When I woke up, Soh'fia was curled up beneath my covers again.

There were many questions I had. First, when did she even manage to slip in? I had been awake late into the night. Did she just camp outside my door with her ear pressed against it, waiting for me to fall asleep? Had Dakka passed her by with a silent nod, both of them understanding on a deep elf level what was going on, and promising to say nothing more of it? Second, how was the smell bearable? The dryness of the sheets indicated they had been changed while I was KO'd the fuck out, but still. Surely her hyper-sensitive druid nose or whatever could tell something was amiss.

Eh, who cares. I did the same thing as last time, tickling under her smooth arm, and once again she gave me an impassive look before leaving silently, her half-translucent babydoll dress hugging her bubble butt due to the sweat she had worked up under the covers. It seemed she was determined to pretend this was not happening despite both of us knowing full well it was. Elves truly were masters of doublethink. I guess this is my life now.

I got out of bed and went through the same routine as yesterday, but faster, and then jogged to the dining hall. When I got in, only Rose was there. She waved a hand.

"You're here early."

"Yeah, funny. I guess I'm just that hungry."

"After your mysterious accident yesterday that left you unconscious for the entire day, that is?"

I paused. "Yes."

"Understandable."

I sat down at my seat and waited. A few minutes later, the door burst open, and Soh'fia (now wearing her normal green blouse and skirt) charged in, panting heavily from all her running. She saw me, straightened her back, and calmly walked to her seat.

"You skipped your magic lessons," she said with a scowl upon sitting down.

"Yeah, sorry. I actually do feel bad about that. I got, uh... Actually, what do you know about what happened yesterday?"

Soh'fia frowned. "Hilda was vague on the details. She said some Cursed spell went off without her meaning to and hurt your soul. That's no excuse for breaking a promise, though. Not that I would ever expect a lowly human to keep to his word."

"Sorry, sorry. Really. We can have the lesson this morning after breakfast if you're still free."

Her pointy ears perked up. "Ugh. I'm obviously not free, since I'm a princess with a lot of work to do, but I can squeeze you in for just a little bit. Be grateful. I don't have to do this, you know."

"I'm honored."

"Hmph." She sniffed. "You better be."

There was a pause.

"So," Rose said. "An accidental Curse Magic discharge, hm?"

"You'll have to ask Hilda for details. I was unconscious, you see."

"What kind of Cursed spell creates an explosion of liquid that necessitates new sheets?" she asked. Soh'fia stayed silent, but was carefully eyeing me as well.

"You'll have to ask Hilda for details. I was unconscious, you see."

"Considering how your life was technically in danger, Hilda seemed quite pleased about the incident. That seems strange."

"You'll have to ask Hilda for details. I was unconscious, you see."

Rose bridged her fingers and leaned forward. "Do recall that I tend to ask questions I know the answer to." Translation: "I'm not an idiot, I can guess what happened, just say it so we can move on."

"W-We, uh..." I faltered. Silence. Rose continued giving me a silent look while Soh'fia scowled. I was less afraid of admitting it and more just terrified of what might happen next. It was impossible for me to gauge how either of these women would react.

Thankfully, I was saved by the door to the dining hall opening. Our final member was here. Thank god. I turned to say hello, and...

Hilda was wearing something completely different from usual. Gone was her ill-fitting black robe; she now wore a tight-fitting, open-top dress which hugged her body from chest to bottom. It looped around her neck to provide a black, spiky collar, and seemed to me made of some kind of hard chitinous material rather than silk, which meant the cup of her dress stayed firm even as her boobs jiggled while she walked. The pale white of her bare skin stood out dramatically against the pure black of her outfit. In short, imagine a villainous necromancer in a comically evil and ornate dress, and that was what Hilda was wearing. The image that first came to my mind was honestly Sexy Gruntilda from the game over screen of that one game, smirk and all.

Was... Was this the power of dick? Had I dicked the sweaty NEET out of her, completing her transforming into the villainous dark mage she was always meant to be? Was this character development?

Hilda strode to her seat and sat down calmly, head high and a small smirk on her face. She nodded to us.

