I've hosted many games, to you I regale

A most recent blunder, a truly epic fail

But first you must know the star of this tale

Noble born of dragon's blood, his name's Drakon

Arrogantly haughty, his opinion never wrong

He arrives in town after a journey not long

And upon a barge captain, he spins him a song

"Why is this ship not loaded and already underway?

For what do you think you people are paid?"

"Who be you, to come here bossing me crew?"

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

"Why I am the Captain, as you surely knew."

The player rolled his die, to sell this tall buff

I warned him fairly, "This will be quiet tough"

The die fell to natural 20 surely t'was thus

I looked to my player, "That's not enough"

"I be the Captain, ye proud stupid fool!

Now get off me ship, before ye be gruel!"

Drakon cried foul play, said I bent the rule

I said "He's the Captain, he's not your tool."

"I cast fireball" to the table's lament.

"Firebolt, surely that is what you meant?"

"I would make an example, a Frieza moment.

Now tell me DM, which of them do I get?"

He rolls his eight dice, and I throw my ten

"They fall to the deck, you've killed all of them"

"How could that be? I just dealt thirty-seven"

"These are not monsters, only common men."

The party takes up arms, a panic ensues

We take a quick break, then the panic resumes.

"I didn't think they'd die. I had assumed-"

"They are all dead, tell me what you do."

Drakon roared "We burn the town down."

Vivian said "We hide, let's go to ground."

Wrench uttered "Wait guys, we can turn this around."

Then my players all heard a sound

Twas the sound a girl, who's father just died.

My players listen, as the girl cried.

I am proud to say, one was teary-eyed.

Drakon seized action, he swiftly did decide.

"I cast another Fireball."

Then the girl too did die.

"Let's call that game" I said in bitter stride

Meanwhile I died in part too, on the inside.