It’s a surprise that the next two weeks pass quickly and pleasantly. I’m still tense, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but Kane has kept up his end of the bargain. It may be an act to keep me complacent but to an outside spectator, I’m certain we look like friends.
He’s stayed at the house with me most days, though I’m not sure why he doesn't need to go anywhere. But in that time, we’ve spent most of it in amicable silence reading together on the couch, but we’ve also had a number of interesting conversations ranging from obscure pack history, to whether cooked chicken in a roll still counts as sushi.
It’s late now and I close my book, ready to say good night when I notice that Kane’s eyes are a weird shade of milky white. I panic, reach over, and grab both sides of his face, slapping his checks to try and get his attention.
“Kane! Holy shit! Hello?”
He blinks and his eyes change back to their normal deep chocolate, clear and bright. He places his hands over mine and gently removes them from his face.
“Sorry to alarm you, I was mind-linked with the Alpha.” He seems to know what I am about to ask as he continues, “It’s a connection all members of the pack have. When we are in our other form the connection flows more freely but in this form, it takes more effort and it manifests physically, as you’ve noticed.”
He lets go of my hands and stands before I can think of anything to say.
“I’m sorry Ama, but I need to go back to the packhouse. I will be back in the morning.” He’s already looking to the backdoor and I’m too dumbfounded by the expression on his face to say anything. The corners of his lips are ever so slightly turned up. He seems…excited.
He must see my expression out of the corner of his eye, because he turns towards me and assures, “You’ll be perfectly safe.”
I nod dumbly and he takes that as consent as he leads to the door and swiftly leaves. I stare after him for a while.
He looked happy, truly happy. The only person who could summon him would be the Alpha, which would imply that Kane’s happy to go see him.
I sigh and pick up both of our books, placing them on the coffee table. His reaction only makes me more certain that they are lovers and at the same time, I’m now even more concerned for Kane. If Alpha has a mate, as Kane said before, and mates are bonded for life, doesn’t that make Kane, at best, a side piece? It’s not really any of my business but it seems like a pretty raw deal.
I go up to my room as I’d planned to do before, but the past few minutes have shaken off my sleepiness. I can’t help but in my head that night in Alpha’s office when he and Kane were very clearly about to have sex.
I twist a lock of my hair around a finger and hold up a finger as I count my thoughts of the subject. On the one hand, the way that Kane said that Alpha had a mate would imply that it’s not him.
I hold up another finger. Secondly, I’m not even sure if one can have a same-sex mate.
Looking down at my hand, I sigh and scrub it across my face. “It’s not like Alpha treats Kane with all that much consideration,” I mutter into the darkness. “Calling him out like a late night booty call.”
I flop onto the bed and stare at the ceiling, keenly aware that they are probably doing it right now.
It doesn’t make me feel anything in particular and I don’t give myself the luxury of trying to imagine it.
“Being around them has turned me into a pervert or something,” I huff and flip over onto my side with a groan, pulling the covers up to my chin.
Then, as if in answer to my comment, my brain conjures the question, “Who is on top?” which calls forth another slew of images.
What in the actual fuck in wrong with me?
I press the heels of my hands into my eyes and chide myself. As if I’m in any position to go and make all these assumptions. I barely know anything about Shifters, let alone the two of them, their history, or current relationship.
I also don’t want to be ‘that’ person. ‘That’ type of person who judges based on surface information and prejudice. Even if they are all shitty assholes, I feel like I need to maintain some semblance of a moral high ground. I let those thoughts calm me into a better state of mind and close my eyes.
I’m almost asleep when there's a loud crash downstairs. I lurch out of bed and hastily put on my prosthetic, forgoing the usual wrapping and just using the silicon sleeve.
I’m halfway down the stairs when I’m hit with a feeling of longing so strong it makes my lungs seize and I gasp.
Fucking Shifters and their goddamn feelings! They act so tough but then go around making everyone feel whatever they’ve got going on instead of keeping it to themselves.
I stumble down the rest of the way and hang off the doorway to the kitchen to see what’s going on and who to yell at. Kane is in the kitchen, bare chested in only a pair of sweatpants. He must have shifted to come back to the house.
His chest is heaving and I know that the tightness in my chest and the ache starting to grow between my legs is because of him, because of whatever he is projecting.
Annoyed, I smack the doorframe to get his attention. "Could you stop that? Are you in heat or something? Do Shifters have those anyway?"
He spins around and his wild expression startles me. He begins to stalk forward before seeming to catch himself. He shakes his head, as if clearing it, and the sensations bearing down on me ebbs. I take a deep breath and try to calm my racing heart.
"I was dismissed," he says as if that explains it all.
"I don't know what that means," I reply, pushing off of the door frame now that my knees finally aren’t shaking.
"It means I was mid fuck and then told to get out and go back here to keep watch."
I arch a brow, mulling over his words. "And now you've got blue balls?"
"What's that?"
I stifle a laugh at his question and explain, "You still want to get off, basically."
He doesn’t answer but shifts uncomfortably, averting his eyes. I’m trying not to jump to conclusions but it does sound like my assumption that Alpha summoned Kane for a booty call was correct. Though it seems like in the end he left Kane hanging.