Both Soh'fia and Rose were balking slightly. I couldn't blame them. As I had said many times, the ill-fitting robes both made her look chunky and completely hid her excellent curves. A simple change of clothes morphed her from looking like a misshapen meat wrapped in black to looking like a supermodel villainess that would make every man watching the cartoon pop a boner despite the context. To say nothing of the fact that the open-top proudly displayed her genuinely enormously cleavage; Rose didn't have small boobs, but they were the kind you could perfectly cup in your hands, and Soh'fia was almost completely flat, with only the barest of chest bumps. Meanwhile, you would want a wheelbarrow for each of Hilda's boobs.

"I thought I would need an outfit with better defense moving forward," Hilda said smugly. Soh'fia in particular was trembling with her eyes locked on Hilda's chest. Poor thing. A silent battle had been fought here, and Hilda knew full well that she had destroyed the competition before they ever had a chance. Rose, for her part, had quickly recovered and was back to looking impassive. She had not lost this battle. Size wasn't all that mattered. But on the inside, she was no doubt mourning the swift and brutal defeat her ally in Soh'fia had suffered. No doubt she would provide a shoulder to cry on, and perhaps some words of encouragement for the young elf. Maybe they would work out a diet of calcium and meat to prepare for Soh'fia's upcoming queenship. Either way, Rose would be providing support, but not companionship in defeat; her true battle was yet to be fought.

It was then that Hilda turned to me and winked. "See you tonight," she said, with all the self-assuredness of someone who tasted victory once and now thought that every obstacle would fall before their feat.

"No," I said, then pointed at her. "I nearly died. If we do that again, it will be incredibly painful."

"B-But..." She balked. "But you're a big guy!"

"For you. Look, I don't know what the fuck happened there, but I'm pretty sure you can't control it, and I literally felt the pain of my soul being sucked out real-time. I woke up feeling half-dead, and that was after an entire day of being unconscious, mind you. I'm not going through with that again. I might actually die this time."

"I-I can control it! Maybe. Probably!" Hilda protested. "We just need to practice more. Please?"

"No. We can, uh... We can continue the discussion from yesterday once you can control your Cursed magic properly."

"If I may interject for a moment," Rose said. "I believe what you are describing is the Master-level Cursed spell known as Soul Suck. If completed, it will indeed completely drain one of their soul and kill them. I imagine Hilda managed to cancel the spell after it had only sucked out a chunk of your soul, which allowed your soul to then repair itself over time, hence the temporary coma. It is an exceedingly dangerous spell and I recommend that you never do what caused it to happen in the first place again."

Hilda snarled at Rose. "Oh, how convenient that you would say that."

Rose lifted an eyebrow. "Am I wrong? I was not in the room and can say nothing about what led to the spell being activated, only that it is best not to be repeated, unless you want to kill Malcador."

"Mal, say something. Tell her she's wrong."

I threw my hands up. "She seems pretty right to me. Sorry, but until you can reliably control it, it's not... it's not happening again."

Hilda's jaw dropped in a horrified open-mouthed frown, a look of such abject disbelief and terror that I felt a pang of sympathy. Unfortunately for her, I didn't want to die, even if her sucking my soul out of my dick with her vagina was objectively a hilarious way to go.

Breakfast was served while darkness exuded from Hilda like a shadowy tentacle monster slapping away at the light. Rose and Soh'fia seemed vaguely pleased, if only because there was a primal joy to seeing someone smug getting knocked down a peg. For my part, I just hoped the muttering wasn't the incantation to some massive Cursed spell that would end all life on the planet.

We did luckily have meat this time, at Soh'fia's direct request before we started. It seemed they had all manners of meals prepared just in case, with all extra being distributed to the knights and attendants. It was nice and tasty, though I didn't really have much to say about it. I wasn't really much of a food guy. Back on Earth I had been all about meal-replacement drinks, since I lacked the energy to put any effort into making my own food whatsoever. Looking back, that was a clear metaphor for having given up on life and appreciating the small things before me, but at the time it was hard to notice these things while chugging Soylent or whatever.

Anyway, once we were done eating, Soh'fia stood up abruptly and pointed at me. "Magic lessons. Now. In my room. Come," she said, then began striding off. Apparently she didn't want to give me the chance to wiggle out of this again. Not that I minded; learning Natural magic seemed reasonably valuable.

