!”
He was speaking but all I could do was laugh. Eventually he banged on the door, “You can’t imagine what you could do with all of this, but I could! Infact, the only way you’re going to survive is if you bulk-up. You need numbers, you need money, you need facilities, guards, spies, that is the only way you can keep this country safe. I hate this- this place, but I don’t hate you. I believe in you.”
He stepped away from the door, “you convert everyone else to your church, or the walls start to fall down.”
I finished laughing. He left me, “you’ve got an hour to think. I know you’ll make the right choice.”
Before he did, he asked, “you... do realise you were screaming for his death a couple minutes ago, right?”
As he was trailing down the corridor, he said to himself, “...maybe you just need to be in the right moment...”
I ignored him.
I guess I hadn’t noticed, but everyone I've fought has always given the option to settle things peacefully, either by teaming up with them, or by simply ignoring the situation.
They’re all so open minded. I'm not. If that old man from Korea's to be believed, it’s because I don’t have a soul that I can’t change my mind. Once I've decided on something, I will not compromise. I will fight, and rage until there is nothing standing in the way of my peace. If I have to be alone to reach that point, then I will be alone.
In that case, I'll always be alone.
Always.
I didn’t have to keep hammering the point in, but it opened up my options. I had gotten rusty, and the more negatively I thought, the more potent SP2 became.
I’d reached a point where I could affect things just beyond my concept of ‘self’. That meant the cuffs. They were currently ‘closed’ around my ankles and wrists. All things seem to either exist, or they do not. Cold exists in the absence of heat, off when something isn’t on, and death in the absence of life.
Closed and open are trickier concepts, one I haven’t given much thought. It’s a man made, semi subjective state of existence, but if we’re following the logic that the lesser of two states is the non-entity, then in this specific case something ‘open’ is non-existent.
I imagined a lock and key, ‘naturally’ the lock exists in an open state, that is until the key is used to lock it, until an action is taken. I can’t erase the fact that the key has been used to lock the door, but I can open the door.
I can’t undo anything; I can only do the undoable.
First, the bullet shaped piece was detached from the cuffs, clattering to the ground. It took a little more focus for me to unlatch the cuffs, but they fell to the ground just as easily.
I sighed, damning myself for not being able to do that earlier. It wasn’t just that I was unwilling, I simply bet on the wrong horse, took the wrong path. I thought that somebody else would save me if I worked hard enough. In the end, only I can save myself, because I’m the only person who would.
I busted down the door to my cell, and walked into the corridor, squinting my eyes from the florescent light.
I thought about going after those distant sounds, realising that freeing whoever was trapped away wouldn’t help anyone. Why would I let them wander these halls? Worse, why would I keep them with me when I was planning on finding and kicking the shit out of the most dangerous person here?
I’d free Clover, get her to her men, they could stall one or two of the fomorians. I realised now that those people would be, most likely, sent to their deaths. It was Clover and her crew against the fomorians and theirs, plus Sea-threw Gurl from some unseen perch. They’d be killing each other. But if Belfast’s boss wasn’t taken care of first, then all of Clover’s men might be taken out in an instant, that was as best as I could split them.
Or so I thought.
As I was whisper-shouting ‘Clover’ down the halls, dealing with any guards, and by that I mean bruising their faces purple and misshaping their weapons, I heard footsteps. a lot of them, coming in loud and quick. My first thoughts were that Gurl had given away my position and was sending a troop after me, probably one of the fomorians as well.
I braced myself before running in that direction, finally turning a corner to see a dark wall, I skidded into a hail of bullets.
We both halted, recognising each other. It took me the length of the corridor to realise they weren’t in the same gear as the guys I'd taken out. A fat one in the back said something, tapping another guy.
He took off his helmet and I rolled my eyes seeing it was the fat guy from the quarter, one of the three men that had been sitting in there when I was looking for info on Gurl.
He said, “Shit, force of habit man, you get me.” A few laughed, others kept their rifles up.
I smiled, “If you bastards, put any holes in my suit, I will get you.”
It was supposed to be a joke, but only the fat guy laughed.
I tried to be cooperative, thumbing back, “I’ve swept the corridors on my left, we’ll have to check the one behind me,” I turned around to point, but there was something far more frightening walking up behind me.
Feoli, with groups of rounded pufferfish tied to her waist, filled with water I assumed. I froze. Then I got ready to jump forward. I questioned whether she was bullet proof. Beyond that, I questioned if she was still trying to kill me.
I told the guys behind me, “I’ve got this.”
She just said, “It’s alright. They can vouch for me.”
I didn’t turn back around as the fat guy spoke, “Y’all not on the same page?”
“No! She’s with Belfast!”
She looked me dead in the eyes, not at all worried, “I made a deal with them. I gave them the location of the entrance, a map of the sub complex, various codes for doors, and I detailed the powers and weakness of all Units, bar the boss, but including myself.”
I stammered in disbelief, “what-? You seemed totally for this whole thing when you captured Clover’s people and strapped those cuffs on me!”
She looked confused, “I was going to remove the cuffs using a slime mould, but you seem to have managed.”
I frowned, “Why? Why go through all this trouble when you could have just told me? You still could have gone under cover.”
The Mountain soldiers behind me walked by me and to her side. She answered, “Bea approached me back in February, saying Belfast would be advantageous to the war effort. I declined her offer because I don’t like her, and... because I was beginning to suspect that there was no war to be waged.”
She started to walk with the armed escort, and I had to run after them, “Then, Adonis approached me with the same offer. Initially, I turned him down. He told me to call him back. I didn’t even know what that meant at the time.”
I barged to the front of the party; it seemed best for the bullet-proof man to be in the front.
Feoli finished, “To answer your question, I didn’t tell you because Bea, one of my people, was already a part of the organisation. To put you against them, would be treachery. And because you wordlessly abandoned me after June. How was America?”
I didn’t have an answer for that.
The fat guy cut in, now wearing his helmet, “Shit yo doin’ seems pretty treacherous, Fe.”
I grimaced as Feoli replied, “You’d be right Wheeze. But like I said, I never liked her anyway. I decided that I'd forge a better path for my people. And I’ll be settling things with her.”
“Shamrock,” I turned around, it felt like the first time she said my name, “Thank you for showing me a better way to live.”
It was that smile she’d made on the roller coaster.
I stayed quiet. SP2 lost some of its hold on me when I heard those words.
The fat guy was saying something, when another soldier shut him up, saying, “this a field op, or a damn slumber party, fat ass.”
Then the rest of them mumbled, and he said, “we do this, we do this right- For the Mountain!” he chanted.
“For the Mountain!” Feoli and the rest of their men chanted back.
My face drooped as we walked on.
I mean, it would be more advantageous for the Fomorian Federation if they formed an alliance with the Mountain, over Belfast at least.
I’d really need to talk to her about it after the mission.