There was no reply from the alien ship.

“So, you do want the missiles?” Dave asked tentatively.

“Nah,” Glass said. “That would be terrible for the environment. I was just bluffing.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I can see that.”

“Now,” Glass said. “Now we just wait. There has to be some response to that.”

“Right,” Dave said. “Well, I really have to get out of town for a bit, but—” He took a glass flower from his pocket. “Take this lucky charm. It’s like a horseshoe, but smaller.”

Glass took it, placing it deep in her key-pocket. “It’s been an honor.” She said, shaking his hand firmly.

“Don’t give up hope just yet,” Dave said with a smile, and turned and went for his station wagon, pulling out much faster than wise.

“Deridilous?” A voice crackled over the radio. “Deri? Are you there?”

Glass turned invisible. Outside, a UFO landed on the lawn.

The previously seamless wall opened, a door opening from the top to ramp to the ground. Mr Clean put on his wig.

“Don’t move,” he told Ninja, though she was still frozen against the wall.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I won’t.”

He left. May followed him, spatula in hand.

Out on the half- dead lawn, Mr Clean looked around. “Deri could never keep anything alive. He could kill a garthanguan cactus. And that,” he looked at May, “Is an impressive feat.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” May said, smiling.

Glass could see the twosome through the dirty window. The shaver’s companion looked like cousin Itt, but taller.

She raised an invisible eyebrow, and waited behind the door.

“Here’s the entrance,” Itt said. The door creaked open.

They walked through. Glass raised her handy-dandy whacker stick. They stopped, looking around.

“There’s no one here.” Itt was puzzled.

“Wait—” The shaver said. “If the first cop had powers, wouldn’t the second— “ Glass hit her over the head.

“Hey!” Itt cried, raising a fist. Glass hit him, as well, and his hair all fell off. It wasn’t hair at all, but an enormous, bizzare mass of wig. He scowled, looking around for her. She circled around him, still invisible, to whack him on the back of his shiny baldness.

He heard the movement and turned, so her stick hit him between the eyes. Squinting, he wavered. She hit him again, and he fell.

Frowning, she wondered once more about the ethics of giving people concussions. Then she stooped and picked up what looked like a pink rubber spatula. “Was this here before?”

Probably not. It didn’t match the rest of the house at all. Too clean. She stuck it in her pocket, the handle wobbling, and headed for the UFO.

Inside, Ninja was standing uncomfortably close to the wall, stock still. Glass examined her closely. There didn’t seem to be any restraints.

“It must be science,” she said, thrilled.

Ninja’s eyes widened. “Glass?”

“Who’d you think it was?”

“I couldn’t even tell you were there.”

“You couldn’t?” Glass reappeared, looking concerned. “What happened?”

“They took my powers,” she admitted. “With— with that spatula you’re holding now!”

“Oh this?” Glass asked, pulling it out. She waved it randomly.

“Don’t do that!” Ninja shouted.

A panel slid open in the wall, revealing a bathroom.

“It does a bunch of weird stuff,” Ninja said.

“Science!” Glass declared happily. She wobbled the spatula some more. Strange music played. The door shut. The ship hovered about a foot off the ground. Finally, Ninja was released.

“Thank you,” she said, “But please stop waving that thing now!”

Glass pouted, and handed Ninja the spatula.

The dash buzzed again. “Deridilous, you thief!” Mr Clean’s voice shouted through the static.

“Who’s Deridilous?” Glass asked Ninja.

“An old intergalactic military buddy.”

“Oh.” Glass’s eyes widened. “OH! Dave!”

“Dave?”

“Doesn’t matter, give me the spatula.”

“No way.”

Glass grappled with her friend. Without the telepathic edge. Ninja struggled for the first time in her life.

“No!” she told Glass. “Behave yourself!”

“Behave myself?” Mr Clean asked.

“Oh, maybe that’s how this works,” Ninja said. She spoke into the spatula like a microphone. “Mr Clean?” she asked.

“I told you not to move!” he scolded.

“It’s Glass’s fault.”

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

“You stole Rosebud!”

“Also Glass.”

“Who’s Glass?”

“My consultant friend.”

“Partner,” Glass corrected. “Your fabulously intelligent, only somewhat irresponsible, pig partner.”

“Where are you? Come back!”

“Sorry, I don’t know how to fly this,” Ninja.

“You just use the control wand. You stole that, too. You’ve obviously figured it out. You just think where you want to go.”

“Well, you inhibited my thinking with your power-dampening thing.”

“Oh, right. Have your friend fly it back, then.”

“I don’t feel like it,” Glass replied smugly. “I’ve always wanted a spaceship. Especially one named Rosebud. That is so classy.”

“Thank you,” Mr Clean said. “But she’s mine.”

“I don’t think so. Not unless you give me a reason to give it back.”

Mr Clean sighed. “Fine.” There was brief, thoughtful silence. “I’ll give your friend back her powers if you return my ship.”

“Why don’t you just tell us how, and we’ll return it then?”

