I spawned back at the usual place, and had to act fast. I first tongue-fucked Hilda's mouth as fast as possible, then pointed at Leh'hah. "Ignore him, follow me," I said, then started sprinting.

A glance backwards confirmed Rose and Hilda running along with me while Leh'hah stood rooted in place, mouth hanging open in surprise. I could hardly blame him. From an outside perspective, I had just spazzed the fuck out and then sprinted away, with absolutely no explanation.

"Explanation?" Rose asked calmly, in-between breaths. She was keeping up fine thanks to her fit body and reasonably-sized bust, but Hilda was already gasping for air while her enormous melons bounced up and down in what looked like an extremely uncomfortable affair. Hopefully she would survive.

"Code: Frosty Bitch. Things are about to go bad and we have to act fast. The princess is going to be poisoned at lunch in like thirty minutes or something from now. We need to get an ally then rush to the palace."

"I see," Rose replied. "You are not giving me much time to sort out the flood of heartwarming memories and your abrupt, scandalous makeout session with Hilda."

Apparently it bothered her just enough to actually spitefully mention it in conversation, however subtle that spite may have been. "Sorry, I don't like the time pressure either. I'm pretty sure any stalling at all will fuck us over."

"And you still had time for a kiss?"

I waved a hand. "Time shit. It's complicated. Details and sacred oaths pile up real fast in these things."

"What, gasp, the hell, wheeze, is going on?" Hilda choked out in between gasps for air. Unlike Rose, she didn't have memories of past love burned into her very soul. Maybe that was because she wasn't a game-approved royal companion and didn't have a soul bond with me or whatever.

"It'll all make sense soon," I said, and with that we reached Dak'muc's Magic Emporium. "Wait here," I said, then rushed up the stairs. Probably for the best if they didn't hear what happened next.

I reached the top and scanned the room. Dak'muc was behind the counter just like always. Good.

"Dakka!" I shouted. She turned my way. "Come with me if you want to get fucked!" I made a circle with my left hand and vigorously poked my right finger through it, then dashed back down the stairs. She would either come or she wouldn't. No time to wait or talk things over.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, I saw Rose frowning and Hilda leaning over with her hands on her knees, gasping heavily.

"I heard that," Rose said.

"No time to explain! It's complicated. We need to get to the palace. C'mon!"

With that, we were off again, Hilda looking miserable. It wasn't long before Dakka caught up, running as fast as I would expect from an assassin.

"Explain yourself," she said with a hint of violence in her tone.

"I concur," Rose said.

"I'm going to stop Bah'loh'kah's assassination attempt and I want you to vouch for me when I call him out before Princess Soh'fia eats any poisoned food."

"Why the hell would I ever do that, human? I have a lot riding on this."

I gave her an exasperated look. A sort of "bitch please" look. A sort of "we both know why, don't make me say it" look.

She scowled. "Curse you humans and your cruel blackmail. You leave me no choice but to obey... for now. Mark my words, you will rue the day you ever sought to bend a highly trained dark elf as'ass to your will. We do not forget, and we do not forgive."

I rolled my eyes. Did she actually think she was saving any face by doing that?

"I do not follow," Rose said. "What blackmail? As far as I heard—"

"Don't question it," I said. "We have her valued assistance. Let's not push our luck." (Really, I just didn't want to talk about it.)

"WHEEZE! GASP! WHEEZE!" agreed Hilda from behind us. Or, I presumed she was agreeing, at least. It was hard to tell amid all the gasping for air. If you couldn't understand what someone was saying, just assume they were agreeing with you and keep going.

"In any case," Rose continued. Her voice was remarkably calm considering we had been actually sprinting for like five, ten solid minutes by now. "What are the details? What are we doing once we arrive at the palace?"

"Honestly, this is my first time doing this, so I've mostly been planning to wing it. The front entrance isn't heavily guarded or anything, they let most anyone who comes by in to reflect how peaceful the city is and everything, so it's mainly just a question of bursting through the doors to the dining hall unscathed and then getting a word in edgeways. Uh.. Dakka."

"Yes?" She scowled. Had to keep up appearances.

