The setting is Valhalla at one of the local markets. The author did not choose this location. Rather it was Little Sprite that chose it.

Sprite: “Ahem”

The author looks up at the sprite flying around him. His arms are crossed and his wings flicker in agitation.

Author: Oh right, “Sir Dewey Herschel” or was it “Stardust Herschel”?

The sprite snorts at him and flies off.

The Author is left to contemplate what just happened. He continues on in the direction the sprite flew in. A few minutes later he finds the sprite sitting on a crate of watermelons. The watermelons notably have bite marks in them with some chunks missing. The sprite is happily helping himself, face and teeth first into the hides of said watermelons.

The author walks up to him.

Author: So about that interview.

The sprite looks up, rather annoyed. He slowly flies up, his wings flick once and he launches into a direction further into the market. The author tries to follow him. The author finds him about thirty seconds later on a table full of tomatoes. The sprite is about to bite into one of them until he looks up at the sound of the author running up to him. The author is noticeably panting. The sprite plops down, closes his eyes and crosses his arms and legs.

Sprite: Go away!

The sprite turns around and grabs a small tomato. It soon has bite marks and a chunk missing. He tosses it to the side and goes for another. After the third one he turns around and looks up at the author, whom is still standing there, looking down at him.

Sprite: Are you still here?

Author: Yes, we…

Sprite: There is no -we-. Get lost!

The sprite sees his demand isn’t meant. He suddenly kicks off the table and uses his wings full rudder and launches into another direction. The author follows the sprite’s blue blur further down the market. Some two minutes later there is a commotion as two stall keepers are chasing the sprite with a broom. There are several screams as he darts between different directions, under the legs of two patrons, and then lands on the head of one of them. He darts off again when a broom narrowly misses him. The author is hot on his heels.

Somewhere on the other edge of the market, some thirty minutes later the author manages to find the sprite. Sprite is helping himself to a crate of apples, most of which have been eaten by this point.

The author trails up to him and accidentally bumps his shoes into the create. The jostled sprite looks up. He attempts to fly off, but he doesn’t move; his wings attempt to flicker, but it is in vane.

Author: You ate too much again, didn’t you.

The sprite lets out a deliberate burp to clear part of his stomach.

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Author: We did have an interview scheduled.

The sprite stops to think about it for a second. He clears his throat and holds out his hand.

The author looks down at him with a scowl. He produces a jar of Valhallan Honey. The sprite’s eyes go wide as he attempts to fly, but comes crashing to the ground.

Author: That’s what you get for gorging on food. I’ll give this to you later.

The sprite looks up hopelessly and finally drops to his knees and rolls onto his back. With little else to do he agrees to an interview.

Sprite: But only until I can fly again!

The author eyes him square in the eye once.

Author: You don’t like listening to others, do you?

Sprite: What’s in it for me?

Author: Is that why you left Southerly Village?

Sprite shrugs.

Author: No seriously, everyone would like to know.

The sprite looks up and towards the direction of the author’s finger. He follows it to a camera.

Sprite: You’re lucky I can’t fly!

Author: So is it true you if discharge waste in the form of a crystalline compound that grows into a tree?

Sprite: Yeah.

Author: So why don’t you.

Sprite turns his body away from the author.

Author: You really are lazy when it comes to taking care of yourself aren’t you?

The sprite looks over at the author again and scowls. He bolts his head away again.

Author: You certainly seem to get along with Sweiza.

Sprite pushes himself to his feet crosslegged.

Sprite: She’s different. She feeds me.

Author: Does she take care of you also?

The sprite beams.

Sprite: Yes. She doesn’t make me clean up crystal.

Author: Is it true if too much crystalline builds up that it makes you lethargic?

The sprite makes a face.

Author: I heard it is edible.

Sprite: It tastes bland and isn’t particularly good.

Author: So if I were to make a few guesses, you left Southerly Village because you overate, didn’t care for yourself and didn’t clean after yourself.

Sprite grimaces.

Sprite: It’s not my fault! They kept pestering me to clean when it wasn’t my turn.

Author: Is it true you also lie alot?

Sprite: It’s not true!

Author: I heard Sweiza put a lot of training into you to set you straight.

Sprite beams again.

Sprite: I only stick around because she feeds me and puts my talents to use.

Author: And yet you’ve stuck around with her for nearly half a decade. Seems to be a bit more going on there.

Sprite looks up toughtfully.

Sprite: Sweiza feeds me sugar and honey. End of story.

Author: It must be hard to come by in the wild.

Sprite: It is.

Author: So what is the deal with that matchbox bed?

Sprite looks up at the author like he is weird. The author stares down at the sprite. Sprite gets nervous. He laughs nervously.

Sprite: Her parents hated it when I was in the house. Crystal on this and that. They finally agreed if I stayed in her room only. That doesn’t stop the few times I’d raid the pantry. I thought a bed was neat. Sweiza offered to get me a matchox bed if I’d stop stealing. I agreed.

Author: That’s the longest response we’ve gotten out of you.

Sprite: Yeah, well, it’s personal.

Author: You are a private individual?

Sprite: These questions are weird.

The author points at the camera gain.

Author: It is an interview.

Sprite lets out a squawk.

Sprite: Others are watching this?!

Sprite stands up bewildered.

Author: Your kind seem to only squawk when they are upset. Is that true?

Sprite stares at the camera, back to the author and then to the camera again.

Sprite: Find someone else! I’m out of here!

Sprite lets out an angry chirp and kicks his feet off the ground. He hovers a few feet from and above the author’s head.

Author: Hey, wait a minute. What about being soul linked with Sweiza?

Sprite: Too many nosey questions. Goodbye!

Now high and above the author, the sprite flicks his wings hard and launches in a random direction, a blue stream of particles following him.

The author uses his hand to cover his eyebrows and shield his eyes from the sun. His gaze follows the trail of blue from the sprite until it dissipates into nothing.

The author faces the camera.

Author: Well, that was rather disappointing. I guess he prefers to be by himself and do his own thing. At least unless something edible is concerned.

Author: Tune in next time for when we interview Brynhilde. Oh the humanity of it all.