I'll admit it. Come nightfall, I was feeling a little bit resentful towards Vile who was already asleep. On further consideration, however, it wasn't really fair. Sure, it felt as though I was the one doing all of the work and thus should have been the most tired, but I guess casting so many spells must take an awful lot out of you, too. Plus, even though she played it cool, as always, it must have been a rather nerve-wracking experience for her. She still hasn't known me for that long, and she entrusted the safety of her tail to me. And sure, maybe you won't die from the loss of a tail, but that doesn't mean that they aren't really important!
My jaw is still hurting, stiff from having to keep it forced open for so long. It didn't get easier, either, as the training went on. Every single time I took damage, that instinct to clamp down and tense up returned and, somehow, I had managed to fight it off ever single time. I have to admit, I am rather proud of myself.
Slave is also still wide awake. I guess that it's been a stressful day for her as well, worrying that at any moment I might injure her mistress. At no point did she step in or even express any vocal concern, however. As much as I'd like to believe that she trusted me, I'm sure that she trusted Vile's judgement, instead.
"Um... hi... could we maybe talk a bit?" Slave says in a quiet voice, not wishing to awaken the sleeping rat which is cuddled against her fur.
I feel a moment of hesitation, seeing as how the last time she had asked me that, she had lead me to my would-be execution site, but that moment is short lived. I smile and nod, "Of course."
"I know that I already apologized but, well... I want to do it again. Now that mistress is asleep. You know, just so that you know I'm not only doing it for her benefit. You have always treated the two of us honorably, and I am ashamed to say that I did not return that honor." The cat says, avoiding meeting my gaze.
"Hey, don't worry about it. I understand... well, not exactly." I say, "But I have my own master, and I know what it's like to want to do anything for him. Just how crushing the feeling that you might lose them can be, and how it can drive you to do things you never would have previously thought possible."
Of course in my case, it let me on a grand adventure rather than trying to murder someone, but still, the principle is the same.
"Yeah, you're right. But with love comes trust. I trust mistress Vile unquestioningly, and it is clear that she trusts you. Even if you were little more than a stranger, honestly, even if you seemed suspicious, that should have been enough. It was a moment of weakness and jealousy which drove me to hate you, and I can promise that it won't happen again. Even should she take you in, I would be honored to have you as a slave sister..." the cat pauses, offering a little smile. "...but I'm still keeping the name."
"Right." I say, ears lowering. I'm finding myself concerned, and not just about the idea of me becoming a slave. There is something else I wish to say, but I'm internally wrestling back and forth with whether it's appropriate or could risk breaking the potentially delicate truce that me and the feline have forged. Still, I can't bring myself to not express concern for a creature that I wish to consider a friend. "About Vile... um, I don't really know how to put this... she's kind of mean to you. Kind of really mean to you." I say. I recall the conversation that I'd had with the rat before, and while it certainly did soften things somewhat, I'm uncertain it is enough. "I'm just wondering... is she really worthy of your adoration?"
I tense, expecting anger, but am relieved when the feline instead simply smiles. "I can understand how the situation might seem strange from an outside observers perspective." Slave says. "But there is nothing that I wouldn't do for my mistress. I owe her a debt which I couldn't hope to repay over a thousand lifetimes." the cat looks up, tilting her head to one side, "Do you know what it is like to live a life of nothing but pain and fear?"
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"I do." I reply, nodding. "I can't remember that much of my youth, but I do remember the pain and fear, and how it felt so overwhelming that nothing else could possibly exist in this world. My master had rescued me from that world, however, and kept me safe."
"Not all of us are spoiled pets like you." Slave says, before stopping herself. "Um, I'm sorry, that wasn't really fair of me."
"No, not wrong. I know that many are not nearly as fortunate as I was. As for my owner, he gave me everything, and that's why I'm on this journey. To possibly repay even just a little bit of the kindness that he had shown me." I say, "Did your mistress do the same?"
"Not quite. She didn't take me away from that world of pain and fear. She couldn't have even if she wanted to. She's just a single rat, after all. Instead she did something even better." the cat smiles, "She taught me to embrace it. To turn my weakness into strength. To actually crave the worst that the world has to offer, rather than running away from it, and now? Now there is nothing in this world that I fear, and I owe all of that to her. Maybe I wouldn't have died without her, but thanks to her, I have a life worth living. One where I can hold my up head proudly... even as she makes me feel ashamed." she smiles wider.
"I guess we all have our own ways of dealing with the world." I say, "I just worry a little that she did it for the wrong reasons, and helping you was just an incidental effect. That she just hurt you for the sake of hurting you."
"Rats are peculiar creatures. They don't have the same feelings as cats or dogs, and certainly don't express them in the same ways. That doesn't mean that there aren't any there, though." The cat looks down at the rodent curled up against her dark fur, "And maybe you're right. Maybe she is being selfish, but that's okay because I'm being selfish, too. Maybe that's just what love is. Two people being selfish together, ultimately wanting to just make themselves happy, but just happening to take joy in serving one another."
I feel shame wash over me, at having been so judgmental, and not trusting both of them to know what they wanted. Love can indeed be selfish. I'm not going on this journey to make the life of my master better. I still want to, of course, but that's not why I'm traveling. I'm going because I want to see him again.
"You're right." I say, "I was foolish to worry. Clearly, you two understand one another a lot better than I do, and are both smart enough to know what is best. I can't deny that I still don't quite get it, but that's okay. The important thing is that you are happy. Both you and Vile."
Slave lowers her head to nuzzle at the rounded ear of the rat, which twitches as she frowns a little in her sleep. I can only watch and smile.
Squire has completed the path of Acceptance! Squire has attained Paladin rank 5!
Squire has learned the "Divine Wrath" ability!
The black cat's warm expression immediately turns accusatory as she sighs. "You just gained another paladin rank, didn't you?"
"Um, yeah. How did you know?" I ask, feeling inexplicably guilty.
"Your whole body glowed for a moment. I swear, it's like the Gods are handing those out to you like candy."
"I'm sorry." I reply sheepishly, having no idea how candy is handed out, but able to loosely extrapolate the meaning from the context.
"Heh, you really do apologize too much. Vile will make you a proper slave of you yet." The black cat purrs.
"I'm sorry..." I said once again, as I curl up, head against my tail. The cat does the same, quickly falling asleep against her mistress. As for me, sleep doesn't come nearly so easily, the prospect of ending up as Vile's slave both feeling completely plausible and absolutely terrifying at once. Even the countless arachnid eyes staring vacantly from the darkness represent only a minor source of anxiety in comparison. I need to learn to start asserting myself, and quickly!
---
Vile: "Foreshadowing!"
Squire: "Um... not really, though, right?"
Vile: "Oh, you don't need to worry. I'm run the numbers, and I calculate that there is only a 35% chance of this story devolving into full-on animal BDSM porn. 40% at most."
Squire: "I like those odds!"