-”admist despair and hope”-

and so..

that's why i’m in this situation now

“HURTS! HELP ME..! HELP ME..!”

“SHIT! WHY IS THIS HUMAN IS SO STRONG!?”

“AARGH! MY STOMACH! SOMEONE, PLEASE! FIND MY GUTS”

attacking the horde of goblin in front of me, i keep hearing their “voices” inside my heads

after the goddess ease the strain of my titles, i can't wait any longer and start to hunt

with skill enemy detection, i look for hordes of monster one by one

kobold, orc, goblin, lizardman.. i keep attacking their settlement one by one

thanks to that, my lv and skill are increasing like crazy.

and now

i’m inside the cave of goblin attacking me in hordes

“AARGH! SHIT! WHY DIDN'T OUR ATTACK HITS?”

“SHOOT HER! ARROWS OR MAGIC PROBABLY WORKS SOMEHOW!”

they keep attacking me, but it’s useless

one of my unlocked skill, body mist allows me to not gets hits by normal physical attack

usually i can't attack while it activated, but thanks to my other skill instant reaction i can keep attacking making me like near invincible

furthermore, i got clear eye in cave thanks to all seeing eye and godeye

my skill is based on strongest swordmaster from some other world after all so it's not fit my level

“AAH! HURTS HURTS! THIS HUMAN ATTACK HURTS!”

i increase their pain with pain bringer and increase their fear more than usual with fear bringer

there's some other skill used, but those are the one that i used the most to kill those guys

sometimes, i didn't kill some of them on purpose and cutting off their limbs

that's why, their voice can be directly “transmitted” more to me

aahh..!

their intense feeling is flowing to me

their hatred,sadness,rage, pain is like a music to my ears

their face when looking at me,their eyes, their struggle..

it's all beautiful

more

more

make this whole world mad

dye it with the color of your blood

pile it with your bodies

struggle..

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don't accept death so easily

keep clinging on life

hate the world, hate me..!

yes..

i am the culprit that done this all

i am the one who takes everything that you had..!

your wish, your hope, your dream..

even your lives,family,loved ones

i’m the one who took them all

look at me

look at me with your bloodstained eye

look at me with all of your feeling

curse you

why did you come to this world

why is such a monster like you taking our lives!?

what have we done to you? why should we deserve this?

you.. murderer

…..

that’s right

i am a murder that takes your life

i am a murder that robbed everything that you had

that’s why

such a murder can only goes to hell, right?

such a existence would never reach a salvation

such a being would never receive good end

all that waits for that murderer is a fate worse than death

curse you

we hate you for killing us

even if god forgive you, we won’t

even if your action is right we won’t accept it

what is our fault? why are you doing this?

you killed too many

you rob our lives

you steal the lives that should have been born

you murder those that wants to live

that's why

we curse you

we won’t forgive you

forever and ever

we despise you

……

indeed

blame me for taking your lives, blame me for taking everything

don't ever forgive me, don't even allow me to be forgiven

even if you’re reborn you will hate me

even if you’re survive you won't allow me to survive

even if you die, you will still chase me to the end of earth

…..

hahaha….

hate me

try to kill me

with everything you got, with anything you can!

and

burn me

burn me inside the hottest flame of hell

burn me inside your sight

the worst criminal you ever seen

the most hated being from every being of your cell

and that villain

will definitely cursed just for living

the fate that awaits them

is clearly worse than every hell in the world combined

..but that's fine by me

i’ll take all of your hatred

i’ll take all of your curse

i’ll take all of things that make you mad

but even with all of that

i am still alive

i’ll show you that i’m still survived

amidst all of your curse, prayer, and hate

i’m still here

i’m still standing

no matter how you wishes me dead

no matter how you all wants to reject me

i am still alive

and nobody can avert their eyes from me

nobody can reject me anymore

and nobody is able to stop me

so struggle

try to stop me if you can

try to stop this monster from taking your lives

try to stop this criminal from doing whatever she wants

keep trying, struggle, move

even if you think you cannot move, move!

even if whats awaits you is only death, keep moving!

and..

stop me if you can

……………………………

when i already came into my senses, it's a pool of blood.

countless corpse is in front of me, and the smell is terrible

not one of the corpse looked good

every one of their face is filled with fear,despair, hatred

…...

i am exhausted

my arms already surpassed the limit

my breathing is heavy, my body feels heavy like a lead

my focus is blurry, and my head is dizzy

and inside of my sight

there's a survivor remaining

…..

the goblin is still a kid

he can barely walk

he was slowly crawl, trying to running away amidst this sea of corpse

….

i approach him

i’m already tired but i can probably do one last swing to a dying goblin

and then..

i looked at his eye

….

it was bright

he still had some fear and hatred

but it's still not letting go of hope

it's still not given up on living

its bright, full with wish to live

….

i stare back at him

he pick up a knife beside him

he was trying so hard to regain balance

and then

he stand

…..

with unsteady hand, he gripped the knife desperately

like his whole life is depends on the knife that he grip

seeing his eyes once again i looked at him

….

and then

without mercy and hesitation

i cut him down