«You did what?!»
«Calm down, chief. I said we were fine after eating them. Well, Jas got a little sick but she got better quickly».
«What do you mean by “a little sick”, Steve?» Elisa asked with a hint – actually, more than a hint – of threat in her voice.
Shit! Jas will kill me. «Nothing serious, chief. She, uh, she will tell you the details herself if she wants. I mean, it’s personal information. Professional secret, patient to doctor and all that, you know...»
«You’re not her doctor, and neither am I».
He could feel her irritation mounting. «Y-yeah, you’re right, chief, but I can only tell you she got sick after she ate a lot of them».
«“A lot”, Steve?» She crossed her arms.
Great, now she’s angry. «Ehm... around twelve, I think».
«You think?!» She sighed, before turning to face Jaspinder: «Ok, I get it. Please talk to me later, Jas. We’ll be alone, don’t worry».
Jaspinder nodded at once, then as if previously agreed, both women turned towards Steve: one stared at him in silence, as if daring him to talk, or perhaps waiting for him to do exactly that, while the other had a glint of murder in her eyes. Once again, he showed great wisdom and understood that keeping his mouth shut was his best course of action.
After a few seconds, it was Elisa who spoke first, but this time her voice was made of ice shards. «What about you? How many?» She leaned forward, looming over him despite her shorter stature.
«Me? Well, six... or seven?» Steve started to shrink under her gaze. «I didn’t keep track. Look, Elisa, couldn’t—»
«Don’t “Elisa” me, Steve. This is serious. You both could have gotten sick or died. Since you had doubts, you should’ve erred on the side of caution. Which meant not eating the strange, big, black fruit! It’s not like you were starving, after all».
«I... you’re right. Sorry».
«Don’t be sorry, be smart! Both of you!» Her words made him feel like a recruit all over again. «You know damn well that some fruits can be toxic or downright poisonous and we don’t know if the ground around here is contaminated. Don’t you remember the leopard with six legs? That’s not something natural».
«Ok, but there are no big cats at all in Europe, chief, so that was probably some illegal experiment gone wrong. Maybe it has nothing to do with contamination».
«Elisa, couldn’t that woman—» Jas started to ask, cautious.
«Tár».
«Yes, Tár. Couldn’t she be mistaken? I mean, how do we know she’s right? Perhaps she thought those were another fruit, maybe a similar one».
«Do you want to take that chance? Because I don’t!» Chief Schwartzman replied, her voice rising in volume. Perhaps a bit too aggressive, but she was clearly not underestimating the issue.
«I think they’ve got the message, Elisa», Chief Anderson intervened as he put a hand on her shoulder. «On the plus side, now we know our enhancements work well. We can safely eat some of those poisonous berries before feeling sick, so we should be safe with other poisons as well, at least in small doses, no?»
«Always looking at the bright side of life, uh?» She glanced at the master chief sideways while still facing him with crossed arms, but Steve could see her posture relax.
Oh, good. It’s over.
«Just to be clear, we’ll not push our luck and limit ourselves to five of those berries, and only if we have nothing else to eat. I guess we’d be ok even with double the amount, but we won’t put that theory to the test, and this is final».
«Alright. You’re the medic», Chief Anderson replied.
«Indeed I am. Steve! Jaspinder!»
Or maybe not...
«Yes, ma’am!» They replied in unison.
«You’re on second watch for the next week».
«Oh, come on, chief. Second watch sucks», Steve complained.
«Exactly. Now, stop whining and save your breath. We have a long walk ahead of us and we still need to find a place to camp for the night».
***
The next morning, Elisa was examining one of the men, the stethoscope on his back. He was slick with sweat and paler than his usual greyish complexion, and one did not need to listen to his laboured breathing to understand he was sick.
«We’d need an x-ray to be completely certain, Brad, but I’m quite sure he has pneumonia». Elisa disconnected the stethoscope from her helmet and put it back into one of her backpack’s many pockets.
They had slept once again out in the open, but at least they had remained dry. However, thanks to the rain from the previous days, coupled with the chilly night temperature and the fact that most of the group was half naked and wearing dirty and torn clothes, Chief Anderson’s fear became reality: four people got sick. A woman and two men came down with what seemed to be a normal cold that, albeit annoying, was not life-threatening yet. The last one, however, had slowly gotten worse than the others.
