“Look, what we need to do.” Said Tree Boy as he sat on the pier, feet dangling above the water. “Is set up a radio antenna to signal the aliens, and they’ll help us take over the world.”

“I think that’s a terrible idea.” Michelle replied, hands on his hips. He was trying to decide on a boat to steal.

“You never know—” Gerald replied, but was interrupted by Hobbes.

“What we need is power. A great deal of it. And that means money. Tree boy, you say your parents are rich?”

“Yeah, but I’m telling you guys, the best way to establish dominance is through intergalactic politics.”

Tello shook his head. “The things you come up with. We should steal this one”

“What I don’t understand,” Said Michelle, untying the houseboat, “Is why they haven’t sent the money yet. We gave them a deadline. Should we raise the stakes?”

“I think we should cut off his finger.” Tello said matter of factly.

“No, guys—” Tree boy said. “Really. Just help me set up a radio tower.”

“We’ll cut off his finger if they don’t pay.” Hobbes waved a hand lazily. “Humans have so much blood in them, it’d make a mess.”

“Yeah how bout no. But trust me. We just need to set up this radio, send a message to aliens, and convince them to help us in our plot for world domination. It’s not that hard— it’s the perfect plan!”

Gerald sighed. “If we give you a radio, will you shut up?”

Spicy squinted, trying to see into the distance. On the pier, was that… a group? They looked to be getting ready to board a boat. Maybe they had the kid. She sprinted forward, then snuck in closer. She saw Tree Boy in the midst of them. And ‘them’ looked like a medium sized family, consisting of only fraternal twins. All of them with humps on their shoulders.

That’s really weird. She thought to herself, trying to listen in to the conversation.

“Yeah, of course I’ll shut up!” Tree boy said happily. “I won’t even radio any humans! It’s not like I like any of them!”

The humped men looked at eachother.

“I’ll give you this special radio.” One of them said, pulling out a piece of his ear. “But it’s under my control, got it? So no funny business.”

Tree boy nodded, taking the dismembered ear in his hands. There was no blood.

Robots! Spicy realized. Then she added, Bubbles! For emphasis.

She had finally found Tree Boy. Disappointingly, he wasn’t wearing his duckie pajamas.

Oh, well. Bubbles in hell.

Backing up til she was out of earshot, she whispered into her walkie-talkie. “Hey I found him. It looks like he’s been abducted by robots. We’re on Dock Seven, Pier N. It looks like they’re trying to leave. I could use some backup.”

“Do they have humps?”

"What hump?”

“Uh—”

“Just kidding. Yes, they have humps.”

“Cool. Those are their off-switches. You just have to smack their shoulders like they’re a game of egyptian rat-slap.”

“I play a mean game of egyptian rat-slap.”

“Yeah right. I beat everyone at that game. You just have to hit the cards hard enough that if anyone gets in your way their hands’ll fall off.”

“Are you challenging me to a game? I always win.”

“Psh.” There was a crackly sigh over the walkie-talkie. “After business. I’ll be right over.”

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Spicy settled in to wait for backup.

But life had other plans. As she looked up from the walkie talkie, she saw everyone in the not-so-distant group, except Tree Boy who was still fiddling with the piece of ear, staring at her.

“Um… this is awkward… anyone wanna help me prepare for a game I have later today?” They stared on. One of the group’s pinkies twitched. “Or, I dunno, put Tree Boy back in his duckie pajamas? They were really something—”

The closest robot attacked. Spicy leaped out of the way and whipped out her bubbles, swinging them around like a Manriki chain. “I guess that’s a no.” She slammed her hand down on the first one’s hump, and he writhed before going limp.

“Michelle!” Tree Boy sounded horrified.

“You should really call him Mick.” Another robot scolded, while a third approached Spicy cautiously.

“A challenger approaches,” Spicy gleefully proclaimed. “Anyone else? You guys don’t seem that tough”

“Tello,” Tree Boy said. “Be careful, this one is a proud defender of legality.”

‘Tello’ ignored Tree Boy’s warning and lunged.

Spicy ducked and grabbed Tello’s arm, and in a second, the robot was down on the ground. “Now, I knight you,” Spicy smacked the hump ”Good night.” Tello powered down with a confused look.

But Spicy didn’t see the last two robots running at her from behind. She barely twisted to avoid a brain injury, and flipped one of the robots on its head. Machine parts went everywhere in a gory mess. The other robot grabbed Spicy from behind and got her in a stronghold.

“Hey!!! Didn’t anyone ever teach you about consent?!”

“I-um-shut up! You killed Gerald!” The last robot said.

“He had it coming.”

“Gerald!” Tree Boy ran over, dropping the ear, as he examined the remains. Somehow, when the radio-ear touched Gerald’s electrical corpse, a giant hum ran through the robot’s bodies, flipping out into the atmosphere.

Glass slipped around the corner, still invisible, and came face to face with a desperate scene. Little mustache girl’s arms were pinned behind her back by a robot, a giant something of a sound was dying out, and Tree Boy looked like he was about to cry.

“My new henchmen.” He said tearfully.

Glass walked quietly around the last standing robot, and switched him off. There were benefits to invisibility, after all.

Bubbles-Mustachia looked around, confused by the sudden release. Her eyes widened. “Stevie?”

Glass reappeared. “You finally called me by my nickname. I’m touched.”

“Alright. This is the kid I need to bring back to HQ with me. You wanna come along?”

Glass wrinkled her nose, then reconsidered. “I’ll stay invisible.” She prerequisited.

“Suit yourself. TREE BOY!!!” The kid looked up, frowning, with tears and smudged camo face paint. “You’re coming with me.”

“I don’t wanna! You killed my robot army!” He whined.

“You sound like a toddler. You know what I do with misbehaving toddlers?”

“What?”

“I put them down for a nap.” Mustachia knocked Tree boy out (we won’t say how because it might disturb some readers) and dragged him away.

“Um— Um, you don’t do that to real toddlers, do you? Because if you do I’m going to have to do something awful to you in response. I was thinking bloodletting, medieval style.”

Mustachia laughed: “No. I just put them in a crib and leave them there for an hour.”

“That’s like, animal cruelty or something.”

“Not when they need a nap.”

“You know what? I know nothing about toddlers, so I will concede defeat in this topic.”

“Alright Stevie. You do that.”

Glass was about to reply when a tractor beam suddenly floated them into midair. Tree Boy had succeeded in calling his aliens.

They wiggled and waggled in midair, trying to regain control of their position. Mustachia waved her arms randomly, smacking Glass in the face.

“What the fudge is happening???”Mustachia cried.

“Aliens.” Glass said grimly, looking up at the ufo above them. “I should have known.”

“It worked? IT WORKED!!!” Tree Boy looked ecstatic, flopping his arms around as he opened his eyes from his ‘nap.’

“I thought you were sleeping, toddler.” Glass said, much disturbed.

“Why would I be asleep for this? Now the Aliens will help me in my plot for world domination!!!”

Glass thought for a minute, then grabbed both Tree Boy and Mustachia.

“Hey! Consent!” Tree Boy shouted.

Glass scowled, and pushed off the bodies of the robots to shove them out of the null-gravity tractor beam zone. They fell quite a distance, and tumbled over the wooden dock like thrown rag dolls. The UFO didn’t seem to mind all that much that they were getting away, but sucked up the robots like a mechanical milkshake, zipping away in a matter of seconds.

“Phew.” Glass said. “I’m glad this story doesn’t work on real logic, or the UFO would have sucked us up as fast as it flew away.”

“Wait… what story?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Glass said, then looked at herself and frowned. “I think I scraped my knee.”