On the flight over, Glass fingered the glass flower in her pocket. She still wondered what it did. She tried to sleep, but it was difficult. For one thing, her neighbor snored. For another, her other neighbor kept sticking his feet in her foot space. Glass suspected he had a crush on her, but she wasn’t sure.

When they reached Abbotsford, she headed for the nearest hotel and set up. She’d brought her laptop and some other essentials, and soon she was snacking away, stroking her mascot.

She fell asleep late that night, having researched the area enough to know the address of Dave’s new home. He had to be warned. Glass had no doubt that Ninja would be close behind.

Only three of the forty-seven tabs led to somewhere in Canada. Ninja decided they would check all three.

“Alright, let’s get in Rosebud,” she said, then stopped to take a picture of the re-hair formula. She sent it to AlorFred.

Mr Clean eyed her uncomfortably. “You won’t tell anyone it was me who instigated the shaving, right?”

“Be loud and proud, Mr Clean,” May told him.

“No one would believe me,” Ninja added.

Mr Clean nodded comfortably. He raised the spatula. “To Rosebud!”

Rosebud took them to Canada in only ten minutes. Ninja told Mr Clean to fly slowly over the town. “I’ll see if I can sense him,” she said absentmindedly.

May got a gleam in her eye as she got another clue about Ninja’s powers.

Ninja sat low in the room, listening hard. She closed her eyes, focusing. The strangely smooth thoughts of Mr Clean would give her something to go off of when it came to the feel of Deri’s. It would have to do.

Glass raced over in the morning, her hair a floppy mess. She skidded to a halt in front of the ratty house where Dave lived.

She pounded on the door. “Dave!” She cried. “You have to get out of there— another alien is searching for you, and he’s close behind.”

Dave opened the door, his wacky ‘fro wackier than ever. “Actually, I go by Debbie now.”

“Regardless, the guy driving Rosebud is coming to find you. So you gotta roll.”

Dave/Debbie frowned. “Very well. Come in.”

The house had yet to become messy, and was instead a bizarre mix of baby blues and pale pinks.

“Debbie— pastels? Really?” Glass asked.

Debbie/Dave sighed. “This house is a work in progress. Or was, I guess. Let me grab my wallet, and we’ll go to the bank. I have to get my savings out.”

They were flying over the third town when Ninja felt a definitively alien presence in the building below.

“Here— he’s here.” At least, Ninja hoped so. Who knew how many aliens were in Canada? She giggled, surprised at how weird the thought was.

They landed in the woods to hide Rosebud, and Ninja led them to the building.

“It’s a bank?” May asked, surprised.

Its architecture nicely reflected the Renaissance, with its barrel dome and string courses. The columns were fake, though.

And inside, Ninja suddenly felt, there also was Glass.

Glass looked around hurriedly. There was something off about this bank. She could feel it in her bones. A prediction of something going wrong.

Then Ninja came in.

Glass felt a pang of sadness. She stroked her mascot in her bag. It had been such a dear dream of hers to have a real friend, but she guessed it just wasn’t going to work out. It made her so sad for a moment, that she gave Ninja a few extra seconds to come barreling across the bank floor like a hound dog on a scent.

“Go—” she told Debbie/Dave. “Go ahead, I’ll hold them off.”

“You still have your lucky charm?”

Glass nodded.

Dave/Debbie left, and Glass stepped into the path of Ninja, May, and Mr Clean.

“Glass— what are you even doing here?” Ninja asked. “What are you thinking?! You know what, you’ve been nothing but difficult—”

“Well you’ve been nothing but pompous!”

“Pompous?”

“You didn’t even ask if I wanted to help find Debbie—”

“Debbie?”

“— Or if I thought it was the right thing to find Dave.”

“Dave?”

“I mean, he’s just a poor innocent alien, why do you have to find him when he obviously is on the run? He just wants to hide, is there anything wrong with that?”

“Yes! Because he has friends that want to find him! Everyone needs a friend!”

“Who says that?”

“There’s a song about it!”

“So!?" Glass threw her hands in the air.

“You want a friend!” Ninja said, “We— I want a friend!”

Glass kicked her, and they began to spar.

“Umm, I’m going after Deri now,” Mr Clean said, edging around them with May.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Glass turned to kick him, too, but Ninja got her from behind.

Then there was a loud clack-clack. “Okay, everybody, get on the floor! Don’t move! This is a robbery!”

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

An old woman with dark-red hair was holding a sawed-off shot gun. Beside her stood an ancient, skinny dude holding a pistol.

“Do we really have to do this?” the skinny dude said.

“Shut up, Marvin,” the old woman said. “We’re doing this. It’s on my bucket list.”

Ninja looked at Glass, but could only see the floor.

I don’t want to knock out an old lady. Glass thought. It could kill her.

Well, maybe see if you can tickle her?

Oh. That’s not a bad idea. Glass approached the older couple.

“Give me everything in the tills!” the old lady commanded the tellers, waving her gun at them.

“Yeah,” the old dude said unenthusiastically. “Do that.”

Don’t make her fire her gun! Ninja thought.

Nag. But Ninja could tell Glass didn’t mind.

Glass moved closer. Couldn’t we just let her rob the bank?

Not when we can do something instead.

Ninja could feel Glass sigh.

Mr Clean felt around his pockets for the spatula. “Damn, I left it in Rosebud.”

Glass broached the last few feet to the old woman. Carefully, she reached out a finger and poked…

BANG!