As if on cue, the man – Vor-something – visibly shivered and was then violently shaken by another fit of coughing that bent him forward in powerful bouts. It ended half a minute later with him spitting yellowish phlegm onto the grass. His breathing was ragged and uneven, that much was clear to anyone who cared to listen and it could not have been clearer that his physique was useless in that situation: no amount of muscle could help fight an internal sickness.
«I bet he was already sick when we rescued them, and it’s no wonder given how they were treated. He also has a very high fever, so I’ll inject him with a strong dose of paracetamol and antibiotics, but I can’t spare more than one, so we have to hope it’ll be enough. We must also keep him hydrated, but at least that won’t be a problem. I don’t have anything for the cough, though».
«Don’t worry, chief», Steve chimed in, «I think they’re ahead of you in this regard», and pointed at a blonde girl, the second youngest of the group, moving towards them. More precisely, she was walking towards one of the other women, who took the bundle of leaves the girl showed her and discarded some. She proceeded to wash them using one of the improvised canteens they had made in the last days, then took four leaves and, without much fanfare, shoved them under Vor’s nose until he accepted them into his mouth; then, she walked away, her three brown braids swaying with each of her steps. Shorter than the rest of her companions, likely in her late twenties, she was one of the only two women with braided hair.
Unusual, Steve had thought. Everybody else is still sporting very simple and practical hairstyles. Why the change?
He had noticed a few things while observing their new travel companions, and surely missed many more, but had not seen anything particular regarding the two women. They had been unremarkable until, during a break the previous day, they had sat down to meticulously braid each other’s hair in complete silence, with flowing tears completing the sombre mood; Steve had witnessed it all, and he, just like the rest of the group, had given them ample space, not bothering them. Afterwards, the only ones he saw interacting with them were the young girl, Tár, and a young men who looked no older than twenty.
At the moment, though, he watched fascinated as the man chewed and chewed, keeping the resulting bolus between his cheek and his teeth, until his cough abated a bit and he could breathe with some more ease.
«Some kind of medicinal plant with emollient properties?» Elisa questioned out loud.
«I guess? It looked a bit like mallow from here, but I’m not sure», Steve replied.
«Well, I imagine she’d normally prepare an infuse with it, or a decoction. Something stronger than just chewing leaves, anyway. Still, better than nothing: at least he’ll be able to drink without the risk of spitting everything or choking himself».
«Talking about spitting», Steve said, «why do you think Braid Girl number one hates us? I don’t recall Braid Girl number two being so openly hostile. Is it something we did? And why do they both have only three braids? Why not four or five? Is it a trend?»
«Go ask them if you’re curious. Maybe you’ll touch on a taboo and they’ll punch you, who knows. A girl can dream», Elisa replied. «And who says she hates us?»
«Always so violent...» he mumbled, shaking his head. «Well, I’d ask but there’s a tiny problem called “language barrier”, as you already know, chief, and I’m not going to ask about hairstyles to a person who clearly hates us. I mean, you saw how she gave us the stink eye, spit in our direction, and sported on her face the biggest “I hate you” ever, no?»
«Oh, that. Sure, but are you certain she doesn’t simply hate you?»
Steve crossed his arms. «Know that I shall be offended by your next statement. Why would anyone hate good ol’ me?»
«I don’t know... Your face?»
«Ok, I said I’d be offended, but I’ll let this one slide. A reward for the effort, chief; you know I really appreciate German humour, don’t you?»
«No, I don’t remember you ever saying that».
«Exactly! Now, I can’t speak for your whole country, but I can definitely say you’re more fun than Lady Braids».
The master chief, who had refrained from meddling into their exchange until then, chose that moment to speak up, massaging his temple in the meantime. «I know I’ll regret this, but... “Lady Braids”? Seriously? Are you trying different nicknames, Steve?»
«Bloody Oath! She’s a woman, not a girl, so “Braid Girl” is not appropriate, but calling her only “Braids” is bland, uninspired, even rude. Also, this way we don’t need to number them! She’s Lady Braids and the other is Braid Girl. You can’t deny it fits, master chief».
«That... makes an odd kind of sense», Chief Bradley agreed, though he seemed a tad reluctant.
