When I woke up the next day it was to a knock on the door.

“The King wishes for you to come to his quarters as soon as you are ready.” The servant said as I answered the door.

As Scooby would say “Ruh roh”. That trip was probably the longest of my life. My feet felt like they weighed a hundred pounds by the time I knocked on his door.

“Enter” the King said as I knocked on his door.

“You sent for me Your Majesty”

“Yes sit down sit down” He said motioning to a chair.

“I’d rather stand your majesty. I just woke and I am still getting loosened up.” Actually it was so I could defend myself.

“Fine. Well then I’ll just get straight to the point then, this business with my daughter has to stop.”

It felt like someone just dropped me from an airplane without a parachute.

“Whatever do you mean your majesty?”

“Don’t be coy with me boy. My daughter sharing your bed once I can overlook as just her overwhelming curiosity getting the better of her. She is my daughter after all.” Henry was notoriously bigamous, having multiple mistresses. The ironic thing is England had an “Heir” and later a “Succession” crisis when he had almost 2 dozen illegitimate children, half boys. “However twice is a pattern. It must stop, surely you see the danger in it.”

Oh I see danger all right.

“I will try but it is she that seeks out me, your majesty.”

“Are you man? Is she forcing you?”

He had a point I hadn’t actually flat out refused before. But in a way she was forcing me. Women can hold a lovers grudge for decades. Even in the original timeline she had power. Hell her son Henry the 2nd became King after Stephen.

“I will do as you command your majesty”

“Don’t look so brokenhearted about it. I will find you a fine wife with a large estate.” My love life was the least of my worries.

I left there feeling like I jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. I had left the Kings room with my head still attached but when I let down the Empress would I retain the other important body parts?

“Lawrence!”

“Sir-Yes-Sir” Just say his name and he is here in a flash.

“Where are my bucket's son?”

“A&B said they should have them done by tomorrow depending on when they get the scale Sir.”

“Good. Now I need you to find me someone else. I need someone who can make a padded set of armor for the chest and shoulders only. Leather would work to protect the padding on the outside. Give them this drawing and get them to make me one set as a start. Here’s your pay for yesterday now run along.” He beamed at me as he got another pence.

When he was out of sight I went to see if Lily had the scale done. When I arrived at the shop she was outside at the bellows working on what appeared to be a football helmet.

“I take it that means you’re done with the scale?” I said pointing to the Helmet.

“Aye, it does. I will have your weights before Monday so quit your worrying. First one of those I ever built. What do you need outta such a large scale?”

“To weigh water.”

“Huh? Well as long as you keep paying me you can do whatever floats your boat.” Hah that one is this old too.

“I’ll send Lawrence to pick it up later. Good work.” I said as I flipped her a pence.

I left the, I guess I have to name it something, how about Lily Pad? Maybe as a nickname. Ah hell I’ll think of something later.

I walked down to the Broken Dagger as I hadn’t had breakfast and it was already almost noon. Agatha wasn’t in nearly as receptive mood today her mom had fussed at her all night after I had left about leaving during work. I wouldn’t be as lucky today.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“I’m sorry Sir Arthur but business is bad enough without her dropping food and running off.” She had said trying to explain why her daughter could not drop everything at the sight of me and run off and have sex. Isn’t the 12th great at least for a Knight?

“It's alright Madam Claire, I understand. Is it really that slow?”

“Yes I’m afraid it has been since my husband passed away. God rested his soul that was 4 years ago. We have been doing the best we can but…” It was dead in there alright. I guess the scenery was so nice I never noticed.

That’s when a business idea hit me like a ton of bricks.

“I’ve got it. Why don’t you sell this place to me? I won’t be able to pay for it all upfront but I will give everything I have right now and pay the rest in a few months. Then you and your daughter work for me and I turn this into one of the best Inns that ever was. If I can’t you keep the inn and my money.”

“Do you mean it?”