The gun went off loudly. A hole formed in the ceiling, letting out a ray of sunlight which highlighted the miniscule particles of dust floating down from the disturbance

I said, DON’T make her fire! Ninja scolded.

Shut it, traitor. She hugged the old woman, wrestling the gun away from her.

BANG!

A portion of Glass’ shirt blew away as if in a particularly strong wind. It missed her midriff by centimeters.

“Glass!” Ninja shouted audibly, though most people were too busy watching the strange old lady fight thin air to notice.

The gun fell to the ground.

Marvin sighed, and set his own gun down. “Clearly, the universe is against us in this matter,” he said.

“Oh, Marvin,” the old lady said, disappointed. “At least we can enjoy prison life together.”

You moron, Ninja thought shakily. You could have been killed.

Shut it double, traitor. Glass felt that the phrase ‘shut it’ was particularly eloquent in this situation.

So hang me. But Mr Clean just wants to see his friend again.

And what about Dave’s feelings, huh? Debbie just wants his wishes respected. To be left alone. It’s not fair for Mr Clean to butt in. Dave-Debbie has no reason to trust him.

May cleared her throat loudly. “Now that that situation is cleared up, could you guys quit staring at each other in a passive aggressive and almost lesbian way, and help us find Mr Clean’s friend? Maybe if he could find some closure— someone who loves him despite his lack of hair— he could get over his spiteful attitude towards the world.” May sniffed rather dramatically. “I’ve always thought that there was something good in him, something more.”

“Oh, May,” Mr Clean said. “I thought you just wanted me for my money.”

“Yeah, but who says Debbie will love him at all, hair or no hair?” Glass asked.

“She’s right,” Mr Clean said, subdued. “No one would want to be friends with a bald man.”

“Actually you’re a bald alien,” Glass pointed out. “Man denotes that you’re a human.”

Mr Clean drew himself up. “It’s a matter of perspective,” he snapped. “To me, you’re all aliens.”

“He’s right,” Debbie/Dave/Deri said, stepping back into the bank. “We’re all aliens, every one of us. Strangers drifting in a cruel world.” He walked up and put a hand on Mr Clean’s shoulder. “I’m touched. I really am. But the intergalactic police are tracking you, in the hopes that you’ll find me. I’m afraid we’re both royally screwed now.”

Mr Clean teared up. “Demorphius,” he said—

“Wait, isn’t it Deridulous?” Ninja asked.

“Shut up, you’re ruining the moment,” May told her.

“I’m sorry I brought the intergalactic police down on your doorstep,” Mr Clean continued. “But I can’t live my life without a friend. Let me flee them with you— we’ll be fugitives forever.”

“Without a friend? What am I, chop suey?” May asked.

“Now who’s ruining the moment?” Ninja said, but no one listened.

“Like I said,” Mr Clean answered May, “I thought you just wanted my money.”

“Just wanted your money— true, I did at first. In fact, for a long time, the only reason I worked with you was for tuition and the thrill of the hunt. But for some time, now, I’ve, I—”

May turned bright pink. “I love you, Mr Clean. And I want to know your real name.”

Mr Clean turned a brilliant shade of blue. “Oh, May.”

“Oh— really, I want to know your real name. This is getting old.”

He leaned over and lovingly whispered it in her ear.

“Oh,” she whispered his name back. “Let’s run away together, and attend an alien university where they know way more than human universities do.”

“I must warn you,” Mr Clean said. “In galactic wealth, I’m not a rich man.”

“We’ll get by,” May said. “After all, I am willing to do unsightly things to people to get money.”

“You sound like a fugitive born and raised,” Debbie/Dave/Deri/Demorphius said. “Let’s get going.”

Then the Canadian police showed up and demanded statements of everyone.

“So,” the loud man said as he poured milk on his honey boats, “Your report on the cereal shaver?”

“I haven’t heard of any cereal shaver,” Ninja said.

“I said serial shaver!” he blustered.

“Oh, her. She’s gone. Fled the planet with a couple aliens. One was bald, and the other had an afro.”

“Oh, ok— wait, what?!”

Glass coughed. Let me handle this. “We got to her and tortured the anti-baldness serum out of her. Here’s a picture.” She handed over a print copy of it.

“You tortured her? I think that’s ill—”

“I think what she meant to say is we bargained with her,” Ninja said.

“Yeah,” Glass said. “That’s exactly what I meant.”

“You know what?” the loud man said, “I’m just going to report this one as a success.”

“That would be accurate,” Ninja agreed.

AlorFred stuck his head in through the doorway. “Glass!” he said. “I just wanted to tell you, I’ve been feeling this way for some time now, I just— I— “

“Shut it,” Glass said, in a determinedly bad mood. “Just, don’t.” She walked past him, rippling into invisibility.

Ninja bit her lip as she watched Glass disappear. She knew that a big part of Glass’s anger was directed at her, even though Ninja herself thought that the misunderstanding had already been resolved. But she didn’t hear their thoughts, one of her own thoughts told her. She only knew what she found out for herself. Maybe she even knew about the tracking thing that I didn’t hear about until the very end…

“Glass!” she shouted, dashing down the flickering hallway. Glass paused, letting her catch up to her. “I’m sorry.” Ninja said. “I should have asked you first. Before I said we’d do anything.”

Glass stayed with her back to her. Even her emotions were unreadable, black and twisting through tunnels deep in Glass’s psyche. She turned, and the world lit up again.

“Okay,” she said. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”