I've played a few games, to you I regale

A blunder long past, a truly epic fail

But first you must know the star of this tale

Twas session zero, we were starting anew

The premise this time, we'd soon be a pirate crew

To fit that mold, our characters we must hew

It should have been a simple matter, easy enough to do

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

And so a lizardman was made, savage and primal

We all spawned at the docks making our first arrival

We'd brave the high seas, through plunder, reaping survival

The lizard's player made his first choice, one most final

"I don't get on the boat. I shall hold the rudder and float."

Our DM was new to the role, quiet uncertain still

But he wanted to try the challenging role to fill

He lost his nerve to the selfish player of stronger will

And so the stupid lizard he did not offhandedly kill

Our ship was attacked by pirates, to no one's surprise

We took to the deck and fought with wild eyes

Except for the lizard, the scrappy jerkass only hides

And because of his cowardice, a PC swiftly dies

The battle was won, the pirates repelled

The survivors were drained, no skill was withheld

Up the side of the boat the lizard rappelled

With a rage and a blade, the party he felled

And so our story ended before it truly begun

Our characters lived not a single trip of the sun

With a smug smile, the Lizard boldly states "I won."