[Discourse Attached File]
[The_Werewolf_Outbreak_Transformation_Test_Scene.doc]
Ugh... How long am I going to stay in this hut anyway?
First, I was attacked by some kind of beast until an old man saved me. I survived, barely a few scratches and bites, I think. Then he forced me to stay in his home for a few nights. I don't know why, but he said something about "my own and everyone's safety". After that, he started to train me in martial arts or something. I mean, I appreciate the self-defense lessons, but wasn't that a bit much?
Then again, I felt a bit weird after that attack. I suddenly have the urge to eat anything meat, I hear and smell everything all around me (which is too much since thunder and a simple door knock are enough to make my ears burst), and I can see better at night. My savior didn't say anything when I pointed these things out, but he only said that "everything will be clear" after tonight.
Now, I'm stuck in this hut for the rest of the night and I can't go back home until night has passed. I mean, isn't he a bit paranoid? It's not like I'm gonna turn into a werewolf, right?
Right?
As I look outside the window, I look up at the cloudy night sky. For some reason, I feel antsy just looking at the clouds hiding the moon. Why am I suddenly like this? Why am I hot all of a sudden? I start to gasp as I remove my shirt while my body is sweating.
Dammit! What the hell is going on?!
There's no way werewolves are real! I mean, that beast was a wildebeest, right? I heard werewolves were people cursed to become wolf monsters in the full moon that attack people and... And...
I don't want to become a dangerous werewolf! I might hurt someone close if I do!
I keep denying that werewolves aren't real. I keep denying I wasn't bitten by one.
But I opened my eyes and gasped to see the clouds uncover a full moon. And then, I feel a sharp pain in my back. An unbearable pain enough for me to drop to my knees. Then I hear bones start to crack within my body. And it hurts.
God, it hurts so bad. Everything in my body hurts so bad. I screamed at how painful it was.
I looked at my hands first and gasped to see my nails begin to grow and sharpen. Almost like the claws of a wolf. I also noticed hair begins to grow at the back of my hands as they grow bigger and more paw-like. Before I could process what the hell is happening to me, a sharp pang pierces into my mouth and I feel something strange in my ears. I fear the worst. I can't walk to the mirror because of my back. So I crawl towards the old mirror nearby. When I see myself in my reflection, I gasped to see my ears become pointed and my teeth turned into fangs.
No, no, no, no, no!
This isn't happening. This isn't real! I don't want to be a werewolf!
Yet it seems like my body isn't listening as I hear more bone breaking and cracking. My feet burst out from my shoes as they stretched out and changed into hindlegs with the same claws as my hands, disallowing me to stand again as black fur began to spread around my legs. As it happened, I could hear my spine cracking as I felt it bursting out from my pants. I looked behind me to see that I had grown a tail. A long, fluffy wolf's tail. I looked in the mirror again to see more changes happening to me. My eyes were starting to turn golden yellow and my face started to be covered in fur.
At this point, I couldn't take it anymore!
"D-Damn it!!! H-Help me... H-He- H-He...he...RAAAAGGGGHHH!!!"
As soon as I open my mouth, I feel like my skull starts to pound like crazy. I look down and my face starts to stretch out. More fangs came out of my gums as my face slowly transformed. In the mirror, I see that it changed into a wolf's muzzle. My ears also raised up as they grew bigger and shaped into wolf's ears. I tried to speak again, but all it's coming out are growls. I keep trying, but the more I growl, the more I kinda like it.
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Wait, what am I thinking?! Am I... changing on the inside, too?
No, no! I don't want to become a werewolf. I-I don't...
"RAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!"
Somebody... Help...
Somebody... Kill... Me...
Somebody... Help... Me...
Help me...
HELP ME SATISFY MY HUNGER!!!
I must...hunt!
I must...find prey!
I look at myself in the mirror.
I know who I am.
I am a hunter! I care nothing but to hunt my prey!
Everything is my prey! And no one, NO ONE, will stop me!!!
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[Discourse Date: October 28, 2050]
[LycanFanatic:
So...]
[LycanFanatic:
What do you think?]
[MoonlightMask:
I can name many things wrong with this scene.]
[MoonlightMask:
First off, I think you gave the MC too much angst and denial about that situation.]
[MoonlightMask:
Sure, I get he has legitimate reasons why he didn't want that transformation. But he should have accepted the reality that werewolves really exist in mid-transformation. I mean, his savior did give him lessons and he already noticed his enhanced senses.]
[LycanFanatic:
That's true. But this guy is supposed to be the reluctant hero. The main idea is that he's a timid guy in his human form, but he's aggressive but protective in his werewolf form. This establishes his dual personalities between his forms.]
[MoonlightMask:
And there's another issue. I think you made his werewolf persona a bit too aggressive. He's more of a wild animal than a protective wolf.]
[MoonlightMask:
Also, I don't know if the first-person POV fits with this story. Why not the usual third-person?]
[LycanFanatic:
Keyword: Psychological]
[LycanFanatic:
If we want to show the protagonist's transformation from meek to strong, then we want the readers to know what the hell is he thinking during his transformation.]
[LycanFanatic:
Not every novel and web fiction we know show what the affected was thinking while they become an aggressive and wild werewolf.]
[LycanFanatic:
Okay, so there are some depictions of werewolves that lost their minds and humanity from their transformation. So they technically don't have thoughts the moment they cross that border.]
[LycanFanatic:
But come on! We want something different for our werewolf story. That's why I have you as my co-writer and editor for it.]
[MoonlightMask:
Of course. Alright, I get your point.]
[MoonlightMask:
Still, we might try to rewrite this scene a bit. Maybe have him accept the inevitability of his situation.]
[MoonlightMask:
He doesn't have to embrace his situation beforehand. Maybe he tries to do everything to endure the transformation and call for help.]
[LycanFanatic:
Okay, fair. I'll do that right away. I wrote the outline in the notes.]
[LycanFanatic:
Thanks for your contributions as always, partner! You have the usual common sense and editing prowess that rivals professionals!]
[LycanFanatic:
Then again, you also moonlight as a bonafide werewolf.]
[MoonlightMask:
Oh, please.]
[MoonlightMask:
Save the compliments in
[MoonlightMask:
Besides, you don't know how hardcore the werewolves are there.]
[LycanFanatic:
And I have to stop you right there, mister! Let's move on before you start ranting about them again!]
[LycanFanatic:
I may be a Werewolf fan, but I have limits, dude!]
[MoonlightMask:
LOL]
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[COMING SOON IN A FULL MOON]