"I'm thinking I'm going to—" I began, only to hear a crash behind us. I turned and saw that Hilda had faceplanted onto the ground. My first thought was keep running, there's no time, but that was fucked up. No one would be left behind here. I grinded to a halt, spun around, and picked up Hilda in a princess carry before turning around and running again. She wrapped her arms around neck and stared up at me as I ran. She was surprising heavy; even with my reasonably muscular arms, she was thick enough to be significantly more weighty than a feather. The struggle of being an unhealthy NEET, I supposed. It was a miracle so much of the fat went to her tits and ass specifically.

I caught up to the others, who had only slowed down their pace, rather than stop completely. Smart. "Okay, anyway, I'm going to—Mmrggh?!" I was interrupted by Hilda pulling her face up to kiss me. There really wasn't anywhere I could go or any way for me to reasonably stop her without violence, so I had to just let her keep going until she was content. Eventually, after she had her fill of sucking on my tongue, she let her head drop back down with a dreamy smile.

Rose shook her head. Dakka scowled.

With that, we reached the palace. We slowed down our running to not look suspicious, and I set Hilda down. We strolled through the gate leading to the entry tree, then sped back up to a jog while climbing the stairs. Once in the palace I directed everyone to the dining hall, which I had gleaned the location of through all too many loops. Finally, it was showtime. Two guards were on either side of the door, but Dakka all but wove between them like water, chopping their necks. Wow. The way was clear.

Without wasting a second, I threw open the doors. This was it. The big moment.

"PRINCESS SOH'FIA! DON'T EAT ANYTHING!" I roared at the top of my lungs, and quickly scanned the area. It was a huge dining hall, just as I remembered, a large rectangular room with a circular table in the middle. Soh'fia sat at the backmost chair, a larger one than the others, and the three councilmen sat around the rest of the table in a circle. She had a spoon in the air and was balking my direction, while the councilmen turned to stare in my direction. The soldiers lining the hall had all frozen in surprise, which would normally be unforgivable for guardian knights, but in their defense I had definitely just spoken something that would seemingly be saving their charge's life.

"Wh-Wh-Wh... What is the meaning of this!" demanded Bah'loh'kah, slamming his hands onto the table. "Guards! Arrest these interlopers!"

"I do not mind what happens to me, but let me first communicate the danger to Princess Soh'fia. The food has been poisoned by none other than Councilman Bah'loh'kah. If you take a bite, you will die later tonight."

"Preposterous!" Bah'loh'kah roared. "Princess, pay no mind to this foul human's lies."

"Hmph!" Soh'fia said, tilting her head up and setting the spoon down. Thank God the heroes always arrived just in time. "Human, I imagine you have evidence of these claims?"

"My lady, you do not need to listen to what thi—" Bah'loh'kah began, but Soh'fia silenced him with a whip of her hands.

"Be quiet! I am speaking to the human. Let him answer."

I had her attention. With that, I strode forward to speak to her directly along with the others; guards stepped forward, but Soh'fia stopped them with a raised hand. I knew it had been safe to count on her lust to let me approach.

"Your highness," I said, kneeling by her side and taking her hand. I quickly said some chants, sending Fireballs, Darkness Balls, and levitating spoons spinning above my head. "Though it is a stature far above my humble nature, I have the honor of being the Heir of the World. The Goddess herself sent me to save you, and so I have come. She warned of this evil plot to have you killed, and named me your champion, such that you might be saved."

"H-Hmph! I see!" Soh'fia said, sniffing dismissively. Then sniffing again. Ah, there we go. That's the Soh'fia I love. "I must take your claims seriously, then, regardless of the fact you are but a human."

"M-My lady!" Bah'loh'kah protested. "This is clearly all lies, deception to fool you into..."

"It is all true!" Dak'muc declared, stepping forward. "Bah'loh'kah used vile blackmail to try to entrap me into assassinating Princess Soh'fia, and in my horror immediately sought out ways to foil his plot before it could come to fruition. It is by the grace of the Goddess that I found the Heir of the World in time. If you will accompany to my humble abode, I have some correspondence and evidence that will point to his wrongdoing," she said, and at that the dark elf councilman frowned. No doubt gears were turning in his head as he put together Bah'loh'kah's attempt to frame the dark elves for murder.

Soh'fia, finally, gave a weak frown. "Bah'loh'kah? Is this... Is this really true? You wanted me dead?" she asked, voice trembling. He really had been like a grandfather to her.