My answer seems to have impacted Kane because I’m hit with a fresh wave of mixed emotions - anger, and a whole lot of sadness. Kane told me he wouldn’t force anything on me but clearly he’s not doing a good job of controlling himself at the moment.
As I weigh my options, a second wave of desire and aggression courses through me. I sigh, aware that while it isn’t my own, the need I’m feeling is affecting me regardless.
“You know, all your promises are out the window now,” I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. He looks back at me and I wonder if he’s not even aware of what he’s doing to me. His eyes have a frazzled, cloudy look, like he’s high.
“Who’s taking advantage of who, I wonder,” I mutter before rolling back my shoulders and offering, "Fuck me, then." Sex won't solve anything but I'm not thinking all that clearly and for sure neither is he.
His eyes flash and he walks past me and starts up the stairs. I don't move, thinking I've been rejected and wondering how I can save face when I’ve clearly misread the situation and his potential interest. I’m about to walk into the kitchen and wash my face off in the hopes that it’ll help me cool down when he commands, "Come."
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I gulp and turn back to the stairs. He’s waiting at the top, his back still to me. I follow him up and as I reach him, he leads the way into his room. When I enter, he grabs me and presses me into the wall beside the door.
"To be clear, Ama. If I do, I will have all of you. I won't force you, but I will take you further and harder than anything you've experienced before." His words sound cliché but I have a feeling he's being completely honest and perhaps attempting to be rational even though the cloud currently descended in his mind. I’m not sure what any of it really means but he's not even human, so I doubt any of my previous experience can prepare me.
"Are you going to hurt me?"
"Some of it may hurt but I promise you'll also feel incredible pleasure."
My toes curl at the thought. "Then I don't care. It won't mean anything anyway,” I say more to convince myself than him.
From our position by the door, I can see my room. As I look into the darkness there, I know that this is by far my worst mistake since arriving here. I know that it isn’t what either of us really want, but I’m not going to stop and I’m pretty sure he isn’t either.
He doesn’t disappoint. "Sure," he murmurs in agreement, stepping closer and caging me against the wall. "Then, strip."
The abrupt command has me freeze like a deer in the headlights.
"I said, strip!" The growl in his tone reverberates through my bones and has me scrambling to get my clothes off. As I pull my pants and panties down, they get stuck on my prosthetic. I pitch forward but he catches me with a hand on my shoulder.
His other hand slides down my thigh and stops just above the silicone cover. "May I?" he voice is soft now. Perhaps he understands the sensitivity around what he’s asking.
I nod and he shifts his weight, putting his hands under my thighs and lifting me up the wall. One hand keeps me up and the other moves down my leg before pushing my prosthetic off. It falls to the ground with a thud and I flinch at the sound.
Then, as his hands skims over the skin there, I stiffen. No one has touched my stump since I left the hospital. I haven’t wanted to let anyone see let alone feel the scarred, rough skin there. Fear seizes me but I don't have time to say anything as he buries his face in my neck, sucking on the sensitive skin there.
I moan, arching forward, my head going back and hitting the wall. There's a brief moment of pain and I laugh at the clumsiness of our situation. Looking back at him, his face is in front of him. His lips are slightly parted as if he’s about to speak.
I'm about to ask to move somewhere else when he pushes me further up the wall, gripping my ass as he adjusts himself. He lets go of me again just long enough to push his sweatpants down his hips. Then, he presses the tip of his cock against me just long enough for me to register what’s about to happen, before slamming into me in one motion. He buries himself until our hips are flush. He is bigger and thicker than anyone I’ve been with before.
I gasp and thread my fingers through his hair, gripping it and using it to leverage myself forward. He turns his face up and presses his lips to mine. I had expected a bit of foreplay but the sting of being so full of fast is quickly overridden by the ecstasy of it. Fire spreads from my belly throughout my body and I feel like I’m drowning in a combination of his pleasure and my own.
I moan into the kiss as he pulls out and then slams back into me. I feel my muscles spasm around him. My legs quiver and the sounds of squelching as he begins to pick up speed are obscene and arousing.
I shutter, feeling myself squeeze around him with each thrust, my hips moving of their own accord to meet him as he buries himself to the hilt repeatedly.
The pace is brutal and it’s all I can do to hold onto him. He suddenly lets go of one of my thighs and slides all the way up my side, before gently pressing against my throat. The pressure is alarming and all my muscles lock, which makes him groan and push into me even harder.
Without his support, I can't keep my leg wrapped around him. It drops and I end up balancing on my toes on one foot, my leg barely able to support my weight. He doesn’t let go of my other thigh so I’m forced to spread my legs apart even wider. He bends his knees to accommodate the loss in height but does not stop or let me adjust to a more comfortable position.
The position also has the unintended consequence of allowing him even deeper access, and when he enters again I feel the ache of him pounding into my cervix. I whimper and bite my lip, unused to the sensation.