«I know, right? It’s just like with Todd and Michael, my mom’s brothers: I couldn’t really distinguish them from one another when I was a kid, ’cause they looked similar and were close in age, so I just called them “Uncle Shirt” and “Uncle Jeans”, fair dinkum! You know, one always wore a white shirt and the other always wore blue jeans. At least that’s how I remember them». Steve paused, a grin on his face, expecting some questions, but Chief Anderson simply stared at him without blinking, so, after a beat, he carried on. «The cool thing is, it worked! Made my life easier».
«Wait. Just wait a moment». Chief Bradley raised his open hand to make him stop. «You addressed you uncles as “Uncle Shirt” and “Uncle Jeans”? Are you serious?»
«Negative, chief. I didn’t call them that way in their face! I wasn’t an idiot».
«Colour me surprised». Apparently, Elisa could not resist the temptations of sarcasm. «So, when did it happen?»
«That I called them by their names?»
«That you became an idiot».
«Chief Bogeyman, that’s not humour, but I’ll be the bigger man here and forgive you since you’re new to it». A lesser man would have called his tone “condescending”, but Steve was simply expressing his true feelings.
«Well, no doubt you’re a man, as far as I know. About the “bigger” part, I have some doubts. I chanced upon Cora a bunch of times in the last month, you know; we talked about this and that, your sexual life and… let’s say she still hates your guts», she replied, goading him. Who knew what Cora had told her: maybe something true, maybe she had invented stuff just to hurt his reputation.
«Oh, come on, I didn’t cheat on her. I dated her friend, true. Well, ex-friend now, I guess… but I did it after I left her».
«Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Get on with your story, before Brad murders us».
«No drama. The master chief is too nice to do that, unlike someone I know».
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
Meanwhile, that same master chief was staring in silence at the two of them bickering. He had been doing so for the last couple of minutes, and that was starting to make Cooper worry.
«Anyway, I only called them “Uncle Jeans” and “Uncle shirt” when talking to my mum about them. In front of them I just said “uncle”».
«I’m speechless…» Chief Bradley closed his eyes behind the now clear visor and dropped his head.
«But, hear me out, I still remember the first time I called them by their names!» Steve kept talking with gusto, now on a roll. «My mom was shocked at first but then kept a silly and warm smile the whole day, and my uncles started to laugh, gave me a high-five and hugged each other. It was really wholesome». He leaned on a tree and crossed his legs, his hand scratching his chin. «Thinking about it, it may have taken me a bit too long».
A sound finally escaped the chief. A sigh. «Just out of curiosity... how old were you, Steve? When you finally remembered your uncles’ names, I mean».
«17, why?»
«17...» Chief Anderson repeated. He followed suit with a very deep breath and released an even deeper sigh. He took his helmet off. «And the first time you met them was?»
«That I recall? I was 5 or 6, I reckon. I surely met them before, but I was too young to remember».
«So, it took you 11 years to remember your uncles’ names». A dry statement.
«Well, yeah. It happens. I told you it may have taken me a bit too long».
Master Chief Anderson closed his eyes and put a hand on his face for a few seconds. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose. «Nevermind. Let’s go, we still need to get some water at the river. Especially for Vorsonur».
«Who?»
«The sick guy».
«Oh, right! That’s his name! Thanks, chief». Steve exclaimed, slapping his hands together for emphasis.
Elisa barked a laugh and shook her head.
Chief Bradley did not reply, he simply looked at him for a moment, then turned to walk in the direction of the river.
***
Night came, then morning, and Steve woke up groggier than usual, consequence of second shift. Therefore, he decided to share his unbiased opinion on it with everyone else, willing listeners or not. He even struck up conversations with the men and women they were escorting, though it would have been more accurate to call them monologues. The only one who replied to him was Lady Braids, and despite not understanding a word of what she said, her tone was enough to make him understand his attempts to chat were not appreciated. Of course, Steve kept at it because, first of all, it was fun, and second, short of a direct order, he had no intention to let anyone silence him when he wanted to talk. Lady Braids did not reciprocate his renewed conversation attempts, but he was in no hurry. She would come around, eventually... or start throwing rocks at him. The odds were more or less even.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. It was, once again, a long trek through the forest, that Steve would have appreciated much more, had their circumstances been different; the lush greenery of the oaks, the beauty of the evergreens, the sporadic unobstructed views of the clear sky, and that sense of serenity one could only find far away from civilization, all made for a fantastic excursion. At least when you did not have to worry about all manners of deadly animals, treacherous plants, or the heat from the sun potentially killing you.
