Mistake and Reconciliation

Wanderer asked their question, panic making their message messy and improper.

“Are Spirit evil, force us obey them, our souls aligned to their magic?”

Instead of the wizened or retaliatory response they were expecting, the Vessel was instead met with confusion.

“Is this what you were worried about, what made you think that?”

Wanderer didn't reply.

“It is true that the variety of Spirit provides us with our purpose, what we enjoy doing, but we, as Golems are still beings of free will. Just as a human can avoid having children or progressing socially or whatever you believe their purpose to be, so too can you resist the purpose bestowed upon you by your Spirit.”

“To put it simply, you are more than any side effect of your Spirit’s occupation, and if they truly tried to force you to do something you didn't want to do, there would be nothing preventing you from resisting them.”

“As to the matter of your Spirit, while I can not personally vouch for their moral nature, the fact that they chose to leave instead of forcing you or attacking you at least shows that they aren't blatantly cruel.”

With every word, Wanderer’s argument was breaking down, realising in dread that their Spirit had never tried to betray them, instead it was the Golem who had turned on them like a vulture at their most vulnerable state.

Their Spirit had been opening up to them about their worries and problems, despite how much they had been reluctant to do so.

But instead of listening, the Vessel latched onto one tiny idea, one piece of the greater whole they didn't fully understand, and in the process drove their greatest friend away.

Wanderer called out to their Spirit again, and again received no answer.

“I betrayed them, attack them when they vulnerable!” the Golem cried out to Ka-cketika, in the hope their senior would have some advice.

The librarian wasted no time replying, feeling that they needed to calm Wanderer from their panicked state.

“Just calm down, I'm sure your Spirit will understand, just talk to me and we will work this through together.”

Despite the wisdom of the librarian's words, the Vessel did not calm down, the attempted help seeming far away and unreachable in a way that was reminiscent of the panic they would face while they were young.

Further and further Wanderer spiralled into their worries, such that even the prodding and attention grabbing of the increasingly worried Emio did little to resolve the situation.

Throughout the turmoil, one chief question kept returning to their mind, sticking there like tar.

“Why did I do this, why did I turn so quickly on those I love.”

There were a hundred thousand possible reasons, but the one that stuck the most in Wanderers panic-addled mind was that they simply didn't know enough.

They didn't know the extent to which Spirit’s magic affected them, they didn't know the signs and tells of malicious manipulation, they didn't know how to properly talk to their Spirit, to work things out calmly.

They didn't know, didn't know, didn't know.

They needed to know more, see more, meet more people, explore more.

That was the only way that they could avoid this happening again.

All while these thoughts were going through their head, a small, quiet voice was growing louder and louder, slowly piercing through the fog of the Golem’s mind.

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Soon, it got to the point that, even with the Vessel's complete isolation from the world around them, their mind was forced to devote a fraction of its attention to it.

The voice sounded familiar, like the rumble of the earth and wind on the mountaintops, every word carried with it a sense of wonder for things greater than itself, cherishing the feeling of feeling small in the face of the complexity of the universe.

The voice was that of a Spirit of exploration, Wanderer’s Spirit.

All of the anxiety and panic that once whirled through the Vessel’s mind was spewed into the link between them and their Spirit, converting into half formed apologies and begs for forgiveness.

The Spirit received it all, taking it in stride and waiting till it stopped.

No one can say how long it did take to finally end, for the endless list of fears and grievances to finally grind to a slow halt, but by the end of the flood of half formed emotion Wanderer felt tired, tired in a way that they hadn't felt before.

It was as if every emotion and thought they had ever had had spit out into the world around them and dissipated in smoke, leaving nothing left for their mind to pursue nor worry about, only a dry, dull ache having been left behind.

A few moments of silence reigned before the Spirit responded, slowly, calmly, and without a hint of malice.

They began by accepting Wanderer’s apologies, insisting that they understood why what had happened, happened and making sure to show that they forgave them in kind.

Wanderer was young, after all, had only been created a handful of days ago and didn't know how to react to things properly, how to deal with secrets.

The Spirit followed with their own apology, an apology for withholding information about how they met Wanderer and what little they knew about their parent, an apology for not raising Wanderer right, not telling them enough to deal with the chaotic life they were placed in.

There was a moment of silence as the Spirit prepared itself for what was to come, a silence that bred nothing but disquiet in the Vessel’s soul as their anxiousness mounted for their Spirit's final resolution.

The Spirit had taken the time while they were banished by the Golem to reflect on all that had happened, the journey, Wanderer, their own actions.

They realised that they had become trapped in the moment of Wanderer’s world, so worried about the present that they had forgotten the bigger picture, neglecting the past and future.

The Spirit had spent every moment they could with the Golem, leaving only when completely necessary to the point that their mind had become muddled by the situations Wanderer consistently found themselves in and the fear, anxiety and pain that followed.

Over time, the wisdom and intelligence they had built over thousands of years of exploring had become muddled and reactionary, failing to stop problems and instead only helping when the issue had already come to pass.

That had to stop, otherwise misfortune would finally take its dues and Wanderer would die.

Spirit could not let that happen.

So, for the good of Wanderer and for the good of themself, the Spirit decided they were going to take a break.

For a short while, the Spirit was going to leave Wanderer to their own devices, trusting in Emio to help them until the Spirit worked out their thoughts and put their plans back together.

Perhaps if the Golem had been a little more awake, had a little more energy then they would have resisted the Spirit's decision, but as it was every bit of resistance had been sucked out of them by their panic and so they let their Spirit go with one final question.

“Can you at least tell me what you know about my parent before you go?” Wanderer asked, unable to let such information go even in the state they were in.

The Spirit acquiesced with very little resistance, yet warned that they didn't know much and that Wanderer would likely leave disappointed.

When in the Spirit realm, any Spirit is requested to inhabit a Golem by a call from their parent which echoes throughout the realm.

They had been in the area when the call went out and was pounced upon by the traditional Spirits who always hoard the Golems, yet when another call went out despite all the superior Spirits around, they got curious and went to investigate.

Wanderer’s Spirit arrived just in time to hear a weak cry, burning with inner fire slowly sputtering under waves of sadness, and without hesitation they took the chance they were given, uncaring of the Vessel’s unique form.

Once they found their place inside Wanderer, they had no way of knowing anything more about their parent, they knew nothing of the world until the Vessel awoke.

At the finishing of the story, the Golem relaxed themselves ever so slightly, the solution to one of the issues that caused their mistake allowing them to let just a little of the mental weight go.

A treacherous part of their mind insisted that the Spirit was lying and they truly knew much more about the Golem’s parent, but this idea was crushed by the apathy that had overcome them and burned under what little logic remained.

Afterall, what would the Spirit gain from hiding anything else?

With one concern wrapped up, Wanderer turned to the most pressing, their Spirit's departure.

The Vessel didn't want their Spirit to go, of course, but they understood why and hoped it was for the best.

In any case, there was nothing they could do to stop them.

Wanderer worked up what little gratefulness they could muster and thanked their Spirit, wishing them the best of luck while they were gone.

And with nary another word or message, the Spirit had left, leaving behind little more than a thoughtless shell from which Wanderer drew their power.

With that, the Golem's mind finally returned to the real world.