It’d been a month and a few days, and no one’s seen my video.  Or, well, confronted me. I started watching the news. No one had committed suicide over my video.  So, I relaxed. I started to forget the video’s existence. Until Madison reminded me of it at recess that Friday, March 8.

◄◄◄

        Earlier in the week, we had to turn in a story.  A short story, specifically. Mine was 24 pages. Would’ve been fine if I hadn’t included suicide in my story.  The faculty flipped out. My teacher, Mrs. W, pulled me aside the day I turned it in—once again, a Tuesday, a different one, I think—and asked me if everything was alright.  I told her everything was. She still emailed my parents. I don’t think she didn’t believe me; it was probably just appropriate to bring that stuff to light or else she’d be fired.

        My parents found out on Thursday and wanted to know what was up (I was also set up with an appointment with a new counselor in two weeks).  So I told them about Madison. I said the short story was about her. It wasn’t. It never was. It fit in so perfectly, though, so it was worth the shot.

        I talked with Amanda about it before going through with it.

        “Your parents think you’re suicidal, you realize that right?” she asked, not really wanting an answer.

        “Well, what do you expect me to do?” I was panicking.

        “Okay, we need to make people think otherwise.”

        “We could use Madison,” I suggested.

        “Are you batshit out of your mind?” Amanda shrieked.

        “Well, it could work.  It fits in too perfectly.  It’s the perfect way to get ourselves out of the spotlight and have Madison take the heat.”

        “She doesn’t deserve it, though!” Amanda reminded me.  And she wasn’t wrong, either; Madison didn’t deserve it.

        “It doesn't matter whether or not she deserves it; I’m just trying to keep myself alive.”

        “More Get Scared references?  At a time like this?”

        It actually wasn’t intentional, but I ignored her reply.  “You gotta trust me with this.”

        Amanda paced back and forth around the bedroom before sighing.  “Alright, we’ll do it. But you’re a selfish dick.”

        And so, I did it.  I told my mom about Madison and, because she was a volunteer at the school and had to follow some protocol, she had to informed the principal.  I was fine with this as long as it was kept on the down-low.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

        My mom told me I should also tell Mrs. W about Madison.  Even if I didn’t tell her myself—because I didn't want to—, my mom or the principal would’ve. So, I told Mrs. W about Madison and that was the last person I ever told.

►►►

        Madison asked to talk with me behind the tree.  I responded as usual: a little too eager. I tried to calm myself down.  She knew about me telling my mom about her. And how I told Mrs. W about it.  And how the principal would eventually know.

        We get over to the tree with myself still trembling.  My mom had warned me about getting backlash for informing people about another one’s unhealthy—her words—habits.

        “Hey,” I start, surprising myself and her, “can I just say I’m sorry?”

        “Sure,” she replied, “but I’m not going to accept your apology.”

        Typical Scorpio response, I thought.  Warning you now: There’ll be a lot more zodiac sign comparisons.  Still, this could very easily turn around, though. All I need to do is—

        “Me and Delilah saw your videos.”

        Wait, so this isn’t about how I told Mrs. W about her habits or how my mom told the principal?  I kept my mouth shut; I’d forgotten about the suicide video until...

        “What the fuck were you thinking?  ‘Suicide is Selfish’? Enzo, what the fuck was even going through your mind?” she asked.  And there it was. Blam! Hit right in the face with questions I couldn’t answer.

        She seemed on the edge of tears, so I knew I had to be careful with my words.  But when it came to lying on the spot, I had nothing prepared.

        “I… I… was talking about it with my friend, my online friend, Jasper, and… we thought it was a good idea, an interesting topic, more like.  So, we made the video.”

        “You do realize that’s not what goes through people’s minds when they do commit suicide and self-harm, right?”

        She wasn’t entirely wrong..  To a certain extent, at least.  There was some truth in her statement, but she was trying to speak for all suicide and self-harm victims.  That’s what it felt like, at least.

        “Well, it was my opinion,” I replied, then proceeded to walk away.

        “Don’t you fucking walk away from me,” she boomed.  She didn’t really boom it, but she might as well have.  It felt like she boomed it, too. It felt… different. I mean, if I got this sort of shit from someone other than Madison, I would’ve been fine.  But for some reason, I was scared of Madison being mad at me. I was afraid to see her messed up, damaged, and almost in tears.

        I walked back, “Fine, what do you want to say?”

        “It’s just… When Delilah saw that video, she started shaking and crying,” Madison managed.  I wouldn’t be surprised if that wasn’t particularly true. I never believed it was true; I just thought Madison was trying to make me feel worse about myself knowing I’d go soft if Delilah was involved.  She knew my weakness. And it almost worked. Almost worked completely, I should say, because it did work temporarily.

        “Is there anything else you want to say to me?” Madison asked.

        I sighed, “Other than I’m sorry, no.”

        “Good, don’t talk to me again.” And she walked off.  Well, we both went our different ways. Looking back now, that’s what sent me into tears.  I thought it was because I was more worried about how Delilah felt about me.

        I ended up being wrong.