He had not been back for close to two years, and Steve was starting to dearly miss Australia. Europe was charming, entertaining, marvellous even, and the US was wild to say the least… but down under everything was more: the sky was vast, the ocean boundless, the land stretched further down on the horizon, and everything smelled different, smelled right. It was home.
«Steve». A familiar voice interrupted his musings.
«Yes, chief?»
«Stop daydreaming and come with me. Brad wants to talk to all of us». Senior Chief Rossi prompted him to follow as he walked towards the rest of the team. They had found a small clearing, just a few metres wide, which they had elected fit to rest for the night. Jaspinder was leaning against a tree, helmet on the ground, fiddling with the straps of her backpack; Elisa had taken off her gloves and was eating some leftover jerky, probably the last remaining. Old man Tetsuo was being himself, and Chief Anderson looked like a Hollywood action hero: rifle in his hands, helmet on his hip, squared jaw, five o’clock shadow, some sweat and grime, and piercing blue eyes. The scene just lacked a few explosions in the background. He nodded at the two of them as they got closer, and Steve could not help but ponder on how perfectly American their fearless leader was.
«America, fuck yeah! Comin’ again to save the motherfuckin’ day, yeah...» He found himself sing, loud enough for Chief Rossi to turn his head and look at him. Despite the helmet, he could see one eyebrow shoot up through the visor, and he knew he was giving him his trademark perplexed face.
Or “punch-me-now” face, as Steve liked to call it.
He waved at the Italian and was about to say something, when Chief Bradley spoke.
«Listen up! We have a problem: our friends here are half naked, drenched from the rain and getting sick. We need to light a fire. Yes, they are holding on for now, but they’re still human, the nights are cold and we are not a walking pharmacy».
«Brad, I know you already know, but I must say it anyway», Chief Rossi interjected. «A fire will give out our position to anything flying around, and there’s a chance the smoke will be seen even by those on the ground».
«Check, Al, but we don’t have alternatives. We have no emergency blankets, and since I doubt we’ll find any around, much less dry clothes for all sixteen of them, the only way to keep all of them from getting sick is a fire. We’ll make a few Dakota fire holes; we’ll have more heat with less wood and less smoke».
«The wood’s all wet. It will make a lot of smoke anyway».
«Check, Elisa, but I don’t see a better solution. I’m open to suggestions, though. Anyone?» Bradley turned his hand towards his team, inviting them to speak.
They all looked at each other, then back at Bradley, but they all kept silent.
«Very well. We must find an area where the sky is obscured by the trees but with enough empty space to dig a few holes close together».
«Five», Elisa said. «We need at least five DFH if we want to keep warm and dry all of them».
Bradley nodded at the suggestion.
Given the situation, Steve took the chance to make his proposition. «Hey, since we’re at it, let’s have a barbie! Okay, it will just be some roasted meat, not a real barbie, but at least we’ll manage to eat something more filling than wild berries and nuts». The rest of Charlie turned to look at him. «I mean, it won’t give our position away any more than the fire itself, so... why not have some warm food? It will be good for Lady Braids and her friends as well».
A moment of silence passed.
«Not a bad idea», the master chief said, and Steve grinned behind the helmet.
«True, he could have proposed something much more stupid», Chief Rossi said.
«Hey!» His smile faded, substituted by righteous indignation. «When have my ideas been less than stellar?»
«Last year in Valencia?» Elisa proposed.
«Our first mission in Bali», Jaspinder added. Traitor.
«Rio, Vladivostok, Calgary...», Chief Rossi listed, keeping count on his fingers.
«Do you remember what he said in Benguela? “Leave it to me, guys!”», Tetsuo snorted, and the rest burst out laughing without restraint, drawing the curious gazes of Tár and her companions.
«You too, old man? Woe is me! I’m surrounded by assholes».