I waved goodbye to Rose and Hilda. Rose nodded, and Hilda didn't even look this way. It seemed like she was having an out-of-body experience. She hadn't even eaten a single bite.

I caught up to Soh'fia as she briskly strode down the hall. She faced directly forward and didn't look at me.

"So. I hear you learn magic very quickly," she eventually said.

"Yeah. If you just say the chant and demonstrate the spells, I'll learn them in an instant. This should only really take like ten or twenty minutes."

She frowned. "Hmm. As your teacher, I'll be the judge of that."

I paused.

FUCK.

I shouldn't have said that. I should have just tricked her into demonstrating all the spells she knew, and only then revealed I had them all mastered. Now she was going to cockblock me for as long as possible. "One spell a day," she'll say. "We need to take our time," she'll say. Why had I not thought more carefully before I spoke? How many weeks, nay, months would it take for me to learn Natural magic now? I resolved to just get Dakka to introduce me to the tree elf chained in her basement. It would be a nice breather from everything that had been going on.

Upon reaching Soh'fia's room, we sat at the same table as before, and were served the same tea as before. It honestly brought back a slew of bad memories of having to listen to Soh'fia rant and be pouty for hours every loop before Dakka came to give me sweet relief. On the other hand, the tea was pretty nice.

"I have a lesson plan worked out," Soh'fia said. "I will teach you one new spell a week, and we will spend the rest of the week practicing it. Every day."

FUCK.

"That really won't be necessary. I just need to hear it once."

She sniffed. "Just because you're the chosen one doesn't mean you can skip the fundamentals of magic. It's supposed to take years to learn these spells. A week is already way too generous. My own Natural professor would be horrified to learn I am giving you this much leeway to begin with."

"Can you introduce me to that Natural professor so I can learn from a professional?"

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"No."

"Can you introduce me to any other user of Natural magic?"

"No."

I sighed. "Okay. Let's get started then."

"Good." She nodded curtly. "We'll start with the most basic of Natural spells, Create Water."

"Isn't that the same as Elemental magic's Waterball and stuff?"

"No." She sniffed. "Leave it to humans to not understand basic magic theory. Surely you have experimented with Waterball and know the water fades away to nothing in seconds once the attack is done."

"Ah, so Create Water actually creates permanent, real water?"

"Yes. It's drinkable, too. Once you master it you will be able to create tubs of water to drink and bathe in at will."

"Nice. That'll make adventuring a lot easier."

Soh'fia scoffed. "Every major city has a Mystic-made teleport circle, dummy. I doubt you'll be going on any more roadtrips unless you want to visit some random country village for some reason."

"But... But my roadtrips," I said lamely. I liked road trips. I remembered what it was like sleeping beneath the stars, sparring with Rose, having a comfy tent... I had been looking forward to experiencing that again on the way to the dwarf hold. Leaving this elf city would be like a breath of fresh air.

"How dumb can you be? Dwarf holds are like super deep into the ground, you know. Some of them even close up their surface entrances. You have to teleport in, if they'll even let you."

"Uhhh... What? How does that even work?" I asked. Suddenly, I was struck by an ancient question; a question so profound and deeply insightful that one could say entire worlds were judged by whether the question had an answer or not. "What do they eat?"

Soh'fia balked. "Seriously, how do you not know this? Do we need to change this from Nature Magic lessons to 'Soh'fia teaches Malcador basic facts about the world' lessons?"

"It's not my fault. Rose didn't want to overwhelm me with information I would immediately forget."

"Would you have forgotten?"

"Yes."

"Then it's your fault. Dwarves are made of rocks, okay? You can infer the rest. Let's get back on topic."

"Wait, dwarves are made o—"

"Back on topic! Create Water. I'm going to do the spell, then you try to do it. We'll repeat until you can do it, and if you can't, we'll continue tomorrow." She sniffed. "I hope you learn it fast. Your human stink is already filling the room. Unbearable." She sniffed again, a bit deeper. "Now watch. Mizu tsukuru," she chanted, and her cupped hands filled with water. She drank it to demonstrate, then looked at me. "Now you try."

"Behold," I replied. "Mizu tsukuru." The water appeared in midair and splashed down onto my pants. Whoops.