“Don’t trust them.” May inserted.

“We’ll tell you how after you land and exit the ship. Then you will hand over the control wand.”

Glass looked to Ninja. “What do you think?”

“I think we’ve got the upper hand. Tell us about the shavings.”

“What?” Mr Clean shouted. “We had a deal.”

“No, we almost had a deal,” Ninja said. “The only reason we’re here is because of the shavings. Now talk, or the ship will drift away, and you’ll never see it again.”

“Fine,” he growled. “It was spite.”

“Spite?”

“Yes, pure spite. A Terran once called me balder than a shaved rat. I took it to heart. On my planet, great pride is placed in one’s hair. I’ve been teased about it my whole life. To get that kind of lip from a common Terran— it was more than I could take.” He seemed to stifle a sob. “It doesn’t help that all you Terrans have fantastic hair.”

“So you were hurt and jealous,” Ninja said. “You hired May to shave people and bring you the hair so you could make that wig. And as an added bonus, she made them permanently bald. But seriously?”

Mr Clean sighed. “Seriously.”

Glass chortled. “You’re going to need to give us an antidote to that perma-bald thing. And swear on your favorite person that you won’t do it again.”

“My favorite person?”

“Yes.”

“What if I don’t have one?”

“Then swear on your eternal soul.”

“Fine.”

“Great!” Glass said. “How do we land this thing?”

“Her name is Rosebud!” he said.

“How do we land Rosebud?” Ninja asked.

“There’s a sort of map on the dashboard,” he said. “Touch the end to it.”

Ninja examined the simplified map, zooming in by double tapping with her fingers until she could clearly see the scraggly lawn. Carefully, she tapped the head of the spatula to the map.

There was a thud as Rosebud slammed into the ground.

“Careful!” Mr Clean said.

Ninja gently waved the wand at the door. It opened. “Cool,” she said.

May rushed the ship, baseball bat in hand. Glass ducked and met it with her handy-dandy whacker stick. They stabbed and parried their way across the ship deck.

“Girls, play nice!” Ninja said. “We made a deal.”

May crossed her arms. “You whacked me.”

“You stole my friend.”

“That was actually an accident.”

“Oh.” Glass considered May for a moment, then stuck out her hand. “Shake?”

They shook hands.

May rested her baseball bat on her shoulder, and they followed Ninja to the lawn.

Mr Clean was standing before them on the lawn, arms folded.

“The antidote to the baldness serum is written inside on the board. Give me the control wand.”

Ninja squinted at him. “I can’t tell—” She’d almost said, what you’re thinking, but she caught herself and held the spatula more tightly.

“Come on, you won’t be able to figure out how to restore your powers on your own.”

“That’s treacherous talk,” Ninja said. “Tell me how, then I’ll give it back.”

May looked at her thoughtfully. “She’s feeling vulnerable without her powers.”

“Are you an empath?” Glass asked.

“No, a psychologist.”

“So you’re psychic.”

“No, psychologist—— someone who studies human—”

Glass cracked up. “I know what a psychologist is.”

You tease, Ninja thought, but Glass didn’t hear. Ninja growled to herself. “Tell me how to give me back my powers.”

“I wouldn’t be able to describe it to you.”

“Try.”

“Go on and give it to him, Ninja,” Glass said. “I’ll hit him if he tries anything.” She picked up her whacker stick and turned invisible.

May’s eyes narrowed. “I’d like to see you try.” She muttered, watching the area around them with concentration.

Okay, now we’re getting somewhere, Ninja thought, but Glass still didn’t hear. She handed over the spatula.

Mr Clean wagged it in a seemingly random pattern.

Ninja felt thoughts rush back into her head, warm and volatile. She smiled. Don’t hit him, she told Glass.

It’s nice to hear your thoughts creepily projected into my mind once again. Glass responded, and Ninja could feel a little burst of joy.

A brief assessment of Mr Clean’s strangely textured thoughts told Ninja that he’d told the truth about the serum, but there was something else pressing on his mind. “You knew the guy who lived here?” she asked.

Mr Clean’s expression turned doleful. “Deri. He was a good friend of mine. I thought he was dead.”

Ninja’s heart went out to him. He only wanted to see his old friend, and had only been spiteful when it came to the hair incidents. “We’ll help you find him,” she said.

Surprise shuddered across their minds.

No. Glass responded. You can find him on your own.

And she stormed off.

Ninja was frustrated that she hadn’t got a word in, but she let it go. “Okay, scratch that. I will help you.”

Mr Clean and May looked confused for a minute.

“Oh, you mean your partner isn’t here anymore?” May asked. A brief temptation to erase the chemical compound on the board flitted across her mind, but she let it go.

Ninja narrowed her eyes at May, but smiled. “I have a knack for finding hidden people.”

May raised an eyebrow. She wondered quietly where this talent sprung from. “Mr Clean? What do you think?”

“Let’s do it,” the alien said.

They looked at each other and nodded.