«Keep firing, assholes!» The senior chief suddenly said in a deep and somewhat muffled voice. He clearly expected Steve and the others to react in some way, but all he received were quizzical looks, with the merry atmosphere suddenly cooled due to their confusion, though the laughter kept going some more. «Bah! Pearls to swine...» he complained, shaking his head and making a very polite gesture with his hand.
«Oh, fuck off, Al. No one knows your random movie quotes», Elisa rebuked him, still smiling, as she straightened up, one hand drying her tears.
«Uncultured heathens, that’s what you are», he replied.
Chief Bradley had his eyes closed and was pinching hard the bridge of his nose. «Alright, alright. Back on topic: we’re making a bonfire to warm up our gray friends and roast some meat; a soup would be better, but we lack a pot... or any cooking tools in general. In any case, this means we have to go hunting again: Steve and I will go once we find a place where to stop for the night, but we must also keep foraging for berries and the like. Al, I’ll leave that to you: take care of it, have a fire ready for when we come back, and don’t forget our guests».
«Aye, aye, Brad».
«Okay, I’ll join you, chief», Jaspinder said as she stood up.
«No need, Jas. I got this. It will be the Chief and I, hunting buddies».
«What’s this, a male-bonding experience in the wild?»
«Sounds more like the title of a bad buddy-cop movie», the Senior Chief added, though no one had asked him.
«Suit yourself, Steve», Jas continued a beat later, «I just wanted to help and not leave all the burden to you again. I'll ask Tar and “Lady Braids” to come with me and gather some fruits, then. The non-poisonous kind».
«Ok? Is it just me, or are you pissed?»
«Me? No, of course not. Just because you gaandu brought back those berries again, despite knowing they made me sick, then we had to tell Elisa exactly what happened, got an alpha-charlie, and now we’re always on second watch? Why would I be angry?» She paused, glaring at him.
«Well, if you say you’re not angry, who am I to contradict you?» That said, Steve walked away, not leaving Jaspinder the chance for a rebuttal. In the last days, since everything had gone wrong, he had not felt like caring much about anything.
Yeah, what’s the point? Caring means worrying, and that means effort. If Jas wants to be salty for a stupid fruit, who gives a fuck? A tiny voice in the back of his head, or maybe a clear chime, young but somewhat old, agreed with him, so quiet that he did not give it a second thought. Sure, she got the runs but then got better, so why the drama? Elisa already chewed and spit us out.
He smiled, as a sudden thought popped up in his mind, regarding sunglasses, one-liners and The Who.
Jaspinder’s kick on his butt made him stumble, but his smile only grew wider.
A deep ancient whisper that was perhaps a newborn high-pitched scream, barely perceptible behind Steve’s thoughts, smiled as well.
***
It was mid-afternoon, around sixteen hundred hours when Steve and Chief Anderson went hunting. They had roughly two hours until sunset, after which finding game would become a daunting task. The Australian, however, did not appear worried.
«You know, Chief, I like hunting with you. You’re the only one in our little club that appreciates the ancient art and knows how to do it respectfully».
Chief Bradley was walking quietly, looking around to see if he spotted traces or, with some luck, an animal. Just like Steve, he was surely using the helmet’s IFF software for something not covered by the user manual.
«“Respectfully”?» He asked, doubt seeping from his words.
«Yes. You respect the animals, the forest, the natural balance. I’ve seen you hunt more than once, and you simply procure your own food; you don’t do it to have some trophy to hang on a wall, and I appreciate that ’cause it’s my same mindset. I bet that if you’d been born two hundred years ago, you’d have been an adventurer, an explorer of the Rocky Mountains and the Far West, a tough bastard like Davy Crockett».
«Steve, while I appreciate your newfound hippie outlook on the world, I’m trying to understand if you’re making fun of me or if you’re serious, and I don’t know which option I’d prefer…»
«Oh, come on, I’m totally serious, chief. Scout’s honour!»
Chief Bradley groaned. «You know that I know that you’ve never been a scout».
«And you also know I’d never mock you, chief».
«… let’s just focus on finding some meat for dinner».
They kept walking through the forest, searching for traces of animal passage, but without going too far away from the river. After an hour or so of nothing, they finally found a trail, and Steve lead the way, the traces as clear as day to his eyes; a shallow footprint, a patch of empty grass, a few flattened plants, still warm excrement: everything seemed to picture a larger animal compared to the hares from the other day, and Steve very much liked the perspective of hunting it.