Natural Arcana Unlocked! Natural Level 1!

Soh'fia's eyes widened. "Wow, that really was fast. Ummmm..." she fell silent, as if planning how to reasonably keep me practicing this same spell for a week. She looked down at my pants. "Look at this mess. You don't have the proper form at all. As I thought, you'll need to practice for at least a week until you truly master the spell and its execution."

"It's not that big of a deal. I'll get it right second try. And actually..." Suddenly, it occurred to me that this was the perfect opportunity to try out something I had been wanting to do.

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"You're right, this is a mess. Let me get these pants off before I try again."

"Wha-" Soh'fia began, but I had already pushed my chair back, pulled off my pants (plus underwear), and sat back down with my legs firmly spread. This was no doubt the kind of move only a muscular non-virgin chad could pull off. Some quick thoughts to Rose naked in the pond and my time with Hilda last night got my dick rapidly hardening.

"Wh-What do you think you're doing?!" Soh'fia exclaimed, standing up abruptly and pounding a fist on the table. "You boorish cur! I can't believe you would strip your pants in front of a princess!" She sniffed. "Unbelievable. You humans really only ever think of violence and sex. With a princess!" She leaned forward over the table a bit and sniffed harder. "It's a thousand years too early for you to even think of doing something like this. I could summon my guards and you would be run through with spears in an instant." She walked around the table to me, sniffing furiously, her small nose twitching non-stop. "Now your human stink is filling the whole room. I'm going to have to air out this place for days before I can sleep here again. Terrible. Unbelievable. Stinky, smelly humans. Awful." She fell to her knees in front of me, as if she wasn't even aware of what she was doing. "Stinky, stinky... Humans..." She brought her nose right up to my dick, still sniffing furiously, and her idle hand started digging under her skirt. "Unbelievable... I'm a princess... Stupid human..."

The light faded from her eyes, and soon enough she was actively pressing her nose against my dick, sniffing deeply with direct contact. Her outward breaths tickled by dick with their warmth, and precum started to leak from my tip. This did nothing to stop her, and in fact, she started inhaling even harder. She was snorting my precum right into her nose, and shivering each time, as if the sensation was giving her mini-orgasms. Sniff, sniff, sniiiff. She was pressing her nose against my dick so hard it was honestly starting to hurt just a bit, and her idle hand could hardly be described as idle any more; her soaking wet panties hit the ground with a wet slap, and her hand was thrusting furiously in no time. Sniiiiff.

It was a pretty comical sight to see her completely drop the act and just press snort my dick with a dumb look in her eyes and a loosely hanging mouth. I got the impression she wasn't even thinking any more; she was acting on pure elf instincts, her uber-enhanced sense of smell completely betraying her. The one downside was that she was so addicted to the smell she wasn't making any further moves. I decided to encourage her in the simplest way possible. I twisted my hips, pulled my dick to the side with a finger, and let it slap her cheek fairly hard.

Love Point Gained! Soh'fia +1

.........

It took all I had to not just flat-out leave the room then and there.

What the fuck? To my understanding, a love point being gained indicated a moment so emotionally powerful that it was literally seared onto one's soul. It became a part of someone down to their very being, lasting forever through time and space. Even Rose, the ice queen of snark, flushed and stammered a bit when describing the warmth she felt when recalling these soul-seared moments that remained firmly present in her mind even after time itself looped back. They were, as far as I could tell, truly foundational moments that filled one with happiness and warmth just by thinking about them.

And somehow, to Soh'fia, being slapped on the cheek with my dick was worthy of such an honor.

It boggled the mind. No matter how much I looped now, this moment would be burned in Soh'fia memory forever. I could slit my own throat (which I kind of wanted to now) and the next day she would be blushing with love-struck eyes about this moment. This was my punishment for teasing an elf. This was my punishment for testing what would happen if I simply removed my pants in the presence of an elf. The Goddess was watching and she was pissed at my flagrant disrespect for the elven race. I had lost faith in their purity, and now I was paying the price.

Oh well.

