Chapter 104 - The Dilemma of a Life
Sisika:
We had walked for an entire day. The silence between us was thick, almost tangible. Ever since I pushed the boundaries with that conversation, he had shut down and hadn’t spoken to me again. A part of me felt a deep pain for reopening that wound in him, but I knew it was necessary. I had to make him face what he had sworn to forget, that truth that consumed him silently. Deep down, I knew it would be crucial for him and his future.
The truth about the death of his beloved... the truth that left him alone in the world, devoid of any motivation to keep living.
He still needed to overcome it, and I resented not having enough time to help him process it. But I couldn’t afford to be negligent. Time was against us, and he needed to be ready for what was coming, even if it meant causing him pain now.
I was pushing my own limits. I didn’t want to involve him, I didn’t want him to carry the weight I bear, but there was no other choice. Fate had pushed me toward him in the middle of all this chaos, and now... he was the only one I could trust with this burden. I knew my time with him was short, that our journeys would soon take different paths, and that pained me.
Maybe, if we had met under different circumstances, things could have been different. Maybe I could have enjoyed more time by Nathan’s side. Maybe I would have had the courage to tell him how much I love him.
But fate had other plans, and I could only move forward, preparing Nathan in the best way I could.
Nathan Evenhart:
It was night, and I found myself leaning against a tree, staring at the stars. Sisika had tried to interact with me earlier, as if it were easy to just move on. But after everything she revealed, how could I? I had thought that secret, the truth that ate me up inside, would die with me. Now I’d learned someone else knew.
“You need to eat,” she said, approaching again, holding a piece of meat from some animal she had hunted.
“I’m not hungry,” I replied, trying to push her away as if I were pushing away the shadows she had brought to light.
“You’re weak. If you don’t eat, you’ll get sick and die,” she insisted, unfazed.
“Maybe you don’t understand how human biology works…” I said, more to myself than to her.
She stayed there, unmoving, with a knife in hand and the meat skewered on it, watching me with those eyes that seemed to see more than I was willing to reveal.
“Fine…” I muttered, giving in more to exhaustion than to hunger.
“Good boy,” she said, patting me lightly on the head before walking away to sit further off.
I’m not a dog... She definitely doesn’t know how to handle someone going through such conflicted emotions...
As I chewed the meat, half-heartedly, I realized that one of the few things I had managed to absorb was that Sisika was definitely not just human;
If she’s even human at all...
One thing I knew for sure... I wasn’t ready to discover what—or who—she really was. Not after learning that she knew about that secret, the one that made me question everything about myself in my past life.
Out of reflex, I tried once again to use my magic, but nothing happened. I concentrated on my mana channels, trying to feel the flow of the Gem that should be coursing through my body. What I felt was only something moving up to my head, and I realized it had to do with my eyes. The final stage of awakening, as my teacher had once warned me about.
I remembered Adrihna and how she had told me that, as a child, she was considered ‘defective,’ since every high elf is a mage, but she couldn’t access her own element. That only changed when her eyes awakened. Maybe that’s what was happening to me now. My mana was completely blocked, channeled solely into my eyes. I was trapped, powerless, with no idea when I’d regain control.
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I lay down, still holding the piece of meat in my hand, but my mind had drifted far away. I thought about my family, wondering how they were doing.
Sifu and I had taken just a day to reach that part of the mountain, but now it had been two days since I disappeared. He must be wondering what happened, imagining the worst possible scenarios.
If Sifu had already reached the village by now, my mother would surely know that something had happened to me. He’s probably already alerted the others. Without needing to stop and track every step, his return to the place where I disappeared would have been much faster. If I were in his position, I’d gather as many soldiers as possible, maybe all one hundred men from the village, to march to that enemy base and search the entire area. Or perhaps he managed to interrogate the soldiers he captured and learned something about the person who ordered the attack on the village.
They might think I was kidnapped by those soldiers...
I was stuck with that thought, completely unable to predict what they would do. If they followed the wrong lead, they might attack the enemy, thinking I was there, when in reality, I’d been kidnapped by this strange woman, Sisika. I didn’t know what to think of her. Too strong, too fast. There was nothing I could do to escape her, and it was clear she knew that. The only reason I was ‘following’ her was because, in truth, I had no other choice.
My options are shit...
I looked around, taking in the strange landscape where the day had two suns and the night had two moons. It was only adding to my confusion. Every step I took was in her direction, not because I wanted to, but because I had no other alternative. I was relying 100% on Sisika to get me out of this place, but I didn’t know what she really wanted from me. Her questions, her hidden intentions, all of it kept me in a constant state of tension.
I couldn’t do anything but follow her, hoping that somehow, this absurd situation would end soon and I could return home.
***
Another day had arrived, and as we walked, my thoughts tried to process the strange landscape we were in. We hadn’t descended at all, only moving in a straight line, leaving me with no reference to understand how Sisika planned to get us out of this surreal place. The discomfort lingered, as if something didn’t quite make sense in what she had said.
“Nathan, if you only had one more day to live, what would you do?”
Her question snapped me out of my daze. After all this time with hardly any words exchanged, I didn’t expect that to be the first thing she would ask.
“Are you starting again with the questions?”
“Yes. I promised I’d take you back while trying to get to know you better. But you decided to stay silent. I respected that, but I’m in a bit of a complicated situation... I really need to know more about you. Can you answer a few questions?”
I sighed, mentally preparing myself for the interrogation.
“I won’t answer what I don’t want to. You know too much already, and I’m not in the mood to revisit my past.”
“That’s fine. You have the right.”
She stopped walking for a moment, watching me.
“Then tell me, what would you do if you only had one more day to live?”
I stopped, thinking about my answer. This was a question I had already asked myself in another life.
“If you know me well, you know I’ve asked myself that question before. This is still digging into my past...”
Her eyes widened, as if she had stepped into forbidden territory.
“No! I’m sorry. I didn’t ask with that intention, I really don’t know everything about your past. I’ve only seen some key moments... I don’t know it all.”
I stared at her, trying to read more from her than she was letting on. Sisika looked young in appearance, a red-haired soldier who seemed to be around 25 years old, maybe a bit older. But something about her didn’t follow human norms. She could be like the High Elves, whose real age didn’t match their youthful exterior. I knew she wasn’t an ordinary human.
No human could see Athena. No human could teleport. No human could accelerate the awakening of my eyes like she did, and no human could know my secret…
“I’ll answer your question if you answer mine. What were you doing on the day of the incident at the market and at the prince’s party? And what, exactly, are you?”
She hesitated for a second, but then replied.
“I was watching you during those moments. And at the party... let’s just say only you saw me.”
“What do you mean by ‘watching me’? Actually, forget it. You’re not going to explain. So tell me what you really are.”
“As for what I am... I promise I’ll tell you, but, unfortunately, it’ll happen when I won’t have time to hear your answer. That’s why I need to know more about you now. Can you answer the question I asked?”
She dodged the question again.
I sighed, realizing that getting answers from her would be nearly impossible.
I thought about her question, recalling my past life. Back then, that question didn’t hold much importance. But now, in this world, the answer was clear.
“If I only had one more day to live, I’d spend it with my family.”
Sisika looked at me from the side, analyzing my answer as if trying to extract something more.
“But what about someone who’s an orphan and never had a family?” she asked, almost as a challenge.
“I’d spend it with my friends.”
I thought of Chloe and Kinue. They were both friends and part of my family.
“And what if someone lost their only friend?”
“Then I’d spend it with the person I love.”
She smiled at me, as if satisfied with my answer.
“That was a good answer,” Sisika said, smiling as she continued walking.
And so we continued our journey, each of us lost in our own thoughts.