Rest and Recuperation

Wanderer had sat in their position for almost an hour and a half when they finally felt enough like themself to do some light pondering.

They did a cursory survey of their emotions and consequently found a deep tiredness within them, suffusing their being.

They had at first thought that the tiredness was the same that had come from their overload back at the ruins, yet while that apathy was still very present, they found that this particular exhaustion was not completely the same.

If anything it was closer to desperation, a desperation to take control of their own life.

This feeling was due to a realisation, that throughout their entire existence, they had always been a slave to circumstance..

Sure, there was the occasional time where they decided they wanted to go here or there, or acted out of a few options, but far too many times they were forced into one route or another because of desperation.

The swarmlings, the titan tree, both cave-ins, even their encounter with the boy and the rebels could be considered out of their hands to some extent.

And to be honest, Wanderer was sick of it.

They hadn't realised it before, but even though they were discovering and exploring during these times, they hadn't truly kept to the concept of exploration their soul desired.

Exploration was about choice, about deciding the journey and discovering along the way.

Yes, it was inevitable that they would encounter situations and be carried with the tide, that was part of the experience as well, but fundamentally, their direction had to be theirs to choose.

But more and more Wanderer felt that they lacked choice, like they were being dragged around by something they couldn't identify.

“Perhaps it is the need in my soul to discover, to the extent that I am its slave.” they considered.

Ka-cketika themself had actively rebuked this idea, stating that such a feeling was only a direction, and that Wanderer was no more a slave to it than a human was to having to reproduce.

They supposed, in a way that was true, afterall Wanderer was currently exploring very little, and was feeling very little urge to do so.

But nonetheless, something about the whole situation felt off.

“Perhaps it is because I am too young.” Wanderer thought.

Perhaps without another Golem’s guidance they had not learned how to control their concept, and as such it guided them to explore without rest or concern, despite how much they felt otherwise.

Or maybe, instead it was the many oaths Wanderer had taken throughout their life.

There was of course their oath to never kill, their decree to free slaves, never let life pass them by and rescue any Spirits they found.

But there were also the commitments they had made without realising, to protect the rebels, find out more about their people and parents, find an instrument and save the lives of others.

For how long had the walls been slowly closing in without them realising.

In truth, they didnt know if this was the cause of their desperation either, they had no clue, but the fact remained that it was there and it was the cause of alot of their problems.

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They spent another moment just resting, but soon came to a conclusion.

Too often they were driven to try and find a purpose behind things, as was their nature, and that wasn't strictly a bad thing.

But in this case, with this unknown feeling and unknown motivator behind their frequent disasters, they didn't have to know what was causing it to counteract it.

“First, I will take more breaks” Wanderer resolved, feeling that taking things a bit slower would help in their ability to make decisions.

“Next, I will be more cautious.”

This was already one of the many resolutions they had made throughout their travels, but found that very quickly they were unable to stick to it, and hoped to try again now that they were out of danger.

“Finally, I will give myself time to choose, instead of blindly rushing ahead.”

That was the crux of Wanderer’s new resolutions, removing the problem by assaulting its cause, they were sure it would work.

A little burst of pride jolted through them at their mature response to their problems, especially without the guidance of their Spirit.

That got them thinking on the subject of their Spirit, who had left to rest and recuperate, much as Wanderer was doing now.

The Vessel didn't blame them for that of course, but funnily enough, they found they didn't blame themself either.

What they had done was shortsighted and hurtful, they regretted it deeply, but with what they knew it wasn't entirely unreasonable.

They didn't know enough about the situation, and had made a decision without thinking it through.

They would simply have to try to learn a bit more, and treat their Spirit with more respect when they came back.

The Golem let their thoughts drift for a minute, just revelling in the ability to do so, while Emio made a groaning purr in their lap.

Finally, after a long while resting in the cave, Wanderer got up and began to explore a little, taking their time as they did so.

Emio, for their part, was unwilling to get going and shoved themself back into the hole, where Wanderer had little issue with them staying.

They would explore a bit and come pick Emio back up when they were ready to get moving.

As it was, it was the peak of the day so there would be little hope of travelling anyway.

The world outside the cave was familiar, almost identical to the one they had seen at the bottom of their last ravine, if a little larger.

The vultures and birds were here, but in smaller numbers for reasons Wanderer was unsure of, their presence being replaced by man made intervention.

Though lesser around Wanderer, pale scaffolding covered the rocky sides of the mesa, reaching up to the shimmering ore of gold.

Or at least, it would have at one point if now those particular veins were not completely mined out, leaving viscous gashes in the rock.

It was likely because of this there was no one over this side anymore, though the Golem wasn't sure about the otherside round.

In all honesty, they weren't really ready for more human interaction, especially with those who may want to kill them or rat them out to the hunters.

“Then again” the Vessel thought, “I managed to be stealthy once in a place very similar to this one.”

Perhaps the Golem could sneak over, just to check out what the humans were doing, then sneak back with all appropriate caution.

As long as the Golem was careful, they would be fine.

“But what if they have a guard like the caravan did?”

If a normal human noticed them, Wanderer was confident in their escape, but if they were found by one of those hunters, with the metal inlaid into their skin, they didnt know how that would go.

“I need a second plan, an escape plan.”

They puzzled for a second, thinking over what they could do before finally settling on their solution.

From their pack, they pulled the long neglected flare bow, still gleaming with potential just like when they had acquired it.

They would simply carry that with them, and if they were noticed they would fire it and run away.

The flash would surely be enough to cover their escape, then they could get back to Emio and find another way out.

If they just got Emio to carry them out of the canyon, then surely no human, enhanced or otherwise, would be able to follow at such speed.

Emio was very good at climbing.

Having made up their mind, Wanderer began to make their way up the sandy bottom of the ravine, following closely a little brook of fresh water, of which followed their intended direction.

They really hoped they hadn't thrown themselves the wrong way this time.