His hand on my neck turns upwards so he is cupping my chin. The pad of his thumb brushes across my mouth, pulling my lower lip from between my teeth, before he pushes past my lips and presses down on my tongue. I can't hold back the sounds as he forces my mouth open.
It’s another part of me being filled with him and I feel giddy from the high. I give in, swirling my tongue around his finger and sucking on it.
He growls loudly and pulls out completely, letting my other leg drop. I feel myself teeter with only one foot to stand on but he quickly spins me around, pressing my chest to the wall before gripping my hips and kneeling behind me.
As he spreads my ass apart, I flush in embarrassment. From his vantage point, not only is he seeing my dripping pussy but also a full on view of my asshole. His fingers slip between my folds as he begins to pleasure me. It feels good but I'd rather have his cock back inside me again.
I'm working up the courage to say that when I shriek as I feel something wet press into the tight ring of muscles of my backside. He stops finger fucking my pussy to hold both my cheeks apart as he buries his face between them, his tongue probing me.
My mind is reeling at what’s happening and I can’t seem to catch up with all these new sensations. No one has ever fucked my ass before, much less given me a rimjob.
"Kane," I manage to get out though the word is more of a strangled cry. "Please. Stop." It's not terrible but it's a completely foreign sensation and I’d rather get back to what’s familiar. He stops and I think he's going to listen to my plea, until he inserts a finger inside and begins to pump it in and out at an agonizingly slow pace. I can feel every inch of it and my muscles tighten around it.
"Shh," he murmurs, kissing my ass and then nipping it softly. "You need to relax."
"I can't," I grind out. Not only is the feeling on the fence between pleasure and pain but my current position is making my thigh muscles burn. I can feel them quivering from exhaustion at having all my weight on only one leg. My knee starts to bend and I scrabble at the wall trying not to fall over.
"Shit," he grunts, perhaps realizing how difficult this is for me. He stands and picks me up, cradling me to his chest.
Before I know it I'm tossed on the bed and don't even have time to adjust as he flips me onto my stomach and pulls me up by my hips so I flop face first into the bed on my knees.
He doesn't waste time, as something cool drips down the crack of my ass. "Lube," he explains as he picks up where he left off, pushing a finger inside my ass again. Perhaps to distract me from it, he reaches around and rubs my clit with his free hand.
I groan into the bedding, my fingers twisting around the sheets as he adds a second finger, and picks up speed. It's a truly strange sensation but the longer he does it, the more pleasurable it becomes.
When he finally adds a third finger, I feel stretched and full. The slight discomfort that comes with it is nothing compared to the pleasure and he continues to play with my clit in earnest.
I climax, my moaning muffled by the sheets. It's more intense than any orgasm I can recall. The sensation of my body spasming around his fingers as he continues to slam into my ass is incredible.
As I come down from the high I hear the rip of foil and feel his thighs press into the backs of my own. He leans over me and murmurs into my ear, "Keep breathing and relax as much as possible."
He positions himself with a hand pressed to the flat of my stomach and the other beside my shoulder to hold his weight off of me. I feel his cock press against me and the head push through the tight ring of muscles and into my ass.
It feels so much thicker than his fingers did and tears well in my eyes immediately. I bite my lip again to keep from whimpering as he slowly begins to slide himself in and out. He moves slowly, allowing me to feel each and every inch. I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse.
After a few minutes, it's moved from not-quite-bareable and to almost-pleasurable. He then asks, "Can I go further now?"
The question makes no sense to me so I grind out, "What?"
"I'm barely inside you, Ama."
My eyes bulge at the thought that there's still more of him I'm supposed to fit inside.
"How much more?"
"Not even halfway yet."
"Fuck," I groan and he stills inside me, waiting for my answer.
"Just do it," I gasp out, not able to wrap my mind around what that means until he sheaths himself to the hilt. I gasp, my chest feeling tight, and cry out. It feels like my stomach is going to explode and I wonder if he’s torn me apart. All I can feel is pain radiating out from where our bodies connect.
I hear a strangled sound behind me and Kane groans, "Fuck you're going to break my dick off if you tighten up that much." It is by far the most vulgar thing I’ve ever heard Kane say and I feel like he’s channeling Alpha for a moment.
He changes positions, kneeling upright with his hands on my hips, and starts to move again. Pain and pleasure courses through me in equal parts and I'm starting to fear that I might be something of a masochist. It feels good and the hurt seems to only enhance that.
I lose myself in this new foreign sensation until his grip on my hips becomes bruisingly tight as his movements become erratic. He moans loudly, the sound making me wish I could see his face. He reaches around me again and rubs my clit furiously giving me no recourse but to come again with him still in my ass.
He continues to slowly thrust into me through the duration of my orgasm and when I can finally breathe again, he pulls out. I hear movement behind me before he gently turns me around and lays me onto my back, crawling up the bed to lay beside me.
Both of our bodies are slick with sweat as he pulls me against him, tucking me into his side with his arms wrapped firmly around me. I want to say something, anything, to break myself out of this feeling of bliss; I don't want to forget that it's just sex. But my whole body feels like Jell-O and his warmth is so appealing.
I fall asleep before I can even string together a coherent thought.