The light returned to Soh'fia's eyes a bit, and she looked up at me. We had brief eye contact, but then she looked back down at my dick and opened her mouth. Her long elf tongue slithered out and licked my dick from bottom to top, with her shuddering from apparent delight. They say that about 80% of one's sense of taste actually comes from smell, so her enhanced senses were doing a double-whammy here. Thinking about it, she hadn't reacted like this at all while eating food made for literal royalty at breakfast, so... was human dick just the literal highest delicacy possible for elvish women?

My thoughts were interrupted by her clamping her wet mouth around my dick, which called to mind how she was still finger-pounding her wet pussy. Her two holes seemed equally wet, and she ran her tongue all around my dick as if to ensure she touched every square inch of raw dick to enjoy as much of the raw taste as she could. It felt almost indescribable, like her tongue was a slimy snake coiling around my dick and rapidly slithering around. I had never used an onahole or anything, but that was the only way I could describe her mouth. It felt built for this. Perfect for it.

After minutes of furious licking and intense sucking, halted only for deep inhalations through the nose, Soh'fia's eyes rolled to the back of her head. She shuddered hard, and I heard what sounded like a water gun being shot against the ground. I looked over and realized she was squirting so hard in orgasm just from sucking my dick that it was like an actual water gun shooting out of her. What the fuck.

At least it's over now, I foolishly thought. Oh, what a fool I was.

She stopped shuddering and the stream dried down to just rapidly falling droplets, but her eyes remained rolled to the back of her head. She let out some kind of beastly groan, then started rapidly slamming her head back and forth like she was some kind of metalhead. Now, to be clear, Soh'fia was a smaller girl. A grown elf, of course, coming-of-age ceremony and everything, fully eighteen, but she still had some growing left in her, much like we humans kept growing for a while, on top of some of us being smaller than others. Thus, her head and mouth were not quite large enough to contain the full length of my dick. She was pounding her head hard, so hard that her lower lip touched my balls with each pound, and that meant my dick had nowhere to go but down her throat. She was face-pounding my dick so hard she ended up deepthroating my dick with each bob of her head. And she was only speeding up. I could feel her throat constricting around my dick with each pound, which was disconcerting as fuck. She kept groaning through my dick, and regular squirts indicated that each time my dick rammed down her throat, she was experiencing something akin to a minor orgasm, aided by how her tongue was constantly licking my shaft the entire time.

It was honestly such a beastly sight I thought she was going to actually choke to death on my dick. I tried to escape, but her lips were locked tightly around my dick, so efforts to pull back just intensified the face-pounding for her. Her mouth was like a vacuum sucking me back with more force than I could resist. The loud slurping of her loud sucking combined with the meaty thwaps of her face hitting my crotch made this whole affair feel almost violent. I knew, in an instant, that only cum would break her trance. Only filling her mouth and throat with cum would calm this unleashed beast. I had played with fire, and now I was getting burned.

Luckily for me, it was extremely easy to cum while an insane elf was deepthroating your cock while masturbating so hard one had to worry about whether fingers could drown or not.

I let the heat build up in my shaft then explode, a nuclear blast of pleasure exploding at my tip then racing down to make my entire body shudder. Soh'fia sensed it and pulled her head back, leaving her mouth wrapped exclusively around the tip of my cock head. I didn't understand the intent at first, but once the buckets of cum started spraying directly on her tongue, it all made sense. Her tongue flailed like a wacky waving inflatable tube girl, trying to get as much cum in contact with her taste buds as possible. She shuddered again, cumming from the taste of semen and perhaps the knowledge that she had brought me to orgasm. The sounds of her squirting played a symphony with my raging orgasm.

Soon, her mouth filled up with cum, and she was forced to start swallowing it en-masse to keep fresh loads arriving on her tongue. She made no attempt whatsoever to loosen the grip her lips had around my dick; opening her mouth in the slightest would let cum escape, and I got the feeling that in this moment, she would genuinely rather choke to death than let a droplet of cum escape her. A horny elf unleashed achieved such heights of idealism that we lowly humans could only fathom the barest fraction of their utter cock worship. To question why Soh'fia was choking half to death for the sake of human cock and her own pleasure was like asking a religious individual why they prayed before every meal or bothered going to church. It was just disrespectful. They did it because they believed in their faith, and it just so happened that elf women's primary brand of faith was human cock worship.

