"Omigosh I'm soooo excited!"
A grin split Heather's face as they stood outside the black-painted brick of The Gully. The rest of their group gathered around her, their summer attire standing in stark contrast to the chilly evening air. Kaitlyn, for her part, had worn a few layers under her usual hoodie to compensate. But how the popular girls seemed immune to weather effects still baffled her.
"Right?" Another girl wearing far too much makeup – Shannon was her name – chimed in. "Like, I was binging their new album all day!"
"Have you ever seen them live before? Like, I didn't even know they were on tour!"
Kaitlyn listened to the group chatter with excitement. The girls swapped theories and hopes about what songs Maze of Ills would play along with their personal opinions on each. Compared to previous concert trips, however, this one was a bit different.
"What about you, Kate?"
"Hmmm…" Kaitlyn tilted her head thoughtfully. "I really like Most Mornings, but I kind of agree with you on Blue and Silver. There's just something about it that gets me every time."
"Omigosh, I love Blue and Silver!"
"Really?" Heather's mouth dropped open in exaggerated surprise. "Most Mornings is like, so much more their style!"
Kaitlyn just shrugged. "You're right, but still. I kind of like when they try to do something different, you know?"
Compared to the first few times Heather had brought her along, it was hard to comprehend just how much Kaitlyn had changed. She wasn't the same awkward wallflower as before anymore. Now, she could hold her own even among a crowd as boisterous and outgoing as this. Conversations no longer felt like running through a hail of gunfire from all sides.
It still took a lot out of her, of course. There was only so much of this stuff she could take before getting exhausted. She could never bear to be the center of attention like Heather seemed to enjoy. But neither did she have to hide. Even better, she actually knew a lot of the group by virtue of Kate's Kitchen. Heather had obviously advertised to them, after all.
"By the way," Kaitlyn interjected, "have any of you heard of the opener? Dream Lizards?"
"Hmm?"
"Nope, no idea."
A Literature major named Yvette piped up. "I have! I've listened to a few of their songs. I really like them."
"Really?"
"What are they like?"
"They can't be as good as Maze of Ills though, right?"
The conversation continued on for a while, self-sustaining even without her help. Heather turned to her. "Do you know the opener, Kate?"
She nodded. "I like their stuff. Their bassist is in my Genetics class, actually."
"Omigosh, really?" Heather's eyes gleamed. "Is he hot?"
A dry chuckle escaped Kaitlyn. Not this again. I hope she doesn't get any funny ideas about Elliot… "Guess you'll have to see."
Another girl interjected. "No way he's better than the Maze of Ills drummer. He's like, totally my celeb crush."
Heather crossed her arms. "Nuh-uh. No way you like him more than the lead singer."
"Sean? I mean, he's cute, but Blake's got that rebellious aesthetic going for him too…"
Eventually, the front doors finally opened. The group bustled in through the dimly lit interior to stake out a place near the edge of the stage. Kaitlyn, for her part, headed to grab a few waters for the group. The nearby booths and center bar would all but disappear as the place filled up, and she knew better than to wait until that happened.
As she meandered toward the center bar, she spared a glance around the interior of The Gully. There wasn't much to see. The tables and chairs that usually occupied the center space had been cleared away, leaving only the bar, a few booths, and the stage. The mass of bodies became ever more dense as students streamed in, bringing the room's temperature up a degree or two.
In truth, it had been a while since she'd been to this concert. She'd occasionally made time for it during the loops she'd grinded for the Dean's List achievement, especially once her relationship with Heather began to recover. But not often.
It kind of feels weird to come here when I'm in lab. Mostly because Elliot's so secretive about his music side. I feel like I have to hide in the crowd or something.
Perhaps she was overthinking it. After all, it wasn't like she was coming to see Elliot specifically. She was coming at the behest of her friend, who didn't even care about his band. But still. Mentioning the Dream Lizards in lab had seemed like a pretty quick way to set Elliot on guard. Less so when he brought the topic up himself, thankfully. But it simply didn't seem worth coming and making the rest of the loop's lab time feel awkward. Especially when she had so many other things to do. Besides, she'd already seen the performance plenty.
She returned to the group and passed out the waters to a chorus of thanks. One of the less over-the-top girls named Natalie sidled up to Kaitlyn as they waited.
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"Soooo. Do you know what kind of food you're making next week?"
She just grinned. "It's a surprise. Though… I'm kind of in a soup mood, with how cold it's getting…"
"Oh, yes please." Natalie shivered in her crop top and torn jeans. Evidently she didn't have quite the same kind of cold resistance as Heather. "I could definitely use some. I'm just now warming up a bit from outside."
"Why didn't you bring a jacket or something?" Kaitlyn chuckled.
"I didn't think it would be this cold! It was, like, so nice out today!"
"Fair, I guess." She just shook her head. "But still, it's late fall. Even a nice day isn't exactly beach weather."
"Well, I like this top and I'm gonna keep wearing it as long as I can." Natalie pouted. "By the way, your risotto was amazing. I let my roommate try it, and she totally wants the recipe. She doesn't even like mushrooms!"
"Sure. I can write it down for you, if you want."
"Wait, really?" Natalie blanched. "Isn't that, like, a trade secret?"
Kaitlyn waved the concern off. "Nah. I don't mind. Most people don't even have the equipment around to cook it anyway. Besides, I've got more requests than I can handle already…"
"Wow. Thanks, Kate!" The girl beamed. "My roommate is gonna be pumped."