“Of course”

“Yes I would love that and Agatha probably even more so. I know you can do it, for you are Sir Arthur and you can do anything.” That’s a little much.

“I don’t know about that but I can turn this place around. Here’s what we do…..”

And the Rump Roast Inn was born. It was basically a steakhouse that had good looking women in short shorts and tank tops waiting on you, a modern sports bar if you will. The Inn was just for added income. I was going to need to build some pool tables and some darts and dartboards.

I was afraid though that the attire might make an Ager think he had just walked into a strip club by comparison. In business though the only way to truly succeed is be different but may incur the wrath of the community, in other words the Church. It's kind of ridiculous but I know how much of “Prudes” they really are

You think with me feeding the hungry and keeping the rain off the Church, they would cut me some slack but something made me doubt it.

I also have Lawrence trying to find a cook and I am going to train them in some 21st century cooking. These people don’t even know what a frying pan is. A world without fried chicken is no world worth living in. Note to self set Lilly to making Cast Iron cookware.

This investment was going to wipe out my silver. I still had some money coming in from A&B but it was quickly getting outpaced by my payroll. Luckily I had the Loan from the King but my financial future was very much at risk here.

I also started a side project that went along with the Inn. I was going to take some of the cheapest beer I could find and turn it into white lightning to sell exclusively at my Inn. I was finally going to channel my inner gramps and build a still.

I figure this could get me a lot of repeat business on its own not to mention start a possible antiseptic business. That’s something else I have to work on 21st medical practices.

At the very least washing the wound as well as the surgeons hands with antiseptic. You can also use it to purify water which had been scaring the shit out of me literally. Tainted water gives you the shits.

When I next saw Lawrence I got him started on gathering the items from the wish list for all this. I also got him to point me in the direction of the city’s biggest gossiper.

“You know her sir, the Empress.”

I’ll be... kiss my ass. Well I guess I had to cross that bridge sometime anyway. Best get it over with. I found her in the Royal gardens. She was looking gorgeous of course. Her hair fluttering dramatically in the wind.

“A beautiful day milady and made more so by your presence.” And I kissed her hand. That crap is still in here.

“It is. Now did you come to take me and make passionate love to me here out in the open? You beast.” Does she ever stop?

“Unfortunately I must do the opposite. We can never be milady. You know this.”

“I see my Father has seen to you. What did he threaten you with? The rack? Death?”

“No he did not threaten me. He makes a valid point. You could be Queen Matilda. I am at best a loyal servant willing to take on the world for you but that’s all I could ever be. To continue this could only end in my death.”

“Take on the world, you do think grandiosely.” She said chuckling “Well it was fun while it lasted.”

I would have thought she would have argued or at least puffed up. Done princess shit. I was shocked and I guess it showed.

“Oh don’t be so surprised do you think you were the first?”

Well yeah every guy wants to.

“He has already chased off two and I think killed one." I took in a sharp breath  "We don’t know he went out one day on patrol and never came back. The fact that you're still here means he must like you.” Holy shit.

“Ah. Well I don’t know what to say” I said mumbling.

“Thanks for the good time, it will work.” She said with a smile.

“Thanks for the good time, milady.”

“Now anything else you need, Sir Arthur?”

“Well yes actually."

"Why am I not suprised."  She said chuckling. 

"I need it to be made known that a new Inn will be opening with male centered entertainment and in a week or so strong fire water which is a drink with no comparison will also be available. It will be opening on Monday at the former Broken Dagger Inn.”

“So you want me to talk to my girls and make sure they tell their men not to go to this place because of the reasons you mention. That way they will go out in droves.”

Wow, talk about a sharp woman. There are some psychologists back home that would love to study this girl.

“Yes exactly. You are incredible.”

“It will cost you.”

“I beg your pardon”

“It will cost you. That tongue thing you do. Come now it isn’t even intercourse.”

Can’t win them all I guess. Maybe the King would understand.