Bah'loh'kah froze in place, the grimace on his face. Palpable seconds passed as he remained silent. Honestly, Dakka was probably bullshitting about having evidence, but everyone in this room had been alerted that someone who was probably the Heir was coming, and when the fucking Heir of the world accuses someone of assassination with backup from a local with supposed evidence, things weren't going very well in your favor. Not to mention the food could be tested for poison in a bit to back our claims up.

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Ultimately, it was his pent-up anger that led to him exploding and sealing his defeat.

"FINE! Yes! It was me! I wanted you dead, Soh'fia!"

"But... But why?" she asked, tears welling her eyes.

"Because I could stand your obsession with humans no longer! I could hardly ever visit your room without your attendant asking me to wait a moment as you 'made yourself modest,' by which they meant give you time to stop pleasuring yourself like a whore to thoughts of a human coming to visit you! The only joy in my life for the past ten years has been when I finally managed to burn your hidden collection of human portraits and storybooks! If you had become queen, the Elven race would have ended! We would have become filthy crossbreeders by the end of the decade! You would have guided us into a depraved era of species-mixing and wanton sexuality! I would rather die than let that happen!"

The air froze and time seemed to stop.

I winced on the inside. In some stories, there was always that awkward moment where it just hit that... that an antagonist had motivations better than the protagonist's. They were just flat-out in the right. Their beliefs were hard to find fault in, and all signs pointed to the protagonist being in the wrong, not them. It was always an awkward moment, and that was how I felt now. Bah'loh'kah, for all his species-ism and villainous ways, really had Soh'fia pinned down to a T. If I was in his position, surrounded by slutty high elves who wanted to fuck humans a lot more than they wanted to exterminate them, I probably would have lost my mind too. Was he a good guy? No. Did he have more ground to stand on than me in this situation? Honestly, yes.

I'm sorry, sweet Bah'loh'kah. Fate and circumstance worked against you here. In another world, you would be a hero. Albeit a species-ist one.

"Wh-Wh-Wh," stammered Soh'fia, barely even able to speak. Her cheeks were going bright red, and she shakily turned her head my way. "Th-That's not, it's not, he's just, it's not..."

"To think he would cover for his misdeeds by slandering the princess!" I declared, faux-aghast. "This villain's evil knows no bounds. Guards! Arrest this man!"

"Hah! Soh'fia is not even the queen yet, and already a human man is ordering elves around! This is the future that awaits you lot now!" Bah'loh'kah spat. He then muttered some words, and pointed a finger in the air. A beam of light shot up and through the ceiling.

Instantly, the room was filled with monsters: orcs, normal-sized trolls, goblins, and even what looked like kobolds.

"Blast!" Rose cursed with a yell. "The Excursed is providing him with support somehow!"

The... The Excursed? That sounded familiar... Wait, fuck! That was the legendary god-tier summoner or whatever that was stirring shit at the border! The world-ender! The bringer of legions! How could I forget? The Excursed, or whoever it was behind all the summoning, was basically Satan of this world at the moment. The elf city was so idyllic I had completely forgotten they existed at all.

"He lowered the mana shield!" shouted the dark elf councilman, standing abruptly out of his chair. "Nye'wah, go summon reinforcements! Everyone else, to arms! Protect the princess!"

The room devolved into bloody chaos in an instant. A rogue soldier pierced Bah'loh'kah with a spear, some other soldiers got jumped by orcs, one had their helmet caved in with a swing of a troll's club, and overall, shit was going down. My priority, though, was Soh'fia's safety and Soh'fia's safety alone... er, and Rose's, actually. They were equally important. And Hilda. Wait, fuck. That was a lot of people to protect.

I glanced around. Rose was effortlessly dodging swings and the like while slaughtering orcs. OK. She was fine.

I looked for Hilda. She had caught her breath and was a storm of blackness, shooting out Miasmas and Darkness Balls while Shadow Stitching enemies to the ground. OK. She was fine.

That left Soh'fia. I grabbed her waist and tossed her over my shoulder, face down, then ran out the door. Nowhere safer to go than out.

The hallway seemed clear, but I kept running anyway, to be safe. Soh'fia pounded on my back angrily, landing ineffectual blows that didn't hurt in the least. "Unhand me, cur! Let me down this instant!"

"Sorry, but this is for your sake. Gotta get you somewhere safe, your highness."

"I do not need the help of a lowly human! I am a high elf and I can handle myself!"