The lights dimmed further, plunging the stage into darkness. Vague silhouettes began moving about the instruments, slinging guitars over their shoulders and taking their positions. As the first notes of a slow, sentimental song rang out, it was met with a scattering of excited cheers and whoops.
"Omigosh, it's starting!" Heather gasped from nearby. "Finally!"
With a final note, spotlights illuminated the stage and revealed the Dream Lizards. Elliot's ginger-haired form stood beside them, his familiar bass held ready. With a quick count-off from the drummer, the group launched into their first song with energetic gusto.
As they played, Kaitlyn watched Elliot. A slight smile of satisfaction adorned his face, his flannel shifting as he strummed. The guy had been friendly enough in lab. Over the loops, they'd even grabbed lunch together a few times. When she wasn't wrapped up in her work, of course. But even though she technically knew more about him than Philip, he still seemed mysterious and distant.
It could be my fault, she realized. I think I was pretty good at not obsessing over lab early on. I think. But If I'm wrong… If I ever got as bad as I was in those last few loops, then no wonder he didn't want to talk to me much.
It also didn't help that some part of her didn't want to talk to Elliot, either. Talking to any of the male leads reminded her too much of the purpose for this game, after all. It was a big reason she'd set aside pursuing new endings for the moment.
But what did I replace that with? Running myself ragged, apparently. Getting way too focused on one thing. I was basically doing the same thing as I did when I had issues with Heather.
She glanced over at her roommate. The girl's straightened blond hair practically shimmered as she bobbed and swayed to the music. In that case, Kaitlyn's efforts hadn't exactly amounted to much. Just talking to the girl resolved everything, a revelation that could have saved her a lot of time and frustration. At least this time she'd thrown herself into learning useful skills.
The band played on. As they started up another song, Kaitlyn found herself focusing on the keyboard player and his parts. They sounded fairly simple, outside of a few notable sections with flourishes aplenty. But nothing too intimidating.
I wonder if I can learn to play those.
She filed the thought a way for later. For now, it was time to enjoy the show.
***
A pair of tall stockpots sat atop the electric stoves, their tops covered and the heat turned low. Each was filled nearly to the brim with rich and creamy macaroni and cheese.
It was a recipe Kaitlyn had all but perfected at this point. What sat within these pots was as good as she could get without going full gourmet on it and dropping some serious money on ingredients. Even then, it was a matter of diminishing returns. This stuff was already pretty much liquid gold poured onto pasta.
She gave the pots one last stir before turning to the long table behind. A collection of little styrofoam takeout boxes already waited there, ready for food to be deposited within. Heather whirled about the small cluster of waiting students that represented the first delivery group as she socialized and collected payments. The girl never wasted an opportunity to establish better connections.
"Food's ready!" Kaitlyn called back
"Perfect!" Heather beamed. "Can you get me ten boxes for this group?"
"Yup!" With a bit of effort, Kaitlyn hefted the stockpot and brought it over to the table, setting it down on a towel. It took more effort than she'd like to admit. Dang. Maybe I should start working out again, if only to lift these pots. They get pretty heavy.
As she dished up the servings, Kaitlyn's mind wandered. Between this, programming, and music, this loop had been pretty good overall. It was less stressful, certainly, and she enjoyed each activity more than she'd expected. Still, forcing herself to actually rest sometimes instead of stuffing her schedule with yet more things gave her time to think. Time that she didn't particularly want to spend thinking. Time where memories of past loops bubbled up without her consent, or even worse, memories from before getting transported into Heartthrob University.
She ladled another heaping scoop of macaroni into a box. A few of the students thanked her or offered compliments as they picked up their food. I don't want to think about that stuff. I really don't. But… She suppressed a heavy sigh. Maybe I need to. Maybe I was onto something before, with the whole… Alex thing. About needing to actually think through it before it stops haunting me.
Even now, the thought filled her with dread. Even reminiscing about those times still sent pangs of bittersweet longing through her. Memories of time spent with a group she could truly have called her friends. Time spent believing there was an easier way out.
"Hey, that smells amazing!"
"It does, doesn't it?"
"I think just about anything would smell good to me right now. I'm starving."
The feelings of loss were duller now, which gave her hope that it was a matter of time. But even then, how much more time could she handle doing the same thing?
These loops will drive me insane eventually. Maybe they already have.
"Cedric, you just ate."
"That was barely a snack. Alex, back me up here."
"...I mean…"
"Oh come on!"
"Well, perhaps if you didn't try to call three slices of pizza a snack, he would be more willing to support you."
Yeah, I think I am going crazy. The memories just feel so vivid. Like it was yesterday.
"Hey, they were small pieces!"
"Don't look at me! I thought ahead and saved room for the good food."
"Alex, you don't even know what good food is. You like the disgusting Hawaiian pizza at Cappy's."
"Cedric, sweetie. Don't insult Hawaiian pizza. That's a battle you won't win."
"I'm not, I'm dissing theirs. Even you have to admit it's nasty, Rach."
Kaitlyn's brow furrowed. That felt almost too vivid. Like she was really hearing the voices.
I'm not that crazy yet. Am I?
She lifted her head to glance around the common room. Near the stairwell, she spotted a familiar trio of figures. One was a lithe, dark-skinned girl with tightly curled hair hanging loose about her shoulders. Next to her was a familiar brunette first year guy. And the last…
A tall athlete with dark tan skin grinned at his two friends. His wavy black hair was pulled back in a short ponytail, his fingers laced behind his head casually. As always, he wore a plain white tshirt and basketball shorts regardless of the cold outside. Deep brown eyes glinted with amusement.
It was Alex. And he was headed her way.