Only when my orgasm had ended and Soh'fia had sucked out every last drop of cum lingering in my urethra did she finally unlock her lips; some cum was leaking out of her nose, but she sniffed it right back up. As if by instinct, she opened her mouth wide for me and wiggled her tongue around, showing the empty cavern free of all but the barest traces of cum she had failed to swallow with the rest. Not really knowing what else to do, I stroked her hair. "Good girl."

Love Point Gained! Soh'fia +1

Milestone Reached! Infatuation has become Obsession!

The bond between your souls has strengthened even further.

Oh...

That's... troubling...

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Soh'fia sat in a pool of her own juices for a while, blinking and staring into space as she slowly recovered from the brain-shattering orgasms she had apparently experienced. For my part, I had put my pants back on and moved to the other side of the table to get away from the sickly sweet smelling cloud produced by said juices. I was also slightly afraid of what she would do or say upon coming back to her senses. You really couldn't recover from that kind of display with your dignity, and you couldn't pretend it didn't happen either. What would happen when an unstoppable rock hits an immovable object? Not anything I wanted to be near. In the meantime, I grinded up Natural magic a bit by casting Create Water. It seemed surprisingly easy to level up.

Eventually, Soh'fia staggered to her feet on shaky legs. Her head swept side to side until she saw me. We briefly maintained eye contact, until she broke it to stagger to a nearby chair across from mine.

"For the next part of your lesson," she began, "Try creating the water in your cupped hands."

I stared at her. She stared at me, then turned away. "What?" she asked with a scowl.

"You can't pretend that didn't happen."

"What didn't happen?"

I pointed at the floor. "Your soaked panties are literally still sitting on the floor amid a concerningly large pool of your juices. They're like a green boat crashing against the waves of a pussy juice ocean. It's such a terrible state of affairs it can only be described with crude metaphors that I hate myself for saying."

She followed where I was pointing and gazed upon the panties silently. She stood back up, wobbled over to the panties, picked them up (her hands and feet were already soaked anyway), opened a dresser drawer, delicately put them in, and closed the drawer again.

"You can't just hide them," I called.

"Hide what?" she asked, sitting back down. "Are you trying to procrastinate on your lessons by distracting me?"

To be honest, at some earlier point, I probably would have wanted to scream at this point. But I was used to it by now. "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." Likewise, "be emotionally disturbed by slutty elves once, shame on them, be emotionally disturbed by slutty elves for the rest of your life, shame on you." When in Rome, you eventually had to get used to doing as Romans did, or you really only had yourself to blame. I needed to get used to this or it would be my fault. You could either rage against the world and be miserable forever, or direct the rage inward until you felt rage no longer. It was the only way to survive in this bitch of a fantasy planet.

"You got me. Sorry for trying to procrastinate."

She sniffed dismissively. "Nature Magic is quite difficult for non-elves to learn, or so we know from the few who we have deigned to teach it to. I can hardly blame you for wanting to distract yourself from the challenging road ahead of you, but try not to waste my time. I'm a princess, I don't have infinite time to teach you."

"You might actually have infinite time, technically, but yeah, good point. What was next again?"

"Create water while cupping your hands and not spilling it."

I did so. It was easy, since I had done it like twenty times while waiting for her to come out of his orgasm-stupor.

"G-Good. You can, you can go for today. We'll practice the spell more tomorrow."

"Okay. Do you need anything, or...?"

She scowled. "It's a thousand years too early for you to try to worry about an elf. An elf princess, no less. If I needed anything, which I don't, I could get it myself."

"Alright. I'll just see myself out." I stood up and walked to the door. "Woooah!" I exclaimed. She shot a look my way. "Sorry, I just almost slipped in this huge pile of pussy juice that came out of seemingly nowhere. Strange. It's so warm and smells so strong. Let me just walk around... Ah shit, it's reached the wall by this point. What a mess." I glanced back at her. Her cheeks were twitching as she trembled in her seat. "Guess I'll just have to jump. I hope I don't slip and break my neck in this huge pool of mysterious elf juices." I stepped back, then did a running leap over it, narrowly managing to land on some dry space by the door. "Jesus Christ."

With that, I left.

I sure couldn't wait for lessons tomorrow.