I really had to admire how she could say that with a straight face after everyone heard what Bah'loh'kah said. If the elves were masters of anything, it was undoubtedly denial. The biggest mystery to me was what was going on in their heads; was it just complete and utter doublethink, or was this all a high-level mind game to them? Truly a mystery!

"I said let me go!" Soh'fia yelled with a sniff. Then another sniff.

Oh shit. At this rate, she was going to get high off my smell and probably get herself killed in some crazy plot to get in my pants during a literal invasion. I had to think fast.

I hurriedly set her down. "As you wish, your highness."

She gave me a reproachful look, one that made it impossible to tell whether she was annoyed I had actually set her down, or annoyed I had picked her up at all. She was a master of slut option selects.

Ultimately, she swung her head to the side with a frown. "Follow me. The chapel is probably the safest place to be right now. It has anti-magic wards."

"Lead the way," I said, and off she went. I followed to the side of her; I didn't actually remember where the chapel was, exactly. I seemed to recall it being where elvish queens communed with the tree to speak with the Goddess.

We were jogging rather than walking; the clamor of the battle was already far behind us, but the situation was tense, with the Excursed still interfering somehow and Bah'loh'kah having who knows how many traps lying around

"So," she eventually said, as we jogged. "The Heir is a human. And the Goddess herself told you to come save me."

"Yep," I replied. "Remember the prophecy? You're one of the chosen. We're bound by fate."

Soh'fia missed a step, but caught herself. "Yuck. To think I'd be stuck bound to a smelly human. This day just keeps getting worse, somehow." She glanced at me. "This sucks."

"Sorry to disappoint, your highness," I said. In a way, I knew she was just blustering to cover how devastating Bah'loh'kah's betrayal had been. No doubt tears were welling up inside of her, and insults were the only way she could keep them from pouring out.

"You better make up for it by actually protecting me."

"Of course," I said, sweating a bit at the thought of her ten or so deaths up to this point. "With my life." Technically true.

"Really? With your life?" she asked, glancing at me.

"Yeah. I'd die for your sake, absolutely," I replied. After all, if she died, I was as good as dead. When the chips were down, it was better to die trying to protect her than to let her die and have to loop anyway.

"Hmph! Well, you've the right idea, at least. Hmph." She fell silent.

We reached the chapel quickly, with only a few flights of stairs and hallways to go through. She threw the doors open and stepped inside. I followed. It was a massive hall with a green rug leading from the entrance to the altar at the back, dotted by thick pillars on either side of it. The altar itself was an ornate table backed by an enormous treesung statue of who I presumed to be the Goddess. It was a generic statue without much detail in the wood, though.

Instantly, the door behind us slammed shut. "Eep!" Soh'fia shrieked. I whirled around, then looked back at the altar—there were now ten suits of armors there, purple and wielding large swords. O fuck. Demons in full plate? Living Armor, maybe? Either way, the Excursed had obviously summoned them. Aaand this seemed bad. They looked strong. A lot stronger than the orcs had been. Did I just... Did I just walk into a trap?

I looked at Soh'fia. "Anti-magic wards?"

"Um..." She faltered. "Bah'loh'kah must have removed them?" She looked away, avoiding eye contact.

I sighed. "Well, I didn't expect to make good on the promise so soon, but here I go." I unsheathed my sword—the same, mostly unremarkable one I had grabbed during the border skirmish—and stepped forward. I vowed to spend a solid month or something grinding levels and accumulating equipment before going to the next phase of my quest. This elf business had been nothing but pain and mysteries with barely any stat growth. I hadn't even fucking leveled up since I had killed exactly zero monsters since coming to the city. What a nightmare.

I did, however, have a higher One-Handed Blades and Dodging skill from essentially sparring with Dakka so much. That would have to do.

I leapt at the right-most armored thing first and slashed. It parried, but it moved slowy; if this was a one on one, I would have won then and there, but there were ten of them. The two nearest to it on the left thrust my way instantly. I dodged back and ventured a thrust of my own, hoping to pierce a gap in the suit of armor, but it got battered aside by one of the three swords in front of me. Fuck. This was going to be hard.

I glanced to my left while doing some perfunctory slashes and blocks. The other seven armors were walking this way, perhaps incapable of running. It was lucky for me that none were going after Soh'fia, who had stayed back and was trying to get the door open while repeatedly glancing back this way. I had to assume they were brainless automatons and just went for the nearest enemy. That would make sense.