Please, let it not be another green variant... or with six legs. I hope these mutations are not common.
As they followed their prey, a strong wind started blowing from North-West, joined soon by a light drizzle; it slightly obscured their view but, on the other hand, helped to mask their scent. The pursuit went on for a while before they finally found their quarry: the two slowly knelt, hiding behind a bush, downwind of the animal – a boar, it seemed – they had been hunting for the last hour. It was at most two hundred metres away from them, grazing without a care in the world, uncaring of the light rain and unaware it had been chosen as their meal for the night. Chief Anderson slowly took aim, his breathing even, pressing the M4 firmly against his right shoulder, the weapon steady in his hands. He turned the safety off with the thumb and put his index finger on the trigger, ready to fire. Some gentle rain would not be an obstacle: Steve had seen the chief hit smaller targets in much worse weather. Sure, Chief Bradley was not as good as him – then again, few came close at all – but he was still an expert marksman.
«Isn’t using a scoped carbine cheating?» Steve’s sudden question froze the Master Chief, who took a deep breath, sighed aloud, lowered his weapon, and finally turned to look at him.
«Why, pray tell, would it be?».
«Eh, I don’t know, chief. It just feels like it. I was thinking to make a trap, you know, to give the beast a fair chance».
«Again, congratulations on your nature lover spirit, Steve, but before you go hug a tree, ask yourself a simple question: “Do I want to eat tonight?”».
«Well, yes, of course».
«Then shut up and keep watch on it!»
«Yes, sir».
The shot was extremely quiet and too loud at the same, and the animal collapsed to the ground, lifeless. The duo moved out of their hiding spot, and began to walk toward their prey, looking up from time to time to check if there were any unwanted guests. The chief, in particular, paid a lot of attention to trees with low branches, giving them a wide berth when possible; the ambush by the green leopard had been a scary affair, after all.
«This bloody forest is starting to give me the creeps, chief. Not a single bird was scared by the shot, or by the boar suddenly falling to the ground. Hell, I don’t think I’ve seen or heard any in the last few days».
«Can’t argue with that. The sooner we get out of here, the better. Once we find a civilized place with a working phone, we can leave our new friends at what passes for a hospital around here and contact HQ. I need to know what happened to Edge».
Steve kept silent. He had been trying not to think about their colleagues in the days since they had lost contact, because the uncertainty just sent his mind down a dark spiral of concern. He was brought back from his dark thoughts by Chief Anderson, who had knelt down next to the boar.
«Well, it’s black-ish, and has four legs. Everything normal».
«Oh, good».
«But it’s definitely not a boar».
«Eh? What do you mean?»
«Well, I think we’ve killed a unicorn», the chief said with gravitas, and pointed at the boar’s head.
Steve moved aside to take a better look, and saw what was unmistakably a wild boar, and a large one at that.
Well, that’s a male for sure. Thick hide, black fur, the tail is short... there’s the pig snout, the horn on the forehead, the tusks, the normal four, damn, legs, and a bullet hole to the side of the neck. A very normal, very dead, boar.
«Nice shot, chief. A clean kill. I give it an 8 out of 10. Seems like you hit an artery, but what do you mean by unic—» Steve froze. Wait a sec! He turned his head to look at their soon-to-be dinner once again. «What the fuck? Boars don’t have horns!»
«I told you we’ve hunted ourselves a unicorn», the chief replied and started to laugh. At first, Steve was speechless. Then, the absurdity of the situation dawned on him and he, too, snorted and giggled; soon after he was laughing out loud, a hand on his hip and one on the chief’s shoulder to steady himself. As the sun started its final leg for the day, the two of them laughed, the sound like thunder in the silence of the forest. So hard Steve was laughing, that a buzzing sound sprang out in his ears, not dissimilar from tinnitus; he thought nothing of it at the moment, as it was nothing to worry about. Plus, his mind was otherwise occupied. For a moment, however, a fleeting moment, he thought he heard a voice behind the buzz, or maybe it was a chime, it was young and old at the same time, a deep whisper and a loud scream.
It, too, was laughing.