After a second, I managed to get a good slash on one of the armors. Its helmet came flying off, revealing empty space and a lack of a head. On the one hand, that confirmed the Living Armor theory, but on the other hand, I was pretty sure a basic broadsword was far from the most effective weapon to be using against unliving suits of armor.

The fight quickly devolved into mayhem. I was blasting out Fireballs to some, Shadow Stitching others to circle around their backs, blasting some with Rock Shots, and using Reverse to make some hit each other. It was the best I could do, but it wasn't quite enough; some had their gauntlets knocked off, and others ended up helmetless, but they kept coming, and they were landing some blows. A cut to my arm. A pommel strike to my side. Small hits, due to me fighting defensively and having pretty good dodging, but they were adding up.

By the time I managed to real-deal kill a few, I was panting and a bit bloody. Things weren't looking so hot, but I wasn't about to give up, regardless of how bad the odds seemed. The remaining seven were bearing down on me fast, but I could handle them... until the dead three were re-summoned, that is. It was back to ten, and I was clearly fucked. I didn't even think being max level would necessarily help with an infinite string of enemies. Damn you, Excursed.

"NO!" came a shriek. I glanced towards the source of the sound and saw Soh'fia looking my way with tearful eyes. She was at the altar of the chapel, now, fairly close but not too close since I was backed up to a wall. "DON'T DIE!" she cried again, and she started glowing, so bright a beam of light shot up her towards the ceiling of the chapel. Uh... What?

Soh'fia was absolutely losing it. Her blonde hair turned green, and it looked like a trance was overcoming her. She began to sing a bewitching song, a melody that seemed to draw all my attention to it, and with a flourish of her hand a branch shot out of the wooden statue of the goddess's hands, piercing one of the Living Armors. It kept going, piercing six more, devastating their numbers.

I blinked in surprise. They weren't being re-summoned, either. Well, that made things easier. When did she learn to treesing? And didn't she need to touch the wood to treesing or something?

Soh'fia was still floating in the air, but she had stopped singing, and now seemed to be meditating. There were three living armors left. I mustered up the last of my strength and did the best attack I could: dash forward, hard slash down. One dead. Hard slash to the right, then stomping on its corpse hard. Two dead. Throwing my MP into a massive Darkness Ball, then blasting it at the last one with a thrust of my sword. It survived and swung at me, but I sidestepped and slashed it down. Last one dead.

Level Up! All Attributes Increased!

Finally, a single friggin' level up.

Just then, the door to the chapel burst open and the elves from the dining hall came pouring in, the two surviving coucilmen with them. For a second I wondered how they had found us, but Hilda's visible Soul Spy screen made that obvious.

"The princess!" yelled the tree elf councilman. "She is not only speaking to the Goddess, but serving as a vessel for the Goddess's presence!"

Wow, I almost missed that.

I looked up at Soh'fia. She opened her eyes. They were pure white, and her green hair was floating beside her. "My children," she said, her voice like angels singing while playing the most beautiful harps in the world. "I am the Goddess."

Everyone knelt at once, except me, because I was an asshole and mostly just confused at what was going on.

"I visit the mortal realm for the first time in a millennia to announce the coming of my champion, the Heir of the World. The man standing before you, Malcador the Hero, is the true Heir of the World."

A stir ran through the elves; awed whispers and stunned looks were sent my way.

She turned to look at me, her piercing white eyes seemingly seeing right through me. "Malcador, I await you atop Dragonmount. On the day that you Unite the Five and bring them unto me, I shall grant you a wish, for my own wish will have been granted. Remember this quest, and remember your destiny."

"As you wish," I said with a bow.

She smiled, and then closed her eyes. The glow began to leave Soh'fia. Her hair turned back to its original golden yellow color, and she fell to the ground. I dashed forward to catch her in my arms, making it just in time.

Soh'fia weakly opened her eyes and looked up at me. "Did we make it?"

"Yeah. We're okay."

"You saved me."

"I think we both saved each other there, really."

"Mm." She smiled.

"Want to go save the world together?"

"Yes."

Companion Unlocked! Princess Soh'fia of Koh'rin, Heir Apparent of the Elvish Throne, has joined your party!

Two down, three to go.

Hopefully the next one won't be shrouded in mysteries and court drama.

End of Arc 2